00:00:03:08 - 00:00:17:20
Chris
Hello and welcome to the Ending Body Burnout Show. We are your host Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi-award winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues. While busyness.
00:00:17:20 - 00:00:25:01
Filly
Addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm, it's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:02 - 00:00:38:07
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplement hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:08 - 00:00:46:13
Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:14 - 00:00:55:16
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:55:18 - 00:01:23:00
Filly
Hello! We've got a really special episode for you today. It is one of my favourite type of episodes where we get to interview and learn from one of our clients, Virginia Walker, all about her healing journey. So Virginia has been a client with us inside our ending body burnout method for about a year now, and she also recently attended our very first retreat, The Body Knows.
00:01:23:00 - 00:01:58:09
Filly
So she openly and honestly shares what her healing journey has looked like for her. When she first came to work with us, she was struggling with a lot of body pain, a lot of inflammation, sleep issues, food intolerances, allergies, gut issues, all the works. And she has come such a long way. One really outstanding thing that has changed for her is she is sleeping like a baby, which she would talk about in the podcast.
00:01:58:11 - 00:02:31:00
Filly
She did mention that she has a sleep score of over 90 now, and sometimes some nights even at 100, which is amazing. But majority of our conversation today is really diving into what her experience was like at our retreat. And I think the big, clear message that kept coming through in the conversation was that her body, specifically the back pain that really flared up before the retreat, was saying, let go, let go, let go, surrender.
00:02:31:02 - 00:03:02:04
Filly
Let's be slow, let's rest, let's be more graceful, more feminine, more being. And she shares a really pivotal moment where she did let go and the pain in her back dissipated. So I know you're going to really love this episode. I do love hearing from our clients, and I love you guys hearing from our clients most specifically because it is a really powerful form of evidence collecting.
00:03:02:04 - 00:03:26:01
Filly
So when you're on your own healing journey, it can feel really isolating. You can feel alone. Sometimes you can feel like it's not working for you. Evidence collecting will speed your healing up, and one form of evidence collecting is hearing from other people. Around changes, transformations, progression and healing that they have experienced and how they've done it.
00:03:26:02 - 00:04:02:14
Filly
So big gratitude to Virginia for sharing her journey with us today on the episode. If you love What you hear, we are opening our doors to our Ending Body Burnout Method program next month in October, which is super exciting. So that is our longer form program, where we really dive deep into physical healing through lab testing, therapeutic protocols, and we're also working deep on holistic root causes at a metaphysical level.
00:04:02:14 - 00:04:24:21
Filly
So you can check out the program down below in the show notes. And we have also got more retreats on the horizon. So if you're like, oh, I'd love to come along to Chris and Phyllis, one of Chris and Phyllis healing retreats in a beautiful place in the world where the land and nature does part of the transforming for you.
00:04:24:23 - 00:04:52:17
Filly
Check out the link below. We do have a wait list. Depending on when this goes live, we might actually have the retreats open for booking. But anyway, check the link below. You'll either jump on the wait list to express your interest, or it may take you straight to our future retreats. Coming up, I'm going to be calling these retreats Travel Medicine.
00:04:52:19 - 00:05:34:13
Filly
Because some amazing things can happen when you get outside of your everyday life, out of your environment, travel with like minded people and gather together in nature and you know, with the intention to heal and transform. Magic can happen for you. It is medicine. Okay, before we jump into the episode, I do want to also share Virginia's professional bio because she is an incredible woman and you will hear through her words, the wisdom and the years of personal transformation and entrepreneurship transformation as well.
00:05:34:13 - 00:06:01:22
Filly
And so if you are listening and you are someone who is in the business world or leadership world, you definitely want to connect with Virginia. So Virginia's passion is enabling workplaces where people thrive. This passion was ignited at the age of 16, when her first job as a trainee accountant transformed her life, blending experience gained through more than two decades in blue chip executive roles.
00:06:01:22 - 00:06:55:21
Filly
Turn around CEO of a 400 person not for profit and her own coaching and mentoring business, Virginia brings an abundance of valuable tools and insights to assist her clients. She is an experienced facilitator, mentor, and speaker, drawing on her treasure chest of stories and experience to empower those who wish to achieve success for themselves and their teams. Virginia especially loves supporting women, wanting to lead more confidently, and we do share some moments during the retreat where Virginia held space for other people, for other women younger than her, in the retreat, and just the beautiful way that, that it wasn't just Chris and I supporting our people at the retreat, but it was collectively, everyone
00:06:55:21 - 00:07:04:23
Filly
holding space for each other, and it was so beautiful. Okay, let's dive into today's episode.
00:07:05:01 - 00:07:18:04
Chris
G'day, guys, and welcome to this episode of the Ending Body Burnout Show. Filly and I have a guest on today's show bringing you into the room. Hello, Virginia Walker, welcome.
00:07:18:06 - 00:07:21:07
Virginia
Pleasure to be here. Lovely to see you two again.
00:07:21:10 - 00:07:22:18
Chris
Yay!
00:07:22:20 - 00:07:42:19
Filly
We love Virginia. She has worked with us inside the ending Woody burnout method. And also recently came along to our first retreat. The Body Knows. So we really wanted to dive into your experience in the retreat.
00:07:42:21 - 00:07:43:18
Virginia
Of course.
00:07:43:19 - 00:08:09:17
Filly
Which is super exciting. So before before we get into that, though, I think it'd be really lovely for people to hear a bit more about you, who you are. That is a big question. You can go philosophical or kind of like the title. What you do like, especially in the business mentoring world. And I guess how you found Chris and I as well.
