00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Phile, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:10 - 00:00:57:09
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:57:11 - 00:01:24:22
Filly
Hello! Welcome to the potty. Have you ever felt stuck with implementation? You know all the theory. You know what you should be doing in order to heal and to be well? Maybe you might even have studied. Or you're a practitioner yourself. Or a therapist. Or maybe you're just a health nut and you gather all this information, but you really struggle to implement and to take action.
00:01:24:23 - 00:01:59:23
Filly
If that is you, you're going to really love today's podcast episode. It is a live root cause coaching session that Chris did with the lovely, and essentially the podcast episode or the coaching session is all around overcoming these inner blocks around feeling stuck, feeling stuck, taking action and moving forward and embracing authenticity. This root cause coaching session is a really pivotal piece in our ending body burnout method.
00:02:00:01 - 00:02:29:21
Filly
We work on both the physical body and also the metaphysical parts of us the unconscious mind, the nervous system, the brain, the neural pathways, your unconscious core beliefs and patterns and programming and stuck trauma in the body. So when we work with our clients to really go deep into deeper metaphysical root causes, today you're going to get an example or be a little fly on the wall for what that looks like.
00:02:29:21 - 00:02:52:00
Filly
When we're coaching a client inside our program. By the way, talking about the ending body burnout method program that doors do open in Feb, so just a few weeks away. We are so excited. If you are on the waitlist and you are interested. Head down to the Shownotes. Jump on the waitlist. And the benefit of doing that is that we have limited spaces.
00:02:52:00 - 00:03:13:10
Filly
Our Ending Body Burnout method program includes a lot of a one on one support, regardless of whether you choose the semi-private or the private one and one option. So we can only take so many clients in so we can serve our people and not burn ourselves out. And also, when you're on the waitlist, you get access to early bird bonuses.
00:03:13:10 - 00:03:34:05
Filly
If you join 48 hours before the doors are open. So that is definitely worth doing. You get over $500 worth of early bird bonuses, so check out that in the show notes. And also if you're curious, but you would love to learn a bit more about how we work with our clients, how we help them to and their body burn out.
00:03:34:05 - 00:03:55:16
Filly
Rewire the parts of them that are causing them to stay stuck or causing the health issues in the first place. You will love to come along to out our free Rewire your Brain to Heal Body Burn at three day live event. Now we've held this. I think this will be the third or the fourth time we held this free event.
00:03:55:22 - 00:04:17:20
Filly
The reason we're putting out on again is because we have had over 3000 people now register. We've had a lot of people attend, a lot of people watching the replays and getting great feedback around the many, if not big transformations that people have even live on. These free workshops. So it's a good way to, go a bit deeper in your healing journey.
00:04:18:01 - 00:04:39:22
Filly
Also, experience what it's like to work with Chris and I inside out ending body burn out method. And yeah, to essentially try before you buy. So if you would love to come along, check out the link in the show. You know, and so we would love to see you there. It is happening in Feb on the 10th, 11th and 12th of February.
00:04:40:00 - 00:04:47:05
Filly
Alrighty. Let's get into today's episode.
00:04:47:07 - 00:05:05:05
Chris
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Ending Body Burn Out show. Today you have me, Chris, for a live coaching call and we have a guest on the On the Line. We've got a welcome, welcome aid to this coaching call.
00:05:05:07 - 00:05:06:09
E
Thank you for having me.
00:05:06:11 - 00:05:20:02
Chris
No worries. I just want to set a couple of frames with you before we get into it. Is it okay if, this probably sounds a little bit silly? Is it all right if I be your coach today?
00:05:20:04 - 00:05:21:05
E
Yeah. Sounds good.
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Chris
Cool. Awesome. In your opinion, what? What are you, What are you. Whoa. What does coaching mean to you?
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E
I guess it's a sort of hand in hand walking alongside you. Supporting someone to explore different aspects of their lives and themselves, and guiding them towards kind of where they want to go.
00:05:53:01 - 00:06:22:17
Chris
Yeah. Cool, I love it. Sounds good. Something else that I'm wondering if I could pop in there. Kind of like a mirror. I don't I don't think that that it would be possible for for me to to support you if if you weren't where you are, if you weren't able to see where you are, if you weren't able to accept that you are where you are and you're you're doing what you're doing, you've got what you've got.
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Chris
So is it okay if I kind of be a a metaphorical mirror and reflect back to you things that you've said, things that you're doing, that sort of thing.
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E
Yeah, yeah. So that's good.
00:06:33:15 - 00:06:55:07
Chris
Cool. And the other, the other thing about coaching that, that I like to think about is, if, if I, if it seems like we're going in a direction where you kind of don't want to go, you feel either, unwilling or, there's some sort of a I don't, I don't like that. I don't want to.
00:06:55:08 - 00:07:16:05
Chris
I don't want to go there. Is it cool if you just just let me know? And I mean, if if we have to, we can edit that out of the out of the podcast recording. Or, but just just, I'm giving you permission to, to stop me if we go any, anywhere that you don't want to go and and just kind of pump the brakes.
00:07:16:05 - 00:07:17:07
Chris
Is that cool?
