00:00:01:13 - 00:00:34:18
Filly
Hello beautiful people. This is Filly here and I have got a really special announcement to make. So after 5 or 6 months of really intensely dreaming about putting on a retreat for our community, and if I'm being honest, it has been about 5 or 6 years of dreaming in the making. Chris and I are super excited to announce that we are holding the Body Nose Retreat on the 14th to 16th of August, 2026.
00:00:34:18 - 00:01:04:02
Filly
This year, and this ending body burn out experience will create the space for you to go deeply inwards, to listen to the messages from your body, and to take aligned action to move forward in your health and your life. I'm getting goosebumps. Just thinking about it is going to be so wonderful. Having a group of self-heal is in the same room, taking aligned action.
00:01:04:03 - 00:01:37:18
Filly
What does the retreat look like? Think body mind Rick calls coaching Chris and Filly style trauma informed somatic practices and breathwork. Sound healing, nourishing, wholesome nutrition is created. Food luxury accommodation overlooking the wild Tasmanian ocean. Plus it's so much more. So we would love you to join us in the beautiful North West Tasmania at the award winning venue, The Cove.
00:01:37:20 - 00:02:11:16
Filly
This venue is stunning. It is perched at the top of the most stunning coastal cliff, looking out over the wild ocean with paddocks of goats and alpacas and Highland cows roaming in the background. And there's even little penguins that come off on to the the beach at night. And so we would love you to invite you into this sacred space for a weekend of deep connection with self, the land and sea and community.
00:02:11:18 - 00:02:34:22
Filly
So if you'd like to learn a bit more about the retreat, just head down to the link below. There'll be a link called the Body Noise Retreat. Check it out. We would love to see you there. Live in person and I'm really excited about giving you a cuddle in real life if you like cuddles. If not, we can do a high five.
00:02:35:00 - 00:02:47:03
Filly
All right, my loves. We'll see you in the episode.
00:02:47:05 - 00:03:00:21
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Body Burn Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Phile, co-founders of a multi-award winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood, and gut issues.
00:03:00:22 - 00:03:08:18
Filly
Well, busyness, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal, and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:03:08:23 - 00:03:22:02
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:03:22:02 - 00:03:30:05
Filly
Sorry. Get ready to heal your body. Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:03:30:08 - 00:03:38:21
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:03:38:23 - 00:03:49:04
Chris
Guys, and welcome to this episode of the Ending Body Burn Out show. Today, silly and I are going to give some personal experiences, aren't we?
00:03:49:04 - 00:04:16:19
Filly
Yeah, so we had Inside Out program the ending body burn out method. We hold weekly workshops with our clients. It was a little while back, but we had a client ask us a question around how we regulate in our daily lives when we feel a disturbance within. And we talked about it with our clients in our workshop, but we thought we'd really flesh it out in the podcast today, because I think it'll be fun to do.
00:04:16:20 - 00:04:35:16
Filly
And yeah, hopefully there'll be some little gems, little pieces of inspiration that you can try on and try implementing in your own life as well. Or it might just be a reminder to lean into some of these regulation tools and practices that we're going to talk about today. Shall we dive in?
00:04:35:18 - 00:04:38:17
Chris
Let's dive in. What then?
00:04:38:19 - 00:05:14:20
Filly
Okay, so before we talk about our practices, first, I thought I'd just do a little bit of one on one on nervous system and nervous system regulation. Sorry. Stress is, real. And having a regulated nervous system is an inbuilt capacity that we have. We're all born with where we can return back to a state of calm. Now, of course, things can happen in the womb and through birth and childhood that can impact the nervous system.
00:05:14:22 - 00:05:39:08
Filly
But essentially, humans have this inbuilt capacity to return back to a state of calm or over time if there's been a lot of chronic stress. So that's where the nervous system can get stuck in either fight or flight, or if it's been in that state for long enough, you can drop down into what's called functional freeze, or you can bounce around between the two.
00:05:39:10 - 00:06:14:10
Filly
So there's a bit of a myth that a regulated nervous system is always calm and chill and flow for for some of our clients, this comes as a bit of a shock when they realise that this actually isn't the end game. I thought these two. So when are we really diving into deeper metaphysical healing subconscious reprogramming? I thought, like, I really thought that I would get to a point where, even when things were happening around me, I would always feel calm and chill and in flow.
00:06:14:12 - 00:06:34:04
Filly
So it was a bit of a shock to me, too, when I'm like, I've done all this work and I'm still having some sensations in my body or thoughts in my mind, or emotions showing up in my body. So yeah, it isn't me that is not the end game. We're still human beings, we're still responding to stresses.
00:06:34:04 - 00:07:05:03
Filly
And it's really important that we do that because sometimes some of those stresses might actually be unsafe, or they might be trying to tell you that, you know what, you might be heading down burnout again. Let's come back to a place of alignment. So these sensations that we get a really helpful, and you can also improve your window of tolerance so that it's happening less.
00:07:05:05 - 00:07:30:02
Filly
Well, at the, the nervous system responses that you might be happening that you might be experiencing, or mild, subtle, and you're able to be more flexible with them and essentially retrain your nervous system to return back to a state of calm. So essentially, a healthy nervous system is able to move through all of these responses. It can get stuck.
00:07:30:03 - 00:07:55:08
Filly
It can, move up into fight flight. It can also drop down into freeze sometimes when you're really low, when you sad, when you're grieving. And it can also return to its just right state rather than staying up in fight or flight, or being stuck in freeze, or just bouncing around the two and never really feeling like you're in a just right state for a prolonged period of time.
00:07:55:08 - 00:08:31:18
Filly
So this is what a healthy nervous system is. The regulated nervous system is also not only helping us to return back to our just right state, but it also conditions our body to react to stress more appropriately on an ongoing basis. So then it is expanding our window of tolerance so we can live a bigger life. I was talking to a client, yesterday who is recovering from chronic fatigue and chronic body pain and, low mood depression.
