00;00;00;20 - 00;00;39;11
Filly
Hello and welcome to the podcast today we have another live coaching session for you. I personally love these when I was on my own health and healing journey, especially when I hit a roadblock with just the physical protocols that I was really looking into. Metaphysical healing. Deeper unconscious root causes. There were a couple of people who did live coaching calls or coaching sessions on their podcast, and I got so much value out of them.
00;00;39;11 - 00;01;04;28
Filly
And the beautiful lady who Chris coaches today on the podcast, Pete, it felt like a full circle for her when she came on the podcast because one of the reasons why she became a client with us inside the ending body burnout method. So she is someone who has had many great coaches coaching sessions with Chris and I.
00;01;05;01 - 00;01;31;11
Filly
But one of the things that drew her towards what we do was that she listened to someone else having a coaching session on our podcast, so really special that she that we can create space for her, and also that she felt brave enough to come on with a really big personal issue that she has been struggling with, more so at an unconscious level rather than a conscious level.
00;01;31;11 - 00;02;20;18
Filly
So she, put her hand up to come on to the podcast because she was struggling with sleeping issues. She had had a whole heap of breakthroughs around other health issues. Other emotional issues. But this sleep thing was feeling very stubborn for her, and she realised that when she started asking her questions, questions to her unconscious mind, her intuition that an underlying reason why she was waking up in the middle of the night was because of on processed emotions surrounding her adult child gender dysphoria, and her fears of judgement around her identity as a mother.
00;02;20;20 - 00;03;02;28
Filly
So this is a really beautiful coaching session. She's just a joy to coach. I know that because I have personally had one on one sessions with her as well, and if any one out there who is struggling with unprocessed emotions, sleep issues, or relationship changes. So whether you are a parent with a child, who might have gender dysphoria, or maybe they're just transitioning from child to adult and your relationship with them is changing and it feels confusing and you don't know how to navigate this.
00;03;02;28 - 00;03;37;04
Filly
There's so many different gold nuggets that you'll find in this podcast session. And also, Chris beautifully takes people through some somatic processes to help her connect back to her body into her unconscious mind and help move through the layers of emotions that have currently been repressed since. I think 2020. So enjoy this session today. Make sure you, as you're listening, give it some beautiful, energetic virtual love.
00;03;37;07 - 00;04;10;04
Filly
As you hold space for her during this session. And if you do love these coaching sessions on the podcast and you would like to have your own session, head down to the Shownotes links. There is a link there where you can apply to come on to our podcast for a coaching session. And also if you do love this style of getting to a deeper root cause underneath the body, system imbalances and different symptoms that you're experiencing, please pop your name down on our waitlist for our ending body burn out method.
00;04;10;04 - 00;04;52;10
Filly
So doors do open next month in September, which we're super excited about because we only open doors three times a year. If you pop your name down on the waitlist, you will be eligible for over $500 worth of bonuses if you join us during the early bird period, which happens two days before the doors open publicly. So yeah, just head down to the show tonight to pop your name on the waitlist and also learn a bit more about our method, where we're helping our clients support and heal both the physical body but also the metaphysical parts of you, the unconscious mind, the nervous system, the neural pathways, things that are unprocessed, stagnant in the body
00;04;52;16 - 00;05;07;27
Filly
that is impacting the body. Systems and burning them out and then showing up as health issues. All right, let's get into today's podcast.
00;05;08;00 - 00;05;21;21
Chris
Hello, and welcome to the Ending Body Burnout Show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi-award winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood, and gut issues.
00;05;21;21 - 00;05;22;16
Pip
Well, busyness.
00;05;22;16 - 00;05;29;16
Filly
Addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00;05;29;22 - 00;05;42;26
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic, root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00;05;42;26 - 00;05;51;00
Filly
Sorry. Get ready to heal your body. Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself and step into the life of your dreams.
00;05;51;03 - 00;06;02;07
Chris
Let's dive in.
00;06;02;09 - 00;06;27;24
Chris
Hello everybody! Welcome to this episode of the ending body Burnout show. With me today, I've got Pip. So thanks so much, pit for for jumping onto the call with me. I'm excited to have a chat to you about, let's go broad some stuff. So thank you for coming on.
00;06;27;26 - 00;06;29;17
Pip
Thank you.
00;06;29;19 - 00;06;55;10
Chris
All right, so, let me just press this just in case. All right. So thanks so much. What I might do just to to set the scene is you and I have talked previously just before we hit record, but what would you like to get out of our call today?
00;06;55;12 - 00;07;21;25
Pip
If, as I said, when I was talking to you, it's kind of hard to to bring it into a nutshell, but I. I feel like I've been, not processing something that's really been fairly central to me and my family for the last 5 or 6 years. So, through the confusion and the not really sure how to react or, I've just kind of shoved it all down and it's playing out now.
00;07;21;25 - 00;07;45;01
Pip
Not in my head. I'm not constantly thinking about it, but certainly my body. And my sleep. Are indicating to me that that something's really stirring down there and needing to be processed through, so that I can really move on or respond differently or see the whole process differently. So rather than just ignore.
00;07;45;03 - 00;07;58;03
Chris
Yeah. Okay. So when you say sleep, you know, is this this bit of an issue for you with, with your sleep, right.
00;07;58;05 - 00;08;27;23
Pip
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I mean, it's it's a reasonably regular enough occurrence that I'll sort of wake at 130 and I'll be quite wide awake, so not sort of lying there tossing and turning and thinking and not getting the thoughts to turn off, but actually just feeling really quite wide awake. Raid for a little bit, to try and help me get back to sleep and then sort of doze until sort of six, 630, I just give up and go get on with the day.
00;08;27;25 - 00;08;39;18
Pip
So yeah, so like I say, it's not like I'm sitting there churning thoughts and I can't shut my mind off. It's actually really quite blank, but I'm just not going back to sleep.
