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Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending body Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
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Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
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Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
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Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
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Chris
Let's dive in.
00;00;56;16 - 00;01;25;01
Chris
Hey guys, and welcome to this episode of the Ending body Burnout show. If you haven't guessed, I'm driving. I want to talk to you a little bit about something today. But before I do that, why am I driving? Okay. Well, Phil said to me, Chris, you have to record a podcast. And I was like, okay. I said, I'm really busy and I can't, you know, do the thing because I'm doing the burn.
00;01;25;01 - 00;01;49;09
Chris
You. And I was like, okay, I can do this, I can do this. And I'm like, wait, hang on. I'm really busy too. And we're like, we have to get a podcast now. We have to do an episode. I'm like, all right, well, our whole entire business is based on not being perfectionists. And here we are with this fancy Bansi fancy little YouTube recording podcast studio.
00;01;49;11 - 00;02;13;21
Chris
And, And I'm like, all right, well, a perfect world. I'd sit down and I'd do it in there. But it's not a perfect world. And life is happening. I've got some balls in the air and I'm juggling and. And so I thought, you know, I, my voice is part. What a better time and what a better topic.
00;02;13;23 - 00;02;38;20
Chris
I don't know if that's the right way. It says, what better time, what better topic to talk about perfectionism and allowing yourself to be imperfect. Just to record something while I'm driving. So where am I driving to today? I'm driving to go get my hair done. So today is all about driving with Chris. I hope you like it.
00;02;38;21 - 00;03;09;01
Chris
I hope I haven't lost you. Thank you so much for listening. I really value your time. I've got something really important to say. And thank you so much for, for being here with me. So insert jingle. This is driving with Chris to get his hair cut. Yeah. Anybody? Burnout method. Anybody? Burnout show. Oh my gosh. We are probably going to lose all our listeners anyway.
00;03;09;03 - 00;03;33;16
Chris
Here we go. So perfectionism. Perfectionism is crippling, crippling the pattern. The pattern is real. It can hold us back. I was talking to one of our clients and she was telling me about her kitchen table. You know, you are. And, I, I love this example because it's so real. And it was so real and important for you.
00;03;33;19 - 00;03;59;02
Chris
So, anyway, she had a, kitchen table, dining table at this table in her house. I was just covered with stuff, and she would go past it every day, and she would look at it, and it would just be, so overwhelming. The amount of organising, the amount of putting away, the amount of throwing away, the amount of effort mentally to clear the table.
00;03;59;04 - 00;04;26;03
Chris
The table was under there somewhere and she just couldn't get it done. It was, a bridge too far. It was a mountain too high. And this is really funny because this particular client of mine is an avid mountain climber, and she has climbed, almost every mountain in Tasmania. We have this thing called the Abels. This client of ours, she's climbed all of the Abels.
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Chris
That is something that not a lot of people in the world can say they've done. Fact is that there's less than 30, 30 people, 30 people in the world have done what this client has done. She can do hard things. She can climb mountain, literally. She can climb mountains, but she can metaphorically climb mountains, too. So why was this kitchen table a mountain too high for her?
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Chris
Why was there that mountain of stuff on her table too much? And I will. And she was trying to be, perfect about it. When you boil it down to it. And so therefore, that mountain of perfection is way too hot. It is impossible. When we try and be perfect, the mountain is too hot. We can't get it done.
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Chris
So here I am thinking about the podcast topic of perfectionism. And I'm not getting it done. I'm like, oh my gosh, is this the pot calling the kettle black or what? So I decided to put my money where my mouth is. Practice what I preach. You know, all those things, all those T-shirt slogans and just press record while I'm driving to go get my haircut.
00;05;51;24 - 00;06;19;24
Chris
I've got my cruise control on. I'm driving from where I live into town, and, I'm sitting in traffic and I'm just thinking, you know what? Let me just riff about this. Here's a thing. Let me talk about juggling. A lot of times we feel like we're juggling in life and we feel like we. We're just there. We got so many balls in the air.
00;06;19;27 - 00;06;41;13
Chris
I just dropping them left, right, centre. I've got an inside of our juggling. I can juggle three bolts. I can keep three balls in the air. It took a little bit of practice. My Uncle Russell, if you're listening, Uncle Russell, you taught me how to juggle when I was about maybe 12. And I remember this. I remember ever since then how to juggle.
00;06;41;15 - 00;07;06;06
Chris
I had a friend and I and a colleague, Andy, and he is a professional juggler. He can juggle way more than three. He can do really cool things. He can juggle. I think he can juggle fire. I'm pretty sure, Eddie, you can juggle fire. He's really skilled. But not everyone's like Andy. Not everyone can can do the kind of things that Andy can do and juggle stuff.
