00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
So get ready to heal your body. Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
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Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:56:13 - 00:01:23:02
Chris
Get everybody and welcome to this episode of the Ending Body Burnout Show. We are excited to have on our podcast today, a coaching session with the lovely Daisy and I'm excited to to go through with Daisy some. She's really experiencing a challenging, hard time at the moment in her life. We'll get into that a little bit and we'll hear her story.
00:01:23:04 - 00:01:47:02
Chris
My intention today is to one inspire, motivate, connect dots in regards to the more metaphysical side of things. Not so much to give any sort of diagnosis of physical clinical advice. That is definitely Philip is realm. But thank you so much, everyone for joining us. Thank you, Daisy, for coming on. And I reckon we get stuck into it.
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Chris
So welcome to the show, Daisy.
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Daisy
Thank you very much.
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Chris
So, we we had a brief chat off air just then. but but would you like to just in as much detail as you possibly want to or care to tell us who you are? And, maybe like a little bit more about, like, what you do, how old you, give us all the, the details that we need to know and that I need to know for our call today.
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Daisy
My name. Daisy, I'm 45 years old. I I'm a stay at home mom with a little three year old. I currently suffer from Ms.. And so that's why I'm not working. I just can't do that because I don't have the mobility issues. And so I'm just here today because I experienced a death in my family. My dad passed away almost four months ago, and I'm just struggling with the whole emotional stress side of things.
00:02:50:17 - 00:02:58:15
Daisy
And I just need to be able to calm down because my body has just gone totally out of whack.
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Chris
Yep.
00:03:02:13 - 00:03:27:08
Chris
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, Daisy. that hasn't happened to me. So, like, literally, I can't I can't possibly imagine what it would be like to to have, your dad pass away. I know when when my granddad passed away, there was a it was a it was a challenging time for, for my extended family.
00:03:27:08 - 00:03:45:19
Chris
So my my condolences. I can understand logically how stressful that would be, but I heard you say struggling with stress. what do you. What do you mean by struggling? What does that look like to you?
00:03:45:21 - 00:04:11:07
Daisy
I guess since I got the call to say that my dad had passed, I have just basically felt my whole body. Just like, tied on itself. It's like I have these mobility issues and my before my dad's party now getting like really good. And I was able to like mobilise really good. But then after I got the call and within a day or two, my mobility just totally stopped working.
00:04:11:07 - 00:04:31:16
Daisy
So I had to use my walking stick a lot more. I woke up a lot more independently because I just couldn't get around as easily as I could before. like, I couldn't believe how quickly it had happened. And then my sleep has just been, like, all over the. I was like, I'm just not sleeping properly. I've been like a lot more.
00:04:31:17 - 00:04:50:12
Daisy
And I've even had, like, more migraines as well. And so I think my GP for that and she's like, had to prescribe these type for things just to be able to throw the headaches down. And so it's just been really tough. And like having a three year old on the side is like trying to deal with my health issues.
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Daisy
But then look after three year old, it's just like I go to bed like 730 at night because I'm just so worn out and it's just, yeah, just not cool.
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Chris
Okay.
00:05:03:22 - 00:05:09:00
Daisy
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Daisy
Yeah. You just don't want this to happen to anyone. It's like, yeah, it's really awful.
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Chris
Okay.
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Chris
I think about words a lot. it's probably if anyone out there is like me, and they they listen to words and language. drops a comment. I, I hear some of the the language that you're saying. Daisy. really awful don't want this to happen to anyone. struggling. You know, that sort of language, right? And I'll said logically, it it it makes sense.
00:06:04:02 - 00:06:42:07
Chris
Now, sometimes what I'm, what I'm about to say can be like, what are you talking about, man? But. This is this is, a daisy. Thinking problem. When you. When your dad passed away, You made that mean something about you? There was there was some sort of a story, some sort of, internal thing clicked or turned off, or it was just like it just went off inside of you, right?
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Chris
And.
00:06:45:21 - 00:07:11:15
Chris
There's no physical. Do you get what I mean? Like there's no physical button that got pressed when your dad passed away. That equals, sleeplessness, migraines. mobility limitations. Do you get what I mean? Like, you didn't walk into a wall and all of a sudden got a black eye or a blood nose, right? Like, that's that's a literal physical thing that happens.
00:07:11:15 - 00:07:41:02
Chris
So, so therefore it's not a, this isn't a physical traumatic experience that, that we're talking about that's happened. This is a metaphysical traumatic experience. Yeah. All right okay. First first on the page. so so I know now where. Oh yeah. There's there's, you know, physical things that you can do, like if you're not sleeping, if you've got migraines, you like, you went to your doctor and you got those wafer things to settle the headaches down and all that.
00:07:41:02 - 00:07:47:13
Chris
So it's like, that's a physical management of, of a symptom.
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Daisy
Yeah.