00:08:31:20 - 00:08:50:15
Filly
He's doing really great, and feeling so much better within himself. And his energy levels are picking up. But he was kind of like. But at the moment I'm not working full time. I'm only working casually or part time. So, you know, I'm kind of I have this fear of like, when I work full time, I'm, am I just going to crash again?
00:08:50:15 - 00:09:23:13
Filly
And it's like, well, yeah, potentially if you jump straight back into more, capacity work on a day to day basis, then yeah, there might be a crash. But what you want to do is support the nervous system. So over time it's like very expanding that window of tolerance. So over time you're able to do more, be more experience more, feel more without crashing, or getting stuck in fight flight.
00:09:23:15 - 00:09:49:03
Filly
And so again, like when we think about that, a healthy nervous system helps you to operate at a high performance level, and it also helps you to drop down into deep rest. So I know that there's a lot of people out there who are actually operating at a high performance level, and maybe you might not be in the depths of body burnout yet, but there might be some signs moving there.
00:09:49:05 - 00:10:13:08
Filly
But if you're someone who's operating at a high performance performance level, but you're struggling to drop down into deep rest, that's a dysregulated nervous system. So having a healthy nervous system allows you to, to perform at a high level, but it also allows you to, like, swing all the way back down and deeply rest and relax and chill.
00:10:13:10 - 00:10:35:23
Filly
And you will probably have signs of if you struggle to do that, if it's kind of like I'm on a holiday and I still need to, like, keep busy and do all the things, or I'm trying to meditate or whatever it is, and my mind is buzzing like, my body feels agitated. It's also having a healthy nervous system is also knowing when you need to drop it down a notch, too.
00:10:35:23 - 00:10:57:22
Filly
So if you are operating at a high performance level, it's being able to be really in tune with the cues that your mind and your body is sending you so that you can adapt and be flexible and drop it down a notch or, you know, drop back into that deep rest so that you know your cup is in full again and you can continue going.
00:10:58:00 - 00:11:39:23
Filly
So with all that in mind, this is how Chris and I nurture ourselves on a daily basis so we can still perform at a high level experience or rest. And what we do when we are feeling a disturbance or a dysregulation in the mind, in the body. And I've broken it down into a few sections. So I thought we would start off with daily rituals and routines as well, because if we just jump straight into, well, this is what I do like when I feel disturbed or triggered, without the context of how personally like I live my life in order to then be able to respond to a disturbance.
00:11:40:01 - 00:12:02:10
Filly
These daily rituals and routines are foundational for being able to respond in a healthy way. If I wasn't doing these, I'd be like a crazy woman. So for me, and as I am talking about my healthy routines, rituals and then I'm going to pass it over to you, Chris, to chat about yours. Easy. And we're both very different as well.
00:12:02:10 - 00:12:34:23
Filly
So I think that you learn a lot that there's not one way of doing anything. So I say, first of all, like a healthy lifestyle is really important for me. So that would look like eating healthy regular meals 80 to 90% of the time, including treats. I love treats. If you want to listen to a whole podcast episode around what I eat in a day, that is an episode I think it's called what Phile or a functional medicine practitioner eats in a day.
00:12:35:01 - 00:12:57:00
Filly
Can't remember what, number it is, but we can put it in the show notes. Sleep is also really important to me, so I average about nine hours and sleep at night. And I and I really value that sometimes it might be a little bit less, maybe eight. Sometimes it can even be ten. Good, solid ten hours of sleep is amazing.
00:12:57:02 - 00:13:22:15
Filly
And I don't do elaborate sleep routine procedure to be able to do that. It's just become a habit, I guess. Like I go to sleep, turn off the lights around ten, 1030, wake up usually between 7 and 8 a.m. most of the time that is just allowing my body to wake myself up. Naturally. Sometimes it's an alarm at seven, in case, you know, I need to get to the clinic early.
00:13:22:17 - 00:13:47:16
Filly
Movement is really important for me, so I most things that I do is pretty low, intensity exercise. So I walk 4 or 5 times a week. In summer I'll go swimming in the ocean and sunbathing. Not that that's exercise or movement that I don't know. There's just something that feel that gives me the same experience in my body when I'm lying in the sand, adding nature.
00:13:47:17 - 00:14:10:21
Filly
So good. And then hiking, there's no consistency there. Sometimes it might be every week, sometimes it might be once a month. We haven't. We went on a longer walk, just recently, but previous to that, we hadn't before Christmas because we had a lot going on extra curricular stuff. And also like, yeah, just supporting my lymphatic system.
00:14:10:21 - 00:14:28:04
Filly
So daily lymph glove brushing, I have a sauna once a week. So that kind of like my healthy lifestyle foundations that make up rituals and routines that help to support my physical body, which is also supporting my nervous system. What about you, Chris?
00:14:28:07 - 00:14:49:18
Chris
Yeah. So I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I kind of my routine is not normal to to many people. I think I've said this once before about my cousin Tim, one of my best friends in the world. Hey, Tim. You know, he said once to me, Chris, you really got to work on your time management.
00:14:49:18 - 00:15:15:01
Chris
You do so many things and, so he's probably he probably hit the nail on the head, to be honest. But but I am interested in so many things I as multi potential. I and someone with who is a bit neuro spicy, somebody like myself is interested in stuff. I'm very curious. I love the way the world works and I'm very interested in the way the world works.
00:15:15:01 - 00:15:29:17
Chris
I'm very interested in how you work and how I work and, I'm very passionate, very interested. And, and that can become that's a that's a great superpower. But it's also my greatest.
00:15:29:18 - 00:15:30:12
Filly
Vulnerability.
00:15:30:12 - 00:15:41:09
Chris
Vulnerability. And yeah, it's a double edged sword for sure, because because I get into so much stuff. I wrote down some things after talking to a podcast, interview just before.
00:15:41:11 - 00:15:47:00
Filly
With Doctor Amy. You would have listened to her last week if you listen to our podcast every week.