00:07:17:09 - 00:07:18:08
E
Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
00:07:18:13 - 00:07:38:11
Chris
Sweet. And then the flip side of that, too, is it cool if I maybe jump in with the, like, hey. Or just real quick, like an interrupt, by a buzzer or whatever, just to say, hey, is it cool if can I just pull you up there? Is it all right if I do that? Yeah.
00:07:38:11 - 00:07:38:18
Chris
Awesome.
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E
Yeah, yeah. That's fun.
00:07:40:00 - 00:07:56:01
Chris
Nice. All right. And then the next frame that I want to kind of go into as part of coaching is. And you filled in a, in a form. Thank you. What would you like to get out of today?
00:07:56:03 - 00:08:28:13
E
I'm. Yeah. Really curious to see, like, your method and coaching generally. I've been in therapy before with a few different therapists in different modalities. But this one kind of spoke to me because you guys look at, sort of holistic, the holistic view of a person. So I'm sort of curious and want to explore and, I don't have anything like, any goal or specific outcome that I'm looking for.
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E
I guess I just kind of want to see where it goes.
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Chris
Cool. All right. Well, technically, we could like. And the call right now, and we're already there because we've just gone somewhere, haven't we?
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E
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Chris
So if you had to want for something, even though you. You might not have any sort of goals clearly defined. I've got you. I've got your notes, but I just kind of want to know your thoughts right now. What's what's something that. If you could jump off our call today and just be, like, sweet. Yeah. Cool.
00:09:09:14 - 00:09:24:09
Chris
I like that lot. I can I can take that and run, I like that. What's something that you would like to, walk away with or have or or be or think or or do something like that?
00:09:24:11 - 00:09:50:08
E
I guess a bit more of, an understanding or, new sort of perspective on, the way that I kind of feel a bit sort of stuck or like, blocked myself from doing stuff that I know is helpful for me. And that I just don't engage in so much, like, I, I know that it's there and I know that it's accessible.
00:09:50:08 - 00:09:59:11
E
And I think about it and I don't necessarily like that doesn't actually translate into action. As much as I would like or think that would be helpful.
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Chris
Yeah. Cool. As your as you're talking, you, you've probably got some sort of a movie about what you're talking about specifically in regards to to that I'm assuming.
00:10:13:23 - 00:10:41:03
E
Yeah. I mean, there's, there's a few different aspects to that. But I'm thinking about it more in terms of my own understanding of, like the nervous system and stress and how that's managed and more sort of somatic practices, that I sort of understand the theory and, like, it all makes sense to me, you know, rationally.
00:10:41:05 - 00:10:59:19
E
But, that there is a sort of a block in terms of actually engaging with some of these practices. And, you know, regulating my own nervous system and managing my stress. There's something about I can't really I can't do that for whatever reason.
00:10:59:21 - 00:11:08:21
Chris
So just said differently. And to clarify, you want to do some nervous system regulation stuff that you've been exposed to, that you've learnt.
00:11:08:23 - 00:11:12:16
E
00:11:12:18 - 00:11:15:12
Chris
But you feel blocked.
00:11:15:14 - 00:11:16:14
E
00:11:16:15 - 00:11:24:03
Chris
Yeah. Cool. All right.
00:11:24:05 - 00:11:31:05
Chris
And, and so if we were to.
00:11:31:07 - 00:12:03:13
Chris
Like excruciatingly, painfully be more blunt and specific. You know like really maybe focus on. Can you be more, more detailed around, like what? Nervous system regulation stuff you want to do, but even then you feel like you're blocked. Like, what sort of stuff do you feel like specifically you want to do?
00:12:03:15 - 00:12:28:13
E
I want to engage more with the, like some of the somatic practices around breathing or stress release or. Yeah, it's stuff that I'm learning a lot about that there's lots of different things that are body based, that are really important and make a lot of sense for managing stress and emotions. But I don't I don't really do them.
00:12:28:15 - 00:12:32:08
E
I think about them more and I do them.
00:12:32:10 - 00:12:56:15
Chris
Yeah. Okay. And then I'll come back to that one in a second. And you feel blocked, so part of you feels blocked. And we, we only do what what we believe works. We only we we always, act with our best.
00:12:56:17 - 00:13:15:09
Chris
Interest at mind, even though it might seem like a part of us is is not, that's pulling us in a different direction, but. So you feel blocked. So what's what's that all about? Can you speak with some intuition around, like, what's what? That blockage is?
00:13:15:11 - 00:13:31:19
E
I guess it's. I feel more like, stuck than blocked, like, rather than having, like, something external that's in my way that I'm not able to sort of move forward. It's more, maybe more of an internal block if you want to call it that.
00:13:31:21 - 00:13:36:03
Chris
Yeah. So you feel like something out there is blocking. Is that what you what you said? No.
00:13:36:03 - 00:13:36:12
E
There's something.
00:13:36:14 - 00:13:37:06
Chris
It is internal.
00:13:37:11 - 00:13:42:02
E
Block. It's more internal. It's more like feeling stuck rather than blocked.
00:13:42:04 - 00:13:54:06
Chris
Yeah, yeah. Cool. Okay.
00:13:54:08 - 00:14:01:15
Chris
00:14:01:17 - 00:14:06:10
Chris
Okay. Thanks.
00:14:06:12 - 00:14:13:14
Chris
So I'm just going to bring up a a little thingamajig.
