00:00:03:08 - 00:00:17:20
Chris
Hello and welcome to the Ending Body Burnout Show. We are your host Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi-award winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues. While busyness.
00:00:17:20 - 00:00:25:01
Filly
Addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm, it's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:02 - 00:00:38:07
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplement hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:08 - 00:00:46:13
Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:14 - 00:00:55:10
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:55:12 - 00:01:32:00
Filly
Hello everybody! Welcome to the podcast. I'm recording this intro from the beautiful sunny Fiji. Hence, the audio probably isn't as crisp and clear as usual, but when we get to the episode today, it'll be back to normal audio. Back in the recording studio. So today we have another live root cause coaching session for you. Chris is coaching the wonderful Isabel all about money control and healing.
00:01:32:00 - 00:02:19:18
Filly
The not enough pattern. So Chris goes deep with Isabel, coaching her on the deeper wire behind her money. Stress, the need to feel in control, the tension that can build in a relationship when money conversations feel unsafe. And you might be thinking, hang on, isn't this the ending body burnout show? Why are we talking about money? I can attest that money is a major stress for a lot of people, and can really feed burnout patterns of either overdoing, overachieving, being like, overprotective, productive to try and either like, make more money or just because there's an internal fear that you never have enough.
00:02:19:18 - 00:02:45:11
Filly
And that can definitely show up in the area of money for a lot of people. And it can cause burnout, which can cause a chronic stress. The system can get stuck in fight, flight, freeze, and the body systems can burn out. So when we're working with our clients to heal body systems, we're also working on these deeper patterns that of cause the body systems to burn out in the first place.
00:02:45:12 - 00:03:26:07
Filly
Otherwise, if we're just throwing supplements at our gorgeous clients and lab tests, they might feel better for a period of time. Maybe. But it's not going to last because they haven't changed who they are. So this is where we're going to, and it is a rare honour to listen in on a very personal coaching session. So I just want to say a really big thank you to Isabel for allowing us to publish this episode and also you, the listener, if you can give Isabel some virtual energetic love and compassion as you listen to this intimate conversation, all the better.
00:03:26:07 - 00:03:51:06
Filly
So when we enter the coaching space as well, we always pre frame it with our clients that it is a judgement free space and that allows them to feel safe enough to show up exactly as they are and how they feel. And to be honest, honesty will get to the root cause and will also allow you to heal it.
00:03:51:06 - 00:04:13:13
Filly
So if you can give some judgement free space as a listener in this conversation and practice that as well, magic can happen. So today's episode also gives you a glimpse into the metaphysical side of healing inside our ending body. Burnout method. Doors are open. They have been open for the last week. We only open doors three times a day.
00:04:13:15 - 00:04:33:15
Filly
They do close tomorrow. So if you're listening to this on the day that it is published, or the day after, you still have chance to jump on in. And if you're listening to this episode, maybe months into the future or weeks into the future, head down to the show note links because you can still find a bit more about it, about our ending body burnout method.
00:04:33:15 - 00:04:56:17
Filly
And if you're interested, you can pop your name on the waitlist for our next intake. So this metaphysical side of healing that we call Spark inside the method is a critical piece that is often missed in the health industry. It gets to the very root of body burnout by identifying deep seated beliefs and stories that are causing sickness, and keeping you stuck from healing.
00:04:56:19 - 00:05:29:13
Filly
Essentially, the process dives into your brain, your nervous system, and your unconscious mind and rewires your healing abilities from within. And if you do want to learn a little bit more about what we do, we have also been holding a free Rewire Your Brain to End Body Burnout four part series of live workshops this past week. We do have another one, or the last one is happening tonight, which is all about rewiring your block, so helping you to break through the blocks that are holding you back from from healing.
00:05:29:15 - 00:05:51:13
Filly
And that's going to be really personal for each individual. So this session, Free workshop tonight is really designed to be coaching and to coach you through your own blocks and connect to the deepest part of you that wants the best for you, that knows how to heal and to access that power from within. So we'd love for you to join us again.
00:05:51:13 - 00:06:10:15
Filly
If you're missing, if you're listening to this podcast, not on the date of being published, then head down to the show notes because the replay may still be available. All right, let's go to the episode today.
00:06:10:17 - 00:06:37:01
Chris
Welcome, everybody, to this episode of the Ending Body Burnout Show. Today, I have a guest on the line. I have Isabel with me, and Isabel's actually gone through our ending body burnout method. And today we're going to do a live coaching course. So I'll just get you to press unmute on your your screen there as well.
00:06:37:02 - 00:06:42:00
Chris
Awesome. All right. Well welcome. Thanks for thanks for joining me.
00:06:42:02 - 00:06:44:05
Isabel
You're welcome. Thanks for having me.
00:06:44:06 - 00:07:04:03
Chris
Oh worries. So what I you and I have had a little bit of a chat before we jumped onto the live press record, but just so that we can get some clarity for the coaching call, what would you like to to chat about and to discuss and get some some coaching on today?
00:07:04:05 - 00:07:33:10
Isabel
So my serious issue is, has always seemed to have been money. Not necessarily did I notice it until I was married. But you know, I have actually done something particularly and we went right back to before I was born, you know, when my parents found out that they were having me and I was number four, and they even wondered, this is what came up, how on earth were going to afford it.
00:07:33:10 - 00:08:08:17
Isabel
And personally, I think that is effectively always, you know, and then I have a memory of them, you know, being grateful that somehow I found out they didn't have a mortgage anymore. You know, when I was a little girl and I don't know how old, and you don't think these things are picked you until you get to be older and and you start to go down similar paths and, and you know, so and I mean, my sister is my sister and yet she doesn't have anything like the travel money I have.
00:08:08:18 - 00:08:13:16
Isabel
And so okay, I have worked on it a lot myself.