00:08:09:18 - 00:08:16:13
Virginia
Okay, so lots of lots of questions in there. So I.
00:08:16:14 - 00:08:38:06
Virginia
I do define myself or having define myself to this point of my life primarily in a work from a work perspective. And part of that is because I left school at 16 and started work then, and that job changed my life for the better. So I started working with a group of Chad, a firm of chartered accountants in the City of London.
00:08:38:07 - 00:09:08:14
Virginia
Not the most likely place to have a revolution in your life, but, but it was a beautiful environment. I learnt, I grew, I had fun, and I learnt what it was like to be me. And so it was a very special time, and I took that experience into the rest of my working well. I always looked to create environments where people thrived, and I loved that learning and growing and sharing what you knew and having people share with you.
00:09:08:16 - 00:09:32:21
Virginia
So that mentoring world that I experienced at that age has never left me. And so that's what I look to do. I particularly like working with business owners and executives, where they're trying to find how to be themselves and have teams that do what they want and not lose themselves in the middle of that world while producing a business outcome.
00:09:32:21 - 00:09:51:11
Virginia
And, you know, obviously starting work at 16, I've got decades, decades of experience of doing some of it right and a lot of it wrong. And as we know, we learn a lot from what we do wrong, not just what we do right. So I love sharing that knowledge with others.
00:09:51:13 - 00:09:58:01
Filly
I love that, and I can see the book behind you, The Truth About Transformation. That's the book that you wrote.
00:09:58:02 - 00:10:31:08
Virginia
It's a it's a broken. Yes. It's it's getting on a bit now. So it was it's very much my, the, the learnings I had from my corporate world. And so that's, that's what that's about it. It really talks to that experience of being in what a it's often a very toxic environment and huge expectations of how change should work and how how I, how I navigated my way through that and learnt along the way.
00:10:31:10 - 00:10:55:14
Virginia
The next book, which is, you know, in here and partially in draft form, is what I learned since then, which which covers much more about a personal journey of of understanding self and and balancing masculine and feminine.
00:10:55:15 - 00:11:20:03
Filly
Cool. I'm so sure we're going to talk more about all of that in this conversation. So if we went back a little bit before the retreat, I guess even before you started the ending body burnout method, just do some context to then as we go into the retreat, what were some of the main problems that you were having that you were seeking support and solutions for?
00:11:20:05 - 00:11:41:20
Virginia
Yeah, there's one bit I didn't answer, which I think is relevant to this, is that while I was learning how to run my own business, that's how I came across you guys as part of the Key Person of Influence program. And so I really liked your ethos about life and about how things work. And so stayed in touch with that.
00:11:41:22 - 00:12:08:09
Virginia
So as I, as I was progressing along my world and getting more and more physical symptoms that I couldn't manage, you know, I'd sort of I was. I'm I'm a pretty active person. And I was having always prioritised that to a, to a reasonable extent, you know, never one of the ones that said, no, I'll give up exercise because I don't have time.
00:12:08:09 - 00:12:37:13
Virginia
I always found time to do something. And so when all these physical symptoms were just mounting up, like it started off with hip pain, back pain, shoulder, then it then it's I've I've had food intolerance issues for many decades. And then I started getting other symptoms in all of them whenever I, you know, googled them or investigated them.
00:12:37:13 - 00:13:09:15
Virginia
It's like this is chronic inflammation. And and I knew that my love of wine to unwind was probably a little on the enthusiastic side. And so therefore, and therefore there was definitely room to move away from that, particularly as everything said, inflammation. And as we know, alcohol. One of those favourites, including in in in causing inflammation in the body.
00:13:09:18 - 00:13:35:10
Virginia
And so I felt I needed help to to do that. And I needed a holistic approach because I knew I was perfectly capable of giving up alcohol. Problem is, I didn't really want to, and I didn't really equate getting a good result with giving it up. But I knew enough about your method. I think by that time I read your book and, you know, watched a few podcasts and I'm like, I think this is where I need to go for help.
00:13:35:11 - 00:13:42:11
Virginia
Yeah. And so, yeah, so that's what I did and and never regretted it.
00:13:42:12 - 00:14:02:11
Filly
Yay. Been so fun working with you and then with the retreat because this came, I don't know, like a few months or maybe six months or something down the track. What was what was the the what caused you to book into the Body Noise retreat?
00:14:02:13 - 00:14:07:08
Virginia
Actually, over a year since I started working. I started working with you in May last year.
00:14:07:10 - 00:14:08:04
Filly
Time flies.
00:14:08:04 - 00:14:10:04
Virginia
So it's a good time flies.
00:14:10:04 - 00:14:48:11
Virginia
When you're having fun. I went from the very moment you mentioned them, like, oh yes, just spoke to me immediately. I love Tasmania, my partner and I, we love Tasmania. So that was easy one and I just felt right. Just it just felt right. It felt that, you know, the work we done together. And after a year, many of the things that I was experiencing, particularly sleep, because when we started working together, my sleep was pretty shocking was, yeah, there was a lot of managing the impact of not sleeping well.
00:14:48:17 - 00:15:05:23
Virginia
And so by, you know, after probably in the first six months, that all started to shift enormously. And in fact, I can report as of this morning, last night my sleep school, according to my iPhone, was 100. Perfect score.
00:15:06:01 - 00:15:06:21
Chris
Whoa.
00:15:06:23 - 00:15:07:20
Filly
That's awesome.
00:15:07:21 - 00:15:08:22
Virginia
Dustin on.