00:07:48:16 - 00:08:01:10
Chris
And so you're taking those boxes, you're doing the things you're trying trying to do the best you can. But here you are. You're you're stressed, you're sleepless, and sad.
00:08:01:11 - 00:08:03:20
Daisy
Yeah.
00:08:03:22 - 00:08:32:11
Chris
But also the language that you're using really awful. I'm not looking at you like I'm, I, I'm what, choosing not to to see, like, literally say, see you right now. But I hear your your voice. I'm listening to the sounds of your voices, your voices, your voice I can hear. It's like a pushing. It's a it's a straight, there's a straining element.
00:08:32:13 - 00:08:48:06
Chris
listen back in the recording and listen to your your your tone of voice. Yeah. If I didn't know your story and I heard you talking, I would start to ask myself. Gee, she sounds strained.
00:08:48:08 - 00:08:51:03
Daisy
Yeah.
00:08:51:05 - 00:09:04:14
Chris
And I know now that this is this is a daisy issue. Not necessarily a dad passing away.
00:09:04:16 - 00:09:07:09
Daisy
Yeah. Issue. Yeah.
00:09:07:11 - 00:09:34:15
Chris
Because I know this. As I said at the start, this literally has never happened to me. In my experience. My grandad passed away that he was a father figure in my life. but not everyone whose dad passes away has the effects that you had. Do you get it? You get what I mean? Yeah. So it's so. So now we like, take all that into consideration.
00:09:34:17 - 00:10:05:10
Chris
Like. Right. Okay. So the way you perceive this experience happening that, I call this a signif emotional event SCA. And what you see when you have this emotional event, what you perceive, you're choosing to perceive your pattern, you're programmed to perceive it that way. so I kind of want to get an idea of your map, your perception, your frame, how you see this experience.
00:10:05:10 - 00:10:29:16
Chris
Because the way Joe Bloggs or Sally down the street see their dad passing away, it they might not have struggled with that. They might not have been stressed by that. They might not have been stretched and worn thin, even if they did have a three year old, even if they did have Ms.. Somebody else, Sally Simms, Joe Bloggs, they might not have had the same effect that you had.
00:10:29:16 - 00:10:48:11
Chris
Yeah. So why are you, this is my question. In my mind, it's like, why is Daisy having these symptoms? Why is her system as a whole? struggling awful, worn out, not working properly.
00:10:48:13 - 00:10:48:21
Daisy
Yeah.
00:10:49:00 - 00:11:17:13
Chris
Struggling. Yeah. so. Why are you taking this now? This is with. With love. But also like, a real targeted, pointed question while this hits you so hard. When your dad passed away, like the obvious, there's obvious things and. But, like, just see if you can feel comfortable getting those things out, like, there's going to be some real obvious things.
00:11:17:13 - 00:11:25:16
Chris
But what are now what are all the reasons why this is hard for you?
00:11:25:18 - 00:11:56:10
Daisy
well, my dad was diagnosed with early onset dementia and sorry, that was like happened when I had moved away from home because, like, I grew up in Tasmania and lived down there until I was like 20 odd and then I moved to the mainland. And so he was diagnosed with dementia. After I'd moved to the mainland. And it's, I think because I wasn't there, I feel like I kind of wasn't able to assist him and like, help him and just be there for my, my sisters and my mum and everybody else.
00:11:56:10 - 00:12:24:08
Daisy
And so I kind of feel guilty in a regard because I wasn't there to help like everybody else was. And so I don't know where that is. Part of what is causing me to like, had to deal so hard because, like, I just feel guilty a lot of the time for like different things, like throughout the whole experience of like, I even like the other night when I couldn't sleep, I was thinking, what?
00:12:24:10 - 00:12:47:15
Daisy
How awful of a daughter I was because I wasn't there to like, help and assistance and just doing things. Even though I couldn't be because I lived in a different state. And so I was just like really hot and like my mum and said to me, you don't need to feel guilty. It's like you couldn't help it because situations didn't allow you to be there.
00:12:47:15 - 00:13:04:13
Daisy
But I'm just like, I guess for me it's like even that I seem to be guilty. I still feel guilty even though I shouldn't, if that makes sense. I just yeah, yeah.
00:13:04:15 - 00:13:08:01
Daisy
00:13:08:02 - 00:13:37:01
Daisy
It's just. Yeah. I'm sorry. I just don't know how to let go of this dude. Even though I don't need to hold onto this guilt. Because I probably was a good daughter and did everything I could when I could if. Yeah.
00:13:37:03 - 00:13:46:04
Chris
Yeah.
00:13:46:06 - 00:13:53:02
Chris
Okay, so.
00:13:53:04 - 00:14:10:14
Chris
What? What else might there be? So. So you feel guilty? You moved away? Is that. Is there anything else that that might be popping up? Like, how is your relationship with your dad? Before dementia?