00:08:13:16 - 00:08:24:10
Chris
And so just it sounds like some money, money stories in here that are still wanting to be cleaned up. Is that right?
00:08:24:16 - 00:08:25:18
Isabel
Oh, I think so.
00:08:25:19 - 00:08:26:22
Chris
Cool. All right.
00:08:26:23 - 00:08:36:03
Isabel
And I think that's just an energy that with my limited abilities, I can't touch.
00:08:36:05 - 00:08:44:04
Chris
I'll write that down. Energy. Like there's an energy and something you can't touch around around that.
00:08:44:06 - 00:08:51:04
Isabel
Yeah. There is. I'm sure that is okay. Or another way of dealing with it.
00:08:51:06 - 00:08:57:18
Chris
Okay.
00:08:57:20 - 00:09:29:21
Chris
Alrighty. So when it comes to when it comes to your current state of affairs and way of having money, dealing with money, using money, is there something you wanted to specifically talk about when it comes to to money? Because, I mean, that's money. I could mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. What does it mean to you and what would you like to to talk about when it comes to money?
00:09:29:23 - 00:09:46:13
Isabel
So a big thing is, I suppose really is, and I'm not working anymore and I don't have my own income. And so I'm relying on my husband. And we have been, you know, I didn't really want to say about that other situation.
00:09:46:15 - 00:09:48:11
Chris
Yeah.
00:09:48:13 - 00:09:53:12
Isabel
But.
00:09:53:14 - 00:10:21:02
Isabel
I don't know, somehow it also includes my husband very severely, because I'm a very tend to be a very negative person on the whole, especially, I suppose, when it comes down to money and spending it on big things which cost lots, lots. And so he has my husband has done some things that without me knowing and.
00:10:21:04 - 00:10:23:06
Isabel
Made it difficult now.
00:10:23:08 - 00:10:27:07
Chris
Yeah. Like spending, spending things, spending, spending money. Is that what you mean?
00:10:27:07 - 00:10:29:23
Isabel
Yeah. Interesting and very wise.
00:10:30:00 - 00:10:31:11
Chris
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
00:10:31:13 - 00:10:39:05
Isabel
Let's do it with. Yeah.
00:10:39:07 - 00:11:24:13
Chris
Okay. And when it comes to investing wisely or unwisely, what are your what are your expectations around that. Because some I watched a movie is a YouTube video. I watched a YouTube video and it was a guy and he was very it was just part of his life. He didn't mind it when millions of dollars, millions like millions of dollars more money than I've seen in my bank account accumulated through my whole entire life, you know, multiple, multiple, millions of dollars move out of his bank account on a daily basis.
00:11:24:13 - 00:11:35:13
Chris
And and that I reflected on that. I paused and and thought, I'm like, wow, that's such a different way of of living. And he was okay with that.
00:11:35:14 - 00:11:37:13
Isabel
But was he in control?
00:11:37:14 - 00:11:46:07
Chris
Well, I mean, I think he was a stockbroker, so he worked at home and doing that sort of stuff, you know, like but.
00:11:46:08 - 00:11:49:15
Isabel
He went, I wasn't in control. That's.
00:11:49:17 - 00:11:51:22
Chris
Yeah. Here we go. So. So this.
00:11:51:22 - 00:11:53:06
Isabel
Is a control thing.
00:11:53:06 - 00:11:59:12
Chris
So this so we're kind of talking about money, but we're also kind of talking about control.
00:11:59:14 - 00:11:59:20
Isabel
Yeah.
00:11:59:21 - 00:12:01:12
Chris
Is that what you're saying? Yeah okay.
00:12:01:13 - 00:12:10:07
Isabel
I really severely think so. Yeah. Okay. When I own my own, I'm in control. That's what I.
00:12:10:09 - 00:12:13:01
Isabel
When there's only news, I'm not.
00:12:13:03 - 00:12:14:14
Chris
Well. Yeah. What's the what's the.
00:12:14:15 - 00:12:15:18
Isabel
What's what it comes down to.
00:12:15:19 - 00:12:19:17
Chris
What's the problem? They're like why is that an issue for you personally.
00:12:19:18 - 00:12:20:11
Isabel
Yeah. Why is.
00:12:20:11 - 00:12:24:06
Chris
It I don't know.
00:12:24:08 - 00:12:25:15
Isabel
I don't either.
00:12:25:17 - 00:12:47:09
Chris
Sure you do. You think about it. Don't answer straight away. Just have a little bit of a thing. Because you do know it's it might be hard to put into words challenging, but. But I mean, you're going to know there's, there's some sort of an issue with, with not having control of money.
00:12:47:11 - 00:12:53:15
Isabel
So it comes down to not trusting my husband. That's what it is.
00:12:53:17 - 00:13:11:23
Isabel
You know, it gets. So I think that, you know, when he's got some money, he he might use it. And I think one of the things that did hurt a lot is to not trusting to tell me. But he thought he was going to give me a nice surprise.
00:13:12:01 - 00:13:15:23
Isabel
And perhaps he wanted to prove that he can do and do it without my help.
00:13:15:23 - 00:13:20:14
Chris
Sorry, Isabel. Did he say that, by the way? Did he say he didn't trust you or you just made that?
00:13:20:14 - 00:13:21:20
Isabel
I didn't say that.
00:13:22:00 - 00:13:26:09
Chris
You added that in your brain. Your heart?
00:13:26:10 - 00:13:27:06
Isabel
That's my brain.
00:13:27:07 - 00:13:33:09
Chris
Yeah, yeah. You you. His actions meant he didn't trust me. Yeah.
00:13:33:10 - 00:13:39:09
Isabel
To put them into me. I mean, they might have meant that him. You're right. Absolutely right.