00;08;39;21 - 00;09;11;26
Chris
Yeah, that's interesting that you say your mind is blank. Often, often times when we wake up, I mean, we're dreaming when we're asleep. It's it's an unconscious alertness, isn't it? Like we're not we're not consciously alert. And, so mind is blank that that to me that that signifies that we're probably not talking about something at the conscious level here is unconscious.
00;09;11;28 - 00;09;12;10
Chris
Is that what.
00;09;12;11 - 00;09;42;11
Pip
You. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. So like, it's been a couple of weeks ago I was it was the scenario and I was just sort of lying there and I thought the thoughts going through my head are more like, why aren't I going to sleep? What's bothering me? What's the issue? Why can't I come on, allow the whatever it might have been to sort of rise to the surface so that I had something to kind of go, well, and that's when I sort of thought there's a, there's something sitting with, with my, one of my children and an issue with one of my children.
00;09;42;13 - 00;09;50;24
Pip
So, yeah. So that's where I it's, it's the thought process is, I'm awake.
00;09;50;26 - 00;09;51;28
Chris
Yeah, yeah.
00;09;52;00 - 00;09;54;13
Pip
Yeah. Why am I awake?
00;09;54;15 - 00;09;59;25
Chris
Okay. So,
00;09;59;28 - 00;10;35;06
Chris
It's not. It's not as if you don't know. I mean, your intuition has just sounds like it's spoken very clearly that that, you know, What? Before before we go down that, knowing path. I don't know if that makes any sense. But before you, if you think about it, how long has this sleep stuff been going on?
00;10;35;09 - 00;11;08;20
Pip
It's actually been on and off for a few years. So, you know, it's it's sort of periodic I suppose. I do have periods of sleeping reasonably well and then it will kick back in again. So yeah, I've, I've sort of function in a sleep deprived state for quite a while. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I, you know, I guess if I think about it it would be probably more intensely about the time this whole issue with my child sort of started, I guess.
00;11;08;20 - 00;11;26;26
Pip
So it's, but at that point it was a lot more obvious processing thoughts just being really ramped up and trying to make sense of things. So the difference is that those thoughts aren't there at the moment. It's just the wakefulness is.
00;11;26;28 - 00;11;59;13
Chris
Yeah, okay. So so it's less about the thoughts at the moment, but the the wakefulness is there. But intuitively you there's a knowing like you know, you know, is something related to to what's going on with your child. But then it's also it's probably about you as well, isn't it? Like it's not. Yeah. It's not just them.
00;11;59;13 - 00;12;01;01
Chris
It's it's you. It's.
00;12;01;01 - 00;12;27;15
Pip
Yeah. I think it's sort of I can kind of at that point now where I can separate it that, you know, they're an adult child. I probably should clarify that they're an adult child. And it's not, it's not in judgement or concern or, anything for what's happening for them. It's more about how I've responded to how I've, not responded to you.
00;12;27;15 - 00;12;51;20
Pip
What, what's been going on for them? So, as a parent, there's obviously natural concern when your child is dealing with something you, you naturally want to be able to assist and help. But when they're adults, that role is different. You've really kind of got a step back a little bit, which I feel I've been able to do.
00;12;51;23 - 00;13;16;29
Pip
But there's been, a lot of confusion in my reaction. And probably a lot of grief that I, I normally when I think about grief, it's like you've lost someone. It's, you know, it's a death of a person or a pet or, whatever. This is like my child still living. They're still in my life.
00;13;16;29 - 00;13;49;28
Pip
They're still here every day. But there's a deep underlying grace. Around how that whole relationship has changed and the reasons that it's changed, that has felt a kind of a bit weird. It's sort of like, why would you grieve that? But in fact, the other part of me goes, well, why wouldn't you? Yeah. But also not really knowing how to do that, how to sort of be, how to be effective in that grief.
00;13;50;01 - 00;14;04;14
Pip
Yeah. Because I don't just want to endlessly grieve. It's like there's something that I can I can learn and and grow from within the grief. But it's, just sitting in the whirlpool of not really knowing where to go with it and what to do with it.
00;14;04;16 - 00;14;10;27
Chris
What have you done for that grief? What's what's your journey been, with that?
00;14;10;29 - 00;14;38;01
Pip
It took me a long time to actually realise that's what it was. And to give some context, it's around gender issues. So, my child came out as non-binary, which I sort of went, oh, okay. What even is that? What does that actually mean? They came out as gay, and I didn't have. I don't have a problem at all with either of those.
00;14;38;01 - 00;15;04;16
Pip
Although the the gender aspect was confusing because it's not something that I felt like I really grew up with and could understand. And the language is kind of new. And my child initially was fairly reactive towards me with that confusion, so I sort of shoved it down and shoved it aside so that I could be be there for them.
00;15;04;18 - 00;15;29;24
Pip
Assure them that they still love. They still accepted, they still got a home. They're still safe. And so I put my reactions and my needs to the side. So it and then it sort of progressed on to, talking about transitioning and, surgeries and all of these things. And coming from an 18 year old, that was kind of it was quite scary.
00;15;29;26 - 00;15;48;24
Pip
And I think my only request at the time was like not asking you not to, but can you please hold off doing anything? Not reversible until you're in your mid 20s when your brain's finished developing, when you fully understand the impact of what you want to do, on your life and your body and all of those sort of things.
00;15;48;26 - 00;16;12;27
Pip
So we've had very respectful conversations around that. Where I think I've gotten lost is, having birthed a daughter and having given that daughter what I thought was a beautiful name and loved the story around the name that we chose and, and all of those sort of things. You know, it was kind of really part of my, my mothering story.
00;16;12;29 - 00;16;35;24
Pip
So, and to have, have them come and say, I want to change my name, reasonable request. Okay. That's fine. But the grief and the anguish I felt around that was really you can hear it in my voice now. It was quite strong. It shocked me a little bit that I reacted so strongly to a name change.
00;16;35;26 - 00;16;58;27
Pip
But underlying it as well, I think there was the realisation that I had an expectation about what a mother daughter relationship looked like, and now I no longer had a daughter. I had, I don't actually know what to refer to it as, so I'd kind of lost the sense of security and the relationship that I thought I had.