00:15:47:02 - 00:16:08:15
Chris
Yeah. So. Hey, doctor Amy, this is not specifically what we talked about with you, but. But while you were talking to, I was, for those of you who've watched the video or listened to it, you'll notice that I didn't say anything. It's because I was madly, like, scribbling down notes and ideas and thoughts. So I'm off camera the whole interview and I filled up like a couple of pages in my notebook.
00:16:08:15 - 00:16:32:13
Chris
It was it was a really cool conversation that Filly had, and I kind of was inspired. Anyway, I did, and so what I wrote down was people get interested in so many things, like if you're if you're like me, I get interested in so many things. But I also have my attention on so many things. So therefore that's why I call that breaths.
00:16:32:18 - 00:16:54:06
Chris
So I'm interested in lots of things and my attention is on lots of things, breaths. But I also have some some stuff around perfectionism and other patterns. Like I want to be, good at what I do and blah blah blah blah. So I want to go deep into stuff. My problem is, and I'm getting to my routine in a second.
00:16:54:08 - 00:17:17:02
Chris
This is really important. So breadth and depth can wear me thin. I get very stretched. So when I have to add something into my routine, it's another thing. And sometimes I can silly would you would say sometimes like Chris, can you pick the thing up or do the thing? I'm just being like a couple of like.
00:17:17:02 - 00:17:30:00
Filly
In the or the junk that was sitting on the dining room? No, I say I got Poppy to move it today because it's been three weeks and you still hadn't moved it. And so Poppy had the day off from school today. Well, I'm like, I'll put you to work, girlfriend. Yeah.
00:17:30:02 - 00:17:36:10
Chris
Anyway, so the perfectionist in me just like went, yeah, but where did she put all my like the things that I don't care.
00:17:36:10 - 00:17:38:06
Filly
It's out of my space.
00:17:38:07 - 00:17:39:12
Chris
Cool. Okay. In the.
00:17:39:12 - 00:17:40:02
Filly
Couch.
00:17:40:03 - 00:17:45:13
Chris
We'll talk about this. So, where was I going with this?
00:17:45:15 - 00:17:50:18
Filly
It's if you have breadth and depth, you get stretched thin. So if you add something else into.
00:17:50:19 - 00:17:53:16
Chris
Oh, yeah, like, you could get, like, silly. Could ask.
00:17:53:16 - 00:17:54:18
Filly
Me speculation.
00:17:54:19 - 00:18:11:06
Chris
Silly could ask me something and it would be just like an extra thing. And I'm just like, I don't have time for this. I don't have energy capacity for this. It's because in that moment, no, that's actually honest truth. And my cousin Tim would look at that and he would look at that and just say, you really need to work out your time management.
00:18:11:08 - 00:18:14:20
Chris
Maybe, but in that moment, I need less of it.
00:18:14:20 - 00:18:17:20
Filly
I don't say that to you anymore because.
00:18:17:22 - 00:18:18:10
Chris
Good girl.
00:18:18:11 - 00:18:19:04
Filly
I you're.
00:18:19:04 - 00:18:19:17
Chris
Well trained.
00:18:19:21 - 00:18:23:13
Filly
Know that your brain is not okay. Like saying that.
00:18:23:16 - 00:18:43:02
Chris
I'm not in that moment. I'm disregulated. And so what I need in that moment is to to, like a rubber band is stretched. I need to come back in. And so here's a couple of the things that I, I do to, stretch, to unwind. Does it makes it like that really resonates with me. I'm wound tight.
00:18:43:02 - 00:19:13:18
Chris
I'm stretched. So to come back down, I. I like to get out into the sun. As much as I possibly can. And that means, direct sunlight. So that's no clothes on, if appropriate, or pats mean a very minimum undies. Yeah. Like, I'm I'm serious. I'm like, out, out in it. So, I've had a couple of close calls with Australia Post that.
00:19:13:20 - 00:19:30:14
Chris
Anyway, I also like to get some steps, but not when I'm super wound up. I have to have like a little bit of a pre walk mental routine where I kind of get all my ducks in a line and then I can step out the door. Also make sure that I have some sort of, a shower.
00:19:30:19 - 00:19:32:14
Chris
I feel like if I.
00:19:32:16 - 00:19:38:05
Filly
Actually ciao is really important for you to see, thinking you're a little bit sweaty, you get really stressed out.
00:19:38:05 - 00:19:40:07
Chris
I'm I, I definitely.
00:19:40:07 - 00:19:43:07
Filly
So shower is like good healthy food for me.
00:19:43:09 - 00:20:02:02
Chris
Yes. For me if I don't have like a really nice shower and I'm not talking about a cold shower or any of that to me nonsense. To you, like it might be really valuable to to have is listening here, but for me, I'm just not into it. I just, I used to try, but but I feel better with it.
00:20:02:03 - 00:20:28:17
Chris
Yeah. Felt forced. And, even in this podcast, back in the early, early years, I might have mentioned about cold showers and stuff like that, but I just feel like it was I was missing out on something really relaxing and and important to me, which is a nice warm shower where I can stare at the wall and my brain can think about zombies and dragons and, business and family and myself and all that.
00:20:28:17 - 00:21:00:04
Chris
So stuff. Anyway, shows are really important. Also really value, breathing. And sometimes when I'm feeling very anxious, I'm feeling like I'm, I'm concerning. I'm thinking about things that are outside of my capacity and my my direct control. I'll do a little test and I'll cover one nostril. I'm not pinching it. I'm not pressing. I'm just I just put a little the light cap on it and do I get air just without forcing a breath in, you know, for forced.
00:21:00:06 - 00:21:23:21
Chris
Of course I'll get air in, but can I just get passive breathing through that nostril? Like, even right now, I'm probably riding at about, I say five out of ten. This one's probably about a four. So that's like out of a possible 20. I'm riding on a nine. Sometimes I'll do the test on my old zero. I'm not getting a single scare of air.