00:14:13:15 - 00:14:17:05
E
00:14:17:07 - 00:14:45:05
Chris
So this will be, this will be visible to you live on the call. But for our listeners they won't see what we're talking about. Basically what I'm going to do listeners is I'm going to draw a cross on, on a page, like a Cartesian Cartesian logic, quad quadratic logic, kind of kind of type deal. And let me grab some text to make this small.
00:14:45:07 - 00:14:52:02
Chris
So I'll share my screen in just a moment with you. A.
00:14:52:04 - 00:14:53:20
Chris
Can you see that? Okay.
00:14:53:21 - 00:14:54:10
E
Yeah.
00:14:54:12 - 00:14:58:02
Chris
Yeah. Is it blurry? I might, I might zoom in just a little bit.
00:14:58:04 - 00:15:00:05
E
No. No. Yes. But it wasn't anything.
00:15:00:05 - 00:15:11:17
Chris
Okay, cool. Okay. So. So let's go. Benefit.
00:15:11:19 - 00:15:18:17
Chris
Benefit. Cost.
00:15:18:18 - 00:15:41:20
Chris
Cost. Okay. So this is this is just a simple cross that I've drawn on a page, and I've got benefit to benefit up the top me in the top two quadrants. And I've got cost cost down in the bottom. Bottom two. And I'm just going to, populate these. What do we call them. Quadrants. As we, as we go.
00:15:41:22 - 00:15:43:01
E
00:15:43:12 - 00:15:52:16
Chris
Okay. So.
00:15:52:18 - 00:16:06:16
Chris
Let's make the top left hand one, benefit of doing the somatic practices,
00:16:06:18 - 00:16:26:03
Chris
Two and we'll make the top right benefit of not doing the somatic practices. We'll make the bottom left will make it the cost of doing the somatic practices.
00:16:26:05 - 00:16:26:19
E
00:16:26:21 - 00:16:57:01
Chris
And the bottom right, the cost of not doing the somatic practices. So what do you feel like? I mean, in your, in your head, you've probably got some, some sort of benefit, that you can think about, like when it comes to doing these somatic practices, you can think, yeah, I really want to do it because it for this reason, what are some of the reasons.
00:16:57:02 - 00:17:13:09
E
It'll help me manage my stress. Or help me, process and regulate my emotions.
00:17:13:10 - 00:17:44:15
E
Which I, I recognise would have sort of flow on effects to, just sort of feeling more at peace and sleeping better and, maybe showing up in my relationships in a bit of a different way.
00:17:44:17 - 00:17:50:02
Chris
What else?
00:17:50:04 - 00:18:17:21
E
I think it also would be beneficial from a professional standpoint, because I support people with doing these practices, and their mental health. So I think it would give me insight into what that is like to actually do it and engage with it.
00:18:17:23 - 00:18:21:15
Chris
What else?
00:18:21:17 - 00:18:27:11
E
00:18:27:13 - 00:19:01:20
E
I think it would just be a good sort of, addition to, I guess, tools, in my toolbox for managing my wellbeing. And, Building on that so that as I go through life and more challenges and things come up that I feel a bit more, like grounded and solid and like, I can sort of, take on more, what's the word, be resilient to, to different things.
00:19:01:20 - 00:19:07:06
E
It I happen.
00:19:07:08 - 00:19:18:17
Chris
Cool. What else?
00:19:18:19 - 00:19:21:12
E
I if I can.
00:19:21:14 - 00:20:07:07
E
Maybe it would, like help me. Yeah. Like I said, sort of process emotions or past experiences. In the way that from my understanding, stress and trauma is, you know, stored in, well, there's a big somatic bodily nervous system component to that. It's not just in the mind and the brain. So I think that these practices could, over time, be part of helping me, process and let go of stuff.
00:20:07:09 - 00:20:14:08
Chris
Yeah.
00:20:14:09 - 00:20:25:01
Chris
Cool. What else?
00:20:25:03 - 00:20:32:05
E
I don't know if I can think of anything else.
00:20:32:07 - 00:20:56:00
Chris
And even though you might not be able to think of anything else. Is there anything else that might seem obvious or not obvious that. That, you know, is a benefit to doing somatic practices?
00:20:56:02 - 00:21:03:05
E
No, I feel like I've covered, pretty much covered all that with those different points.
00:21:03:07 - 00:21:35:07
Chris
Yeah. Cool. What about I think these things would show up in a textbook, manage stress, process, regulate emotions at pace, sleep better, show up different in relationships. That one I think is, is personal. Benefit you professionally?
00:21:35:09 - 00:21:58:23
Chris
Out of that list or there might be something else. Is there anything that really stands out to that? Yeah, that would be. That would be the that would be something really significant for me. What's the most important thing or the or the most meaningful reason or benefit?
00:21:59:01 - 00:22:35:06
E
I think it would be like the overall sort of overarching aspect of processing. Processing. Yes. Emotions, sensations, feelings, thoughts. Rather than just thinking or like being self-aware, actually doing something with it and processing and metabolising so.
00:22:35:08 - 00:23:09:22
Chris
Yeah. Okay. Cool, cool, cool. I'll, I'll just make that a different colour because that sounds like it's it's pretty meaningful to you. If you could. Okay. So if I just stop sharing my screen now, if you could process and let go of past traumas and experiences, emotions, sensations, thoughts, not just being self-aware but doing something with it metabolising it, what what would be what would that give you?