00:14:10:16 - 00:14:27:08
Daisy
like, I guess, like, with any relationship, you have, like, good days and bad days, it was like there was like five of us kids in the family. And so basically, being the oldest of five, I always feel like.
00:14:27:10 - 00:14:50:17
Daisy
I had to be the one who did good. And like, I couldn't do anything bad, even, like if I did something bad, it's like was not good because I had to be an example to the others. And so I just felt like a lot of pressure in that regard, like being the oldest. And so it's just like. Yeah, pull on.
00:14:50:19 - 00:15:12:11
Chris
What would you say to yourself? Like, what's the what's that language in your mind? you know, be you're the ol I'm, I'm the oldest, I've got to blah blah blah. Do you know what I mean? Like, what do you what's something inside of you that you're saying? Like a belief. If you've got that, do you know what I mean?
00:15:12:11 - 00:15:33:13
Chris
Like you've got that pressure. In order for you to feel that pressure, you've got to be saying something to you. Something's got to be this chatter, chatter, chatter just happening over and over again. It's like you're the oldest. You got to step up. Yeah. Or whatever. You know that I just made that. Yeah. But what sort of things are you saying to yourself that equals pressure?
00:15:33:15 - 00:15:52:03
Daisy
Like I need to be good enough. I need to, like, be a good example. I can't make mistakes then, like, I need to basically be like the the golden child, even though I'm not the golden child.
00:15:52:04 - 00:15:53:21
Daisy
Yeah.
00:15:53:23 - 00:16:00:03
Chris
Gotcha.
00:16:00:05 - 00:16:23:16
Chris
So. That there's a little base there. So. So we call those limiting beliefs that they kind of like they lock you into a way of perceiving or saying, I need to be good enough. I can't make mistakes. I have to be the golden child. I'm not the golden child.
00:16:23:18 - 00:16:25:02
Chris
Does that make sense?
00:16:25:04 - 00:16:26:14
Daisy
Now that makes sense.
00:16:26:16 - 00:16:48:16
Chris
Because if you if you just say you wake up in the morning and you say today is going to be a great day, today is going to be a great day. Today is going to be a great day. Today is going to be a great day. You're you know, you might have some experiences that are challenging and might perceive to be not a great day, but you're more likely to have a great day because you're telling yourself over and over again.
00:16:48:18 - 00:17:18:01
Chris
So that's going to be a great day. It's going to be a great day. Or you tell yourself, I really want to buy a a red car. I really want to buy a red car. And then all of a sudden you start noticing red cars everywhere. Yeah, there's a part in your brain that switches on, when you say you want something or when you say something, an intention or your attention is on something and you're mindful of it, you're more likely to to say or perceive that thing.
00:17:18:03 - 00:17:31:06
Chris
So if you're saying, I need to be good enough, I can't make mistakes. I have to be the golden child. I'm not the golden child.
00:17:31:08 - 00:18:03:00
Daisy
Yeah. I need to just be kinder to myself and not so hard on myself and realise that it's okay to make mistakes because others would learn from seeing that you make mistakes, that they can make mistakes and it's okay because if you don't make mistakes, they'll feel good. If they're not making mistakes themselves. Yeah, yeah.
00:18:03:02 - 00:18:24:17
Chris
So. Have we stumbled on a pattern? Is this is this pattern of golden child? you talking about your your child, your three year old taking care of your child? You're the oldest of. Did you say five, five kids.
00:18:24:18 - 00:18:25:16
Daisy
Yeah.
00:18:25:18 - 00:18:52:03
Chris
Okay. So pressure taking care of dad, taking care of your child. Taking care of your siblings, you know, like responsibility, care. Like, is this. Is this, is this a problem or is this a pattern?
00:18:52:05 - 00:19:18:11
Daisy
Probably like a pattern. I'm not caring for myself, but I'm caring for like everybody else. But not giving myself any care. And so that's why I'm willing to run down, because I'm looking out for everybody else. But I'm forgetting about myself. And the thing is, if I don't look after me, then I'm not going to have the resources to be able to look after others, because I'll be no good.
00:19:18:13 - 00:19:24:09
Daisy
Wow. Just came running a circle. Just worked it out myself.
00:19:24:10 - 00:19:30:04
Chris
There you go, guys. We'll take care and we'll see you next time.
00:19:30:06 - 00:19:32:17
Chris
Hey, have you written that down?
00:19:32:19 - 00:19:33:18
Daisy
I've written it down.
00:19:33:19 - 00:19:36:07
Chris
Yeah, like what you just said. There?
00:19:36:09 - 00:19:37:15
Daisy
No.
00:19:37:17 - 00:19:41:05
Chris
If you got a pen and paper,
00:19:41:07 - 00:19:45:15
Daisy
one up and a pencil, like.