00:21:23:23 - 00:21:50:02
Chris
Oh wow. I'm like a one. And surprise, surprise, I feel anxious because I'm working intensely hard to, like, breathe. So I'll slap on one of these nose strips and I'm like, oh, it's orgasmic. Like I really, honestly, it's like I feel such a thrill because I'm getting air into my body and it's just like, oh my gosh, this is amazing.
00:21:50:05 - 00:21:57:22
Filly
So in the way that doing lymphatic brushing feels really good for me, your nose strips at the equator. Oh.
00:21:58:00 - 00:22:18:19
Chris
It's like I'm just it just how nice is it to be able to breathe? That might sound really weird if you don't have a breathing constriction. Look up. My nose is being broken in and I feel like this is this is something that I could surgically, potentially do things, but I'd rather, you know, for less money and for, less invasion.
00:22:18:20 - 00:22:51:01
Chris
I can just slap one of these adhesives on for me, it works. Anyway. Breath breathing, little nostril check. That is critical for me. That has so much impact on my on my mood. You got the. I want to say something face. No. Okay. I also feel like if I don't have water jinx.
00:22:51:03 - 00:23:19:21
Chris
So I, I got a gift from my from my brother in law. Some sparkle sparkler ization. So. So I love to have filtered mineral water. Sparkling. I think I said that in reverse. Sparkling, filtered mineral water changes my mood so quickly. That's a massive pop when I'm feeling a bit anxious or worried or, you know, palpitations or something like that.
00:23:19:21 - 00:23:49:02
Chris
I'm like, oh, what's happening here? Physical wise? I'm like, I'm going to have a drink of water. It's so it's it's it might sound weird, but that is so important to me. I also feel like if I don't get a chance to get out into my garden and have a little putter around and pick up some grubs and, and have a little poke around and, ooh, like my youngest, both of us, I mean, you like you you don't.
00:23:49:02 - 00:24:06:19
Chris
You're not averse to the garden, but you, you know, it's like you and I mostly are in the garden together. Yeah. So to Elsie, I'll be like, Elsie, Elsie, come quick. And she go, what? What? I'll be like, check this out. A little fig figs are growing. We got a little tiny figs. And she's like, yeah. Oh yeah.
00:24:06:19 - 00:24:26:15
Chris
And we just get so excited when there's like a little bit of growth of, like, Elsie the Capsicums are shooting up. Oh, wow. Yeah. Dog for me through the roof. Garden. I also feel like if I don't get a chance to talk, if I don't get a chance to express myself, I.
00:24:26:17 - 00:24:32:16
Filly
That why you break through last night. We have a rule. No talking about business before bed.
00:24:32:17 - 00:24:35:15
Chris
But I had something like, really interesting. What did I even say?
00:24:35:15 - 00:24:50:08
Filly
Well, I know why. Because there were two times throughout that day that you tried to talk to me about it. And both times when appropriate, like we're about to start a team meeting and then something else happened. And then at night time, Chris is like, I need to tell you something.
00:24:50:08 - 00:24:53:09
Chris
I can't even remember what I said. It was something. It was just it was just.
00:24:53:09 - 00:24:55:18
Filly
As an experience. Yeah, yeah. The coaching session.
00:24:55:18 - 00:25:07:15
Chris
Yeah. And, had a really cool experience with, with one of my clients. Nothing life changing or any, you know, probably was I can't even remember what I talked about because it.
00:25:07:19 - 00:25:08:07
Filly
Was.
00:25:08:09 - 00:25:26:20
Chris
Like, I got it off my head, off my chest, you know, out of my head, off my chest, listen to my gut, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, who who could do that? I mean, if you do a podcast listener out here, I'd be talking to myself. Phil, he's not here. I would literally just be either journaling it or writing notes or scribbling on my whiteboard.
00:25:27:01 - 00:25:55:08
Filly
It. Well, it's so funny because if I had been talking all day and that might be with clients, it might be like a social thing. It might be with our youngest, who is a total duck, duck, duck, duck, duck duck. It's like I need silence. I need just me and I would be okay. Yeah. With a full day of not talking to anyone multiple days, I could easily do a silent retreat.
00:25:55:09 - 00:26:25:03
Chris
I would get to the silent or trade. I'd be like, so what are the rules again? Oh, nice. Okay, okay. So can I get talk when I'm back in my my own room by myself? Okay. I'm cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Can I you know, I need to express myself somehow, some way. So that's either through, through family, loved ones, journal coaching, whatever.
00:26:25:05 - 00:26:55:07
Chris
I also find a lot of expression in my hobbies that that I've found. I, I've always been into it. And just of lately, after some coaching, I've realised, man, yeah, I really leaned out of this for a long time and went into sport. But but now I'm kind of coming full circle. Back when I was a young lad, I used to always sing, perform, but then kind of started getting bigger and faster and taller than everybody else.
00:26:55:07 - 00:27:25:02
Chris
So got into sport. Anyway, my hobbies these days, drama, reading about drama, professionalism around performance, singing, being coordinated and dancing. That's a work in progress, for sure. Guitar, piano. Yeah. I've. I've, on a desk. I've got a piano that I've been. I've just taught myself how to play the piano in the last couple of weeks.
00:27:25:02 - 00:27:52:19
Chris
A month. Sorry. Learning how to sing, play the guitar, play the piano, or this sort of stuff. I'm not doing what I'm interested in. I'm not the best version of myself. If I am not living on purpose, I'm unhappy. If I don't get a chance to play sport with my friends, my brothers in law. I'm, being physical some sort of way.
00:27:52:19 - 00:28:13:00
Chris
I'm not having a good time. So, I also make sure that my environment is set up for success. And this is where it bites me in the back. If I'm a little bit spread too thin. I need to make sure that I've got what I need to be able to be who I am. And what's important to me.
00:28:13:03 - 00:28:18:18
Chris
But. Yeah, that's that's that's Chris. So, you're listening to this and you're probably thinking, Holy cow. So you like that?
00:28:18:18 - 00:28:20:15
Filly
Is this is this like a lot of things?