00:13:39:11 - 00:14:02:15
Chris
Yeah, but. And that's the the point isn't him. It's you. You know, you can't change him. I mean, surely you've been married long enough. You get the you've got zero ability to 100% control him and his behaviours, his thoughts, you know. So so you're the one. You're the one that you have control.
00:14:02:15 - 00:14:03:23
Isabel
Over I agree.
00:14:04:01 - 00:14:19:15
Chris
So what's this? What's this control business about when it comes to him and money and his choices. What's the backstory there?
00:14:19:17 - 00:14:49:16
Isabel
And you know, money came in once or twice a year, but lots of money went out before that. And you and water and all that to grow crops and seed and whatever you had to grow. And so he didn't. This is when the early 90s. So then you couldn't have money for the every day. It's like the food on the table, the water bill in the rates and everything.
00:14:49:16 - 00:15:12:02
Isabel
So then when my kids were little, the parenting payment came in and that was all mine. And that saw us through very, very difficult times. And I think that's probably set the ground for me having my money and Bruce having my husband having his.
00:15:12:04 - 00:15:24:07
Isabel
You know, it was a matter of survival and.
00:15:24:09 - 00:15:27:18
Isabel
Kindly survival.
00:15:27:19 - 00:15:32:21
Isabel
That words.
00:15:32:23 - 00:15:48:19
Chris
What what kind of impact did that have on on you being in that state, that situation.
00:15:48:21 - 00:16:13:03
Isabel
Was really tough. And, you know, I wasn't in control. I didn't have any money I could even control. And then you not married and you don't have any other responsibilities. Well, you're in control, aren't you? Your own clients isn't everything. And then things change when you have more dynamics and you wouldn't change it for anything.
00:16:13:03 - 00:16:26:21
Chris
But where are you remembering this? In your body? Are you? Is this just kind of in your head? You seeing like a little movie or are you feeling something like what's what's actually happening now in your stomach?
00:16:26:23 - 00:16:28:15
Isabel
Well, it's not extensive.
00:16:28:16 - 00:16:55:02
Chris
Yeah. Can we just take a time out for a second? Can you can you bring your attention there, Isabel? Sometimes it helps to. Yeah. Even exactly where you said, like, just below. They're like, shut down your eyes. Allow yourself to to to just notice what you're noticing. Be aware of that because there's something frustrating. Right.
00:16:55:04 - 00:17:01:00
Isabel
Yeah. It's that have a big impact especially when it's in your experience.
00:17:01:01 - 00:17:08:07
Chris
All right. Closing down your your your your eyes.
00:17:08:09 - 00:17:30:11
Chris
Hearing my words, hearing the sounds outside your house, I think I can hear some plovers or something, some some birds, but just just notice and let that, let them kind of fade to the edge of your awareness. And although you might, you might hear your computer making some noises, might even hear my voice, but just allow me to kind of like, fade into the background.
00:17:30:12 - 00:17:44:01
Chris
You hear me? But I'm back there. Bring your attention to your tummy, your stomach, or just below there.
00:17:44:03 - 00:17:52:23
Chris
And just allow your attention to be there.
00:17:53:01 - 00:18:28:04
Chris
And notice any sort of uncomfortableness explode. Yeah, yeah. Good, good. Feel it. Feel that exploding feeling. Feel it good. Might sound some kind of way to. To hear me say good. You might be like, what do you do? You try and feel this then, buddy, you know, but just. Yeah. Good. Allow that to be there for you. That uncomfortableness, that sensation.
00:18:28:06 - 00:18:40:07
Isabel
You know. So this is calling me to explode because I've never been able to talk about it. And I want to get it out there and I want to get rid of it.
00:18:40:09 - 00:18:45:14
Chris
Yeah. So feel that.
00:18:45:16 - 00:18:57:07
Chris
And then there's going to be some sort of a frustration attached to that, some sort of a tension, some sort of a not okay ness isn't there.
00:18:57:09 - 00:18:59:10
Isabel
Yeah. It's all not okay.
00:18:59:11 - 00:19:01:02
Chris
It's all not okay.
00:19:01:04 - 00:19:05:18
Isabel
It's making my jaw tense and it makes me want to cry. And.
00:19:05:20 - 00:19:09:07
Chris
Yeah.
00:19:09:09 - 00:19:24:19
Chris
What would it be like if you just allowed all that to happen? The crying, allowing yourself to cry, allowing yourself to to feel. Allow yourself to really just let go, stop holding it back and just let it. Let it be.
00:19:24:19 - 00:19:26:01
Isabel
There, let it go.
00:19:26:03 - 00:19:37:07
Chris
I don't I don't care if you do or not. It's not going to hurt me or either way. But Isabelle, I'm wondering what it would be like if you did.
00:19:37:09 - 00:19:46:03
Chris
What would it be like if you did? If you just let that go?
00:19:46:05 - 00:19:52:04
Isabel
It would be a relief.
00:19:52:05 - 00:20:00:06
Chris
Give that a go. Give that a go if you want.
00:20:00:08 - 00:20:05:17
Chris
And stay with it. Just notice it.
00:20:05:19 - 00:20:18:13
Chris
Like one of those plovers I heard in the background of your video. Just before they come in, make a noise and then they fly away. You know, like this could be just the same sort of thing to that, like a wave coming in. Yeah.
00:20:18:15 - 00:20:20:13
Isabel
It's cool.
00:20:20:15 - 00:20:21:17
Chris
Good.
00:20:21:19 - 00:20:22:18
Isabel
It's done.
00:20:22:20 - 00:20:44:23
Chris
Now instead of controlling, instead of trying to force. If there is any of that, then instead of that allowing curiosity, allowing gentleness, breathing like that, just like that, softening. There you go. Observing.
00:20:45:01 - 00:20:49:07
Chris
Reducing the resistance.
00:20:49:09 - 00:20:59:03
Chris
Letting it come in and be there. Doing what it's doing, all that.