00:15:08:23 - 00:15:12:10
Virginia
Just in honour of this podcast.
00:15:12:12 - 00:15:14:17
Filly
Your subconscious mind is like I.
00:15:14:19 - 00:15:18:22
Virginia
Know, hundreds and.
00:15:19:00 - 00:15:25:15
Filly
That is so cool. I don't know if there are many people that can say their sleep score is 100.
00:15:25:17 - 00:15:35:00
Virginia
No it's not. It's not every night. But I'm frequently score in the 90s, which is, you know, game game changing.
00:15:35:02 - 00:15:36:07
Filly
So cool.
00:15:36:09 - 00:15:41:09
Virginia
And so and so yes, the body does know and all.
00:15:41:10 - 00:15:41:21
Virginia
The.
00:15:42:03 - 00:16:09:00
Virginia
All the symptoms that I have was saying, okay, there needs to be some lifestyle changes. There needs to be some, some more work in, in terms of the belief systems that I have and had have and and don't stop. And so the idea of being able to do that in person over a few days was very, very appealing.
00:16:09:02 - 00:16:31:04
Filly
It was so special. I've actually putting together some notes to do a podcast, just Chris and I kind of like from my personal experience and his and I think one of them was like, we work with clients online all over Australia, some people even internationally as well, and it was just so lovely being able to give you a cuddle in person.
00:16:31:05 - 00:16:55:19
Filly
And there were there were some moments as well, you know, just talking in small groups where just like sounds weird, but holding each other, kind of like, you know, when when there was a moment where another woman kind of needed to be held either like emotionally or physically in that moment, you can't do that on the screen.
00:16:55:19 - 00:17:01:02
Filly
And so that was really lovely. To be able to share space with you.
00:17:01:04 - 00:17:01:15
Virginia
Was,
00:17:01:16 - 00:17:06:08
Virginia
Yes, I remember reaching out to one of the ladies there and just totally games.
00:17:06:09 - 00:17:08:13
Filly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:08:16 - 00:17:09:10
Virginia
I see.
00:17:09:14 - 00:17:54:07
Filly
Yeah. And it was, it was beautiful. And I mean we'll go into it right now because I'm feeling it. But something that I loved about my experience of you at the retreat as well was because you have got decades of lived experience and being on your own transformational journey in different aspects, you know, from business and then, you know, into the personal, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual is that you, your light shine, and for other people who are not as advanced in the journey as you are, so much wisdom that you are able to share.
00:17:54:07 - 00:18:21:03
Filly
And that's what I really loved about the retreat as well. It wasn't just Chris or I or, you know, we had a couple of other facilitators come in to facilitate different practices and workshops, but it was like the collective wisdom from everyone that was there that I couldn't have done alone. So I just want to say thank you so much for showing up as your beautiful self with all the wisdom that you have.
00:18:21:03 - 00:18:28:21
Filly
And I really know that there were some women that really needed your wisdom in different points in time.
00:18:28:23 - 00:18:29:10
Virginia
Thank you.
00:18:29:11 - 00:18:30:05
Virginia
That's beautiful.
00:18:30:06 - 00:18:31:09
Filly
Yeah, beautiful.
00:18:31:13 - 00:18:36:12
Virginia
I was it's it's such a reminder that as humans, that's what we're meant to do.
00:18:36:13 - 00:18:37:20
Virginia
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:37:22 - 00:19:02:11
Virginia
It's just just like. So when I, you know, when I reflect on the concept of mentoring, it's what's been done for millennia. It's like it actually what we're meant to do as humans. You know, you look at First Nations people, they have elders. Yeah. You know, they have they have. When young men are growing up, they're taken away by the adult men to show them how to be.
00:19:02:11 - 00:19:29:10
Virginia
Then, I mean, it's like, hello, have we learned nothing? We learnt nothing about how how we are. We designed as humans. We we see it in the animal world. We see it like. Like, why do we think we're different to that? I don't I don't understand it. So my own experience, as you heard is, has always been that, that that's that he learned from others.
00:19:29:10 - 00:19:36:20
Virginia
And you pass on what you learn. It's an essential part of being human.
00:19:36:22 - 00:19:43:11
Filly
And you're really good at not just telling people or like talking, but when when you.
00:19:43:11 - 00:19:44:19
Virginia
Talk, that's the coach, that's.
00:19:44:19 - 00:19:46:21
Virginia
The coaching training.
00:19:46:23 - 00:19:49:10
Virginia
The coaching change. You don't tell.
00:19:49:12 - 00:19:50:11
Virginia
You don't tell people.
00:19:50:11 - 00:20:14:04
Filly
But it's also like your your energy and your heart. You wear it on your sleeve. And I think that that's what helps people to feel really connected, not just with you, but also with themselves when it's like, I see you, and then it gives them permission to actually feel that from someone else, for them to then feel it themselves.
00:20:14:06 - 00:20:14:14
Filly
Yeah.
00:20:14:15 - 00:20:15:00
Virginia
I think.
00:20:15:01 - 00:20:15:21
Virginia
You know, it's that I.
00:20:15:21 - 00:20:43:20
Virginia
Mean, you're, you know, obviously you're very strongly in the parenting world. And, you know, what I learnt about parenting was enormously useful as a leader of people. Like it was more useful. I used to joke that I'll bring my parenting books into work, and I take my negotiation books home. That's how it works, right? And and the parent, the the the thing about parenting is about to tell.