00;16;58;29 - 00;17;24;08
Pip
So it's not necessarily that they're any different as a person. I still hate. They've always been they have chosen a different name, and they they've chosen, well chosen. Recognised. The language can get really clunky around this. It's kind of very, yeah, try to be picky with it, but sometimes it's hard to express what I mean when I'm being pissy.
00;17;24;08 - 00;17;49;17
Pip
So I slip up with that all the time. Yeah. So there's kind of like, I have a child. And when I say my child, I feel quite distanced. Whereas if I say my daughter or my son, I feel quite connected. So it's kind of it's in a lot of ways it's just semantics, but it's, it's quite deep, in my response.
00;17;49;17 - 00;18;20;27
Pip
So, yeah. So I guess that initial grief, I withdrew, I really needed to just cocoon myself at that time. As I say, at that point, their reaction to me was really quite strong as opposed to their death. So, it was a big push. I felt they were pushing me away more. Which made sense. I've been the primary carer, I've been the homeschooler.
00;18;20;27 - 00;18;45;11
Pip
I've been all those things. I've been really the front and centre personal life. So I'm moving into their independent world. The rent was probably harder for me. But it felt quite brutal at the time because there was all these other bits going on underneath it. So I withdrew, and numbed, I think I just numbed, I didn't really,
00;18;45;13 - 00;19;07;18
Pip
I didn't really go through a grieving process at all. I think I just numbed, I didn't really know what to do, so I just pulled back and numbed. And that was kind of through Covid. So it was an easy time to pull back, go numb. It was, so yeah, that's. And then I kind of just think I got on with life.
00;19;07;18 - 00;19;24;18
Pip
So it's all sort of sat there and never really been addressed and process. So I've tried to logically make sense of it, and I think I'm making progress there, but my body hasn't caught up.
00;19;24;20 - 00;19;28;19
Chris
Okay. Thanks, Pip.
00;19;28;22 - 00;19;30;25
Pip
That was a big double.
00;19;30;27 - 00;20;15;14
Chris
Yeah. I've got lots of data, lots of notes. So if you do feel comfortable closing your eyes and and just just connecting with the back of your eyelids for a second and just, softening, just allowing yourself to sit in your sitting in a chair. Just feel feel that chair. Feel the support of your chair. Feel your neck and your spine, those strong bones that just connect all together just in the in just the right way for you to not crumple into a mess that that, bunch of organs and tissue and body is so sad.
00;20;15;17 - 00;20;42;12
Chris
Only supported by that spine of yours and that neck. And just notice that notice that structure, that firmness in your body. And then outside of you notice that chair. Just allow yourself to let your spine and your neck and your chair to just support you. You might even feel parts of you connecting to that chair.
00;20;42;14 - 00;20;51;13
Chris
Just notice that.
00;20;51;15 - 00;21;18;17
Chris
Notice, notice as you breathe, that air comes in through your nose with your mouth just nicely, just relaxed and exactly how it is. The air is coming in through your nose and filling your your lungs and your chest cavity. You feel the natural rise and fall of your chest.
00;21;18;20 - 00;21;23;01
Chris
That's it.
00;21;23;04 - 00;21;34;16
Chris
And I wonder if you can just let anything just soften and relax. Maybe parts of your face. Is there any part of your face, your neck, your your eyes?
00;21;34;18 - 00;21;38;24
Pip
Show this.
00;21;38;27 - 00;22;09;08
Chris
Can you relax your your arms, elbows, hands, fingers, fingertips, fingernails. Anything. Soften. Just you be juicy. Just soft. Sloppiness. That's it. Yeah. A good, beautiful, full breathing.
00;22;09;10 - 00;22;31;23
Chris
And on this next breath, just just hold it for a pause once it comes into your body. And just hold. And then really slowly breathe out this breath. That's it. Real slow. And then on the next one, do the same thing. Just once the air comes in, just hold it.
00;22;31;26 - 00;22;41;06
Chris
And then just really slowly let it out.
00;22;41;08 - 00;23;10;27
Chris
Bring your attention to what you're doing. You're breathing. Just focus on the breathing. You hear me? But I'm kind of out there. Just bring your attention in. You. Yeah. You go softening focus.
00;23;11;00 - 00;23;18;03
Chris
You're allowing your attention to to come to you.
00;23;18;05 - 00;23;35;05
Chris
As me. I'm out here. You hear me? But now bring your attention to you. Good.
00;23;35;07 - 00;24;00;26
Chris
And I wonder if you can press your feet into the ground. Not sure if you've got your legs crossed or anything like that, but just press your feet into the ground and just press. You might feel what that does to your muscles. And then you can just relax it. And as you do it again, just notice again what that does to your muscles.
00;24;00;26 - 00;24;12;13
Chris
When you press your feet into the floor, into the ground, you know, which which muscles do you feel? Out loud? What muscles do you feel when you press your legs into the ground?
00;24;12;15 - 00;24;14;14
Pip
My calves, my thighs.
00;24;14;16 - 00;24;16;00
Chris
Guys. Beautiful.
00;24;16;05 - 00;24;16;18
Pip
Glutes.
00;24;16;23 - 00;24;39;15
Chris
Glutes. Yeah. Wonderful. Good job. And then just relax and once you stop pressing into the ground, see if you can bring your attention, maybe might feel, I don't know, like a throbbing or a presence or an awareness that those muscles still exist even though you're not activating them, you know, can you notice them? Yeah. Cool.
00;24;39;17 - 00;24;53;03
Chris
And then do the opposite with you, with your toes. See if you can keep your heels on the ground, but pulling your toes upwards. There you go. And notice there's a different part of your body that you might be aware of right now. Yeah.
00;24;53;05 - 00;24;54;01
Pip
00;24;54;03 - 00;25;03;07
Chris
Good job. And you can relax that. And then when you relax and you stop pulling the toes up, can you notice that part of your body still.
00;25;03;09 - 00;25;03;19
Pip
Yeah.