00:20:59:05 - 00:21:07:03
Chris
Space.
00:21:07:05 - 00:21:13:08
Chris
That's it. Experiencing it.
00:21:13:10 - 00:21:14:12
Chris
Yeah.
00:21:14:14 - 00:21:16:02
Isabel
And going I think.
00:21:16:03 - 00:21:20:16
Chris
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:20:18 - 00:21:26:02
Chris
Don't have to fix.
00:21:26:04 - 00:21:33:15
Isabel
When someone else can help you with it. You know, like just exchanging words and.
00:21:33:17 - 00:21:39:02
Isabel
Brings it to the surface.
00:21:39:04 - 00:22:09:10
Chris
And notice what that the mechanism the the the the the technology of of allowing that to come to the surface. Like what just literally what just happened. The science of it, it was all I'm doing is I'm, I'm just saying words. But you're the one. You're the one in the in the chair. You're the one. You're the you're the actual doer of the doings, aren't you?
00:22:09:12 - 00:22:13:06
Isabel
Yeah. That's right.
00:22:13:08 - 00:22:15:12
Chris
You're the. You're the one.
00:22:15:16 - 00:22:16:10
Isabel
Who's say.
00:22:16:14 - 00:22:22:10
Chris
Yeah, that's so magic. Words are magic.
00:22:22:11 - 00:22:47:06
Chris
See if you can. Notice that you gave yourself permission. You know, I was just saying the things, but you were. You were the one who signed off on the deal. You of the you know, the to let go. That was. That was you. I didn't force anything.
00:22:47:08 - 00:22:57:11
Isabel
You know, the first place where this is always affected me is in my system. So.
00:22:57:13 - 00:23:07:09
Isabel
It used to be that nobody's anymore. But doing your anybody burnout.
00:23:07:11 - 00:23:41:22
Chris
And and if you can just it's kind of like a yes. No. This is this is binary. It's it's it's a I can or or not yet, you know, like it's a on off awareness of permission. You granted yourself permission to to. And so noticing that, that you were the one that granted the permission to allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, it wasn't taken from you or made it was freedom in you, wasn't there?
00:23:42:00 - 00:23:46:17
Isabel
Yeah. Very much.
00:23:46:19 - 00:23:50:19
Isabel
It's very voluntary.
00:23:50:21 - 00:23:52:20
Isabel
Very careful.
00:23:52:22 - 00:24:19:15
Chris
If you could find a place where that noticing of the permission could live. I don't know if that makes sense to you yet, but if you could allow there to be some sort of a place in your body where you could store that awareness, storing the awareness that you gave permission, where can you store that in your body wears a good spot for that.
00:24:19:17 - 00:24:29:17
Isabel
I think in the same spot where I had my pain, where it was all churning and exploded, now now wants to close up, okay.
00:24:29:22 - 00:24:53:21
Chris
And so allow yourself to, to to store any sort of awarenesses of your the one in the driver's seat. You're the one that opens the floodgates. You're the one that closes them. You're the one that that holds the trigger. You're the one in control. You control. You just allow that awareness to be stored.
00:24:53:23 - 00:24:57:09
Isabel
Yeah, I have to grow on that, I think.
00:24:57:11 - 00:25:00:03
Chris
Yeah.
00:25:00:05 - 00:25:06:03
Isabel
That's amazing.
00:25:06:05 - 00:25:19:16
Chris
And why you've got your eyes closed. And while you're noticing that that permission piece has been noticed and stored away.
00:25:19:18 - 00:25:26:05
Chris
What else do you notice in your body right now? Is there something?
00:25:26:07 - 00:25:36:08
Chris
Different? Same. Similar? Completely opposite. You know what? What do you notice in your body now?
00:25:36:10 - 00:25:41:00
Chris
What's happening?
00:25:41:02 - 00:25:43:08
Chris
Peaceful.
00:25:43:09 - 00:25:48:12
Isabel
My heart's beating harder.
00:25:48:14 - 00:25:55:08
Isabel
More peaceful. I think it's restful.
00:25:55:10 - 00:26:05:18
Chris
Yeah.
00:26:05:20 - 00:26:37:22
Chris
Whenever we feel this frustration, uncomfortable sensation. So for you, when you're feeling it in your in your tummy or in your stomach just below that and your jaw was tensing. Whenever we notice these things, these emotional that are coming up for, for you in your life, it's a it means that something's not okay. There's some there's something going on that you're not 100% fully integrated.
00:26:38:00 - 00:26:40:09
Chris
All good with.
00:26:40:11 - 00:26:42:18
Isabel
Yeah.
00:26:42:20 - 00:27:00:11
Chris
And if you think about the the situation around money control and your husband, some part of you wasn't okay with that.
00:27:00:13 - 00:27:09:18
Chris
And if you allow yourself to, to be okay not being okay, see if you can wrap your mind around that.
00:27:09:20 - 00:27:21:12
Chris
What was what did you want to happen? What do you wish happened?
00:27:21:14 - 00:27:28:06
Isabel
I, I wish that.
00:27:28:08 - 00:27:32:08
Isabel
Confided in me earlier.
00:27:32:10 - 00:27:40:06
Isabel
Believe me that I thought it was. This investment was dodgy.
00:27:40:08 - 00:27:56:15
Isabel
Because I did have huge debts and you wouldn't have it until it was really bad. And he went about it to help him.
00:27:56:17 - 00:28:12:10
Isabel
Then? Then.
00:28:12:12 - 00:28:20:08
Isabel
About money. That's the thing. We don't talk about money together very easy.
00:28:20:10 - 00:28:29:15
Isabel
Whenever his parents talked about it, made a fight and whenever we talk about it, made a fight.
00:28:29:17 - 00:28:43:21
Isabel
An old. We don't know because I've come a long way doing ending body burnout.
00:28:43:23 - 00:28:46:19
Chris
Okay.