00:28:20:16 - 00:28:29:01
Chris
Yeah, but that's not all in one day. That is like a little ceaseless sprinkle, like a walk into my day and I'll be like,
00:28:29:03 - 00:28:38:14
Filly
And some time today and sometimes you'll get over something as well. Like you are very, very into hiking which I'm really sad that that's name 80.
00:28:38:16 - 00:28:41:05
Chris
I wouldn't say. Well I think over.
00:28:41:07 - 00:28:45:03
Filly
In terms of like needing to go every or wanting to go every week.
00:28:45:05 - 00:28:48:00
Chris
Well I, I yeah I think, I think
00:28:48:02 - 00:28:48:13
Filly
So there's.
00:28:48:15 - 00:28:51:02
Chris
This other things that I do on the weekend.
00:28:51:05 - 00:28:53:19
Filly
Yeah. Exactly. So there's just kind of like ebbs and flows.
00:28:53:21 - 00:28:55:21
Chris
I take offence to your wedding.
00:28:55:23 - 00:28:57:02
Filly
As.
00:28:57:04 - 00:28:58:20
Chris
I'm taking that seasonal.
00:28:58:22 - 00:29:02:23
Filly
Well, I take it personal because I'm like, oh, I would go out.
00:29:03:01 - 00:29:03:23
Chris
I'm just kidding us.
00:29:04:00 - 00:29:11:17
Filly
And, you know, I would just climb a mountain by myself, me and my oldest would like, she's like, dad needs to come. I don't trust your mom.
00:29:11:19 - 00:29:12:14
Chris
Dad's got.
00:29:12:16 - 00:29:26:01
Filly
You. Get a small. I'm like, come on. Okay, so there's a few other things. My intention was we broke it off into, like, healthy lifestyle. How we spend that time and then,
00:29:26:03 - 00:29:29:00
Chris
How I run Joe layout to know how I just.
00:29:29:00 - 00:29:49:13
Filly
Mentally how we do daily inner work. And Chris is just basically covered all bases. So I'll talk about my stuff again. So in terms of time, like my, my me time is really important. And if I don't get that just in the same way that Chris was talking about, if there's too much breadth and depth, he gets stretched thin.
00:29:49:15 - 00:30:16:17
Filly
If I don't have me time because I've put too much into the day in usually like work or responsibility stuff, then I will not be a happy person. So this like regularly looks like and I'm not doing again, all of these things every day. But there is something happening every day. It will either be the beach or bush walks, listening to podcasts, watching, reading, listening to something that gets my creative juices flowing.
00:30:16:17 - 00:30:42:23
Filly
And that could be anything to do with health or business or creativity. I found that I didn't have a lot of time to do that kind of over the Christmas period, because we went on a camp trip for four weeks. And so, you know, the whole family was together, then we came back and straight into lunch. I found that that was really that was lacking in my daily rhythm.
00:30:42:23 - 00:31:05:16
Filly
And it was making me very sad. My soul was not happy, and my creative juices were just like, sizzling away. So that was a cool like recent learning that I personally need to engage with. It might be like a webinar, it might be a podcast, it might be a book, whatever it is that is just like, oh yeah, it gets me in the game.
00:31:05:18 - 00:31:28:15
Filly
Netflix. Watching a TV show or a movie is something that I do on a daily basis as well, and I love it. If the above isn't happening on a daily basis, at least one or a multiple of those things, that's when I feel stretched and pulled and my window of tolerance lessens. I, I am a creature of habit.
00:31:28:15 - 00:32:02:23
Filly
We have, I guess, like we call some people salamanders and some people cats. Mostly. When it comes to eating, we have different meal plans, and it's like a cat is someone who loves variety. A salamander is someone who likes the same. Same. So I'm probably more like a salamander. The same same. But if I don't get a slice of variety, fun, adventure at least once a week, then I feel like again, like I'm getting stretched or I just feel discordance in my system.
00:32:02:23 - 00:32:27:11
Filly
It's like, oh, I want something different because everything's getting a bit same, same. So that might look like a longer hike. So family outings, just randomly getting a massage, just for fun, going to a lovely cafe, singing, dancing or in a musical at the moment. So we're getting a lot of that throughout the week. Sometimes it's even just cooking something that I've never cooked before, creating a recipe.
00:32:27:13 - 00:32:42:02
Filly
Sometimes it's going to the cinema or the theatre or a family get together. So something that lights me up beyond the daily rituals, that adds a little bit more, either variety or adventure, into the day to day life.
00:32:42:04 - 00:32:53:04
Chris
We didn't make that salamander and cat thing up. I got that from my friend and mentor, Mark Buckley. FMA Strength Institute, if you want to check me out. Oh, lots of cool stuff.
00:32:53:06 - 00:33:27:11
Filly
And in order for me to be able to do that with my time, I also have made sure that I have boundaries around how much I work. So, for example, 1 to 1 consults coaching sessions like my average is around 20 hours. That feels really good. It's also my max. So if I tape beyond that and I've done it multiple times and my body and my mind have always said no, similar like when we're recording podcast having or doing like a media interview or recording videos, I kind of time block that.
00:33:27:11 - 00:33:59:04
Filly
So it's done on a Tuesday. On a Wednesday, I generally start working after the kids get home. That's often when I might go for a walk, cook dinner. Just kind of like, plod along. And Fridays is usually a bit more of a flexible, watch based day, as well as the weekends. So I think that it's important that we share that, because if we just went into like, oh, well, when we get a disturbance, this is what we do to self-regulate.
00:33:59:04 - 00:34:00:16
Chris
Oh, what a disturbance.
00:34:00:17 - 00:34:25:21
Filly
I just feel triggered. The like and this is a conversation that I have with clients a lot is it's like, oh, I'm doing all the things I'm doing the practice is like, I listen, I had this signal pop up and I did this meditation, or I did this affirmation did did did do do do, and you know, that's all great and lovely.
00:34:25:21 - 00:34:46:09
Filly
But also if you're not living your life in a way that supports you to be the person that you want to be, then all the protocols or the practices that you're doing, they're not going to get you the results that you want. They they are what I would call the cherry on the top. And inner works really important to me.