00;25;03;21 - 00;25;39;08
Chris
Cool. And then if you were to clench your, your fingers into a fist and squeeze them, you might notice some sort of sensation and awareness. So if you squeeze your fingers into a fist and just hold them as tight as you can without any sort of pain or anything like that, hopefully this doesn't cause you too much discomfort, but just feel what that does and feel what part of your body I feel a, a warmth when I do this, or a sensation that feels like warmth.
00;25;39;08 - 00;25;41;01
Chris
I don't know what you feel.
00;25;41;03 - 00;25;41;26
Pip
00;25;42;09 - 00;25;52;19
Chris
And then if you let go. What what does that feel like? Just notice that.
00;25;52;21 - 00;26;21;22
Chris
And then do the opposite. Instead of clenching your fingers, just open your hand like a stars as much as you can. And just notice what that feels like when you open. You open your hand and you feel what that does to your body. Just notice that your hand can do that. Just relax. And as you relax. You can probably still feel your hand.
00;26;21;25 - 00;26;22;22
Pip
00;26;22;24 - 00;26;28;21
Chris
Cool.
00;26;28;23 - 00;26;36;20
Chris
And with this focus on yourself.
00;26;36;22 - 00;27;29;10
Chris
Bring bring your attention to the situation in your, in your life. But but not so much about other people. Bring your attention to you and your reaction. And as you said your grief and the weirdness and the newness and the challenges. And the parts of you that there's there's some parts of you that are actually positive and, and feel like they're accepting and responsible and, and if you had to think about those parts of you, you feel quite proud of those parts and, and you feel honoured to have those parts as part of you, you know, you feel very connected to those parts and, and you feel like, yeah.
00;27;29;12 - 00;27;52;24
Chris
Oh, I love this part of me. This is, I'm doing a good job. And and I'm also being a certain way that I love as functional. And then you've also got a part of you that when you, when you think about it. Yeah. Actually, this other part of me though.
00;27;52;26 - 00;28;17;08
Chris
I'm not okay with maybe this other part is, is feeling some kind of way. And I want to bring some attention to that part, because maybe that part is grieving and hasn't let go or or maybe this other part feels some sort of other way that or reacts in some sort of way that I'm not okay with. Can you identify that that that part of you that.
00;28;17;10 - 00;28;28;23
Chris
Yeah, actually, I'm not okay with that. What can you tell me more about that part?
00;28;28;25 - 00;28;37;03
Pip
It feels very wrong. It feels,
00;28;37;05 - 00;28;59;21
Pip
It's a part of me that doesn't like not to know and not. And not to get it right. So the confusion is very. Feels very tense, very stiff.
00;28;59;23 - 00;29;22;23
Pip
Yeah. Trying to find a way to describe it. Like a kid, when they've been picked for the part in the play. And they want to make sure they get their lines right, and when they don't, they kind of feel silly and, be embarrassed that they may have stuffed it up as they were trying so hard.
00;29;22;25 - 00;29;25;08
Pip
It's probably the best way I can describe.
00;29;25;10 - 00;29;32;22
Chris
Well, like, it.
00;29;32;24 - 00;29;35;22
Chris
Yeah.
00;29;35;24 - 00;29;53;08
Pip
And kind of timid now. You know, to try again because it got it wrong.
00;29;53;10 - 00;29;59;00
Pip
Very critical, self-critical.
00;29;59;03 - 00;30;26;28
Chris
Yeah. Okay. So just allow that part of you to to be, be there, and you might, I don't know, are you running a movie? Can you see this part playing out? Is that memories? Is there some sort of, a scene playing out either over, over again? Or are you playing something out in your mind? Can you remember a story about this critical nurse?
00;30;26;28 - 00;30;32;18
Chris
This this, this part of you?
00;30;32;20 - 00;30;58;04
Pip
Not so much a movie. It's more kind of a feeling within me that sort of constriction. And, almost an anxious feeling. But it's higher up in my chest and, like, anxiety, I normally feel kind of down in my gut more. But this is like an anxiety but up in my chest. And that's quite.
00;30;58;07 - 00;31;19;10
Pip
Yeah. So it's more a feeling than a visual thing. And feeling of tension right up through my tongue. A bit like I'm tongue tied. By. Yeah, that's kind of what I've got most.
00;31;19;12 - 00;31;23;16
Chris
Gotcha.
00;31;23;18 - 00;31;55;17
Chris
Okay. And and if you allow that tongue tightness, that tension, chest anxious up top anxiousness, not down down, low down, deep belly anxiousness. Allow that that chesty a stiff, tense, confusing wrong feel. Just allow that to be here. Can you connect with that and allow that to to be here. Well investigate and we'll we'll gain some insights around this part.
00;31;55;17 - 00;31;56;28
Chris
Would that be okay.
00;31;57;01 - 00;31;58;18
Pip
Yeah.
00;31;58;20 - 00;31;59;23
Chris
Awesome.
00;31;59;25 - 00;32;03;09
Pip
And actually feels more solid as I give it more attention to.
00;32;03;12 - 00;32;10;05
Chris
Oh yeah. And what's your reaction to that? Solidness when you bring it attention.
00;32;10;07 - 00;32;26;02
Pip
Kind of makes it feel real. Yeah, I guess in my head. Like it's not just me thinking that it's something there's a real ness to. What's going on.
00;32;26;05 - 00;32;52;19
Chris
Okay. And and if you can just lean into that pit and, and allow that to be there, not to label it as a bad thing or a good thing, just, it's kind of like, Okay. That's the thing. Like a sign as you're driving from Launceston up, up north to to Devonport and there's signs it's it's not a bad thing.
00;32;52;19 - 00;33;10;08
Chris
It's not a good thing. It's just a sign. It's a direction. It's saying Devonport 80km, Devonport 50km, Devonport 20km. You know this is it's just a sign and it's just it is what it is.
00;33;10;10 - 00;33;19;13
Chris
And so if you notice it and you allow it to be there and you don't label it, don't judge it.
