00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending body Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
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Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
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Chris
Let's dive in.
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Filly
Hello! Welcome to the podcast today. If you're watching this on YouTube, you see that I'm actually sitting on the floor resting against a bed, in the sunshine. I'm aware away for a little Airbnb road trip with our family before our kids go back to school. We've also just closed doors to our ending body Burnout Method program a week ago.
00:01:19:18 - 00:01:45:04
Filly
So we always love to get away for a few days. Reset, recharge, relax, and also connect with our children. So this is why, I am squinting in the sun. The audio might not be as good as usual if you're just listening to the audio, but, hold on for a moment until we get to the main episode, because the audio will go back to our usual good quality audio.
00:01:45:06 - 00:02:07:23
Filly
So I just wanted to introduce what we're sharing today in our putty, where Chris and I did. It was quite a few years ago. I think it was back in 2022. A workshop inside our Ending body Burnout method program with our clients all about redefining your identity. So that you can heal. And I really wanted to share this one.
00:02:08:01 - 00:02:39:11
Filly
Almost like as a part two of the podcast we did back in September, all around chronic health labels and how you kind of unconsciously identify them with as the truth of who you are. And it can absolutely block your healing. So today, this workshop or this podcast episode is kind of like, yeah, part two, to help unpack further, the role that our identity has on our ability to heal and to be well and to thrive.
00:02:39:11 - 00:03:03:06
Filly
And we'll also, coach you or essentially we coached clients inside the workshop on how to start unravelling and changing that identity. So I really hope you find lots of gold nuggets in today's episode. And yeah, I'd love to hear what you think about it. Make sure you comment on the podcast episode. You can always comment on socials or send me a private DM.
00:03:03:06 - 00:03:08:08
Filly
I love to hear from our listeners. All right, let's dive in.
00:03:08:10 - 00:03:42:10
Chris
Underneath all behaviours, there's a bunch of beliefs. There's a bunch of things that you believe to be true about yourself. You can your nervous system gets wonky, gets a little bit dysregulated when you have dysfunctional beliefs, when you have systemic inflammation. We've we've we've talked about this one before. But tonight we're going to go even before right back before these, these things.
00:03:43:22 - 00:04:12:03
Chris
To your identity. We're going to try and tap into that tonight. And by getting clear on who you want to be and how you want to show up and what game you're playing in your life, are you going to find it a lot easier to regulate your nervous system? There's an NLP presupposition. It says you are not your behaviours, you're not your behaviours.
00:04:12:03 - 00:04:20:12
Chris
So let's let's rattle off a few, a hypochondriac, you know, you're not a hypochondriac. You're not a sick person.
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Filly
Broken.
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Chris
You're not.
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Filly
Broke. Damn addicted to, Yeah.
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Chris
You're not a martyr.
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Filly
You know, people. Please,
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Chris
You know the dragon mom or dragon dad, you're not, you're not a, What? What are some others?
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Filly
You can put some in the chat, too.
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Chris
Yeah. If you can think of. If you can think of some.
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Filly
Yeah, yeah. Like not even. Yeah.
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Chris
Not a depressed person. You're not an anxious person.
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Filly
Yeah.
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Chris
Yeah, that sort of thing. You're not a,
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Filly
A sensitive perso person.
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Chris
You're not an emotional eater. Right? These you're not a, what's a really negative one? You're not an ugly person. You're not a, what's some other insensitive ones? You're not a skinny person. You're not a fat person. You're not. You're not a, insert derogatory word. Whatever. What comes to your mind doesn't matter. You're not.
00:05:21:20 - 00:05:57:07
Chris
You're not a worthless person, right? These identities, these labels, you're not even. You are not your behaviours. You might do, that last one. Worthless. You might do worth less things compared to something that's worth more. But what is worth? What is value? It's different for everybody. You talk to a person who's got, spinach farm, and you try and sell them some spinach, and they're probably gonna look at you and be like, I don't need this.
00:05:57:07 - 00:06:18:19
Chris
I will, I will, I don't I'm not even going to take that off your hand for free. I know spinach I can need. But you go to somebody who doesn't have any spinach at all, and they're going to really value that spinach, especially if it's beautiful, fresh, organic Australian native spinach from Chris and Filly's garden.