00:28:46:21 - 00:29:01:03
Isabel
The beginning to talk about it peacefully, fairly confiding one another about it without snarling or anything, you know.
00:29:01:05 - 00:29:17:02
Isabel
That's a leash. And I think it's a changeable because we had to change some things since this happened, you know, this investment went there.
00:29:17:04 - 00:29:19:16
Chris
Yeah.
00:29:19:18 - 00:29:34:14
Isabel
It doesn't mean to settle in sale and and doing ending. But again, it certainly helped me cope with it. Maybe the novelty. Otherwise I'm sure of that.
00:29:34:15 - 00:29:45:10
Chris
Yeah, yeah. Nice observation in your in your body and in your, in your life. That's that's pretty cool.
00:29:45:12 - 00:30:06:02
Isabel
It's, you know, things happen and you don't have, you don't think you've got control over it, but you've got huge control over everything really.
00:30:06:04 - 00:30:28:14
Chris
Imagine if you could have better conversations where they were fair and you confided in each other. There was a some sort of a this is my word, but some sort of a transparency or a a permeability, you know, like things can and it didn't mean anything about your husband. It didn't mean anything about you. Your choices are simply choices.
00:30:28:14 - 00:30:37:01
Chris
And sometimes just the intentions don't.
00:30:37:02 - 00:30:54:20
Chris
Sometimes literally pay off. Like, literally we're talking about something like that. And then metaphorically, they don't pay off the way where or they play out, don't play out the way we want them. But that doesn't have to mean something about us. We don't have to be less than or not enough, do we?
00:30:54:22 - 00:31:15:22
Isabel
Yeah, true. It doesn't have to be personal. And that's the thing. When these things happen, to take it personally so much, especially between, you know, in a relationship, I think instead of looking at it objectively, you look at it personally. Well, I do I'm, you know, take everything personal.
00:31:16:00 - 00:31:19:12
Isabel
Just about. And that is a huge thing too.
00:31:19:14 - 00:31:32:12
Chris
Yeah. So so when we take things personally, we we have a belief underneath that it's always going to be I'm not good enough. It's all like use a different word. Do you know what I mean.
00:31:32:13 - 00:31:34:14
Isabel
That was my thing. I'm not enough.
00:31:34:16 - 00:31:39:13
Chris
Yeah.
00:31:39:15 - 00:31:46:22
Isabel
I love that first half of the course. It was lots of homework, but you.
00:31:47:00 - 00:32:13:03
Chris
So. So whenever you're feeling like your fuses blow your frustrations, you get an uncomfortable sensation or. Yeah, yeah, that trigger emotional, all that sort of stuff. Whenever that comes out, it's a light bulb goes off you. You might not be able to see it straight away, but there's this this light bulb over your head going flashing. Yeah. I'm not enough.
00:32:13:04 - 00:32:18:18
Chris
I believe I'm not enough I believe I'm not enough I believe I'm not enough. Yeah, yeah.
00:32:18:18 - 00:32:23:06
Isabel
So I need to change that I am good enough.
00:32:23:08 - 00:32:33:23
Chris
Yeah. What if you. What if you did that right now and you spoke that, like, with some earnestness and some honesty, and you said that to yourself.
00:32:34:01 - 00:33:00:13
Isabel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. I know it's my thing, but I don't really refer to it enough. And, you know, I haven't put it down to the, to everything like that, Chris. And I like saying it because, I mean, that's the whole thing about control, isn't it? You've gone. If I'm not in control and someone else is doing something without my control is because I think I'm not good enough, that's all.
00:33:00:15 - 00:33:05:01
Chris
Yeah.
00:33:05:03 - 00:33:27:20
Chris
Yeah. And silly. And I call these next level problems. You clear up the whole house and then you realise, oh, now I've cleared the whole house, I can. I realised that that mat, that carpet, that rug is actually filthy. I need to, I need to clean that rug. I couldn't tell because it was covered or the couch for whatever.
00:33:27:22 - 00:33:30:01
Isabel
Hey, you applying that in this situation?
00:33:30:02 - 00:33:37:15
Chris
Yeah, well, you've cleaned up. You've cleaned up this belief about yourself. Yeah. And now all of a sudden, you can have this.
00:33:37:17 - 00:33:38:12
Isabel
Come to the surface.
00:33:38:13 - 00:33:41:09
Chris
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
00:33:41:10 - 00:33:42:01
Isabel
That's right.
00:33:42:02 - 00:34:07:22
Chris
And maybe in the, in the past, maybe the way you were running your patterns, the way you were believing about yourself, like there was just no space for this honest communication and, and vulnerability. Maybe, you know, you're we are all doing the best we can with what we've got. Yeah. So your husband would have been doing the best he could with what he had and his decisions, and didn't turn out the way he wanted either.
00:34:07:22 - 00:34:08:17
Chris
It sounds like.
00:34:08:19 - 00:34:10:23
Isabel
And.
00:34:11:01 - 00:34:12:19
Chris
Yeah.
00:34:12:21 - 00:34:15:04
Isabel
He feels it. He does feel it.
00:34:15:06 - 00:34:45:11
Chris
And so now it's I mean, you guys are you're married. So your partnership you're a team. So what's next. What's your what's your intention. You kind of talked about it like with the doesn't have to be personal. You can be objective. You are enough. You know what's what's next for you. What do you intend to to do about this situation?
00:34:45:13 - 00:34:55:03
Isabel
Yeah, right. So I have said we've got to be more transparent. I haven't called it transparent, but I said we're going to be more open because. Is that what you mean, increase.
00:34:55:04 - 00:34:59:10
Chris
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, now we're cooking. So so how will that play out for you.