00;33;19;15 - 00;33;24;28
Chris
How's that for you? If you can just let that be there with you right now. You okay?
00;33;25;00 - 00;33;30;27
Pip
Yeah. Go.
00;33;31;00 - 00;33;40;23
Chris
All right. And now, while you're there and you notice it.
00;33;40;26 - 00;33;56;09
Chris
What sort of insights and understanding can you can you get about this? What can you what can you learn about it? What's this part of you trying to say or, or advise you about.
00;33;56;11 - 00;34;14;09
Pip
The bit like, just look at me. Just say me just now. Just acknowledge me.
00;34;14;11 - 00;34;17;09
Chris
Yeah. And and what else you need?
00;34;17;11 - 00;34;25;25
Pip
And it's very much like that child that's got it wrong. I just want somebody to reassure them.
00;34;25;27 - 00;34;29;23
Pip
That they haven't failed.
00;34;29;25 - 00;34;34;25
Pip
So, yeah.
00;34;34;27 - 00;34;41;06
Pip
00;34;41;08 - 00;35;17;29
Chris
Yeah. What if you were to to, allow that part of you. That's that's there. Allow it to become even more real and and visualise it as a something that comes out of you and with your eyes closed, it comes in front of you, comes out of your body. It almost because it's real. It's it's there. And even though you've got your eyes closed, if you had your eyes open, you could see it in front of you.
00;35;18;02 - 00;35;26;16
Chris
Yeah. What would you. Would it have a colour?
00;35;26;18 - 00;35;28;10
Pip
Sort of burnt orange.
00;35;28;12 - 00;35;40;00
Chris
Interesting. Yeah. Beautiful. And like a shape. Any sort of shape.
00;35;40;03 - 00;35;43;17
Pip
Big. Like, Yeah. The door wedges.
00;35;43;20 - 00;35;44;24
Chris
Oh, yeah.
00;35;44;27 - 00;35;52;28
Pip
Yeah. Like that triangular, great triangular shape, but it's quite chunky.
00;35;53;00 - 00;36;14;25
Chris
Also. And just imagine that burnt orange dough wedgie. Triangular chunky shape outside of you. And does it have some sort of feel the feeling to it. What does it feel like if you were to reach out and touch it?
00;36;14;28 - 00;36;15;24
Pip
Blimey.
00;36;15;26 - 00;36;28;06
Chris
Oh, interesting. I like it so it's slimy, chunky triangular door wedgie burnt orange. Part of you allow that to come out in front of you. Can you, can you picture that.
00;36;28;09 - 00;36;30;00
Pip
Cool.
00;36;30;03 - 00;36;44;14
Chris
And now imagine that that. That that pot has has a voice, some sort of ability to communicate.
00;36;44;16 - 00;37;01;13
Chris
And ask it. Out loud so I can hear. What is it trying to communicate to you.
00;37;01;15 - 00;37;07;17
Pip
What are you trying to communicate to me. What do you need me to understand?
00;37;07;19 - 00;37;34;11
Chris
Beautiful. What does it say?
00;37;34;13 - 00;37;55;10
Pip
And it's been protecting me. But it can't hold on much longer. It can't do it for much longer. It's getting weary of doing that.
00;37;55;13 - 00;38;02;02
Chris
Yeah. What else?
00;38;02;04 - 00;38;14;29
Pip
It needs to be seen and heard.
00;38;15;02 - 00;38;31;19
Chris
Yeah. In what way?
00;38;31;22 - 00;38;43;28
Pip
By speaking my truth in a. Two issue.
00;38;44;00 - 00;39;12;27
Chris
Yeah. And so if you were to speak your truth and you were to, to be seen and heard, what would that look like or what would that be like? What would you say?
00;39;13;00 - 00;39;24;17
Pip
That it hurts. Am I lost?
00;39;24;20 - 00;39;34;15
Pip
Misunderstood.
00;39;34;17 - 00;39;47;25
Pip
And the confusion around the whole scenario has been very isolating.
00;39;47;27 - 00;39;53;15
Chris
00;39;53;17 - 00;40;06;20
Chris
Yeah.
00;40;06;23 - 00;40;27;05
Chris
And if you could allow yourself to just feel that. Feel that confusion. Feel that isolation. That hurt, that lost. What sort of emotions do you feel? What are you really feeling?
00;40;27;08 - 00;40;34;27
Pip
Really sad. Yeah.
00;40;35;00 - 00;40;59;09
Pip
Very deeply sad. Yeah.
00;40;59;12 - 00;41;13;28
Chris
Just allow yourself to feel that. That sadness. Pip. Let it out. What kind of.
00;41;14;01 - 00;41;29;01
Chris
What kind of way can you allow that sadness to come up? Just let that. Let that sadness be here. Just right now. Be sad. Good job.
00;41;29;04 - 00;41;41;20
Chris
Tell right away. Just feel it. That's it. Just feel it, Pip.
00;41;41;22 - 00;41;56;12
Chris
You're okay to be sad.
00;41;56;15 - 00;42;21;05
Chris
Yeah.
00;42;21;07 - 00;43;05;07
Chris
Now you feeling sad? What would you like to say? What? What would you like to bring up?
00;43;05;09 - 00;43;22;01
Pip
Know I just tried so hard as a parent.
00;43;22;04 - 00;43;33;23
Pip
We literally put so much of my last 25 years into to being the kind of parent I wanted to be.
00;43;33;25 - 00;43;41;23
Pip
And it just kind of feels a bit unfair.
00;43;41;25 - 00;43;43;18
Chris
Yeah.
00;43;43;20 - 00;43;54;19
Pip
I suppose I feel a bit angry.
00;43;54;21 - 00;44;00;03
Pip
Yeah, there's a bit of an anger sitting underneath it, too. Yeah.
00;44;00;03 - 00;44;04;00
Chris
And feel that that's that's that's there, isn't it?
00;44;04;03 - 00;44;11;06
Pip
Yeah.
00;44;11;08 - 00;44;17;24
Chris
00;44;17;26 - 00;44;32;11
Chris
Why do you feel allow that anger to, to just be here. Like what does that what's that about. What's what's around that.