00:19:45:17 - 00:20:09:13
Chris
See if you can just take a moment to to write this down. by the way, listening listeners, I'll do it. Well, Daisy's looking for her writing instrument and paper. I'll do this a lot with people. I'll get them to write down key phrases and and and, intentions. Because once it's in, once it's in your mind, you know, you can't completely deal with it.
00:20:09:13 - 00:20:28:06
Chris
But when you get it out of your mind and you plug it into paper, I call that your outlet. And and it's, it's in that moment that you write it down. Now you can actually do something. You're not taking up, ram space in your brain, in your mind, because it's on paper. You don't have to use memory up here.
00:20:28:07 - 00:20:43:19
Chris
Now, you can use that energy that you were remembering something. The fifth something for for something else like healing, dedicated to more empowering things, more resourceful stuff. Okay. Got your pen and paper?
00:20:43:21 - 00:20:44:15
Daisy
Yeah.
00:20:44:17 - 00:21:12:20
Chris
Okay. The pattern need to be good enough. Can't make mistakes. Have to be the golden child. But I'm not the golden child. I need to be kinder to myself. I have to let people know that's okay. To make mistakes. That's beautiful. Like, you know, nothing's a problem till the that everything's okay. It's not. Maybe on the surface, being an inspiration to others is okay, but at what point is that a pattern?
00:21:12:22 - 00:21:29:06
Chris
And how is that turning into a problem? And you said, well, I give to everybody else. I'm always giving to everybody else. I'm always looking after everybody else. And the problem is, if I what did you say?
00:21:29:08 - 00:21:34:00
Daisy
I look after myself. I won't be able to look after others.
00:21:34:02 - 00:21:37:01
Chris
There you go. Okay, write that down.
00:21:37:03 - 00:21:42:02
Daisy
I put here for myself to be able to look after, care for others.
00:21:42:04 - 00:21:46:03
Chris
Yeah.
00:21:46:05 - 00:21:49:23
Daisy
Even I the other way. I said it sounded better.
00:21:50:00 - 00:21:58:02
Chris
That's cool. Awesome. Okay, so that now.
00:21:58:04 - 00:22:19:20
Chris
That's deep. And if we're on a iceberg tour and we're looking at icebergs, you've just popped on your snorkel and you've had a look under the surface, but there's lots of iceberg under the water, so I reckon we can go deeper. Hey.
00:22:19:22 - 00:22:25:10
Daisy
Oh, really? Yeah. Because you put a snorkel on then.
00:22:25:12 - 00:22:30:11
Chris
let's let's leave the snorkel. Let's grab a, submarine.
00:22:30:12 - 00:22:31:21
Daisy
Oh, okay.
00:22:32:01 - 00:23:05:17
Chris
Or like a let's get right down to the nitty gritty. Looking after your face. Looking. Gee, that was good English. That was like 60 words in one. Looking after yourself isn't a problem until it is. So how is. You know. How is the, like, can we call this a fact, or how is the pattern of looking after everybody else but not yourself?
00:23:05:19 - 00:23:17:04
Chris
How is this a problem? First problem is, well, if you look after, others, you can't look after yourself. Yeah.
00:23:17:06 - 00:23:31:02
Chris
How else is this a problem that you give to everybody else? And. And why is it a problem that.
00:23:31:04 - 00:23:41:21
Chris
Why is it a problem that you can't take care of others? Like what? What's what's the real problem here? Why do you care if you look after everybody?
00:23:41:22 - 00:23:49:18
Daisy
Because.
00:23:49:20 - 00:24:13:13
Daisy
I guess they should be able to. Because they've all got partners inside. Their partner should be able to look after them. And so they should be looking after themselves, and their partner should be looking after them. And I should be able to let go of the reins and just trust the other people that they're going to look after my loved ones just as good as well.
00:24:13:13 - 00:24:17:17
Daisy
I can.
00:24:17:19 - 00:24:22:15
Daisy
Because.
00:24:22:17 - 00:24:44:03
Daisy
Yeah, I need to like, just let go so that they can just do things. And if they make mistakes, then they can learn from their mistakes rather than me being responsible for making sure they don't make mistakes.
00:24:44:05 - 00:25:05:16
Chris
Okay, I like it. Now let's let's actually go up. We're not we're not going to go problem. So let's climb to the top of the iceberg. Now let's find the point of the iceberg. What's the point of caring for others and your mind? Daisy.
00:25:05:18 - 00:25:13:10
Daisy
Just so that they don't get hurt and they just.
00:25:13:12 - 00:25:29:10
Daisy
I don't know the word. I've lost the word. Just so that they're happy and just. Yeah. And just content.
00:25:29:12 - 00:25:36:10
Chris
Okay. And.
00:25:36:12 - 00:25:45:15
Chris
Why is it important for you to to force them to be happy and content and to force them to not get hurt?