00:34:59:12 - 00:35:13:12
Isabel
So you know, even me just saying more about what I'm doing. You know, we've just had my own money and I just do what I like and buy groceries and all that I used to, and,
00:35:13:14 - 00:35:30:06
Isabel
You know, I don't know that this would have come about if I hadn't stopped working recently. Had to rely on my husband for his money. I wonder if the same situation would have played out the same as it is, because I wouldn't have been so stressed about it, and it wouldn't have come to the surface, wouldn't it?
00:35:30:08 - 00:35:30:22
Chris
Yeah, maybe.
00:35:30:23 - 00:36:00:07
Isabel
That's amazing. Oh, I'm certain. And I'm so. Yeah. You know, just just talk about it. We can talk about it without raising problems. And my husband has no problem about me wanting to spend money on this or that, but I don't like to ask him. So, you know, I haven't like to ask him. And I've always thought there'd be an objection that there hasn't been in the last few months.
00:36:00:09 - 00:36:04:12
Isabel
So just be honest. That's all. I think it comes down to.
00:36:04:14 - 00:36:05:03
Chris
So.
00:36:05:03 - 00:36:07:01
Isabel
So myself down about it.
00:36:07:04 - 00:36:14:13
Chris
Yeah. It sounds like you're talking about a a new level of growth in your marriage as well.
00:36:14:15 - 00:36:20:06
Isabel
Yeah, I think there is. And.
00:36:20:08 - 00:36:34:10
Isabel
If I change he does. Do you know it? It's not the same quite as when you're not having done the body burnout. But.
00:36:34:12 - 00:36:37:23
Isabel
There is change.
00:36:38:01 - 00:36:39:15
Isabel
We'll keep working at it.
00:36:39:17 - 00:36:40:20
Chris
Yeah.
00:36:40:22 - 00:36:44:19
Isabel
Change me first and the rest falls into place.
00:36:44:21 - 00:37:04:08
Chris
Imagine imagine there's a little bit of dirtiness in in your in your marriage right now. And it just needs to be that space needs to be cleaned up. How are you going to clean clean the space between you.
00:37:04:10 - 00:37:08:18
Isabel
The broom.
00:37:08:20 - 00:37:12:14
Isabel
Sweep it out the way.
00:37:12:16 - 00:37:18:17
Chris
What have you got to believe about yourself in order for this space to be clean? I mean.
00:37:18:18 - 00:37:29:04
Isabel
Yeah, step forward. I am good enough. Yeah, yeah, I think so.
00:37:29:06 - 00:37:52:10
Chris
If you were to just lock that into your into your body somewhere, I am good enough. Yeah. And I can have honest, transparent communication with my with my husband and with myself. It's not personal. It's objective. Where can you where would you put that. So you can have that for later.
00:37:52:12 - 00:38:13:14
Isabel
You do that. It's such an interesting way of looking at things. I've never done it before. So I have to grow on that one because, you know, the first place where this up to hurt me was in this stomach area.
00:38:13:15 - 00:38:16:00
Isabel
I'm going to put it there, I think.
00:38:16:02 - 00:38:19:08
Chris
There you go.
00:38:19:10 - 00:38:22:18
Isabel
Just put it there and open it up and let it go.
00:38:22:20 - 00:38:23:19
Chris
Yeah.
00:38:23:21 - 00:38:31:09
Isabel
Just like an exploding but more control. The opening, perhaps.
00:38:31:11 - 00:38:36:13
Isabel
Not violent. Exploding is violent, isn't it?
00:38:36:15 - 00:39:01:17
Chris
Maybe you jump in your car and you drive down the street. It doesn't have to be violent. It could be a electric car or not. There's going to be an explosion, so to speak. I know when I, when I, when I go through my life, this whole heap of chemical reactions that happen in my body and that not entirely violent.
00:39:01:17 - 00:39:14:06
Chris
So, so explosions don't have to be violent. But but I think when they're unrestrained, uncontrolled and they're, they're directed the explosion is more like an atomic bomb kind of thing. Maybe that's violent.
00:39:14:08 - 00:39:16:19
Isabel
More like.
00:39:16:21 - 00:39:18:00
Chris
Yeah.
00:39:18:01 - 00:39:21:12
Isabel
That'll be fun stuff anyway.
00:39:21:14 - 00:39:45:09
Chris
All right. Well, going forwards, if you were to think about in the future because sometimes this feeling, this, this stomach just below the stomach feeling, I don't know. Has this happened before. Is it. Or is that it's the first time it's ever happened? You've you've ever felt this sort of way before in your entire life? Or have you kind of felt like this before?
00:39:45:11 - 00:39:46:23
Isabel
No, this is the first.
00:39:47:00 - 00:39:47:20
Chris
You're right.
00:39:48:00 - 00:39:52:00
Isabel
I had lots and lots of firsts since I put in.
00:39:52:02 - 00:40:02:17
Chris
But you mentioned you mentioned with your mum and your sister about money and and stories and your back story, you know, like.
00:40:02:19 - 00:40:06:11
Chris
00:40:06:13 - 00:40:25:16
Chris
You know, so there's going to be some sort of a, a bottling up that that used to always happen is what I'm getting at. Do you remember? Do you remember. Is that what you meant? Like you tended to act a certain way around money or believe a certain thing about money?
00:40:25:18 - 00:40:35:08
Isabel
Well, I believe that I must've, I must've personally.
00:40:35:10 - 00:40:38:18
Chris
Yeah, like there was a pattern, right? There was. This isn't an isolated.
00:40:38:18 - 00:40:40:11
Isabel
Incident a long time ago.
00:40:40:12 - 00:40:41:01
Chris
Yeah, yeah.
00:40:41:01 - 00:40:45:10
Isabel
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure of it. Positive that it goes back a long way.
00:40:45:12 - 00:41:04:04
Chris
So what I'm getting at is that if if, if things didn't change or things don't change the trajectory that you were on, you would have become a 95 year old woman that dies with that pattern.