00:06:18:21 - 00:06:50:00
Chris
What else you got? It's funny. Okay, so you are not your behaviours, but here's a lot. But the most important information about a person is their behaviour. I'll show you that one. You are not your behaviours. You're not your behaviours. But the most important information about a person is their behaviour. What?
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Filly
Anyone? Anyone take a guess as to what that means. It's like. Sounds very contradictory.
00:06:57:14 - 00:07:25:07
Chris
The the cool thing about this presupposition is that behaviour never lies. You are not your behaviours. You're not a particular type of person. We're just talking about identity. Tonight. And the most important information about your you as a person is your behaviour.
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Filly
I like what Nikki has said. What? Nikki say your behaviour often indicates where you are in your journey.
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Chris
Absolutely. Yeah. That's it.
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Filly
You have, like, a cliffie thing. Oh, man. Oh, that doesn't work.
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Chris
And I accidentally deleted it and I can't find how to install it again. I've wasted too many minutes trying to figure that one out.
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Filly
There you go. Amanda's giving you a virtual clap.
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Chris
Yay! All right, here's a little analogy. Phil, do you want to, do, talk about the the box factory?
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Filly
Yeah, I can I'm going to talk about these really specifically in terms, like a health symptom. Let's just pick something out. Anxiety. Cool. Actually, no, no, no, I'm going to do food, fruit, food issues because that's sort of like, okay. Because that'll make no sense. So some people okay, there's a there's a factory that makes boxes.
00:08:20:06 - 00:08:41:21
Filly
And suddenly all of a sudden this machine is spitting out boxes that have a missing side. And so the workers are like, oh my goodness, how are we going to fix this? So they start fixing this is a make believe story, by the way. They start trying to fix these boxes by adding another side to the box and they're like, okay, yeah that's fixed.
00:08:41:22 - 00:09:06:10
Filly
Cool. That's like pass that on. That's fix. Let's pass that on. And what's the issue there? Like where's the actual where's the actual dysfunctional. Where's it broken link happening. Is it the actual and outcome of the box. And you just need to fix the box? Is there something wrong with the machine?
00:09:06:12 - 00:09:25:03
Filly
Machine. So if you think about behaviours, this is like a bit of a random metaphor. But if you think about behaviours, a lot of people are trying to say food intolerances is a perfect example because a lot of people think, yeah, it's the food. It's the food that is causing the issues. I got to stop eating the food.
00:09:25:03 - 00:09:48:02
Filly
And that's kind of like trying to fix the box in the end outcome. But then if you think about health issues that pop up or different behaviours that lead to health issues, instead of trying to address where you are right now or the health issue or the behaviour, it's like, what about actually fixing what actually caused that thing to happen in the first place?
00:09:48:02 - 00:09:58:07
Filly
And that's kind of like fixing the machine, not the end outcome of the box. Because when you fix the machine, you're going to get perfect boxes.
00:09:58:09 - 00:10:46:07
Chris
Absolutely. All right. All resistance indicates a lack of rapport with self. All resistance indicates a lack of rapport with self. So when we talk about that, we mean, any sort of resistance, like sickness, like frustrations, annoyances, triggers, hatred, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, pain, discomfort. What are some others, bloating, cramping, some sort of got stuff it all.
00:10:46:09 - 00:11:13:03
Chris
All of that indicates a lack of rapport with self. All right, so how how is that, how is that showing a lack of rapport? Well, tonight we are tonight we're going to, talk about that. All right. So let's let's find some, let's get a little bit of, maybe we don't need to, do this one so much.
00:11:13:03 - 00:11:59:01
Chris
Now, we'll skip this. All right, let's talk about this. I den to t identity sits here. Underneath purpose. These are logical levels. These are levels that we consciously go through in our life. When we when we, when we live, how we think and how we perceive life. Right. So, identity is more about who you're being when you show up in the world, who you're being and, and the, the, the attributes or the archetypes or the, the standards that you have.
00:11:59:03 - 00:12:10:14
Chris
All right. So, so if you've got a purpose, if you've got a mission, if you've got a wanting. You're being a type of person.
00:12:10:16 - 00:12:35:18
Chris
When you want that thing. All right. So if you want something different to what you've got right now then you need to be a different person. If you want more of what you've got right now, then there's something in your identity, in your in your behaviour, set in your in who you actually are. That can be magnified. All right.