00:25:45:17 - 00:26:09:00
Daisy
Because I don't like seeing them hurt? Because then I hurts me because I'm like, connected to them, even, like, even like they're my siblings and all the rest of it. It's just like, you just don't like seeing siblings of your loved ones hurt because it hurt you.
00:26:09:01 - 00:26:17:20
Chris
Well, it doesn't hurt me when you say it hurts you. You mean it hurts like you, not me. When you say you, you mean you, right?
00:26:17:22 - 00:26:24:15
Daisy
Yeah. Like me. It's like if they're hurting, it's like you're hitting beaches.
00:26:24:17 - 00:26:27:22
Chris
Well, no, it's not you, it's you. So do you get what I'm saying?
00:26:28:03 - 00:26:29:13
Daisy
It's me. Yeah.
00:26:29:13 - 00:26:34:07
Chris
So that's what you mean to I hurt like so try that.
00:26:34:09 - 00:26:53:02
Daisy
Try hurt? Yeah. There you go. If they're hurting. So not the not the listeners. It's like it's maybe my hurts. And so rather than me hurting. I just don't want them to get hurt. So then boom everybody can just be happy.
00:26:53:04 - 00:26:58:10
Chris
Everybody can be happy.
00:26:58:12 - 00:27:02:10
Chris
Yeah. This is this. This is a big task, isn't it?
00:27:02:12 - 00:27:03:15
Daisy
The.
00:27:03:17 - 00:27:29:20
Chris
That sounds like hard to hard to hold on to. That's a that's a monumental task. it's, you're playing save your to to your siblings, your child, your dad. I bet you if we if we dug a little bit deeper or we had a look around, we'd see this pattern playing out elsewhere when we.
00:27:29:22 - 00:27:32:16
Daisy
Yeah.
00:27:32:18 - 00:27:45:03
Chris
Daisy. Daisy. The protector. Daisy, the, enforcer of safety, the safety officer.
00:27:45:05 - 00:27:54:16
Daisy
Yeah. The yellow vest. Yellow. That's why way don't work that way. Because that way, it's going to harm you. Come this way.
00:27:54:18 - 00:28:01:00
Chris
Jeepers creepers. What? What could this possibly have?
00:28:01:02 - 00:28:30:12
Chris
In common, like if you think about this, is a metaphor for Daisy taking on this load, taking on this burden, taking on this responsibility, this over responsibility, this safety officer where people care, want you to or not is like, I don't care if you want me to. I'm going to protect you. Yes, I'm I know I'm your big sister, but I am actually going to save you from anything.
00:28:30:14 - 00:28:43:01
Chris
What could that possibly metaphorically have in common with not being able to walk, being crippled?
00:28:43:03 - 00:28:51:19
Chris
Even though you can't. But like, you know what I mean? Like like having an effect on mobility. Metaphorically. What's the story? What do you reckon?
00:28:51:21 - 00:29:19:16
Daisy
I think it's because I'm doing everything for everybody else that I'm not giving it. I've got the words, but they're just stuck on the end of my tongue. Good job. so that. I facilitating all of them to be able to do everything and to keep them safe and to keep them protected. But I'm not protecting myself.
00:29:19:16 - 00:29:32:08
Daisy
And so I basically, I'm not being able to do what I want to do because I'm. Watching over them to make sure that they're safe.
00:29:32:10 - 00:29:46:19
Chris
Yeah. So. it's not not completely, but like, this is kind of a dissociate. Do you know what the word dissociated means outside of yourself?
00:29:46:20 - 00:29:48:10
Daisy
Not outside of myself.
00:29:48:12 - 00:29:57:23
Chris
Yeah. So it's like, dissociated when when you said you do. When you meant I meant.
00:29:57:23 - 00:29:58:07
Daisy
Yeah.
00:29:58:07 - 00:30:13:04
Chris
Yeah. Before like. Yeah. Daisy. And you were saying you and. All right. Yeah, I know what you mean. And it's very common way of speaking, but that's a dissociated way of speech. It's a dissociated speech pattern.
00:30:13:05 - 00:30:17:08
Daisy
Yeah, cuz you're not actually talking about me.
00:30:17:10 - 00:30:19:00
Chris
Oh.
00:30:19:02 - 00:30:19:16
Daisy
Yeah.
00:30:19:18 - 00:30:21:08
Chris
I'm.
00:30:21:10 - 00:30:21:22
Daisy
Yeah.
00:30:22:00 - 00:30:23:05
Chris
To get it.
00:30:23:07 - 00:30:25:20
Daisy
Yeah.
00:30:25:22 - 00:30:31:03
Chris
00:30:31:05 - 00:30:36:08
Chris
Which is you kind of did it again in the, in that explanation of yourself. Hey, it's like.
00:30:36:13 - 00:30:36:22
Daisy
Oh.