00:23:10:00 - 00:23:26:16
E
I think it would give me more of a sense of, like. Yeah, groundedness and pace and control over my life and,
00:23:26:18 - 00:23:47:20
E
Just more understanding of, how to cope with these different things so that they don't necessarily feel, like they kind of running the show. If that makes sense. Yeah.
00:23:47:22 - 00:24:01:18
Chris
And, and if you could understand how to coping you know, not let them run the show and you could feel groundedness and pace. What would that give you.
00:24:01:20 - 00:24:34:08
E
I guess more. Appreciation or like being more present in life and being able to live the way that I want. And, engage with life and, yeah, just be more in it, really, and experience it, which is. Yeah, something that I'm looking for.
00:24:34:10 - 00:24:57:05
Chris
And if you could be more present in life and live the way you want, by the way, listeners a smiled for the first time that I noticed when she said that, I don't know what that meant. That might not mean anything, but I think that's interesting that when you started talking about being present in life and living the way you want, I don't know what.
00:24:57:07 - 00:25:02:17
Chris
What what was that smile? What did that mean? Anything was. Was that anything?
00:25:02:19 - 00:25:05:21
E
I don't know, I wasn't I wasn't really conscious.
00:25:05:23 - 00:25:16:14
Chris
Yeah. That's that's interesting, that you that you smiled all of a sudden when you started thinking about living the way you want and and being more present in life.
00:25:16:15 - 00:25:17:10
E
00:25:17:12 - 00:25:40:01
Chris
That's pretty cool. I reckon. Might not mean anything. That's interesting. Okay. So if you, if you were to be more present in life and you were to live the way you want, can you just take a moment a and just and make would you feel comfortable closing your eyes for just a moment.
00:25:40:03 - 00:25:41:00
E
Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:41:02 - 00:25:57:13
Chris
Okay. Closing your eyes. And just contemplating being present in life and living the way you want.
00:25:57:15 - 00:26:32:03
Chris
And as I say, some things just allow this concept of being present and living the way you want. Just fill your mind's eye. And see what you see or don't see. Notice what you know. So don't notice. Here what you here. Feel it. You feel.
00:26:32:05 - 00:26:57:02
Chris
And allow yourself to. To feel. And. And be present right now. In your mind's eye. Living the way you want. In your mind's eye. Just allow whatever comes up to come up.
00:26:57:04 - 00:27:19:11
Chris
And in some way, shape or form. Just expand that. Build that, blow that up. Turn up the volume. Turn up the heat. Turn up the intensity. Just really feel that you are living the way you want.
00:27:19:13 - 00:27:38:04
Chris
Let me know when you can see that and feel that, and notice that in your mind's eye.
00:27:38:06 - 00:27:50:11
E
I can see it and yeah, visualise it in my mind's eye. And there's also a part of me that pops up and like puts, puts the brakes.
00:27:50:13 - 00:28:12:08
Chris
Yeah. Cool. Okay. So that part of you that's putting the brakes on. What's that part like. Is it, is it like a part of you or is it somebody else. Is it a voice? What what is that that break?
00:28:12:10 - 00:28:28:21
E
I guess it's like it doesn't have, a particular voice, but I guess it's thoughts that pop up. And maybe it's a bit of a. Anxious part or, like, apprehensive maybe.
00:28:28:23 - 00:28:36:05
Chris
Yeah.
00:28:36:07 - 00:28:57:21
Chris
Okay. I want to speak to that anxious pot. That part that's just popped up. More thoughts. Does that pot have a name?
00:28:57:23 - 00:29:05:23
E
The word like cautious is coming to mind. But other than I don't know, that doesn't fully seem accurate.
00:29:06:01 - 00:29:26:12
Chris
Yeah. It it that that that's actually really logical because that part probably doesn't think it's being cautious. But another part of you labels that as cautious. So what this other part of you has some thoughts some some anxious pots. It just pops up.
00:29:26:14 - 00:29:29:09
E
00:29:29:11 - 00:29:34:21
Chris
What would it call itself?
00:29:34:23 - 00:29:43:19
E
Maybe like realistic. Yeah. Yeah. Just yeah. Realistic comes to mind.
00:29:43:21 - 00:30:18:18
Chris
Realistic. Now, I'm sure there's another part of you that that sees this realistic pot and attaches some negativity to it. It's like, oh, there's that, there's that realistic pot. It's actually more cautious. There's that cautious pot pumping the brakes or always popping up with their thoughts, always anxious, always apprehensive. And this realistic pot.
00:30:18:20 - 00:30:24:03
Chris
Somehow, some way it wants the best for you.
00:30:24:05 - 00:30:27:13
E
00:30:27:15 - 00:30:36:09
Chris
What's the benefit of this realistic pot.
00:30:36:11 - 00:31:22:19
E
I think it's, Like a few things that are around like not overexerting yourself or like setting, the bar too high or setting a standard that, I would then have to sort of mate to then not disappoint myself or other people, or exhaust myself and yeah, I feel like I'm sort of on the go all the time, and I don't know how to just rest and just be.
00:31:22:21 - 00:31:41:21
Chris
And let's just say you can avoid disappointment. You can avoid embarrassment. You can avoid you can avoid exhaustion. What would the benefit of that be to you to avoid those things.