00:20:43:21 - 00:21:08:09
Virginia
No child does what you tell them. If it's not, you know, if it's not. I mean, there's some things that where you have to draw the line, but they have to be few and far between. Otherwise it loses strength, it loses power. But when you show them, when you help them understand, that is when you get the that's when you get the shift, that's when you get the learning.
00:21:08:11 - 00:21:32:07
Virginia
And so I learned I have very I have a very, have an only daughter, like an only child. So she had and she has a very strong sense of self out the womb, very strong sense of self. She was never someone to tell. It was someone to show or, or learn with. And so that was incredibly useful.
00:21:32:07 - 00:21:54:22
Virginia
And I find that that is the most powerful thing to do with any other person, really. If I want to get a message across, it's how do I understand where they're coming from? Because otherwise, how do I know what's going to make sense? How how do I explain something if I don't know their context? Yeah.
00:21:54:23 - 00:21:57:03
Virginia
How do I.
00:21:57:05 - 00:22:16:10
Virginia
Show another way if I don't understand? I have a little diagram I use, I go we're always explaining as humans how to get from A to B. You know, there's this an assumption you're at A and that's where you're going. So if you explain that you'll go they're going what if they're at sea. Then nowhere near a.
00:22:16:12 - 00:22:16:20
Virginia
Yeah.
00:22:16:21 - 00:22:23:18
Virginia
Can I find a way of getting to see. And then you go, oh, from here now I can see a different way of getting to be.
00:22:23:19 - 00:22:53:04
Filly
Yes, yes. So good. Did you. This might not be relevant to you. I know it is. For many other women that came to the retreat, did you feel like you had to break through any blocks or, you know, when it's like, I'd really love to do that. I'm feeling called to it, but like, were there any buts or anything that you had to move through, even if it was just a conversation with self to be able to say yes to yourself into the three days at the body knows.
00:22:53:05 - 00:22:58:01
Virginia
I was all in.
00:22:58:03 - 00:22:59:05
Filly
It's like I'm there.
00:22:59:08 - 00:23:04:09
Virginia
I was all over the get go. Actually, no, that's not strictly true.
00:23:04:09 - 00:23:21:09
Virginia
I guess the interesting thing is the decision I did have to that I did it with for a little bit is do I ask my partner? And is that if I ask him, where's that coming from?
00:23:21:11 - 00:23:22:10
Filly
Yes.
00:23:22:12 - 00:23:23:07
Virginia
So that was an.
00:23:23:07 - 00:23:49:02
Virginia
Interesting question. And so so we have we have a very open relationship and in terms of those sorts of conversations. So I can actually say this is where I'm thinking, but this is what I'm kind of hung up about and let's talk about it. And so, you know, he loves Tasmania too, right? So it was pretty easy from that because of where you held it.
00:23:49:02 - 00:24:06:06
Virginia
Easy. Easy because. Yeah because amazing. And all of the all of the greenery that's around there. So the you know living living in Queensland only the beach is beautiful. But the one thing we miss is just lots of green. Yeah.
00:24:06:07 - 00:24:07:01
Virginia
And so.
00:24:07:07 - 00:24:24:16
Virginia
So that was easy to sort of say okay well if you don't want to come there's going to be lots of green, but I'm going to be doing my own thing. So if you come you'll be going to do you're going to be doing your own thing too. And, and and so we agreed that was the thing. And we you know, now we go how cool was that?
00:24:24:17 - 00:24:30:15
Virginia
How amazing was that? Yeah. So that worked out well. So that was the little was a little wrinkled.
00:24:30:17 - 00:24:42:16
Filly
So it was so for you. Was it less around asking for permission and more around if I want to bring my partner along with me. How does this work for both of us? Is that. Yes. Yeah.
00:24:42:16 - 00:24:43:09
Virginia
Yeah yeah.
00:24:43:10 - 00:24:49:15
Virginia
Yeah and. Yeah. Yes. Is it going to work and and how would it work.
00:24:49:16 - 00:24:50:02
Virginia
Yeah.
00:24:50:03 - 00:24:53:22
Filly
Yeah. And you made it work. So happy days.
00:24:54:00 - 00:24:59:15
Virginia
I was really lovely. He's like thank you so much. That was so amazing.
00:24:59:17 - 00:25:00:07
Virginia
Yes.
00:25:00:07 - 00:25:04:11
Filly
He probably got to spend a lot more time in the hot tub compared to.
00:25:04:11 - 00:25:09:20
Virginia
You know, you know, he's he's a big, he explored the caves and.
00:25:09:21 - 00:25:10:14
Virginia
Yes.
00:25:10:15 - 00:25:31:11
Virginia
And all. And there's some kind of forest walks he like, just. And he loves those. He goes. My resting heart rate dropped to 48 on that wall. I was like, that's one happy.
00:25:31:13 - 00:25:35:20
Virginia
I'm sure it's.
00:25:35:22 - 00:25:39:11
Filly
Nature is medicine 100%.
00:25:39:12 - 00:25:41:07
Virginia
100%.
00:25:41:09 - 00:25:58:03
Filly
What key insights did you have about like either your body, yourself or your life? And can you pinpoint when that started coming to the surface?
00:25:58:05 - 00:26:38:18
Virginia
So I guess I, I turned up to retreat with really bad back pain and hip pain. I've had similar before, but not like that. It was. It was pretty bad and I was like, okay, my body's telling me something. And so I found it. I found it very challenging that I couldn't work out what that was. So I was really thinking, oh, at some point in this, like my money was on the, the breathwork or the sound bath, I'm like, yes, but not really, not really.