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Chris
Knives, bowling pins, all this sort of stuff. I know I can't, but I can't juggle three bolts. Three hacky sacks. I can juggle three things. I can juggle two. Of course I can juggle one. He's at four. That's actually one ball to. Five. Impossible. I mean, I could invest some time and energy to the skill, but not right now.
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Chris
So let me be realistic. When I am going through life. If I have three balls to juggle or if I can do it, I'll drop one every now and then. But three is possible. Two I will rarely drop two, but I still have a chance of dropping one when I juggle one. I'm just throwing one ball up and down.
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Chris
I will, I mean, if I'm trying to throw it up and down, it's almost impossible for me to drop. So what I'm getting at is when you're going through life, if you are a perfectionist at heart or you feel like you got this, write this down. Juggling one, two, three things is performing well. You can do that. You can go on the stage of life and juggle one, two, three balls.
00;08;29;05 - 00;08;57;04
Chris
Go for 4 or 5. Impossible. So when you are burned out, which you probably are, because you're listening to this, when you have felt yourself be overwhelmed. When you are feeling yourself stretched thin. I bet you $1 million monopoly money that you are juggling more than three things, three things, three projects, three things in your life. And if I'm wrong, let me know.
00;08;57;07 - 00;09;22;05
Chris
But I bet you, I bet you I'm right. So what do we do? Well, number one, try and reduce the amount of projects that you're doing to 1 to 3. Now, if you've got a lot of things going on, we'll see if you can park something. Have a look at your list. This tip number one. Park something.
00;09;22;08 - 00;09;55;22
Chris
Just put it on the side. Stop juggling so much. Park something. Park as much as you possibly can. See what that whittles your list down to if you're still over over three. Try this. What is the most important project out of the the list that you've got going on? What's the most time critical. Now this time critical, one might not be fully aligned with your highest purpose, but you've committed.
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Chris
You've you've told other people that you do it. I mean, I'm thinking of something where I've I've promised somebody something, and it's just like, oh, man. Why did I promise that? Why did I why did I agree to this? And I've put I've put my foot in my mouth. So I've, I've picked up a ball and decided to juggle it when I, in hindsight, probably put a pocket that thing that other people are relying on me for.
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Chris
I've probably got to go through with that. So I call that urgent, but it's not important to me. It's not important. It might be to somebody else, but it's not to me. So that's a fire that I've got to put out. So I'm probably going to put that to the top of my list. That is a project priority.
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Chris
What is not relying on, you know, other people, you know what is not urgent? What is not a fire? So if that we with all your project was down a little bit, I'll bet you it does. I bet you only got a couple of things that, So I'm just turning over the highway here. What is, not a fire park?
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Chris
All the known fires. Yes, they're important to. Yes, they are. But if you've got some fires, guess what? If your house is on fire right now. You're not in the. You're not in a season of your life of, watering the garden. You're not in a season of your life of watching TV. You're not in a season of your life, of relaxing, of going a slate, of stretching.
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Chris
Of, retreats and yoga and, and reading your favourite book and cuddling up on the couch and having a hot cocoa. You know, in that season of your life, your flaming house is on fire. I'm talking about literally, if your house is literally on fire. Am I right? You you grab your kids, grab your dog and get out.
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Chris
Once they're safe. You grab the hose and you shoot water on the fire. Or maybe if it's a small fire, you put the fire out first. You know, you deal with the fire first. So in your life, if you're burned out, which you are, and if you don't, don't worry about this. If you're burned out, put out your fires.
00;12;38;29 - 00;12;44;26
Chris
Put out your fire. You have to put out your fire first.
00;12;44;29 - 00;13;07;09
Chris
Once your fires are put out, then you can focus on the other stuff. You can focus on not having fires in the first place, not saying yes to things that are important to you. I mean, that's important to other people, but they're not in your highest value list. You know, you can focus on that later. For now, put out the fires.
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Chris
Okay. Next. Well, let's just say you have put out the fires. Let's just say you're looking at your list and you just actually no real fires. I mean, if you're like my client with the kitchen table, that's, you know, it's not super critical. She wasn't going to die if the table stayed the way it is. I'm sure she'd be okay.
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Chris
I mean, the evidence is clear. She could probably go another day. She's gone a year with a messy table, a table, a mountain of stuff on the table so she could go another day. So we're not talking about something urgent here, but we are talking about something important. The messy table for her was important. It just wasn't urgent.