00:34:46:09 - 00:35:21:00
Filly
So for me, again, like if I'm thinking about this is a ritual routine, I get monthly one on one coaching sessions with my own coach. I also have conversations with Chris sometimes I request it, sometimes it is done without permission, that I need it for my growth and to have the conversation that hasn't been said, and on a daily basis, just constantly being in tune with my body, my unconscious mind, my heart, like constantly asking myself, what do I want?
00:35:21:00 - 00:35:48:08
Filly
Or what do you need? Or what do you want? And am working towards giving myself that? It looks less like in the morning I wake up and I do journaling and then I'll do a breathwork session. It's kind of like I feel like my inner work now these days is a lot more organic. It's just happening as I am living and being, and I do have structured coaching sessions regularly, regularly.
00:35:48:08 - 00:36:15:12
Filly
And I will also, you know, usually weekly, sometimes more or less do some sort of somatic or unconscious change practice that might look like meditation or, you know, we have some beautiful local practitioners that do breathwork and sound healing. And, you know, it's looking to one of those if there's like a half a day workshop or something where I can just have that space to be and just allow things to move through me.
00:36:15:17 - 00:36:36:14
Chris
Can I just set about this? We have a thing called The Perfect Week, and this is something that stresses a lot of people out. It brings people a lot of tension and frustration. And so when when someone wants to think about, you know, I want to I want to have these things happen in my week. I want these things to.
00:36:36:18 - 00:37:00:15
Chris
And, you know, at this time, I do this this time, this time, this time, you know, this is a perfect week. It's like time blocking. However, for someone who's already stretched so thin to to plug stuff in, it's really overwhelming when someone's got low capacity and then they, they think I should be adding more stuff and I should be doing this.
00:37:00:21 - 00:37:15:18
Chris
I need to be getting this done. Or expert A, B, or C said, that I need to have this in my life. I need to be doing this. That can really overwhelming nervous system that's already on edge, right?
00:37:15:20 - 00:37:33:04
Filly
Yeah, I'm actually thinking about that. Like I mentioned, I'll do some sort of weekly practice. That is not in my day. I mean, like if I've, I've booked into it and I've paid for an experience, it will be in my diary. But if it's done on my own accord, I'm just kind of doing it based on like, do I need this today?
00:37:33:04 - 00:38:02:23
Filly
Do I want this today? Whereas I know, like what Chris was saying, I that was a real I thought it was a weakness. I'm like, I'm really bad at doing this stuff. Like I can rationalise and logic my way and reframe and do all that, like actually comes a lot easier. But to be quiet and still. And so I had in my mind in the past that I needed to do like a daily meditation or a daily breathwork session, and it just felt really forced.
00:38:02:23 - 00:38:33:03
Filly
I felt really forced. It was just another thing that I had to add to my to do list. Whereas the more organic you can be, find what you love as well. Like when Chris was talking about all his passions and all the things that he loves to do, I mean, that gardening, acting, whatever it is like, if it is passionate and it's good for you and for the rest of the world in some way, shape or form, that's going to be healing as well.
00:38:33:05 - 00:38:53:21
Filly
It doesn't have to look like a structured thing that the guru on Instagram or the influencer says you should. Doing every day. And the moment that I let that go and I'm like, I don't actually need to do anything regularly, all I need. And this is why the question for myself, what do I need? What do I want?
00:38:53:21 - 00:38:54:11
Chris
Yeah, this.
00:38:54:15 - 00:39:04:16
Filly
Is my guiding star to to decide how I use my time and what I do in order to to nourish and love myself. I'm going the best.
00:39:04:18 - 00:39:33:05
Chris
I'm going to do it. Okay. Andrew Huberman is bringing, popularity to one of the most underrated things, in the past. And nervous system, making sure your, your neurology is, you know, about it, the science and things like that. I also think he's one of the worst people to listen to when you're burned out. I just find that that when he brings studies, I wonder if anyone will tag him.
00:39:33:07 - 00:40:00:22
Chris
I just feel like. Where is this pea on Chris? Chris? Bullet? You know, I just feel like some of his advice or the advice that people will latch on to. Number one, his podcasts are information loaded. And for someone who's burned out like you, you are already loaded up with stuff. You're stretched thin. So to have more information and to have more science can overwhelm your nervous system, which is already overwhelmed already.
00:40:00:22 - 00:40:24:22
Chris
And number two, he will give you protocol and protocol and protocol, which is great and fantastic. But he doesn't know you. He doesn't know who you are. And so for the popular masses, his information is fantastic and great. But for when you're burned out, I think it's the worst information to try and dive into. And I think it's better to find out where you are at right now.
00:40:24:22 - 00:40:48:03
Chris
And rather than getting stuck up should creek without a paddle, I should be doing this and I should be doing that. Where, you how are you right now? What's your location on this on this experience that you're in right now? What do you need? And then go from there. Don't reach out to experts. Heck, don't even listen to what I'm saying.
00:40:48:03 - 00:41:23:01
Chris
Just because I'm saying it. Have some, have some intuition. Sorry. You have intuition. Connect with your intuition and listen to yourself. Notice what you actually need and I just feel like if you can, that is going to solve all the problems in the world. I believe it. If you really just listen to what's what your intuition is telling you and connect with, connect with that rather than what you feel obliged to do out of compulsion.
00:41:23:03 - 00:41:30:07
Filly
Yeah. Okay. Shall we talk about what we do when we experience that disturbance.
00:41:30:07 - 00:41:33:07
Chris
By putting out all that sort of stuff? Emergency.
00:41:33:07 - 00:41:44:11
Filly
Yeah. I actually found when I was prepping these podcasts, I has a really hard question to answer in a short period of time because like for me personally, it will be context dependent. You know.
