00:00:03:08 - 00:00:17:20
Chris
Hello and welcome to the Ending Body Burnout Show. We are your host Chris and Fili, co-founders of a multi-award winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues. While busyness.
00:00:17:20 - 00:00:25:01
Filly
Addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm, it's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:02 - 00:00:38:07
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplement hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:08 - 00:00:46:13
Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:14 - 00:00:57:09
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:57:11 - 00:01:07:21
Chris
And welcome to the Ending Body Burnout show. My name is Chris and today I am going to be speaking about.
00:01:07:23 - 00:01:33:05
Chris
A concept that is fundamental fundamental in healing. If you believe this, healings either going to be impossible to you, that door is going to be closed or it's going to be unnecessarily hard. And this concept is the concept around you're broken in some way, shape or form. I was looking on Instagram the other day and there was a there's a book that just came out by someone.
00:01:33:05 - 00:02:01:11
Chris
There was an ad and it was I am wonderfully broken my story through blah blah blah blah blah. I think it was something like that anyway. And and without digging too much into the book, it just represents a lot of mindsets that Fili and I see in our in our new clients that start working with us. This concept in this, this fear that you're broken, it's just it's baloney.
00:02:01:12 - 00:02:24:19
Chris
It's not true. It's actually really harmful for you. And it's a little bit gaslighting. It's a little bit negative isn't it. It's it's it's quite it's a mean belief. You're broken. You're messed up. This is the way you are. I've got a different way of thinking about things. You're not broken. And that's what I want to talk about to you.
00:02:24:20 - 00:02:51:05
Chris
With you today. When you believe that you are broken, the the path to healing is closed off to you. You close it yourself. I mean, why would you even go looking for for health? I mean, you might say it with your words, but. But really, when you believe that you're broken, how can you possibly open that door to, to to an outcome of healing?
00:02:51:05 - 00:03:13:17
Chris
You can't. So this this belief that you have is is so important to address straight out of the gates. We address this in what we call our reckoning phase of our ending body burnout method. Anybody? Burnout method? For those of you who don't know, is a six month healing accelerator designed to get to the root root cause of your energy, your mood, your gut issues.
00:03:13:19 - 00:03:37:18
Chris
We go first into lab testing and using functional medicine labs, we look at what part of your body systems aren't working the way they could or should. And then we investigate through root cause questioning and coaching. How you got here. Why is healing harder, if not impossible? What sort of mindsets, perspectives, nervous system dysregulation, stressors, all this sort of stuff?
00:03:37:18 - 00:03:47:22
Chris
Beliefs that you have about yourself are keeping you stuck and being broken is a biggie.
00:03:48:00 - 00:04:08:11
Chris
Before I go too far into this, I want to talk about the concept of a wonky box. Jamie and Fraser talked about this in his podcast and his book, and this is the Chris version of it. So there's a factory owner and he starts noticing he's he's got a dip in his, his numbers and all this data and all this sort of stuff, because his factory keeps spinning out these packages.
00:04:08:12 - 00:04:33:11
Chris
He can't even call them boxes, but he he labels them as wonky boxes because they're just not they're just not functional. He can't he doesn't have a saleable product. And he's about to put his whole factory machine up for grabs on eBay at a real discount to. But his manager comes to him and says, boss, I need to show you something.
00:04:33:13 - 00:05:02:07
Chris
So they duck off down the back to the computer room and he says, check this out and he looks into the computer, enter, prints out a whole spreadsheet of the programming. Hey, check this out. The factory is programmed to spit out these boxes. This way the machine's not broken. The machine's actually working exactly how it was programmed. We don't need a new machine, boss.
00:05:02:08 - 00:05:32:08
Chris
We just need to change the programming. And the boss looks at him, says, really? He's like, yeah, check this out, change the programming, and voila! Box now spat out. Not wonky, very saleable, very premium. A Gucci box happily ever after. The end. We have these things that we're experiencing in our life, and we can think of them as like wonky boxes.