00:41:04:06 - 00:41:25:22
Isabel
Yeah. And all my kids and all the. And all the rest. Yes. It's definitely I definitely think it's inherited my. I've got a brother who has gone through some patterns the same as me. You know, about money. I can't remember now whether it was, we we know we were to receive abundance. I think we had both of us.
00:41:25:22 - 00:41:28:18
Isabel
And I think it goes back.
00:41:28:23 - 00:41:57:11
Chris
Okay. So. So what I'm getting at here is there there was a trajectory. You're on a train track heading there. If things didn't change or things don't change, your life would have been mapped out well and truly like a like a railway track, not a Queensland one because they were all shut down at the moment. It's like a, you know, like a it's a railway track heading in the direction.
00:41:57:11 - 00:42:03:20
Chris
And it wouldn't have changed it kind of because you're you, you had that installed.
00:42:03:21 - 00:42:04:05
Isabel
Yeah.
00:42:04:06 - 00:42:35:06
Chris
That's okay. So so what how can things be different. How can you leverage your time today and your and your awarenesses and change the trajectory of your life starting from right this about ten minutes ago when you had that awareness about not taking things personal. You are enough. Having honest, transparent communication with your husband, just talking, you know?
00:42:35:07 - 00:42:49:07
Chris
How can that be the leverage you need to to change your life's trajectory? Why is this going to be different next time?
00:42:49:09 - 00:42:50:20
Isabel
Is it going to be your next time?
00:42:50:21 - 00:43:00:20
Chris
Well, it has to be, because, I mean, no one we're not communists in Australia where we've got money. There's always going to be money conversations, I'm assuming.
00:43:00:22 - 00:43:02:06
Isabel
Oh, okay.
00:43:02:08 - 00:43:04:09
Chris
You I mean, unless you and your husband.
00:43:04:10 - 00:43:09:22
Isabel
What am I going to what am I going to call on to make this different from now on? What? What are you asking?
00:43:09:23 - 00:43:32:17
Chris
Let's put it this way, Your honour. Your honour, I call to the. To the stand. Isabel. Isabel, do you swear to tell the truth? Whole truth, blah blah blah blah blah? Yes. Okay, cool. How can you prove that you will be different when it comes to money conversations and and transparency? You know, there's going to be conversations in the future.
00:43:32:18 - 00:43:36:19
Chris
What's what's different?
00:43:36:21 - 00:43:41:14
Isabel
I know you're seeking something, and I can't tell you.
00:43:41:16 - 00:43:48:03
Isabel
I just got that click that I need to be. Just add what you're wanting.
00:43:48:05 - 00:44:16:11
Chris
Yeah. What are you what are you what's different what's different from now? Like, you know, has this just been a chat or are you going to how can you be different going into the future?
00:44:16:13 - 00:44:22:08
Isabel
I am good enough to working something else and I can't get it.
00:44:22:10 - 00:44:25:01
Chris
Oh, let me ask my question a different way.
00:44:25:03 - 00:44:28:01
Isabel
Yeah, because it hasn't clicked.
00:44:28:02 - 00:44:38:01
Chris
How have you changed?
00:44:38:03 - 00:44:42:18
Chris
The last half an hour?
00:44:42:20 - 00:44:52:05
Isabel
Away?
00:44:52:07 - 00:44:57:00
Chris
What's that going to do for you? How can that help?
00:44:57:02 - 00:45:01:22
Isabel
That'd be more kindly. More kind.
00:45:02:00 - 00:45:19:13
Chris
And so when when money conversations come up, what's what's the new way, you know.
00:45:19:15 - 00:45:26:06
Isabel
To ask me questions instead of just blowing off.
00:45:26:08 - 00:45:57:00
Isabel
You know, I think the question instead of assuming, you know, is much kinder.
00:45:57:02 - 00:46:00:11
Isabel
You want a word, don't you? Oh.
00:46:00:13 - 00:46:17:15
Chris
Just just checking in. You do? So this is just as an FYI and for any sort of practitioners who are listening and playing along, what we're doing right now is, is the part of a coaching call called a future pace, where, where we just check in and just we just see how things are going to be different in the future.
00:46:17:15 - 00:46:41:16
Chris
And this is what locks it in for, for a person is what this is. This is how you can package this up in a way that you're going to take it with you, and you're going to be different in the future. We can say the different way it can go. What are you what are you going to take with you from our conversation today?
00:46:41:18 - 00:46:53:17
Isabel
Okay. That's good. So I can refer to my inner stomach stuff that I think that there. What was the first thing we put in place? I haven't got a penny on me.
00:46:53:18 - 00:47:15:23
Chris
That's right. So so we talked about. We talked about you giving yourself permission and noticing that you had permission.
00:47:16:01 - 00:47:41:08
Chris
Well, yeah. Well, you always that permission, the ability to grant yourself permission is is always present in all people. But we just might not notice that. And so to my invite to you was around noticing that you you did grant yourself permission to open up, to feel what you're feeling today.
00:47:41:10 - 00:47:44:23
Isabel
Okay. Yeah.
00:47:45:01 - 00:47:48:06
Isabel
And what was the second thing I put back on my stomach?
00:47:48:07 - 00:47:51:19
Chris
Well, you you have a perception about yourself.
00:47:51:21 - 00:47:53:04
Isabel
Oh, that's good enough.
00:47:53:08 - 00:47:56:17
Chris
Yeah.
00:47:56:19 - 00:47:57:05
Isabel
I think.
00:47:57:09 - 00:48:01:20
Chris
When you blow a fuse, you you've you're going to be.
00:48:01:22 - 00:48:02:22
Isabel
Yeah.
00:48:03:00 - 00:48:12:20
Chris
While you're clearing things up here, you're, there's a belief underneath those, those behaviours, those patterns.