00;44;32;13 - 00;44;35;20
Pip
00;44;35;22 - 00;44;48;28
Pip
That I worked really, really hard as a parent to break the cycle of. My own childhood.
00;44;49;00 - 00;44;53;07
Pip
00;44;53;10 - 00;44;58;18
Pip
So sort of have.
00;44;58;20 - 00;45;11;19
Pip
I guess that sense of I've failed in some way coming as I, you know, my kids are almost an adult. Feels really.
00;45;11;21 - 00;45;45;17
Pip
I don't know whether I'm angry with myself at that or. And create the universal at something intangible, but also angry that I was left to be so aligned in dealing with this situation, because it's just not a lot of support out there for parents that this is what's not happening to them, but it's part of their experience.
00;45;45;19 - 00;46;08;24
Pip
Yeah, I you know, I don't I don't really know who I'm angry with, but you know, the conversations and the comments that you get from people who have no understanding of gender issues or parenting, even, everybody's got their own opinion and their own comment.
00;46;08;27 - 00;46;19;11
Pip
Kind of angry, I guess, that I couldn't, didn't, wouldn't speak up.
00;46;19;13 - 00;46;49;13
Pip
For fear of being cut down, judged harshly. That sort of makes me angry.
00;46;49;15 - 00;47;36;11
Pip
And I think probably. Yeah. The thing that. Probably nails the anger the most is the judgement that's placed on parents when there's actually no support or understanding of the issue. Anyway, all the therapists, they're all learning on the go. They're all trying to understand it. And it's all very focussed on the person or the child that's experiencing the gender dysphoria without offering any guidance or help for the parents to be able to support their own child and help them understand what their child is experiencing, and particularly once they're in late teens, you're not allowed to know the child's privacy.
00;47;36;13 - 00;47;57;24
Pip
Of course, is paramount, but it leaves the parents very much out in no man's land. And then we're held accountable and responsible. So yeah, there's a an anger at the unfairness of how the pans out.
00;47;57;26 - 00;48;06;27
Pip
00;48;07;00 - 00;48;46;17
Chris
Yeah. And. What else?
00;48;46;19 - 00;48;51;20
Pip
Which is so much in tank. It's so hard. What, like so much of this?
00;48;51;22 - 00;49;00;29
Chris
Yeah. What are you anxious about? What's frightening? What frightens you the most?
00;49;01;01 - 00;49;05;22
Pip
When I'll be seen as a mum. Excuse the French.
00;49;05;24 - 00;49;08;26
Chris
Yeah.
00;49;08;28 - 00;49;14;05
Pip
Yeah.
00;49;14;08 - 00;49;31;03
Pip
It's literally been my life's work.
00;49;31;06 - 00;49;42;10
Pip
Yeah. And then to get on. Oh, it's unfair judgement. I mean, I'm not a perfect parent. I don't think such a thing exists, but.
00;49;42;13 - 00;50;16;12
Pip
When I say it's my life's work, it really has been stay at home. I've been. I've worked really, really hard. At unravelling inherited. Patterns, behaviours and worked really hard not repeating them. Then going on to my my whole own set of mistakes, but not the ones I inherited. And then.
00;50;16;14 - 00;50;27;04
Pip
To have an issue that has just felt so. Divisive in the wider community.
00;50;27;07 - 00;50;36;26
Pip
Put me in a place of being judged for it again. It's horrible.
00;50;36;28 - 00;50;42;02
Pip
It's actually really horrible.
00;50;42;05 - 00;50;50;08
Pip
00;50;50;10 - 00;50;55;02
Chris
Yeah.
00;50;55;04 - 00;51;04;06
Chris
And. And tragic.
00;51;04;08 - 00;51;21;21
Chris
You. What do you regret most?
00;51;21;23 - 00;51;26;20
Pip
In this particular situation or in general.
00;51;26;23 - 00;51;33;04
Chris
Whatever comes up. Yes, both. One.
00;51;33;06 - 00;51;34;18
Pip
00;51;34;20 - 00;51;36;08
Chris
Let it all out, baby. Let it.
00;51;36;08 - 00;51;42;29
Pip
All out.
00;51;43;02 - 00;52;00;02
Pip
I think I regret that I shrank and I didn't come out all guns blazing in support of my child. But my confusion just. Made me shrink.
00;52;00;04 - 00;52;05;18
Pip
Instead of going out there like the mama lion.
00;52;05;20 - 00;52;11;17
Pip
And taking that on with them.
00;52;11;20 - 00;52;33;24
Pip
I feel a bit like I might have let them down a bit.
00;52;33;26 - 00;52;39;11
Pip
And that maybe in that way I did repeat a pattern.
00;52;39;13 - 00;52;53;13
Pip
00;52;53;16 - 00;53;02;08
Pip
Yeah, I think you change that. I would change that.
00;53;02;10 - 00;53;19;23
Chris
Yeah. So if you if you, I, like, take that on the chin or you take that blame. You accept that responsibility. What? What could you how could you frame that? You know, like. Yeah. Okay. So I did that. I get that.
00;53;19;25 - 00;53;28;02
Pip
00;53;28;04 - 00;53;41;14
Pip
Yeah, I did that. And it's that old adage I didn't know better. And now I do, so I can do better. Now I know better.
00;53;41;16 - 00;53;52;26
Pip
Yeah, I did it. But I couldn't do anything else at the time because I didn't know better at the time.
00;53;52;28 - 00;53;53;29
Chris
Yeah.
00;53;54;01 - 00;53;59;12
Pip
I do, and so now I can.
00;53;59;14 - 00;54;05;04
Chris
Yeah. You have you were doing the best you could with what you had. Hey.
00;54;05;07 - 00;54;08;00
Pip
00;54;08;02 - 00;54;14;17
Chris
It was, it was a a challenge for you.
00;54;14;19 - 00;54;32;01
Chris
And your child. And and if you bring attention to you, you you did that. You didn't know better. Now you know better, I did it. I couldn't do better because I didn't know better. But now you do.