00:05:32:08 - 00:06:09:18
Chris
We can consider them as things that are broken, not working, and we can sometimes go looking for ways to, I don't know, deal with it. We we get upset, we get frustrated, we get overwhelmed. But when we really look into the cause of it, the root cause of it, the programming is, is the reason we have the outcome or the observations that we have the the symptoms, the stresses, the frustrations, the overwhelms, or the things that we label as such are there because of the way we're programmed.
00:06:09:19 - 00:06:33:11
Chris
So if that's true, which I believe it is, we go back and have a look at the programming, mess around with that for a little, a little while and we start getting not wonky boxes, but actual resourceful outcomes. Here's another thing. I talk about this a lot. This is for those of you who are just listening on the YouTube version of this.
00:06:33:11 - 00:06:57:05
Chris
I've got a picture of me playing Uno against my daughter. I don't know if the deck was shuffled very well, but she ended up getting all the draw fours and all the wilds. And what am I going to do about it? I got dealt like a whole bunch of 69302. I got a few threes in there. Yay! Anyway, she had all the draw fours and I was just getting so many cards and she called Uno.
00:06:57:05 - 00:07:20:11
Chris
And then she won with a draw for. We can't control the cards that we've been done. Some people are born on this side of the planet, somewhere on that side of the planet. Some are born into this family, some are born into a family that some are born into. No family culture, societies, all this sort of stuff. We can't control the cards that we've been dealt, but we can just play the game, play the hand that we've got.
00:07:20:12 - 00:07:48:19
Chris
And Viktor Frankl talks about this in his book, Man's Search for meaning, and he talks about there's four things that we can we actually have power over and nobody can take these away from us. Thoughts, feelings, words, actions. They're the loss of our human freedoms. We all have agency to to control those things thoughts, feelings, words, actions. So whatever cards we've been dealt in life, that's our starting point.
00:07:48:21 - 00:08:15:14
Chris
How many stories do you know of people are born into into trauma and seeming disadvantage, and they've made something of their life either financially or spiritually or or relationships? You know, just because you've got, you've been dealt one card or a set of cards or a whole hand, doesn't mean that has to change the the end of your life.
00:08:15:16 - 00:08:24:10
Chris
The beginning doesn't have to dictate the end. There you go. I could leave it right there, but I won't. You're not broken.
00:08:24:12 - 00:08:56:21
Chris
You are not broken if you think you are. That's the end of the road for for healing. Why even go? Go to the next one? So for a moment, can you just humour me and consider yourself not broken just for a little bit? Here's another thing. We're always doing the best we can with what we've got. Whatever cards we've been dealt, we're always doing the best we can with the best we can in terms of knowledge, in terms of money, in terms of energy, in terms of support.
00:08:56:22 - 00:09:17:20
Chris
We're always doing the best we can with what we've got. This is actually a really good principle that I teach my my kids this, and I say this constantly to my clients. It helps to expand your perspective as well. When there's conflict, when we feel like we need a little bit of perspective on dad, why did they do that to me?
00:09:17:21 - 00:09:58:09
Chris
Or why is this happening to me? This principle doesn't excuse poor behaviour. It doesn't excuse wrong wrongdoing and breaking the law and all this sort of stuff and even traumatic experiences that happen. It doesn't excuse any of that, but it does help to see that that everybody's doing the best they can with what they've got. Even people who do do bad things, their brain, their life experience, has their the cards that they've been down doesn't excuse their behaviour.
00:09:58:09 - 00:10:28:00
Chris
But everybody's doing the best they can with what they've got. You're doing the best you can with what you've got. And quite frankly, at the moment you might be really low in capacity. You're not broken, you're just low in capacity. But when you try to live your life like you're 100%, when you're really on single digits, you heading for a burnout if you're not actually burned out already.
00:10:28:00 - 00:10:49:18
Chris
So be wherever you are and and just land wherever you are. You know, if you're if you're lowering capacity, will be lowering capacity. Stop trying to be this perfect version of you. All right. Here's another one. You only do what works.