00;13;56;01 - 00;14;21;19
Chris
And when you're in a state of fight or flight, freeze. Decide for. And you, Really? Operating out of a threatened nervous system state. You're hard wired. You're wired for urgency. And so when there is no urgency, it's like, how do nothing if it's not going to kill me? I don't care. That's the way your nervous system is.
00;14;21;23 - 00;14;57;05
Chris
That's why the table stayed like that for so long. So the next step is I'm safe. You have to know that you're safe. You have to know in your nervous system that you're okay. So next tip is. Your next tip is to remind yourself, affirm that you're okay. Things are right. Once you've done that, you can get into the important things.
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Chris
And the next thing I'm going to tell you is about how to juggle the important. You have to get all that other stuff out of the way first. You have to deal with the urgent, put out the fires, and then you have to remind yourself that you're safe. Okay, here's the stuff. When you're left with a few important things.
00;15;23;12 - 00;15;50;24
Chris
What's the most important? Right. That to the list. Top of the list. Once you've got that whittle down, remember all we're after is getting your projects down to 1 to 3. Once you've got them, in order of most important, then focus on the most important. Now, how can you tell if something's important or not? Well, first you need to get clear on where you want your life to head.
00;15;51;00 - 00;16;37;24
Chris
Your life direction. If you're not clear on where you want to go, you will go anywhere. You will get distracted. You will get pulled off course. So get clear on where you want to go. Get clear on what you want. Once you are clear on what you want and where you want your life to head and your life direction, the trajectory you want to head in your life, then you can be clear of certain projects, milestones, activities that actually take you in that direction, and which projects, milestones, activities take you away from that little side quests in this period of your life.
00;16;37;26 - 00;17;03;27
Chris
Reduce the amount of side quests if you play role playing games. I love role playing games. There's a game called Skyrim and it's probably one of my favourite games I've ever played in my life. And there's so many little side quests that you can do. So many, so many little side quests. And they're great. They're important. They help you to build your character.
00;17;04;00 - 00;17;26;19
Chris
But right now, in this state of burnout that you're in right now, side quests, side quests either burn you out or make your healing hotter, if not impossible. So reduce the amount of Cyprus. Have a look at your projects that you've got on your plate, the things that you're juggling and say, all right, what a side quests here.
00;17;26;21 - 00;17;55;22
Chris
Next thing, once you've whittled that down and you're looking at your side quests and you remove those, if you still got over three, then then you go, all right, well out of these really important things, which looks the most fun. And I call this the ESE filter the first and that's E's spelled E, apostrophe s. The first thing is which is most enjoyable, which looks like the most fun.
00;17;55;24 - 00;18;20;26
Chris
And you filter out anything that doesn't look fun. And if you still got more than three, then you go, okay, which one looks like I've got the energy for. So if it's, enjoyable, if energy and, you know, one of those things just might require a little bit more energy than the rest. Put that aside for now. It's still important, don't get me wrong.
00;18;20;29 - 00;18;49;24
Chris
But for net, we're looking to whittle it down to 1 to 3 projects. Next thing so you've looked at which is, enjoyable, which is in which one you have the energy for, and then you look for this one, which is the easiest, which is, which is like a, low hanging fruit or or, you know, the most simple, so enjoyable energy.
00;18;49;26 - 00;19;15;23
Chris
Easy. And, you know, when you have a look at it, is that project that you're doing can that be whittled down into something essential that the, you know, can you take the what actually is worth the take? Does that make sense? You know, you might be able to take that project off by just getting it down a little bit.
00;19;15;25 - 00;19;44;01
Chris
The the the project of the mountain on the table. You know what is worth a tick? Does it all have to be put away or can you put it in piles? Is that worth a tick for today? What's worth the tick for today? Essential. And I bet you by following this advice, you can whittle your projects down to something that is 1 to 3.
00;19;44;03 - 00;20;14;16
Chris
And if you've still got stuff that you've still got more projects, then just close your eyes. Help close your eyes and point your finger at one of them and that is your sprint focus for the week week. The week you are in a season of your life of one week. Yeah, one week. To just focus on that one project.
00;20;14;18 - 00;20;35;17
Chris
There's going to be side quests. There's going to be, fires to put out. There's going to be all the balls that someone will throw at you. But that one project is your intentional focus and priority for the week. All right, guys, I'm at the, I'm at the hairdresser, actually, one minute late, so, sorry, Glenn, I'm coming in now.
00;20;35;19 - 00;20;54;21
Chris
Thank you so much for driving with me. This has been, driving with Chris or whatever I called it. Anybody? Brunel, show I the best day ever. And I will talk to you again next time. I.
00;20;54;23 - 00;21;04;28
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00;21;05;01 - 00;21;37;17
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
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Chris
For.