00:26:38:18 - 00:27:08:21
Virginia
And, and so it really got to that last morning when we were moving around outside and I'm like, not this. I just need to lie down. And as I lay down on the grass and just let everything go like that, pain was completely gone. Gone at that moment. You know, at that moment it was just my body was absolutely fine and like, let go, to let go.
00:27:08:23 - 00:27:34:21
Virginia
I just it is what it is and I guess so I've reflected I mean it's still there, the issues are still there. But what I came away from the retreat with is that I'm no spring chicken. These things are going to happen. How. And I wrote in my in my journal, can I be on my own side when my body isn't happy?
00:27:34:23 - 00:27:49:20
Virginia
When it said no, you've overdone the physical because I can I can go back and I can look at or I did this and I didn't do this, and I didn't do this, and I did this thing and, you know, so there's this sequence of thing when you go, yeah. And your body goes, no way too much, way too much.
00:27:49:21 - 00:28:19:14
Virginia
So can I be on my own side when that happens? And actually not for an over complicated reason and just go, yes, your body's just asking to be quieter and for you to recognise things earlier and not keep pushing through when. So I was talking to one of the ladies I worked with. She's she's a Pilates instructor, but one of those people, that's way more than that.
00:28:19:16 - 00:28:40:01
Virginia
You know what I call the body whisperers and the, you know, the kind of body mechanic whisperers. And they could kind of. Yeah, she's special lady. And so she said, okay, so what happened, you know, before then and what happened before then and what was the first sign I got my foot hurt goes, well, here we go. So the next time.
00:28:40:02 - 00:28:43:22
Virginia
Your foot place up. Deal with that.
00:28:44:00 - 00:28:45:08
Virginia
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:45:11 - 00:28:59:22
Virginia
Don't pushing through till it's like, oh now the back, now the. Now the foot, now the hip, now the back. Now the everything. Okay. So yes. Notice the pay attention.
00:29:00:00 - 00:29:23:13
Filly
Yes. And that's I mean that's a big thing that we teach on a deeper level inside the ending body burn out method program. But for listeners just so that there's some context around the signals sometimes. Yeah, the body will speak to you. There's always wisdom, even if it's annoying and painful, and you don't want it to be there.
00:29:23:14 - 00:29:50:19
Filly
But there's like so much love underneath the message. Really just trying to help you to be more in alignment with self, to rest, to recover, to find joy. Whatever it is for that person, it's going to be different for everyone. And my experience is like this is personally but also working with many clients is that sometimes when you get the message, the symptom switches off and it's.
00:29:50:20 - 00:29:51:19
Virginia
Off.
00:29:51:21 - 00:30:08:05
Filly
And then other times you get the message and you have like a like, that's so amazing that lying down on the ground, it's like, I feel no pain. You know, that's a pretty clear signal that your body and unconscious mind is like, yes, the ginger.
00:30:08:06 - 00:30:08:18
Virginia
Gets it.
00:30:08:18 - 00:30:33:18
Filly
Now she's listening. So I'm going to give her a signal so that she knows that, that this is where she needs to move forward to and how she needs to be. And sometimes the symptom turns on back on. And I see that because that's happened to me, too. Like, I've had some experiences where I have switched off symptoms and they're gone and it feels like a miracle.
00:30:33:18 - 00:30:56:01
Filly
It's like, well, all I had to do was like, listen to my body and have a chat with myself, and that symptom is gone. And then there are other times where it's like, I deeply know what you were trying to say to me, and I hear you and I accept you. And the unconscious mind sometimes just needs more evidence that it's like you are going to listen and follow through.
00:30:56:01 - 00:31:20:08
Filly
And so if the signal isn't completely off yet, it's purely that it's just like, yeah, your system deeper self that wants the best for you just needs to trust that it's like I, I can turn this signal off now because I've experienced this person who I am residing with, that they are being different. And so I can switch it off now because there's trust.
00:31:20:09 - 00:31:38:07
Filly
Even from a neuroscience point of view, the brain is always looking for evidence to know that, like, the person is safe. And so safety will come when there's a new way of being essentially that supportive for the body or mind or emotions.
00:31:38:09 - 00:31:56:13
Virginia
So yeah, I guess, yeah, I was reflecting on it yesterday, which is that, you know, not being able to do so much at the moment means I'm doing the things that I've been putting off that are, you know, that are less about because I'm it's very easy for me to exercise and do things and that sort of stuff.
00:31:56:14 - 00:32:25:12
Virginia
It's, it's I'll resist more sorting some stuff out and getting things sorted out and things like that. These days I go. And so I was like, well, that's interesting that I'm finding time to do that now. So yeah, so it may be that all of this will switch off. It's like, okay, now you've caught up, now you're not racing past all that stuff that really is part of a more balanced world for you then.
00:32:25:13 - 00:32:31:16
Virginia
Yeah. Then we can go back to being pain free. Yeah. Not having to tell you to stop.
00:32:31:18 - 00:32:32:09
Virginia
Yeah.
00:32:32:11 - 00:32:38:21
Filly
Do you remember the very first practice we did after lunch on the first day and you fell asleep?
00:32:38:23 - 00:32:41:08
Virginia
Oh, yes.
00:32:41:10 - 00:32:43:11
Virginia
One of the many times.
00:32:43:13 - 00:32:44:19
Virginia
Well, I mean, there was wisdom.