00:10:49:20 - 00:11:21:11
Chris
The way you live your life. The things you repeatedly do. You do them because they work for some, for some way, shape or form. They give you a payoff. You get a gain for the things you do. You only do what works. I mean, if you if you, if you complain or tolerate something, but you don't change that thing you're complaining about or tolerating, it's obviously working for you somehow, some way, shape or form.
00:11:21:13 - 00:11:31:10
Chris
I think about this as the the centre line, Centrelink line of of issues that we get in their life.
00:11:31:12 - 00:11:53:16
Chris
Some people are just so happy to, to rock up to Centrelink and get the check every week. They complain about it but they keep doing it because it works for them. I've had some, some clients that I've worked with that are on a this is not to say don't do that, but but just to open your eyes to the fact that that's serving you, it's helping you.
00:11:53:16 - 00:12:24:17
Chris
You get a benefit from it. I've got some clients who have pensions or or something like that, veterans who've got, who get payments and support and they have to jump through hoops to get that those payments, those those funds, and they whinge and complain. You don't have to get them. You don't have to jump through those hoops.
00:12:24:17 - 00:12:44:20
Chris
Oh yes, I do. If I don't, I won't get the payments. Well, so it's your choice then. That's not my choice. Well, it is your choice. It's your choice because you're doing the hoop jumping and so that you can get the. No one's making you do that. You're choosing to do that, and it works for you. You obviously get a benefit.
00:12:44:21 - 00:13:05:19
Chris
No I don't. This is this is awful. Well, you're getting a benefit. It's just you're so very aware of a cost as well. There are costs of doing things and there's costs of changing. There's benefits of doing and there's benefits of changing. So you only do what works.
00:13:05:21 - 00:13:09:13
Chris
Here's another one.
00:13:09:15 - 00:13:43:00
Chris
Everything you do, there's a reason every behaviour has a belief underneath. I like to think of it this way. All roads lead to Rome. Or the way you do anything is the way you do everything. If you have a dysfunctional pattern, if you have a thing that you a wonky box in your life, if you have a thing that you not happy with underneath that if you think about it and you do enough digging underneath that is a dysfunctional belief about yourself.
00:13:43:02 - 00:14:07:21
Chris
And if you do this enough, you'll start to realise that all the dysfunctional patterns that you've got seem to point in the same direction. All roads lead to room Rome. All roads lead to Rome. All dysfunctional patterns underneath have a belief that is very similar, if not the same. And it's going to be a mean belief about yourself.
00:14:07:22 - 00:14:50:19
Chris
And it's going to be not nice. But here's the other thing. Every behaviour that you have has a positive intention. Everything that you do, there's a reason you do this because of that. You do that because of this. Like there is a there is a highest positive intention behind every behaviour that you do. So when you when you have a behaviour of which symptoms and sickness and stress are their behaviours.
00:14:50:21 - 00:15:21:11
Chris
If you've got something like that going on. There's a reason you're getting a benefit. You're getting a payoff in some way, shape or form. There's also a cost, but you are getting a benefit from it. Your body craves health. Your body wants to be healthy. Sickness, a weight gain, symptoms, all this sort of stuff. They can be a form of protection or communication from your unconscious.
00:15:21:13 - 00:15:50:01
Chris
Here's a way of of thinking about symptoms. Some of you might know this already, but what am I doing? I'm. The air in my lungs is coming up through my throat, and I'm getting little neck vibrations, and my mouth and my teeth and my tongue move and coordinate in a way that it creates shapes and sounds and it goes through into this microphone, into my computer, through the whatever it's doing technologically and into your eardrums.
00:15:50:04 - 00:16:29:10
Chris
Your eardrums vibrate and it goes to your brain. I've got an idea in my in my head, and I'm using neck vibrations and air through a technology into vibrating your ear into your brain. I'm communicating my ideas into your ideas. And that's that's how I communicate. Obviously, I'm never going to be perfect in my communication, because the movie that I have going on in my head and the ideas are imperfectly communicated, they are impure, communicated to you through neck vibrations and ear vibrations.