00:31:41:23 - 00:31:51:20
E
Well I guess the things that, uncomfortable or maybe painful at times.
00:31:51:22 - 00:32:01:12
Chris
Yeah.
00:32:01:14 - 00:32:04:12
Chris
And this part.
00:32:04:14 - 00:32:17:20
Chris
Is it protecting you from from that pain, that that uncomfortableness that that, embarrassment, that exhaustion?
00:32:17:22 - 00:32:24:01
E
Yeah, I think so.
00:32:24:03 - 00:32:34:07
Chris
In your body, where does this realistic protection part live or hang out?
00:32:34:09 - 00:32:37:13
E
And probably my shoulders. My neck.
00:32:37:15 - 00:32:44:13
Chris
Yeah.
00:32:44:15 - 00:32:54:01
Chris
Sounds like that part is carrying a lot of responsibility. Holding you, holding you safe and protected.
00:32:54:03 - 00:33:05:09
E
00:33:05:11 - 00:33:27:03
Chris
And if you could be protected, if you could be. Prevented from going down paths of disappointment and exhaustion. And pain. What would the benefit of that be.
00:33:27:05 - 00:33:30:03
Chris
What would that give you.
00:33:30:05 - 00:33:36:02
E
00:33:36:04 - 00:34:00:12
E
I don't know, like. Other than, like, avoiding stuff that I don't necessarily want to feel or have as part of my life. Yeah. I think it's just avoidance or preventing. Preventing things that I don't want.
00:34:00:14 - 00:34:14:18
Chris
And if you flip that around, avoiding and preventing things that you don't want, what is it giving you?
00:34:14:20 - 00:34:31:22
E
Like safety. You know, I, Like. Yeah. Security or like containment. Maybe.
00:34:32:00 - 00:34:37:06
Chris
Yeah.
00:34:37:08 - 00:34:51:01
Chris
Where in your life do you feel like you need more safety, security and containment? Protection.
00:34:51:03 - 00:34:59:21
E
Probably in relationships generally.
00:34:59:23 - 00:35:08:13
Chris
Yeah. Is there any any other area?
00:35:08:15 - 00:35:19:10
E
00:35:19:12 - 00:35:51:03
E
Maybe from, like, like I don't engage a lot with the news. There's just. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that, the news brings up that that feels like a lot and can feel overwhelming. So I guess it's like, just sort of protecting myself from from some of that stuff and protecting my peace.
00:35:51:05 - 00:35:58:12
Chris
Yeah. Protecting your peace.
00:35:58:14 - 00:36:17:00
Chris
What's the correlation between safety, security, containment relationships in general? Protection and peace.
00:36:17:01 - 00:36:38:00
E
I guess it's, On some level, there's a, a connection or link between relationships, and not necessarily safe or peaceful.
00:36:38:02 - 00:36:47:06
E
Well, that can be. Yeah, I think they can be fraught. And it's, stepping into.
00:36:47:08 - 00:37:12:08
E
Situations that could be challenging or upsetting or, Yeah, there's complexity there, and it's safer and more peaceful. I mean, to not engage or to hold back in some way.
00:37:12:10 - 00:37:18:03
Chris
Yeah.
00:37:18:05 - 00:37:46:14
Chris
So it sounds like this realistic part of you remember where we started off this journey, contemplating this part, this realistic part gets labelled as cautious and negative by another part of you or other parts. But then. This this cautious or realistic part, it really does sound like this is a part of you that that loves you and wants the best for you.
00:37:46:14 - 00:38:13:23
Chris
It's trying to protect you. It's trying to to to keep you safe. It's trying to keep you contained. And there's, there's things that you choose to to not engage with because there's a lot of stuff and overwhelm like news, and, and sometimes relationships can also, in your experience.
00:38:14:01 - 00:38:29:03
Chris
Not be very peaceful, safe. Environments that there's some complexity and challenges in there. A part of you wants relationships, doesn't it? Like part of you craves that.
00:38:29:03 - 00:38:31:01
E
Yeah. For sure.
00:38:31:03 - 00:38:54:15
Chris
But then that other part of you is cautious. It's realistic. It wants you to hold back not to not to engage so that you can stay peaceful. Is it anything, as I said that. Is there anything else, any sort of insights or awareness that pops up?
00:38:54:17 - 00:39:15:04
E
I guess just more aware that it, it is, a part of that's trying to help and that I generally, see it as negative or. Yeah. Describe it in more negative terms.
00:39:15:06 - 00:39:23:09
Chris
Okay.
00:39:23:11 - 00:39:52:22
Chris
All right. And if you can bring your attention to this other part of you, this other part that that wants you to do somatic practices and, have a professional experience with, with these practices and have this in your toolbox. Is this a different part to this, this cautious, realistic part?
00:39:53:00 - 00:39:54:09
E
Yeah, I think so.
00:39:54:11 - 00:40:01:20
Chris
Yeah. What what sort of part is this? Does it have a name?
00:40:01:22 - 00:40:34:15
E
I guess it's more like optimistic, and hopeful and, like, engaged, like, I don't know, the realistic, cautious part, which makes me think more of, like, pulling back. And this other part is more like forward.