00:32:44:19 - 00:33:02:22
Filly
In that, too, because I remember when you woke up, it's like. Yep. Because it was just an awareness somatic practice where it's like, what is your body trying to say to you? What does it want? Can you give it to the body right now? And you're like, well, I think it's asking for more rest. And like I literally like gave it to it.
00:33:03:02 - 00:33:30:19
Filly
I gave rest to the body. And that was beautiful because I feel like some people will try and like stay alert just because it's like, well, we're doing a practice. And so I have to like, stay alert and I have to make sure I get what I need to get out of this. Whereas like, even that, that is just like a surrendering into I'm here, I'm doing a practice and right now my body wants to rest and I'm going to have a little sleep.
00:33:30:21 - 00:33:33:19
Virginia
You got to know that I could fall asleep at the job.
00:33:33:21 - 00:33:38:16
Filly
You do have a score of 100 for sleeping.
00:33:38:18 - 00:33:46:10
Virginia
So I'm. I'm. Yeah, I'm well known for being able to sleep very quickly. Very quickly.
00:33:46:12 - 00:33:49:14
Virginia
Oh, dear.
00:33:49:16 - 00:34:11:16
Filly
Okay. I mean, you have mentioned a particular moment in time that was really key for you, like with the lying down on the grass at the end of or during that somatic practice where most people were dancing to the ocean and and again, it was you listen to the wisdom of your body and it's like, actually this kind of like causes pain at the moment.
00:34:11:16 - 00:34:30:10
Filly
So I'm going to lie down and just let go. Let go. Are there any other practices or workshops or conversations where you felt like that really helped you to have a deeper shift, or rewiring around what the body was trying to say to you?
00:34:30:12 - 00:34:57:07
Virginia
I really enjoyed the breathwork session. I that felt like I was actually moving a lot in that session. And it felt it felt like my body was trying to let go of, of tension. That what that that's not obvious tension, you know. So yeah.
00:34:57:09 - 00:34:58:09
Virginia
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:58:10 - 00:35:04:17
Virginia
So that's what it felt. That's what it felt like. Yeah. So I.
00:35:04:19 - 00:35:11:16
Virginia
I can't at this moment recall what I.
00:35:11:18 - 00:35:26:21
Virginia
What you know, what the insights I had after coming out of that session. But I enjoyed it, I enjoyed that I enjoy the, the the experience of connecting with my body in that way.
00:35:26:23 - 00:35:28:16
Virginia
Yeah.
00:35:28:18 - 00:35:38:18
Filly
It's similar themes to what you've been talking about as well. Where it's like, I let, let go. That word keeps coming up like let go of tension.
00:35:38:20 - 00:35:40:19
Virginia
It's only come up about 500.
00:35:40:20 - 00:35:47:00
Virginia
Times approach, you know, now the body is finally like.
00:35:47:02 - 00:35:52:15
Virginia
Would that be letting go? Oh there's that surrender. Oh there's that word again.
00:35:52:17 - 00:36:00:12
Virginia
Trust. Trust with self. Oh trust in the body.
00:36:00:14 - 00:36:05:05
Filly
What what aspects of the retreat did you love the most?
00:36:05:07 - 00:36:08:15
Virginia
Oh, how could I could? I think.
00:36:08:17 - 00:36:11:16
Virginia
That that question.
00:36:11:18 - 00:36:18:02
Virginia
I can't, I just.
00:36:18:04 - 00:36:35:03
Virginia
I, you know, one of the more practical things was the food because it was so amazing to have all this food I could eat without going. What's in that? What's what's that got in here? What's that? It was just. It was delightful.
00:36:35:05 - 00:36:35:17
Virginia
Yes.
00:36:35:18 - 00:36:55:21
Virginia
Delightful. Delightful food. It's so much variety and so good to not have to do this kind of inquisition. Every time I teach something, which is kind of my normal mode when I eat out, it's like, what's that got in it? What's that? Got it.
00:36:55:23 - 00:36:56:22
Virginia
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:56:23 - 00:37:04:20
Filly
That was super important. When I was thinking about the retreat and the wonderful Pep Cooper catered for us. And she's.
00:37:04:20 - 00:37:07:10
Virginia
Amazing, amazing, amazing.
00:37:07:11 - 00:37:22:21
Filly
So she's catered at retreats before. She's had her own, like, food based business, healthy food based business. And she was just so amazing in the way that because probably about 20 different food dietary.
00:37:22:21 - 00:37:23:21
Virginia
Requirements.
00:37:23:21 - 00:37:43:20
Filly
If we put them all together, maybe that's an exaggeration, but at least ten, 10 to 15, there was a significant amount, and she managed to create all the meals and snacks so that everyone could eat almost everything at any point in time. I don't know if you notice that, like, there was no chicken in any of.
00:37:43:20 - 00:37:47:11
Virginia
The meals. No, no, no.
00:37:47:13 - 00:37:54:09
Virginia
But you know what? You know something really weird out of this whole last few weeks. On Sunday night, I ate chicken.
00:37:54:10 - 00:37:55:10
Virginia
Oh, yeah.
00:37:55:10 - 00:37:57:00
Filly
How did that go?
00:37:57:01 - 00:37:57:10
Virginia
Fine.
00:37:57:11 - 00:38:00:01
Virginia
No reaction at this point, as far as I could tell.
00:38:00:01 - 00:38:02:00
Virginia
So I was like, wow.
00:38:02:00 - 00:38:26:09
Virginia
Because I was because I was like, you know what? I just I just have this sense that maybe that was a, a point in time, like it was a. Yeah. Because, you know, back to that thing about when did your body decide it couldn't eat something or couldn't have something. Funnily enough, it was related to a conversation.