00:16:29:12 - 00:16:58:12
Chris
There is no way you will have a purity of awareness and understanding of what's going on in my head. It's like Chinese whispers, right? Your unconscious. My unconscious? How unconscious has no ability to do neck vibrations and inner vibrations and communicate in that sort of way. But it has needs. There are unconscious needs and we have found that unconscious needs are expressed through sensation.
00:16:58:14 - 00:17:36:22
Chris
And I believe that there are a lot of symptoms that you're you're experiencing that are unconscious communications. And and if you think about this, if your body craves health and you think about this from a from a different perspective, what sort of needs unconsciously are being can communicated to you via sensations? It's a it's an interesting concept, but your body does crave health.
00:17:36:22 - 00:18:06:02
Chris
It does want to be healthy. And and so it's unconsciously it's sending you signals that you slap a few of these signals together, and it creates a symptom. And the medical industry labels it a sickness or a disease and gives you a drug to control it without actually looking into what need is being communicated in the first place.
00:18:06:04 - 00:18:33:19
Chris
So here's another one going back to to the whole point around every behaviour has a positive intention. Well, if we're doing the best we can with what we've got and our body craves health and you're not broken, we're just trying to survive. We're just trying to play the hand that we've been dealt. We're trying to protect ourselves. We're trying to win.
00:18:33:21 - 00:18:43:18
Chris
Self-Protection has a positive intention, but sometimes, usually, often it shows up unrest.
00:18:43:20 - 00:19:09:04
Chris
Said differently. All self-protection is an act of love. We're trying to do the best we can with what we've got. We have needs, and we're going to meet those needs one way or another. And so this is this is loving this. We're trying to meet our needs. It's just that usually.
00:19:09:06 - 00:19:46:01
Chris
This self-protection is going to show up on resourceful okay. Here's a picture of oxygen tanks. We need oxygen to live. We have needs. And these needs get met all the time. They'll either be met, resourceful or fully. Here are the six core needs certainty, variety, significance, love and connection. Contribution and growth. These needs have to be met one way or the other.
00:19:46:02 - 00:20:17:04
Chris
If they're not met, then you know they always met. We have to meet them. We have to meet these needs. I'm just going to go through what these needs are right now. The first one is certainty. Certainty is about getting comfort, having comfort, being comfortable. We meet our need for certainty when we're comfortable, when we're safe, when we have control.
00:20:17:10 - 00:20:38:21
Chris
This is this is how we meet our needs for certainty. I mean, have a think about in your life. Where do you feel like you you feel comfortable? Where do you feel safe? Where do you feel in control? And I bet you if you think about it, you get a sense of certainty from from those, those things, you know what's going to happen.
00:20:38:22 - 00:21:09:06
Chris
The just like you're certain the sun will come up tomorrow when you're comfortable or safe or in control, you have that same level of certainty. Here's the next one variety. We all need variety. Newness. Uncertainty. Change. Surprise. Adventure. We all need something like this. And and we'll meet our needs for a variety. Some people need lots and lots and lots of variety.
00:21:09:07 - 00:21:35:23
Chris
Some don't. Some need variety in one area of their life, but but need a little bit less in another area. We all need variety somehow, some way, shape or form significance. We all have a need for significance. We all have a need to be important, of worth, to feel valued, to be independent, to have individuality. We all have a need to be special in some way, shape or form.
00:21:35:23 - 00:22:12:20
Chris
And this might be in one area of our life, but but less so in another. And when we don't have these needs met it, it will create a vacuum. And we seek to meet these needs for significance. For example, if you're having if you've got an unmet need for significance, an awful way of of doing that or an insecure way of being significant might be to create ill health, to create dis ease.
00:22:12:22 - 00:22:29:06
Chris
How many times do you feel cared for when you're the sick one? We see this time and time again. People will meet their need for significance through injury or ill health.
00:22:29:07 - 00:22:53:08
Chris
I know for a fact I get more cuddles with my with my daughter when she's sick. She she comes up and snuggles into me. And I'm not saying that every time she's sick, it's because she wants more cuddles, but a payoff of ill health for her or the symptom that she's experiencing. His dad is going to absolutely just dote on his daughter.