00:30:37:01 - 00:30:40:08
Chris
Do you know what it does that make sense?
00:30:40:10 - 00:30:43:17
Daisy
Yeah. To make them. Yeah.
00:30:43:19 - 00:31:14:20
Chris
And, I've fabulous saying that that I love I probably say this every day is as above so below as without so within as the universe. So, so, so if I spot something more than likely, I'm going to find that in a person somewhere else. So. So another way of saying what I just said is, the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
00:31:14:22 - 00:31:42:13
Chris
The way you do anything is the way you do everything. So if you're doing everything for everybody else in your family, if you're protecting others, if you're protecting a three year old and you know, putting bubble wrap around everything and you're taking on, we call it over responsibility. It's not under responsibility. You're not tapped out and emotionally disconnected.
00:31:42:15 - 00:31:48:13
Chris
See, you've got the opposite thing going on over responsibility.
00:31:48:15 - 00:31:51:14
Daisy
Yeah.
00:31:51:16 - 00:32:05:10
Chris
and so the way you do anything is the way you do everything. So more than likely. You've probably that pattern of over responsibility showing up in other areas of your life.
00:32:05:12 - 00:32:09:20
Daisy
Yeah.
00:32:09:22 - 00:32:28:23
Chris
And you've got boulders or icebergs that you're carrying around. Or towing. You're swimming through life or walking through life. You're towing behind you these icebergs. That sounds exhausting.
00:32:29:00 - 00:32:35:02
Daisy
Oh, yeah, it does.
00:32:35:04 - 00:32:40:06
Daisy
No wonder I can't do anything because I'm on all this stuff. I'm.
00:32:40:08 - 00:32:47:11
Chris
Yeah.
00:32:47:13 - 00:32:54:04
Chris
I wonder, hey, yeah.
00:32:54:06 - 00:32:58:16
Daisy
I'm like. Like, tired now. Just like I just want to go to sleep now.
00:32:58:18 - 00:32:59:18
Chris
Yeah.
00:32:59:20 - 00:33:18:15
Daisy
It's like. Yeah. Even I was just talking as, like, I feel like a whole ton is just been like, unravelled. All I'm thinking, I'm just like, oh, this is just too hard to carry anymore. Can I just put it down and go to sleep? Right.
00:33:18:18 - 00:33:45:01
Chris
Yeah. Okay. So to help you to do that, that's a target. That's a goal that you want. And if you want to hit that goal, if you want to achieve that goal, then you've got to aim. So Aim is an acronym, put your attention or your awareness on something like notice it. And then two, I create an intention.
00:33:45:06 - 00:34:12:15
Chris
Dictate your intention. Say you're going to do something like just set a goal or, you know, make make you want something and then mindfulness or make it happen. so a awareness what are you aware of now after we've been chatting for, for a good half hour, 40 minutes, what are you aware of now that you weren't aware of before?
00:34:12:17 - 00:34:34:22
Daisy
That I'm dragging a lot behind me. During the water by looking after everybody. You know. And then I need to just let go and not be sorry. But one.
00:34:35:00 - 00:34:36:04
Daisy
Yeah.
00:34:36:06 - 00:34:46:20
Chris
Beautiful. I, like I said, I've got to let go, but no one's no one's gonna force you. Right?
00:34:46:20 - 00:34:48:19
Daisy
So no.
00:34:48:21 - 00:35:09:07
Chris
So I actually, I don't know if you have to. I reckon you could hold on for, for a little bit longer. correct me if I'm wrong, but you've got so much practice holding on and towing icebergs that I reckon. Correct me if I'm wrong, Daisy, that you can actually tough this out for. I like years.
00:35:09:09 - 00:35:11:01
Daisy
Probably, but I don't want to.
00:35:11:03 - 00:35:13:22
Chris
Yeah, now we're cookin, you know. You know what?
00:35:14:01 - 00:35:16:08
Daisy
Yeah, I don't want to.
00:35:16:13 - 00:35:22:16
Chris
I want to. So what do you choose to do then? What's your intention?
00:35:22:18 - 00:35:30:18
Daisy
I choose to let others look after themself.
00:35:30:20 - 00:35:38:08
Daisy
And you let go of the responsibility.
00:35:38:10 - 00:35:41:05
Daisy
Maybe except for the three year old.
00:35:41:07 - 00:35:47:09
Chris
Yeah, I like it.
00:35:47:11 - 00:36:05:11
Daisy
Right. Anybody that's able to, they can take responsibility and look after themselves. And those that, we, you know, and can't look after themselves yet. I need to just be careful.
00:36:05:13 - 00:36:15:19
Chris
Right. So. So you want, you want adults to be adults, and you want the kids to grow up to be adults.
00:36:15:21 - 00:36:17:13
Daisy
Yeah.
00:36:17:15 - 00:36:23:03
Chris
Gotcha. How's that? How's that sound? As an intention?