00:40:34:17 - 00:41:00:21
Chris
What would the realistic part call optimistic. So optimistic might call the realistic part cautious. It's kind of like a little it's not a swear word, but it's it's not a very it's a bit of a derogatory. Gee what would what would realistic part kind of say to to this optimistic part. Do you think?
00:41:00:23 - 00:41:05:19
E
Maybe that it's.
00:41:05:21 - 00:41:19:18
E
Like naive maybe. Or like, What's the word?
00:41:19:20 - 00:41:22:21
E
Yeah. Naive. Naive comes to mind.
00:41:22:23 - 00:41:50:04
Chris
Yeah. Yeah. So it's it's a little bit, I mean, isn't it this, this optimistic part wants the best for you, as does the realistic part, but the the realistic part or the kind of says mean words to to this optimistic parts like you're not, you're naive. You're you're, you're so and so.
00:41:50:06 - 00:41:54:13
E
00:41:54:15 - 00:42:04:10
Chris
But this optimistic part feels hopeful. It feels engaged. It's it's not pulling back. It's it's moving forwards. It wants for things.
00:42:04:12 - 00:42:06:00
E
Yeah.
00:42:06:02 - 00:42:20:04
Chris
What what does that allow you when when you're hopeful and when you're engaged?
00:42:20:06 - 00:42:44:18
E
Just. Yeah, I think it allows and allows me to sort of, feel and think and act and embody, what I want, or how I want to be, to get the most out of life.
00:42:44:20 - 00:43:09:12
Chris
Yeah. Here we go. So. Yeah. And so this part allows you to feel and think and act and embody what I want and how I want to be. And the benefit of that. What do you get out of that is. Well, I get the most out of life. And what's the benefit of getting the most out of life?
00:43:09:14 - 00:43:22:08
E
That, you know, making the most of the the limited time that you have, the one shot that you've got.
00:43:22:10 - 00:43:29:00
Chris
Yeah. And if you thought about where this.
00:43:29:02 - 00:43:39:20
Chris
Where this part lives in your body. This. I want to get the most out of life. I, I've got one shot, and it's a limited time.
00:43:39:22 - 00:43:41:00
E
And.
00:43:41:02 - 00:43:54:19
Chris
I want to feel and think and embody and act how I want. I want to be intentional. You didn't say that. That was a Chris word, but I want to. I want to have what I want.
00:43:54:21 - 00:43:55:10
E
00:43:55:12 - 00:44:04:02
Chris
Where does that part live in you. Or hang out?
00:44:04:04 - 00:44:26:12
E
I think it's more like in my chest or like my diaphragm, because sometimes it is, a bit of, like, constriction at the top of my chest and in my throat. But this feels a bit more like lower down.
00:44:26:14 - 00:44:34:09
Chris
Okay.
00:44:34:11 - 00:45:12:22
Chris
And we didn't do this for the for the other part. But if you were to put your hand just where, where you feel like this part, this optimistic part is or or or usually is like in your chest or diaphragm kind of area. And just imagine. And see in your mind's eye this is hope, this engagement, this feeling and thinking and acting authentically, intentionally getting the most out of your life.
00:45:13:00 - 00:45:21:08
Chris
With this one shot, with this limited time.
00:45:21:10 - 00:45:38:04
Chris
What does that feel like for you emotionally when you think about having that and being that?
00:45:38:06 - 00:45:48:16
E
Feels like pleasant and,
00:45:48:18 - 00:45:57:06
E
Like, I don't know, like grounded or,
00:45:57:08 - 00:46:28:01
E
Like less, I guess, like, more relaxed. It's not like, tense or, you know, just sort of like, or that and, like, just.
00:46:28:03 - 00:46:37:19
Chris
00:46:37:21 - 00:47:00:07
Chris
And if you could feel more pleasant and if you could feel more grounded, less tense, more relaxed, you can breathe out. Oh, what would that allow you to have?
00:47:00:09 - 00:47:15:09
E
I guess we'll. More peace or.
00:47:15:11 - 00:47:30:23
E
Maybe more clarity. More confidence. More joy.
00:47:31:01 - 00:47:44:22
E
00:47:45:00 - 00:48:04:07
Chris
Notice that both the optimistic part and the realistic part, they actually both want you to have peace. The realistic part. Was really trying to protect that. And the optimistic part was trying to get that wasn't it.
00:48:04:09 - 00:48:07:17
E
Yeah.
00:48:07:19 - 00:48:53:15
Chris
If you could have some sort of way of doing this, it might not make sense logically, but some sort of way that that your chest and your shoulders. And did you say your neck as well? If your shoulders and your chest and your neck, if there could be some sort of movement or rubbing or padding or, bracing or brushing or some sort of movement with your hand that could simulate these two just kind of moving around your body instead of staying stuck in this spot just over the next minute or so, just while I talk, just allow your hands to, simulate this, this energy moving, like, from chest, shoulders, neck.
00:48:53:16 - 00:49:33:07
Chris
Just see what feels nice. Just intuitively allowing your hands to, to move that energy might be big movements, like a brushing along your neck or your or your shoulders. Yeah, just just visualise that you're giving love and attention. Intention. You're noticing you're focusing on on these parts. This realistic part, it really does love you. It really wants the best for you.
00:49:33:09 - 00:49:43:08
Chris
And as you touch that part of you, you give it some energy. You give it some notice.