00:22:53:09 - 00:23:26:19
Chris
He I love I love my baby. And and there is a significant increase in cuddles when she is unwell. Love and connection. Moving on from that, we all have a need for meaningful relationships, contribution to give back, to add value, to have a legacy influence. We all have a need somehow to contribute. We all have a need to grow, to become, to achieve, to enlarge, attain, to, to realise our potential.
00:23:26:19 - 00:23:43:19
Chris
We all have a need for this and if we are not meeting these needs resourceful, we'll meet them. Here's a little little slide here. Meeting needs through survival patterns. Fear.
00:23:43:21 - 00:24:11:18
Chris
Here's my little cursor. Fear avoidance, control pressure or self-sabotage it. It may give short term relief but often creates long term costs to health, energy, relationships, and well-being. That's the unresolvable. The resourceful way is meeting needs through conscious choice, being intentional self-awareness, responsibility, values aligned action satisfies the real need underneath while supporting health, connection, confidence, growth, and long term well-being.
00:24:11:18 - 00:24:45:18
Chris
When we meet our needs resource fully, we don't need to go searching for an awful way because we've got our needs met and it's resourceful when we have our needs met. But fully an opportunity presents itself to us. We can say, all right, I'm aware I'm meeting a need here. I'm aware that this is going on. My intention is to meet this need in a more resourceful way.
00:24:45:20 - 00:24:50:08
Chris
My intention is to.
00:24:50:10 - 00:25:18:09
Chris
To to do things a little bit differently, to swap things out for a better way, a more resourceful way. So we have a concept and it's don't stop it, swap it. You're meeting a need, but instead of stopping it, forcing yourself to to not do the thing, swap it, find a more resourceful way, or find a more high quality way that's more congruent with your values.
00:25:18:11 - 00:25:47:12
Chris
For example, if you're meeting your need for variety by eating in a certain way, that's that's an awful or you've got habits that that are full and they're not really congruent to, congruent to your values. They're a little bit and water with where you want to be and who you want to be long term. We'll swap it out, find a higher quality way of meeting your needs.
00:25:47:14 - 00:26:16:17
Chris
And we love the concept of slow change. We love the concept of 1%. We love the law of incremental gains or marginal gains. Sorry if you can be more like a is this. Let's look at the feet. If you can be more like a tortoise, this is a tortoise because it doesn't have flippers. If you can be more like a tortoise or whatever going through life rather than the hare, you'll have lasting long term health.
00:26:16:19 - 00:26:45:00
Chris
Find the need. That's a resourceful. So find the need that's trying to be met, and then identify a more resourceful way of of meeting that need and and make change the 1% at a time and that that change will last. So how do you actually put this all into practice? Well, here's something for you. Philly and I have a thing called the ending body burnout method.
00:26:45:00 - 00:27:12:16
Chris
Some of you know about it. At the moment our doors are close to new clients. But but you can go on to our website and put yourself down on our waitlist. We also have some stuff that you can do in the meantime to to help you out. You can have a connect the dots experience with Phillipa to to connect up your symptomology and your sensations and the things that are going on in your life with a body system that that that might not be working the way it could or should.
00:27:12:18 - 00:27:34:22
Chris
And she can prescribe some lab tests for you to get some data on what's happening in your body. So that's the first step in our ending body burnout method. And we can do that with you before our doors open up again in. Let me look at my board probably around November, October, November sometime like that. Now we have this thing called spark in our ending body burnout method.
00:27:34:22 - 00:27:57:07
Chris
After you've had you connect the dots in your lab tests, we get you started into what we call spark. And spark is all about getting to the root cause. Connect the dots all about physically root cause what's happening in your body systems. Spark is all about what's happening. Why is healing hard if not impossible? And as I said before, we have reckoning is the very first step.
00:27:57:07 - 00:28:10:02
Chris
And in reckoning we have this, this, this part where we talk about brokenness and you're not broken. So.