00:48:12:22 - 00:48:20:02
Isabel
So often when something triggers me and since I've done anything wrong again I'll go back and do you know the clearing of it?
00:48:20:03 - 00:48:21:02
Chris
Yeah.
00:48:21:04 - 00:48:41:23
Isabel
And I love being able to do that so often. You know, if something hasn't always been I think, well, why has it annoyed me? Then I go back and do the clearing. But this might be another way of doing it, too. You know, when it's not necessarily a huge thing or it might be a huge thing, but I can give myself permission to say I am good enough to me.
00:48:42:05 - 00:48:48:07
Isabel
And it goes my legs and it goes there, my up into my arms and up into my head and my heart.
00:48:48:07 - 00:48:51:00
Chris
And awesome.
00:48:51:02 - 00:48:57:15
Isabel
Diffuses a light. And it is just.
00:48:57:17 - 00:49:01:12
Isabel
That's that's amazing. So it's going to go into it.
00:49:01:14 - 00:49:29:23
Chris
I love it. And then and then when it comes to installing a new behaviour, when it comes to talking to your husband around, specifically around money, but I'm sure it'll be other things as well. How are you going to be different? You know, what's the what's the new version of Isabel going to be like when, when when he opens his mouth and has a conversation with you?
00:49:30:01 - 00:49:35:08
Chris
What's he going to notice about you that's different?
00:49:35:10 - 00:49:39:06
Isabel
Yeah, that's going to be.
00:49:39:08 - 00:49:48:09
Isabel
I can't using it. That's the trouble. Indigenous.
00:49:48:11 - 00:49:52:23
Isabel
My stomach open up to.
00:49:53:01 - 00:50:00:23
Isabel
I don't usually do that. I usually, you know, something upsets me. What?
00:50:01:01 - 00:50:13:01
Chris
Is that. And so so if I'm reading between the lines. Yeah. You kind of you, you kind of want to sit on this. Is that what you. That's what you're saying?
00:50:13:03 - 00:50:16:20
Isabel
I am saying that. Yeah. Sit on it first.
00:50:16:22 - 00:50:17:13
Chris
Yeah.
00:50:17:13 - 00:50:28:20
Isabel
And and I do think that things have improved anyway, but they have improved it slowly. And perhaps Bruce hasn't noticed. I go again, but anyway.
00:50:28:22 - 00:50:33:06
Chris
All right. Well.
00:50:33:08 - 00:50:37:19
Chris
The the the.
00:50:37:21 - 00:51:02:15
Chris
The mindfulness piece would be what you're what you're up to right now. It's about just being mindful of how you speak about yourself, what you believe about yourself, being mindful about how you speak about your husband, what you believe about your husband. Being mindful of how you're feeling.
00:51:02:17 - 00:51:13:02
Chris
And him how he's feeling. What he's thinking. Having some empathy. Also being mindful of any sort of apology that you need to one give yourself.
00:51:13:04 - 00:51:14:08
Isabel
Yeah.
00:51:14:10 - 00:51:22:12
Chris
You know, you slipped into an old way of believing just before you believed you weren't good enough. And that's that's not very nice.
00:51:22:14 - 00:51:24:09
Isabel
Yeah, yeah.
00:51:24:10 - 00:51:40:13
Chris
And then you also had some perceptions and beliefs about your husband. Poor Bruce copped it. Maybe not physically or literally, but emotionally there was a vibe. So there's some apologies in there that that are required.
00:51:40:15 - 00:51:44:06
Isabel
Yeah, I love that.
00:51:44:08 - 00:51:55:11
Isabel
I need those words. I, I knew you were looking for something.
00:51:55:13 - 00:52:15:09
Chris
That's okay. And. Yeah. And so that mindful mindfulness piece is, is that's where you're at now. And just taking taking that with you anchoring that into being different.
00:52:15:11 - 00:52:18:18
Isabel
I'm going to put that into a formation I think.
00:52:18:19 - 00:52:23:04
Chris
Awesome.
00:52:23:06 - 00:52:23:12
Chris
Yeah.
00:52:23:13 - 00:52:28:06
Isabel
Cool a really good one.
00:52:28:07 - 00:52:37:00
Isabel
You know you think about montanus as a word. It's a great way to be.
00:52:37:01 - 00:52:52:18
Chris
The opposite mind mindlessness or or empty mind. You know, when we're not conscious, we're not thinking, we're not embodied.
00:52:52:20 - 00:52:58:18
Isabel
But you can apply to every aspect of your dealings with other people.
00:52:58:20 - 00:53:02:19
Chris
Oh, yeah.
00:53:02:21 - 00:53:04:07
Chris
For sure.
00:53:04:09 - 00:53:07:09
Isabel
Thank you.
00:53:07:11 - 00:53:08:18
Isabel
All right.
00:53:08:20 - 00:53:16:23
Chris
Well, do you feel like you've got you've got some, some, some use out of our time today.
00:53:17:01 - 00:53:20:12
Isabel
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
00:53:20:18 - 00:53:23:08
Chris
No worries. Well.
00:53:23:09 - 00:53:30:12
Isabel
Always get so much out of a session. Wish I could do more regularly.
00:53:30:14 - 00:53:31:23
Isabel
Anyway.
00:53:32:01 - 00:53:41:14
Chris
All right. Well. Oh no worries. All good. All right. Well, I'll love you and leave you. And I hope you have the best day ever.
00:53:41:16 - 00:53:42:12
Isabel
Thank you.
00:53:42:18 - 00:53:43:22
Chris
Alrighty.
00:53:44:00 - 00:53:45:00
Isabel
Great. Thank you.
00:53:45:04 - 00:53:49:14
Chris
See you later. See ya.
00:53:49:16 - 00:53:59:16
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:53:59:21 - 00:54:18:09
Chris
You can also rate your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about our group or one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