00:36:23:05 - 00:36:48:19
Daisy
That sounds really good, because then I'm not holding on to anything anymore. And everybody else is just taking what they need to, and I'm just letting them take it. And then I'm helping the little one to facilitate, to be able to grow into their trees, to be able to look after themselves.
00:36:48:21 - 00:37:15:01
Chris
It's cool. So what's your mantra or what will you be mindful of as you, you know, we hang out, we say goodbye today and as you go about your day, you know life is going to happen. You going to go out into the real world, might get phone calls, texts, or you might say something or you have a memory or whatever, but what's your mantra to make sure that that this happens, how are you going to be mindful?
00:37:15:07 - 00:37:22:23
Chris
What are you going to say to yourself? What's a little affirmation that you can say to yourself to help you remember.
00:37:23:01 - 00:37:47:03
Daisy
That everyone's going to be okay, and you just stand back and just watch. And just step in if and when I need to. But otherwise, just stay back and let it go with the flow. Oh.
00:37:47:05 - 00:37:51:22
Daisy
So then I can just sleep, right?
00:37:51:23 - 00:38:00:00
Chris
Okay. Cool. So, so. And then that's the that's the,
00:38:00:02 - 00:38:06:14
Chris
proof that the pudding, the proof in the pudding is so you can sleep.
00:38:06:16 - 00:38:07:15
Daisy
Yeah.
00:38:07:17 - 00:38:10:02
Chris
So that's the target?
00:38:10:04 - 00:38:11:16
Daisy
Yeah.
00:38:11:18 - 00:38:19:04
Chris
Sleep. So therefore the symptom. So the target is to two sleep.
00:38:19:06 - 00:38:20:18
Daisy
Yeah.
00:38:20:20 - 00:38:30:00
Chris
And you know that this needs to happen. This, this, ehm, needs to happen when you're not sleeping.
00:38:30:02 - 00:38:32:19
Daisy
Yeah.
00:38:32:21 - 00:38:37:07
Chris
So.
00:38:37:08 - 00:38:57:12
Chris
So what's, how can you, if you like fast forward, you put yourself in the future and you're like okay, right. When we talk about on the podcast we talked about sleep and over response, like, what are you going to say to yourself? How's this going to play out in the future? Yeah, let's just say tomorrow or next week or whatever.
00:38:57:16 - 00:39:04:11
Chris
How are you going to actually make this happen? What's it going to look like?
00:39:04:13 - 00:39:11:12
Daisy
I'm.
00:39:11:14 - 00:39:14:00
Daisy
I'm just trying to picture in my head.
00:39:14:02 - 00:39:24:01
Chris
Beautiful. Yeah. Notice what you notice.
00:39:24:03 - 00:39:31:01
Chris
Even just without speaking. Now. Just like, see that in your mind, right? Can you see that? Can you see that now?
00:39:31:01 - 00:39:34:22
Daisy
Yeah, I can see it in my mind, but I just don't know how to put it into words.
00:39:35:02 - 00:39:44:00
Chris
That's. That's cool. Just do me a favour. Just keep keep noticing that. Just see that. Just. You don't have to speak.
00:39:44:02 - 00:39:50:09
Daisy
Yeah, but then I can tell all the other people what they need to do. So if they're struggling with stuff like this.
00:39:50:11 - 00:39:53:03
Chris
That's all right. Well, you're not rescuing them.
00:39:53:05 - 00:39:58:02
Daisy
I'll try. I can just rescue themselves.
00:39:58:04 - 00:40:10:04
Chris
That's it. They're not little kids. She don't have to wipe their bum. They're probably old enough to not need a mum. Oh. That rhymes. Put that on t shirt.
00:40:10:05 - 00:40:13:07
Daisy
Quick, write it down. Write it down.
00:40:13:09 - 00:40:17:14
Chris
Someone email that to me. Tell me what I just said.
00:40:17:16 - 00:40:22:10
Daisy
so you don't need to. What? Their bum. You're not them.
00:40:22:12 - 00:40:59:19
Chris
That's awesome. okay. So. So in your mind is seeing what you're saying and noticing this playing out, there's going to be conversations that you're hearing. there's there's words that you're hearing yourself say. You're hearing other people say, like, it just literally just happened. Then. It's like, it's okay, stand back and watch. I'm not there, mum. And they're old enough to wipe their own bum.
00:40:59:21 - 00:41:05:19
Chris
Yeah, so let it happen. Go with the flow.
00:41:05:20 - 00:41:20:07
Daisy
Yeah. Cuz that's what I could picture in my mind. And I could like, hear people like, say inside. Okay, I can do this. I don't need you to hold my hand. And I'm like, that's good.
00:41:20:09 - 00:41:27:19
Daisy
It's like, okay, I can just.