00:41:44:13 - 00:42:09:08
Chris
Can I go first? Because I feel like I've got an analogy that, that and then you can like fill in the gaps from there. Okay. Mine's an emergency thing. It's like, you know that in emergency pull, pull like you, you're disturbed. You're you're frustrated. You're overwhelmed. You just need you got to put out fire. So number one, stop creating fires that you need to put out.
00:42:09:10 - 00:42:19:21
Chris
So for me, that looks like if I'm stretched I need to big picture reduce the amount of fires. So at the end of my emergency, just.
00:42:19:21 - 00:42:21:13
Filly
The amount of ADHD.
00:42:21:16 - 00:42:24:21
Chris
Yeah. Or or be.
00:42:24:21 - 00:42:26:09
Filly
Intentional on them.
00:42:26:11 - 00:42:55:15
Chris
Yeah. So so somehow, someway at the end of the emergency, I've got to figure out how to be more fireproof and how to not create fires. So but the emergency release for me is always unwind because I am always stretched. If it is for me, for Chris, I am always stretched. So I need to find a way to calm, to connect, to bring myself together.
00:42:55:17 - 00:43:21:09
Chris
And that is going to be, I mean, there's there's billions of things that can do that. But my emergency thing is I need some space, I need I can't be in the in whatever I'm in, a conversation, a house. I just need some time. I also need some space, and I need just, a little bit of a breath.
00:43:21:11 - 00:43:38:07
Chris
And that is for me. That's it. That's. That's all I need. And that is takes the edge off things. And then my brain comes back online. It. I can stop thinking, or behaving from my lowest self. So does that make sense?
00:43:38:11 - 00:44:05:13
Filly
Yeah, that's probably similar to me. So I would think about it like if it's a small disturbance this versus a big disturbance. And I'll give some examples of what that would be. So if it's something small like an example would be a Nexus. And I had a, confronting conversation the other day about challenging conversation. Or sometimes the kids might just be annoying.
00:44:05:15 - 00:44:13:05
Filly
Sometimes they might be something that happens in our business or my time gets taken away from me. That sounds very big to me.
00:44:13:07 - 00:44:13:23
Chris
That is victim.
00:44:13:23 - 00:44:22:04
Filly
Or there's something and I'm saying that we've that because that would be a disturbance. It's like someone's taking my time, but this was my time.
00:44:22:05 - 00:44:27:23
Chris
But this is the honest, this the honest truth. Like that's how you felt like you felt like you were in victim mode.
00:44:27:23 - 00:44:29:17
Filly
So drop down into victim.
00:44:29:19 - 00:44:42:07
Chris
So be it's a being victim. So by not saying what you just said, there, does you a disservice. You you can't think about it. You can't talk about so. So by saying that is I think that's healing. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:42:11 - 00:44:43:15
Filly
00:44:43:15 - 00:44:45:13
Chris
You're still there, but you got to get over.
00:44:45:13 - 00:45:15:09
Filly
Yeah, yeah. So it can be. It can be something just like a day to day thing that pops up that's a bit annoying. Bit challenging. Something that feels like it's stealing something from me. So I, I will. First of all, it's interesting that you use the word emergency because I find the urgency story. It's like if if I use the example of feeling stretch, because this would be a small disturbance where it's like just like a lot on today, how am I going to get it all done?
00:45:15:11 - 00:45:37:07
Filly
It's like I'll find the urgency story. Why do I feel like I have to do all the things right now? There will usually be some old shadows of like, money. Fear round will if I don't do all the things, I'm going to go bankrupt or I'm going to, like, deeply disappoint someone. So the moment that I can see what the urgency is and it's like, oh, oh, is that all?
00:45:37:10 - 00:45:55:15
Filly
Is that the thing that's causing the disturbance? All right. You know, I've worked on that. I've dealt with that. So I return back to the story of who I am, return back to the story of how I'm being. It's safe to be slow. There's no urgency. The world isn't going to come crashing down. I might disappoint someone.
00:45:55:15 - 00:46:17:01
Filly
I can't control other people's emotions and what they think about me. And if I do disappoint them, that's okay. That's a them issue, not a may issue. If I don't get, I don't know, the email back in 24 hours and they get upset and they think I'm ignoring them. It's like I'm not. I'm actually just like being honest with my capacity at the moment.
00:46:17:01 - 00:46:47:19
Filly
And I don't have time for that yet. Yeah. And so like, it's really like I just find, like having a chat with myself, a conversation that I'm doing my best. If it has to wait a day or two, that's fine. It's simply like, I simply can't do it right now. If it's a money thing that pops up or it's just like I'm going to go bankrupt, then I'll return back to some beautiful mantras that really helped me in the past.
00:46:47:19 - 00:47:09:00
Filly
That just gets me back on track again. Knowing that it's safe, like finances is safe. So my big ones and money's always been there for me because it has. Even when we were broke, it was still there. It's got my back. It's always had my back. It's my friend, not my foe. And even and this is a big one for me.
00:47:09:01 - 00:47:27:03
Filly
Even if I lost it all, I know I can make something again because I'm resourceful. And you know what? Even if we lost everything, we could just grab a caravan and travel around Australia for a year and sell apples. Like, how lovely would that be?
00:47:27:05 - 00:47:30:23
Chris
Sounds good. Let's do it. It does, doesn't it? Sit. Wait. Sell apples.
00:47:31:02 - 00:48:02:23
Filly
I don't know, you sell apples, sell out something that just gives us a little bit of, like, money to continue putting petrol into the car and eat food. And we just like, go to all the amazing beaches. And then I'll take some sort of action. So there's like the reframe returning back to the story, I'll usually do some sort of action to demonstrate to my unconscious mind that it is safe to not do as much, and that will either be like, I cancel something, I drop something, I reschedule some things.
00:48:02:23 - 00:48:37:06
Filly
I'm very good at rescheduling these days, I love it. Sometimes it might literally just be. I just need to close my computer and go do something fun, okay? Do something calming or regulating. Go for a walk along the beach. Another quick example would be if it's a person interaction. So if I'm having an interaction with someone and it's like, oh, feeling a disturbance in my system, I've got some key coaching questions that I asked myself that just helps to return back to a place of empowerment and calm.