00:38:26:09 - 00:38:35:21
Virginia
I had my daughter, who's deeply a scientist. She has a degree in science, advanced times. She teaches it.
00:38:36:02 - 00:38:36:12
Virginia
Yeah.
00:38:36:13 - 00:38:58:05
Virginia
So she's a scientist, right. And and we were talking about she's I don't know what because she suffers from she experiences food intolerances as well. She ignores them a lot more than I do. She just goes, okay, if I have that, I'm going to get this reaction. And am I up for that year? Fine. Yeah. So she'll eat cheese and she'll eat that.
00:38:58:05 - 00:39:24:15
Virginia
But she does react or she has reacted less than I do. So different trait. Anyway, she was saying I was talking about it and she said, oh, this friend of hers developed an intolerance to bread like gluten, and her abdomen used to swell up when she had it and it was fixed with hypnotherapy. I when I'm up for.
00:39:24:16 - 00:39:25:06
Virginia
That.
00:39:25:10 - 00:39:34:05
Virginia
And she said, she said, oh, I don't know, I'll work for you because you know, it's in your name and you passed it on. So it's in your DNA and I'm.
00:39:34:05 - 00:39:34:19
Virginia
Like.
00:39:35:00 - 00:39:35:17
Virginia
Oh, there's.
00:39:35:17 - 00:39:38:12
Filly
A belief.
00:39:38:14 - 00:39:40:11
Virginia
I was like, I was like, oh.
00:39:40:13 - 00:40:00:11
Virginia
It's interesting, isn't it interesting how we all have this, you know, this belief. But somehow it's I think that says, well, I could try a chicken. What's the you know, what's the thing? Because the, the doctors say, oh, you could do an allergy test or you could do this. I'm like, look, I'm not anaphylactic. Like, I'll just try it.
00:40:00:12 - 00:40:01:20
Virginia
Yeah.
00:40:01:22 - 00:40:26:09
Filly
So cool. So because I love this like personally for me and lots of listeners have had this me talk about my food issues in the past with food and how I rewired them so I can eat all the things again. What was like when you went to eat the food? How did you feel like? Was it kind of like a I think that this season has passed and I think I can eat chicken again.
00:40:26:09 - 00:40:29:17
Filly
What was happening in your your mind and your body?
00:40:29:21 - 00:40:30:20
Virginia
I was.
00:40:30:22 - 00:40:57:05
Virginia
I was your voice was in my head where you said, it's important if you reintroduce something that you reinsurer, you reassure your body that it's safe. Yeah. So I was like, it's okay to eat this. This is okay. Right? I'm just curious. I'm just curious whether that was a thing, because the things I can't eat or the things I react to her act to, were with everything I ate at a particular phase of my life.
00:40:57:06 - 00:41:24:17
Virginia
Right? I literally picked out on cheese and chicken and dairy products, like kind of was my diet. And so are all the things that I, I am intolerant to. So. But chicken was the chicken was the weirdest one to pick up, right? It was it was less obvious. And that got picked up by a skin prick test back then.
00:41:24:21 - 00:41:47:07
Virginia
And then I went, oh, right now I can remember the times when I ate chicken and reacted and thought it was something else, but it was never the really big one. Like these is like bang! Each sinus runs like, you know, like, but not chicken. So I thought I'd start with chicken.
00:41:47:12 - 00:41:48:23
Virginia
Yeah.
00:41:49:01 - 00:41:52:12
Virginia
And just end to your point. Go. It's okay. It's all right.
00:41:52:13 - 00:41:53:17
Virginia
Yeah, yeah.
00:41:53:18 - 00:42:18:10
Filly
And it's so interesting because for people who develop quite a lot of different types of allergies or intolerances and sensitivities, it often does start off with one and then food, if you can kind of creep in, or you might get some data where the lab says your body's responding to this. And so it's like that becomes the subconscious story and the conscious story where it's like, I don't eat that because it causes inflammation or some other symptom.
00:42:18:12 - 00:42:36:04
Filly
And then the neurology is just so clever at connecting all different things, and it's like bundling it all together as unsafe. So it's cool when you start uncoupling that. And usually I would suggest start off with something that that feels most neutral now.
00:42:36:06 - 00:42:40:16
Virginia
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. Love that.
00:42:40:18 - 00:42:52:03
Filly
Okay. What changes or intentions have you carried through into your life? Press the retreat.
00:42:52:05 - 00:43:23:22
Virginia
So one of the. Equations that I worked on was being more grateful and graceful. So recognising that at this stage of my life that there will be physical things that are that I can't pretend I'm 20 or 50, I can't. It's like it's. Yeah, I can be, I can be younger than my chronological age, you know that stuff.
00:43:23:23 - 00:43:49:18
Virginia
Yeah, but I'm not a 20 year old. It's like you just it's that's, you know, that that that's a little, that's the word fantasy. Fanciful. Yeah. So the idea of being more grateful for this amazing body I do have that can do so much that is actually very fit and healthy. You know, according to Western medicine, I'm about to be pinnacle of health, right.
00:43:49:19 - 00:43:53:01
Virginia
And love it.
00:43:53:03 - 00:44:16:10
Virginia
Just about and and so so be grateful for that and be more graceful and appreciative of it. So that so that that whole thing about recognising when my body is saying something, don't go, oh, look, it's like it's okay, I don't need to deal with that. It's like, oh, what about what about? I am actually more graceful and grateful.
00:44:16:12 - 00:44:18:06
Virginia
And so that I've carried through.