00:41:27:20 - 00:41:28:15
Daisy
Let you go.
00:41:28:15 - 00:41:31:20
Chris
I can just let you go.
00:41:31:22 - 00:41:34:04
Daisy
Because I'm not your mum.
00:41:34:06 - 00:41:37:14
Chris
Because I'm not your mum.
00:41:37:16 - 00:41:41:22
Daisy
And you can wipe your own bum.
00:41:42:00 - 00:41:42:11
Chris
Amen.
00:41:42:14 - 00:41:46:16
Daisy
You said that I'm going to have that in my head all the time.
00:41:46:18 - 00:41:50:08
Chris
Yeah, that's your red car.
00:41:50:10 - 00:41:55:20
Daisy
Yeah, I'm not your mum. Go wipe your mum.
00:41:55:22 - 00:42:02:11
Chris
And they'll look at you. Yeah. They might be like the heck you talking about. Like, listen to the podcast.
00:42:02:13 - 00:42:10:00
Daisy
Yes, absolutely. That's what I'll have in my head. It's like I'm not your mum. What? Your own bum. That's awesome.
00:42:10:02 - 00:42:11:13
Chris
That's awesome.
00:42:11:15 - 00:42:17:05
Daisy
And that's like being that I'll stay in my head now because it's like it rhymes so good.
00:42:17:07 - 00:42:20:20
Chris
That's your. That's your mindful mantra.
00:42:20:22 - 00:42:22:12
Daisy
Yeah, absolutely.
00:42:22:14 - 00:42:25:19
Chris
I'm not your mum. Why my parents.
00:42:25:22 - 00:42:30:05
Daisy
All.
00:42:30:07 - 00:42:37:00
Daisy
My goodness. So good. Anybody that listening to this is going to be like oh that person's Einstein.
00:42:37:02 - 00:42:52:11
Chris
I bet you I bet you they won't. I'll bet you will get a whole flurry of of texts and messages being like, I resonated so much with Daisy. Gosh darn it, I use that same saying, that same mantra, I'm aiming for the same thing.
00:42:52:13 - 00:42:58:23
Daisy
Yeah, go for it. It's like the best way. It's like, I'm not your mum. Wipe your own bum.
00:42:58:23 - 00:43:11:04
Chris
That's it. That is it. well, how do you feel? How? How's that sound? Plan of, plan of approach. Sound good?
00:43:11:06 - 00:43:16:12
Daisy
It does sound good. I think I could even use it on the three year old with the toilet. Trying to imply I'm not your mum.
00:43:16:12 - 00:43:19:00
Chris
What time should be like? You know, my.
00:43:19:00 - 00:43:24:17
Daisy
Mind, right? And your mum. But you need to wipe your inbox.
00:43:24:19 - 00:43:30:01
Chris
I love it, it's like pulp.
00:43:30:03 - 00:43:37:01
Daisy
You mind who does that anyways? Like I used to. My mom like. Yes, I'm still your mum. I'll always be your mum.
00:43:37:03 - 00:43:51:16
Chris
Yeah. That's awesome. That's so good. All right. Well. Well then, you know, just saying all will work well in some instances. And then in other instances maybe it won't work in the future. But for now it's like, yeah, we'll run with it.
00:43:51:18 - 00:43:55:07
Daisy
Anyone that's old enough to want their own bomb, it'll work for.
00:43:55:10 - 00:43:58:00
Chris
Yeah. That's it.
00:43:58:01 - 00:44:01:09
Daisy
I yeah, cool. Thank you.
00:44:01:14 - 00:44:14:22
Chris
No worries. Daisy, thanks so much for coming on. I, I had fun, I enjoyed it. thank you so much for for sharing openly and being humble and vulnerable. It's awesome.
00:44:15:00 - 00:44:28:12
Daisy
okay. Sorry about the long pauses when I couldn't think of what to say because I was just going through my head to try and find the words right.
00:44:28:14 - 00:44:30:18
Chris
Beautiful.
00:44:30:20 - 00:44:32:16
Daisy
Yeah.
00:44:32:18 - 00:44:49:01
Chris
Okay. Okay. Well, I'm gonna love you and leave you. Thank you so much for coming on. And, for everybody who's listening, let us know how you enjoyed this one. And, we will catch you later. Have the best day ever.
00:44:49:03 - 00:44:50:22
Daisy
Yes, I'll go and have a sleep now.
00:44:51:00 - 00:44:57:13
Chris
Sounds good. All righty. I'll hang up. Take care. And, chat to you later.
00:44:57:15 - 00:44:58:17
Daisy
Okay. Bye.
00:44:58:18 - 00:45:04:18
Chris
See ya. Yeah, I.
00:45:04:20 - 00:45:14:22
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:45:15:00 - 00:45:33:07
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Buddy Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group or one on one ending buddy burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Hey, have the best day ever!