00;54;32;03 - 00;54;37;06
Pip
00;54;37;08 - 00;55;04;15
Chris
And if you allow yourself to to. To take some pride in this. In this new, new set of knowing this new awareness, not shame, but the pride that. Well, now you know what? Now I know different. And I can't change the past in Literalness I can't go back there in a time machine and make a different choice. But you know what?
00;55;04;15 - 00;55;33;02
Chris
I can do something now. And and allowing other people to feel the hurt, allowing that part of you to feel the hurt of, an anger and sadness, that real sadness that you literally put so much of the last 25 years just trying so, so intentionally to be the kind of parent that that you wanted to be, allowing yourself to, to feel that hurt.
00;55;33;05 - 00;55;43;19
Chris
Hey, allowing yourself to feel that pain and any sort of anger that comes up in any sort of sadness and grief.
00;55;43;21 - 00;56;16;06
Chris
But then also to take pride that, you know what? Moving forwards. I can be a different way. I can do something different right now. Like, I I'm aware of different, different ways of being and doing now. Like, what if you were to lift your chin with your eyes closed now and just just speak. With that sense of pride in yourself?
00;56;16;08 - 00;56;30;27
Chris
What would you like to what would you like to say or what can you say?
00;56;31;00 - 00;56;40;24
Pip
That I'm just always learning. I'm always having to adapt. And I'm capable of doing that.
00;56;40;26 - 00;57;02;26
Pip
And yeah, it's it's not a one destination gig. It's just keep moving on and learning and discovering and adapting and bringing it all into what's what's now and what's coming forward.
00;57;02;28 - 00;57;11;14
Chris
Okay. And and if you were to, to find some courage.
00;57;11;16 - 00;57;28;09
Chris
And, and give yourself permission to, to show up how you wanted to show up. How do you want to show up, you know, going forward. So as you, as you take the steps into the future. Yeah.
00;57;28;12 - 00;57;37;16
Pip
Advocating more for them. Like.
00;57;37;18 - 00;57;58;19
Pip
Not staying silent to keep myself safe. Actually, speaking, even when the sea is there. Because what I have to say can make a difference. Not just to my child, but to another parent and to another parent's child.
00;57;58;21 - 00;58;04;12
Pip
So yeah, to speak up and to advocate.
00;58;04;14 - 00;58;17;11
Pip
And for myself. To advocate for myself. It's not an easy transition to make. It's not an easy thing to do.
00;58;17;14 - 00;58;30;27
Pip
But staying silent doesn't make it any easier. It just allows other people to stay misinformed.
00;58;30;29 - 00;58;58;12
Pip
And that's not the sense of arguing with schools, because that's going to get me nowhere. But to speak up for my child and for myself, and for the kind of parenting that I've chosen to do. Yeah, just being more more comfortable in speaking out.
00;58;58;14 - 00;59;50;28
Chris
Yeah. And and with that comfort, to speak out, I'm imagining that, that there's going to be some, you know, some, some challenges with that. This can it's not going to be, there's going to be some friction. There's going to be some, some people who, who maybe see things different way to you and, and, and, you know, the you're talking about another person here and other people, so, so perhaps even with your child, there's the, allowing yourself to have these feelings and emotions and to speak your truth and to speak your advocacy and to to to stand how, how you want to stand and to have your your courageous
00;59;50;28 - 01;00;20;29
Chris
thoughts and to give yourself permission, but then also there's the other side of things as well, based on other people's experience of you, your child experience of you, how can you allow and trust and just release any sort of control and let the, reins or the whip or the shackles or the, the, the, you know, the forcing it to be any sort of way.
01;00;21;00 - 01;00;32;05
Chris
How can you allow this to just just trust that things or things will pan out, how they pan out, you know,
01;00;32;07 - 01;01;06;05
Pip
Because I've actually got a lot of experience in that. When I started out on this whole parenting journey, I had not actually, I just had to trust and let it unfold. And now, as they're adults, I realise I'm really good at the long game. What I had no clue about has actually panned out pretty well. So when my instinct is pushing me or driving me to do something, I can trust it.
01;01;06;08 - 01;01;11;19
Pip
Yeah.
01;01;11;21 - 01;01;12;07
Pip
Yeah.
01;01;12;09 - 01;01;44;04
Chris
Yeah you can. Yeah. And if you. And if you allow that instinct to to just show up now and and if you think about the future, moving into the future optimistically allowing it instinct to be trusted. What's your intention going forwards from. We hang out today going forwards. What's your intention? Most optimistic intention.
01;01;44;07 - 01;02;17;23
Pip
That I'll be okay with taking the the left hand fork instead of the right hand going in my own path, following my own, My own guidance, my own gut instinct as to where I need to be, when I need to say how I need to get there. That I'll be okay. Just because a lot of people won't understand that doesn't make it the wrong path.
01;02;17;23 - 01;02;27;08
Pip
It's just the way I need to go. Yeah.
01;02;27;11 - 01;02;55;07
Chris
Okay. And if you are to take that, that part of you that that made choices that if if you were faced with that situation today, with your knowledge, your understanding, your awareness, your love, your capacity, you might do things differently. So if you were to to connect with that part of you that made those choices in the past.
01;02;55;10 - 01;03;20;21
Chris
How could you in what way can you accept, forgive, transcend, and, you know, be real merciful to that. That part of you, what would that what would that be like? Can you can you pitch yourself forgiving and moving forwards?
01;03;20;23 - 01;03;48;04
Pip
Yeah I can I've actually got like it's another example, but, I recently unearthed a photograph of me with my eldest when he was about two. And I was able to look at the put that woman in the photo and just give her so much love and so much understanding for what she was dealing with that she felt incapable of dealing with at the time.
01;03;48;07 - 01;04;02;22
Pip
And just saying the part of her that felt small and hurt and overwhelmed and actually just really loving her anyway.