00:28:10:04 - 00:28:46:11
Chris
Now you're aware of of something that we do in our reckoning phase after reckoning. We work people through and we get to this route root belief that that they have about themselves. And we finish reckoning with what we call a effective apology and a desired state affirmations. And at the end of that, we're able to take you into what we call a nervous system regulation, or a 21 day nervous system rewire, where we take those those beliefs that you became aware of and we rewire them.
00:28:46:11 - 00:29:12:01
Chris
We change the program like the wonky box factory. We go back and we have a look at the past in your life where you installed these programs. And we say, all right. Why did you need to install those programs? Where did they where did that need actually come from? What were you trying to achieve here? What were you trying to get out of life, or in what way were you just trying to get by?
00:29:12:02 - 00:29:33:13
Chris
By installing that behaviour or belief? And and then once we go through that reckoning phase with you, we can rewire things and you will be in a more regulated state. And then after your reckoning and regulation, then you can live your life on purpose.
00:29:33:15 - 00:30:00:00
Chris
Okay. Now what? Well, we're big fans of this one thing. It's a it's an acronym. I've given you a lot of concepts to think about today. So this you might need a little bit of ice cream with all my waffle. But but here we go. Here's here's how you can move forward okay. First we've got this thing called ehm A.I.M. awareness, intention and mindfulness.
00:30:00:01 - 00:30:11:10
Chris
This is how you. This is how you hit the target. This is how you achieve new things in your life every.
00:30:11:12 - 00:30:34:00
Chris
I mean, it's not impossible to hit a target if you don't aim, but you're more likely to hit the target if you do aim. So if you want to hit the target of change in your life, well aim. Awareness. Intention. Mindfulness. First step awareness. What did you get today? What did you get out of today? What insights have you got?
00:30:34:01 - 00:30:57:00
Chris
What inspirations did you did you get? It might be from me. It might be. My words might have inspired you. You might have an idea of your own. You might like something or you might not like something. If I have said something that you disagree with, this is this is also something. If you disagree with me, if you see something that's a little bit different.
00:30:57:01 - 00:31:15:12
Chris
I think that's fantastic. Cool. What are you aware of? What what did you like or not like? What's come up for you? What are you aware of? And then you can either pause this right now and scribble something down. Welcome back.
00:31:15:14 - 00:31:37:21
Chris
What's your intention? You're aware of a bunch of stuff. So what's your game plan? What little steps do you want to put into place? What action do you want to take? What 1% marginal gain, etc.? I like I like the saying, okay, now you're aware of it, so what are you going to do about it?
00:31:37:23 - 00:32:02:13
Chris
And the last thing is, all right, well, while you're doing what you're doing, how do you want to be, what state do you want to be in while you're putting this stuff into practice, into your life? Who do you want to be? Your identity? What being state do you want to be in? Is there a affirmation that you think might feel nice for you right now?
00:32:02:18 - 00:32:27:11
Chris
Is there a mindset, a mindset shift, or an actual mindset, or a focus or a perception that you want to take with you, or you want to plug in while you're doing what you intend with this stuff that you're aware of today? You know, aim, awareness. What do you want to do about it? Intention. And then how do you want to be while you go about this stuff?
00:32:27:11 - 00:32:55:11
Chris
This is aim, and if you can aim, you're more likely to hit the target. You're more likely to to be intentionally applying what you've learnt today. Guys, this is a concept. You are not broken and I hope that you've enjoyed our conversation today. Reach out if you've got any more questions and in the show notes there'll be links.
00:32:55:11 - 00:33:26:16
Chris
But if you if you would like to reach out and continue the conversation, feel free to to do so. But hopefully I see your name pop up onto our anybody Burnout Method waitlist and book into the Connect the Dots experience with Philly. And we also have some other other stuff on our website. And you can go on there to to find any other free resources that we've got that might help you take good care.
00:33:26:17 - 00:33:33:12
Chris
Have the best day ever and I'll chat to you later.
00:33:33:14 - 00:33:43:11
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:33:43:16 - 00:34:02:04
Chris
You can also rate your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking out Ending Body Burnout Assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about our group or one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