00:44:18:07 - 00:44:27:00
Filly
Yeah. Which circles back to what you mentioned about. The latest book you're writing around masculine and feminine energy, because the masculine would kind of be.
00:44:27:00 - 00:44:27:13
Virginia
Like.
00:44:27:16 - 00:44:34:19
Filly
Hey, buddy. Like we're just getting on with it. I speak to you later, whereas the feminine is.
00:44:34:21 - 00:44:35:18
Virginia
That's pretty much how.
00:44:35:18 - 00:44:38:04
Virginia
I win. Yeah. So keep pushing along.
00:44:38:05 - 00:44:49:18
Filly
Do do do. Whereas the the graceful and grateful and the receiving and the being again like the let it let it go, let it go is.
00:44:49:19 - 00:44:50:04
Virginia
Is the.
00:44:50:04 - 00:44:57:14
Filly
Motto of today's podcast. We might even use that in the title.
00:44:57:16 - 00:45:00:04
Virginia
Yes. A reminder to me every day.
00:45:00:05 - 00:45:03:02
Virginia
Every day.
00:45:03:04 - 00:45:03:21
Virginia
Okay.
00:45:04:00 - 00:45:14:22
Filly
Last question. If there's anyone who is considering coming along to one of our future retreats, what would you say to them?
00:45:15:00 - 00:45:56:13
Virginia
I it's invest in yourself, you know, it's there is one of the things I have learned as a parent. Back to that tell. The show versus tell is that as I have grown as a person, as I have grown all these different aspects of myself, including including not feeling like I was a good mother, that as I've worked through those and let go of those, I can see the shifts in my daughter and we don't actually talk like we talk every day.
00:45:56:15 - 00:46:14:23
Virginia
It's not like we talk really deeply about things either. But as I shift, she shifts, and I it's one of the most inspiring things that I realise a while ago that if I want her to have the life that I want for her, I need to live their life.
00:46:15:01 - 00:46:17:22
Virginia
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
00:46:18:00 - 00:46:18:23
Filly
Invest in self.
00:46:19:00 - 00:46:27:07
Virginia
I don't mean, you know, you know, it's not exactly, you know, not exactly the same life. But I need to live the life I want. If I want her to live the life she wants.
00:46:27:08 - 00:46:27:16
Virginia
Yeah.
00:46:27:16 - 00:46:56:06
Filly
It gives, it gives permission to other people. Like, you know, you're talking specifically about daughter. It also like anyone else in your world, in your sphere. And when we see a powerful woman who is connected with self and deeply understands herself and has done the work, and now you're being and living your life the way that you want to, and caring for self, because it's just who you are that touches other people.
00:46:56:07 - 00:47:22:04
Filly
Like. And it gives it essentially gives them permission. I think specifically if we're talking about women who in our patriarchal, modern society, it is it's kind of like self-sacrifice, do all the things for everyone else. Oh, and you're working, but you're doing the majority of stuff at home as well. And so there's no time for self. It's wonderful when we have more, more women and role models that are doing that.
00:47:22:06 - 00:47:22:22
Virginia
Yeah.
00:47:23:03 - 00:47:45:05
Virginia
Yeah, I agree with you. I don't think it's gender. I mean it's you know, it works with my it works with my partner as well. So we've talked through things and work through things. He's he's let go of expectations of family members. And you know, how things should be or how he would want it to be for them.
00:47:45:07 - 00:47:48:13
Virginia
Yeah. Yeah. Love that.
00:47:48:15 - 00:48:13:17
Filly
This has been a delight. Thank you so much for sharing all your wisdom and your experiences and your light. If anyone has been listening and they are in the business world, a leader or a business owner that would actually like to reach out to you from a mentoring perspective, what's the best way that people can find out a bit more about you?
00:48:13:19 - 00:48:19:21
Virginia
It's probably the easiest way is my website, which is.
00:48:19:23 - 00:48:25:11
Virginia
Transformation Journey.
00:48:25:13 - 00:48:41:03
Virginia
There's quite a strong emphasis on teams on the website, but I work with individuals as well. That's one of my favourite things these days. And alternatively, just connect up with me on LinkedIn and be happy to have a chat.
00:48:41:04 - 00:48:41:22
Virginia
Awesome!
00:48:42:02 - 00:48:44:10
Filly
Thank you so much.
00:48:44:12 - 00:48:47:14
Chris
Thanks for jumping on the show today. It's been awesome.
00:48:47:15 - 00:48:49:07
Filly
Yeah, it's been lovely.
00:48:49:09 - 00:48:53:06
Virginia
Well, thank you for thank you for holding such an amazing retreat.
00:48:53:08 - 00:48:53:14
Virginia
Oh.
00:48:53:16 - 00:48:58:02
Filly
Thank you. Is a joy and pleasure. Yeah, yeah.
00:48:58:03 - 00:49:00:05
Virginia
Well, the people here made it up.
00:49:00:07 - 00:49:05:07
Virginia
I've organised enough to venture to know there was a lot of work that went into that.
00:49:05:08 - 00:49:06:07
Virginia
Thank you.
00:49:06:12 - 00:49:14:14
Filly
I had a great team surrounding me, including my daughters, who made some beautiful gifts.
00:49:14:16 - 00:49:23:23
Chris
All right, well, stick around, Virginia. We'll say goodbye properly. But thank you, everyone, for joining us for this episode.
00:49:24:01 - 00:49:34:01
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:49:34:06 - 00:49:52:19
Chris
You can also rate your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about our group or one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