01;04;02;24 - 01;04;35;09
Pip
And I think I can translate that to now, looking back at, the younger version of me, at the time this was all happening with my child with the same kind of understanding that really there was just confusion, overwhelm, that sense of lot being lost, unsupported. But she powered on and did her best anyway.
01;04;35;11 - 01;05;20;23
Pip
She found a way through, wasn't perfect, and that wasn't ideal, but it was still a way through. And. I do have a great relationship with my child. Still. So it kind of been kind of been that long. It was obviously enough love and understanding. To pull it both through. Yeah. So yeah, she was just doing the best she could at the time with not enough resources.
01;05;20;25 - 01;05;23;28
Pip
And she still came through. Okay.
01;05;24;01 - 01;05;29;21
Chris
Yeah.
01;05;29;23 - 01;06;08;02
Chris
And then allowed this to to turn into love and allow yourself to love that part of you allow that that part of you to, to transform into to to come into you now, allow that love, that part of you to come to you. Allow yourself to love you, love others, love your child, love the different parts of your child, the past parts and the present parts and the future parts.
01;06;08;04 - 01;06;20;21
Chris
Allow that love to just come to you now and just really feel that love. Feel a sense of love. It's above acceptance. It's above, it's above this.
01;06;20;21 - 01;06;24;29
Pip
Yeah, yeah.
01;06;25;02 - 01;06;49;19
Chris
You might notice that. Feel some kind of way. And if you could physically bring that love into you, where do you think that love is needed or where does it belong or where does it go? Where does it fit physically in your body? Where does that where does that go?
01;06;49;22 - 01;06;56;13
Pip
It actually feels that space where that high anxiety was.
01;06;56;16 - 01;07;01;29
Pip
It's.
01;07;02;01 - 01;07;05;03
Pip
Yeah.
01;07;05;06 - 01;07;10;26
Pip
And it's warm and it's lighter.
01;07;10;28 - 01;07;45;02
Chris
Nice. Yeah. Feel that. Allow that warm light. Love feeling up there in that spot. Allow that to be there. Allow it, to fill that spot to to to live there, to emanate from there. And notice any sort of joy that you can notice in any sort of peace. Allow that to just settle in as you take your next breaths.
01;07;45;02 - 01;08;16;16
Chris
And as your breath passes through that, and as your blood pumps through that, as your energy buzzes and vibrates through that location. Notice any sort of wisdom and insight that that needs to happen. It comes from that place, as you were to place your hands just over that place. Now pit. Yeah, just feel this feeling that you're feeling now.
01;08;16;18 - 01;08;24;15
Chris
This love, this pace. Reason, joy.
01;08;24;18 - 01;08;37;01
Chris
And when you can really feel that and you can really feel your hands on that place and you get a real sense.
01;08;37;03 - 01;08;48;14
Chris
Just take a big, deep breath and and hold it there. And when you know it's stored.
01;08;48;16 - 01;08;57;25
Chris
You can take your hands off and. Take a breath and come back and open your eyes.
01;08;57;27 - 01;09;15;29
Chris
When you're ready.
01;09;16;02 - 01;09;23;13
Chris
Hello.
01;09;23;15 - 01;09;27;11
Chris
How you feel. And pit.
01;09;27;13 - 01;09;33;17
Pip
Like we've been there. Did that much.
01;09;33;19 - 01;09;36;23
Chris
We went there. We did it.
01;09;36;26 - 01;09;41;17
Pip
Yeah. And that tension.
01;09;41;19 - 01;09;43;00
Chris
Oh, cool.
01;09;43;03 - 01;09;51;11
Pip
The awesome line. Yeah.
01;09;51;13 - 01;10;14;14
Chris
I'm wondering what you think will be different, or how you think you'll be able to to to be different going forwards, you know, especially at night, you know, like prebid in intra bed, post post bed. You know what? You know what, what might be different.
01;10;14;17 - 01;10;25;23
Pip
Might sleep. Yeah. And you know. Yeah.
01;10;25;26 - 01;10;51;00
Pip
And maybe not so disconnected. Or finding ways to disconnect. Maybe just allowing myself to be where I am. You know, removing that is not having the need for the distractions all the time.
01;10;51;03 - 01;11;10;07
Pip
Yeah. Yeah. Because the calmness that I'm feeling now, it's not going to require anything to settle it down because it's already settled. Yeah.
01;11;10;09 - 01;11;46;18
Chris
Yeah, I love it. Okay, cool. That sounds lovely. Well. I be excited to to hear from you and how things are going. So would you be able to, or if I, if I sent you an email, like, I don't know, later, another time in the future, would you be alright just sharing. You're sharing your experience as a bit of a follow up, just to see how things are going.
01;11;46;21 - 01;11;47;18
Pip
Yeah, absolutely.
01;11;47;25 - 01;11;58;19
Chris
Cool. Awesome. Yeah. I'm picturing maybe, like in a week or two just sending you an email, just saying, how's things?
01;11;58;21 - 01;12;00;14
Pip
Yeah. Yeah. Correct.
01;12;00;20 - 01;12;15;29
Chris
Awesome. Yeah. All right. I'll do that. Well, okay. Well that was that was a journey I appreciate. Well, thanks for thanks for letting me sit in the passenger seat and, and, and be with you as you here, as you drove through that.
01;12;16;01 - 01;12;19;07
Pip
Thanks for being the navigator. Yay.
01;12;19;09 - 01;12;35;26
Chris
Shotgun. All right, well, thank you so much. For for for that. And, I love you and leave you and I'll, I'll touch base in in a couple of weeks.
01;12;35;28 - 01;12;36;12
Pip
Perfect.
01;12;36;20 - 01;12;38;24
Chris
Thanks, Chris, I pit. See you later.
01;12;38;26 - 01;12;39;17
Pip
Yeah.
01;12;39;20 - 01;12;44;04
Chris
Bye bye.
01;12;44;06 - 01;12;54;09
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
01;12;54;11 - 01;13;20;10
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group or one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Hey, have the best day ever!
01;13;20;13 - 01;13;20;22
Chris
For.