00:49:43:10 - 00:49:59:13
Chris
What can you say to that part of you out loud that would allow it to to know that you hear it. You know it wants the best for you.
00:49:59:15 - 00:50:21:02
E
And maybe, like I see, I see what you're trying to do or I recognise your your role.
00:50:21:04 - 00:50:32:16
Chris
Yeah. And what would that realistic part want to to give to the optimistic part?
00:50:32:18 - 00:50:35:06
E
00:50:35:08 - 00:50:59:02
E
I guess, like, maybe a bit of, A bit of caution or, like. Like, go, go forth and do that and engage in that. Just don't get completely swept up in it.
00:50:59:04 - 00:51:04:01
Chris
Because.
00:51:04:03 - 00:51:12:09
E
Because.
00:51:12:11 - 00:51:26:04
E
I don't know, part of it is like, you still have to brace yourself in some way. Or you can't just look at everything with rose coloured glasses.
00:51:26:06 - 00:51:43:06
E
And you're like, there is going to be pain and hurt. Because life is messy and being human is complicated. So, you can't just go ahead and pretend that that stuff won't happen.
00:51:43:08 - 00:52:03:08
Chris
Yeah. And now allow the optimistic part to to bring some energy and and attention and words to the realistic part. What would the optimistic part want to say or, or give the realistic part?
00:52:03:09 - 00:52:43:22
E
I guess probably I'm saying like, you know, I'm optimistic about deluded. Like, I can keep that stuff in mind. Like, it's not it's not that black and white. So I'll be mindful of that stuff, you know, way that helps me. Like, have gratitude and appreciation for things. Not just take stuff for granted or, yeah, just view of everything when I sort of toxic positivity way.
00:52:44:00 - 00:52:57:21
Chris
Beautiful. And if you could allow both these offers, the optimistic part of you that's not deluded, is it?
00:52:57:23 - 00:52:59:13
E
No.
00:52:59:15 - 00:53:31:11
Chris
It it wants to be mindful. It knows that life's not black and white. It can't keep that in mind. It doesn't want to keep things. Or take things for granted. It doesn't want to have toxic positivity. And the other part, it can engage. It can, immerse with stuff, with life in relationships. It just has a degree of caution, a bit of caution.
00:53:31:13 - 00:54:28:05
Chris
It, you know, not everything is, you know, life is messy. It's it's complicated. You can't pretend that things won't happen. Can't see everything through rose coloured glasses. But I think that both of these two parts can come together and form something beautiful and merge and have a pace, can't they? If you were to allow that energy to move somewhere in your body that that that represents a merging or an integration of of these two parts where they can come together optimistic and realistic and allow them to come together with all the best attributes of each, so that they can both have the best of intentions for you.
00:54:28:07 - 00:54:37:07
Chris
Where do you think this new pot can live in your body?
00:54:37:09 - 00:54:54:17
E
I like visualising it or feeling it as like, yeah, when you like it, like in my diaphragm. And then like my mid-back. Like it's something that's like through through my abdomen. Does that make sense?
00:54:54:20 - 00:55:26:06
Chris
Yeah, that sounds cool. So if you could bring some energy and intention, some attention to that and imagine the joining the, the merging, the integrating, the combining of of these two parts, the optimistic and the realistic part. And what does it become? What's this new diaphragm? Back living part. What's what's its name?
00:55:26:08 - 00:55:29:07
E
The word authentic is coming to mind.
00:55:29:09 - 00:55:35:16
Chris
Beautiful.
00:55:35:18 - 00:55:49:17
Chris
And if you have a think about being authentic. There's a benefit to to being authentic.
00:55:49:19 - 00:55:52:18
E
00:55:52:20 - 00:56:00:13
Chris
What's the benefit of being authentic?
00:56:00:15 - 00:56:12:19
E
So I guess it's living, mindfully and meaningfully.
00:56:12:21 - 00:56:36:13
E
Yeah. Experiencing, the whole range of what life has to offer and what comes with being here. And it's, Yeah, the for the full range of, of all of that, being connected and feeling all of that.
00:56:36:14 - 00:56:54:15
Chris
Yeah. Beautiful. Does that sound like something that you want to, to embody and and to embrace and and have in your life?
00:56:54:17 - 00:56:57:15
E
Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:57:17 - 00:57:02:10
Chris
Cool.
00:57:02:12 - 00:57:27:01
Chris
And when you feel like you're ready for a come, come back to, come back to here, come back to the room and and may open your eyes.
00:57:27:02 - 00:57:30:21
Chris
How is that?
00:57:30:23 - 00:57:52:13
E
That was good. I done that kind of, that kind of visualisation or, connecting with those with different parts in that way before, and I think I'm more able to kind of, step into that and engage with that than I think I am. Yeah.
00:57:52:15 - 00:57:58:06
Chris
Yeah. It seemed that way to me.
00:57:58:08 - 00:58:01:15
E
00:58:01:17 - 00:58:24:09
Chris
We started off looking at the benefit of doing somatic practices, and then we changed lanes to it was clearly in a conflict going on. You had a part of you wanted this, but a part of you wanted that. That's exhausting.