00:48:37:08 - 00:48:58:12
Filly
So they are we've talked about these on the podcast before. The only people who can hurt me and the people that I need something from and or a frustration with the others is almost a frustration with myself. So I can then take responsibility for my stuff. Like if there's anything going on where it's like a me issue, a may problem.
00:48:58:14 - 00:49:20:23
Filly
Sometimes it's just that I responded out of an old pattern or like an old shadow of a belief. Then it's like, cool. I will reframe that. I'll add in something somatic to bring calm back to the body, whether that's breath going for a walk, get out in the sunshine, do something fun. And sometimes it also requires an apology to someone else.
00:49:20:23 - 00:49:46:03
Filly
If there was a conversation that needs to be had or, you know, some sort of confrontation that happened that I need to apologise for, which then brings a deeper level of sense of peace and calm to my nervous system because it's like, this is this is done. We are done, done in a good way. Now, if it's a persistent or a bigger disturbance.
00:49:46:03 - 00:50:06:20
Filly
So that would be something where it's not just like little things that might pop up on a day to day basis and it's like, yep, a quick little reframe taking a different action that is fine and sorted it. A bigger disturbance might be a big pattern that continues to show up again and again and again. Or it is causing a lot more dysregulation.
00:50:06:20 - 00:50:25:20
Filly
So the signals and sirens are a lot louder. And if that happens, then I follow our thought process which is inside out ending body burn out method program. It's the metaphysical healing that we take our clients through. Doors open again in June. If you want to come join us, you can check that program out at the show links.
00:50:25:22 - 00:50:46:21
Filly
But essentially, I'm getting clear on my patterns again. I'm looking underneath the surf to see if there's any new beliefs that might have popped up that need rewiring, reprogramming. Are there any past events that I that need still need some work or new ones that I've never worked on in order to clear that from my system? And then I get clear on what I want.
00:50:46:21 - 00:50:54:07
Filly
So what do I really want? So I've got this big thing that continues to show off as a pattern. What do I want instead?
00:50:54:09 - 00:50:59:00
Chris
You're pointing at me. You like this big, this big thing.
00:50:59:02 - 00:51:01:14
Filly
I was holding a big bowl in my hand. Oh.
00:51:01:16 - 00:51:03:02
Chris
I thought you were pointing at me.
00:51:03:03 - 00:51:10:17
Filly
Oh, me like that. It's like if we got this big idiot marriage stuff comes off as a big pattern.
00:51:10:19 - 00:51:13:15
Chris
So.
00:51:13:17 - 00:51:40:16
Filly
And then after I get clear on what I want, then it's focusing on rewiring that one thing. So I want to change this one thing, and all my attention and focus goes into changing that. And it get clear in the game that I'm playing. Who do I need to be in order to win it and upgrade any agreement that and not serving me, not helping me to to become the person that I want to be.
00:51:40:18 - 00:52:08:18
Filly
So that's in a nutshell. Like I'll, I will use our spark process if it's a bigger disturbance. Because I find that if I'm just doing like little A.D.D. reframe here a little somatic practice there, when it's something that is quite stuck and needs moving out of my neurology, I will need a more structured process in order to be able to rewire that.
00:52:08:20 - 00:52:34:08
Chris
And we talked about that or I talked about that a few weeks ago when or months ago, whenever that one came out. About the new peeps. What what we do, you know, the metaphysical healing type thing. And there's always going to be some sort of giving you power away somewhere. You're outsourcing responsibility, somewhere you're being a victim somewhere you're being a rescue us somewhere and blah, blah, blah.
00:52:34:10 - 00:52:56:10
Chris
Meeting your needs on Resourcefully any time yet and any time that is coming up, there's a reason for that. You're doing the best you can with what you've got with the current amount of capacity, current amount of storage coming in and out of environment, people, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but it is. It's not. Maybe it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to to sort it out.
00:52:56:10 - 00:53:17:05
Chris
So when you do notice that there is an urgency or an emergency. Yeah. Pull. Pull the handle, pull the brake, pump the brake, pull the thing and yeah, sort it out. You got this. Even if you just need a moment. Need some time with some.
00:53:17:07 - 00:53:23:01
Filly
Right. Well, hopefully that was at least one little thing in there that it's like, oh.
00:53:23:03 - 00:53:50:10
Chris
Can I, can I say one more thing I forgot, I neglected to say one of my favourite almost instantaneous, emergency handle things is solfege, your music. And and I think that that, is, is huge for, for me. One of my, my friends and mentors, Hugh and, Hugh and Fischer, he he he told me about this.
00:53:50:10 - 00:54:16:23
Chris
He introduced me to this concept, and, Oh, I love it. I've got a playlist on Spotify, with all my favourite soft video frequency type music, and it will just speak to my soul. I feel great, I feel like I'm good to go once I pop that out. So if you feel stretched or worn thin or stuck or whatever, try to give.
00:54:17:00 - 00:54:19:04
Chris
Give solfege year ago.
00:54:19:06 - 00:54:33:04
Filly
It's great we found kids are fighting in the back or dysregulated as soon as you put them in. Yeah. Really loud. It's like within moments. Yeah. Everyone is back to a place to calm.
00:54:33:06 - 00:54:33:20
Chris
It's really.
00:54:33:20 - 00:54:35:09
Filly
Good to zens everyone.
00:54:35:11 - 00:54:40:18
Chris
And talk. Kev Thompson is my. Is my favourite, artist.
00:54:40:20 - 00:54:42:00
Filly
All right, listen.
00:54:42:00 - 00:54:42:19
Chris
Have the best day ever.
00:54:42:21 - 00:54:43:09
Filly
Thank you.
00:54:43:09 - 00:54:47:22
Chris
Bye. See you.
00:54:48:00 - 00:54:58:02
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:54:58:04 - 00:55:30:08
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group or one on one ending Body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
00:55:30:10 - 00:55:30:16
Chris
For.