00:58:24:11 - 00:58:25:13
E
00:58:25:14 - 00:58:51:02
Chris
All conflict is exhausting. Every single conflict, whether it be a war where, where people, shoot and, and hurt each other or whether it be a conflict in a relationship and people hurt each other emotionally or physically or parts of us that say mean things.
00:58:51:04 - 00:58:52:01
E
Yeah.
00:58:52:03 - 00:59:07:18
Chris
It's exhausting. Exhaust resources. Your in your in your notes. You wrote about how exhausted and fatigued you can you can get sometimes or.
00:59:07:20 - 00:59:26:14
Chris
I through my experience with, with fatigue. You can take supplements. You can take you can do treatment plans all this sort of stuff. But if you've got in a conflict, if you've got parts that are in conflict with each other.
00:59:26:16 - 00:59:26:23
E
00:59:27:04 - 00:59:30:10
Chris
You you can't out swap that.
00:59:30:12 - 00:59:31:05
E
Yeah.
00:59:31:06 - 00:59:34:22
Chris
Yeah, yeah.
00:59:35:00 - 00:59:38:04
E
00:59:38:06 - 01:00:08:13
Chris
So I think there's, there's Sometimes I give homework to, to my, my coaching clients. I could probably hand you a little bit of hand you a bit of homework to, of contemplation. I we, we got through one one quadrant in out Cartesian logic. There's, and we found a conflict. So there is a benefit to doing somatic practices.
01:00:08:13 - 01:00:28:06
Chris
Let me share my screen with you. My writing is really small now. So there's benefit of doing the somatic practices. There's also a benefit to not doing somatic practices. And we highlighted that with the conflict that was happening in you.
01:00:28:08 - 01:00:29:14
E
01:00:29:16 - 01:00:59:17
Chris
So, so, a bit of homework could be just writing down some of the insights that you have that you can remember. And then there's like a cost, there's a real energy cost of doing this somatic practices. It's it's an investment. It's, what I just bought some stuff from Anaconda today, and I paid money for it, so there was a cost for those things.
01:00:59:18 - 01:01:24:22
Chris
My wife would probably think that I didn't need to make that purchase. I think it would make more sense to do it, so I did, because she's at work and she can stop me. And so there's a cost to doing some of these somatic practices. Part of you might think that's a good idea, but another part of you might just be not on board with it.
01:01:25:00 - 01:01:25:16
E
01:01:25:18 - 01:01:37:07
Chris
But then there's a cost to to not doing these somatic practices. There's if you don't do them, it's going to cost you this. This is going to be the, the, the negative.
01:01:37:08 - 01:01:39:20
E
01:01:39:22 - 01:01:49:20
Chris
Would you be up for, for, for doing, doing a little bit of post session reflection and filling in some quadrants.
01:01:49:22 - 01:01:51:11
E
Yeah, yeah for sure.
01:01:51:13 - 01:02:03:19
Chris
Cool. After week after I press, stop on the recording, I'll give you my email address and you can send, send me, send me your insights if you like. And.
01:02:03:21 - 01:02:04:03
E
Yeah.
01:02:04:03 - 01:02:08:11
Chris
So play email tennis a couple of times.
01:02:08:12 - 01:02:09:20
E
Yeah. Sounds good.
01:02:09:22 - 01:02:26:16
Chris
Nice. Cool. So do you have any questions or anything? Any insights that you'd like to to bring up?
01:02:26:18 - 01:02:44:05
E
I think, yeah. What you sort of summarise or said at the end of that, that conflict is, is tiring. Yeah. That kind of resonated. Yeah.
01:02:44:07 - 01:03:11:06
Chris
This is this is what you said at the start. You didn't really have a goal, but you wanted to understand new, my notes. I sometimes don't write good English in my notes. Understanding or new perspective about the way I'm stuck or blocked. Doing the things that, helpful for me. Do you do you feel like we move towards that?
01:03:11:11 - 01:03:15:02
Chris
You know, and I'll coaching call today?
01:03:15:03 - 01:03:16:11
E
Yeah. For sure.
01:03:16:13 - 01:03:34:11
Chris
That's sweet. Cool. All right. Is there any other final, final things you wanted to to bring up or discuss at all?
01:03:34:13 - 01:03:48:06
E
No. I think it's stuff that I. Yeah, I'll sit with and reflect, write some stuff down and, just be with for a bit and let it percolate. Yeah, yeah.
01:03:48:08 - 01:04:30:04
Chris
Cool. I think as you, you can't have a good relationship, any sort of relationship where there's conflict, professional, political, romantic and, it sounds like you did have in the past. You did have a bit of conflict in, in you. And so as you contemplate and reflect on on this new authentic part of you, and you allow it to move through, you like, like what you envision.
01:04:30:06 - 01:04:32:17
E
01:04:34:05 - 01:04:42:17
Chris
That will allow you to live mindfully, meaningfully, have to have some purpose. I think that sounds pretty cool in my opinion.
01:04:42:19 - 01:04:45:19
E
Yeah, yeah for sure.
01:04:45:21 - 01:05:03:06
Chris
All right. Well, stay on the line. I'm just going to press and recording and I wish everybody who's followed along with us, the best day ever. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you have a great day. And, catch you next time.
01:05:03:08 - 01:05:13:10
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
01:05:13:12 - 01:05:31:19
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Buddy Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group or one on one ending buddy burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