00:12:35:18 - 00:13:10:13
Chris
So so there's some things tonight that we're going to to dial into about your identity that's going to be more powerful if we focus on only your behaviour. Stop eating the cupcakes. Stop doing the thing. Stop being in pain, stop having Sibo, all that sort of stuff. Without changing who you are and what you do repeatedly and what you think about, it's you probably not going to make a long lasting change.
00:13:10:15 - 00:13:22:04
Chris
Long term change. I hope I've explained that. Okay, if you've got any questions, pop it into the into the chat box and let us know. Phil, do you want to talk about the healthy identity?
00:13:22:04 - 00:13:45:05
Filly
Yeah. And maybe that will kind of help to explain the, model that Chris just showed. Sorry. Okay. So a question like in the chat box, do you do you believe you can heal? Like, do you believe that you are healing? Do you believe that there's a reality where you're completely whole and healthy and it's okay if you feel like it?
00:13:45:07 - 00:14:00:14
Filly
It's not like just honest, you know, when there's judgement, you can't have self-awareness with judgement. So that's not a loaded question. Just like pop in the chat box, I believe. Or I'm like Sammy there or and
00:14:00:16 - 00:14:01:06
Chris
Like, yes.
00:14:01:06 - 00:14:01:22
Filly
No.
00:14:01:22 - 00:14:11:12
Chris
Heck yeah. But heck no. Yes man is yes. Cool.
00:14:11:14 - 00:14:12:08
Chris
Cool cool cool.
00:14:12:08 - 00:14:20:19
Filly
Nicky, I really feel like I'm hitting there. Awesome. So you can kind of see the end destination. Like that's a reality. You can see for yourself heading there.
00:14:20:19 - 00:14:50:13
Chris
I love the, the the language of of what you've just said there. Nicky. Like, I feel like I'm heading there. I'm heading there. As in, kind of like you're in a car and you're driving to the right destination. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Cool. So, that's that's an interesting, interesting language. And and if you think about that, what kind of person goes on a journey or heads in that direction?
00:14:50:13 - 00:15:03:06
Chris
What kind of person is travelling in that direction? What kind of person is travelling in the opposite direction to to that? That's cool. Jen? Kiko.
00:15:03:07 - 00:15:28:22
Filly
Yeah. Oh yes. So healthy identity. Okay. Yes. I wonder on foods that though. Oh my gosh. Yes. Okay, so here's the thing. Every cell is listening. Every cell is listening to your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviours, what you say out loud. And so so we want to talk about identity as the, the secret sauce to actually getting true healing.
00:15:29:00 - 00:15:53:14
Filly
Because now, I'm going to I'm not saying that anyone who said yes is wrong like this. Awesome. But so here's the thing. So you can believe that you can heal, but have you created an identity where like, wholeheartedly, you are like, I trust my body. I know that it is perfect and that it works perfectly and I am healthy right now.
00:15:53:14 - 00:16:14:00
Filly
I'm just healing. So there's there's kind of nuances around that. And sometimes people can, believe like believing is the first step, because if you don't even believe that you can heal, then it's going to be a really hard journey to try and heal. It doesn't mean that you can't stop believing. And you know, if that's you, that's where you're sitting at, that's totally fine.
00:16:14:17 - 00:16:33:18
Filly
Now I'll give you I'll give you a story about me. And when I was starting to heal myself. And I'll talk about food specifically because it's kind of like just an easy example to understand. So when I started healing my body, the first thing I did was just like, went Nazi or even, like eating healthy. I'm like sprouting things.
00:16:33:18 - 00:16:56:16
Filly
I even found a secret farmer that I could get raw milk from, like I was just like all over the healthy eating. Only on the weekdays. And then on the weekends I was like, yeah, I've done so well. I'm going to treat myself. So I go and eat all the things. And it was a bit dysfunctional too, because like, I would go out to social events and I'd actually hide the food and eat the food away from people.
00:16:56:16 - 00:17:14:22
Filly
So, you know, ding ding ding. That's kind of like a little behavioural pattern. That's a dysfunctional, that's saying, do you actually really think that you're healthy and that you are whole and that you can heal when you're coming to food with that energy? So anyway, I was if I knew what I knew now, I would have done things a lot differently.
00:17:14:22 - 00:17:35:07
Filly
But back then I was just like, oh, I see all these healthy people and like, you know, they've got health and they're eating healthy most of the time, but they're eating like burgers or ice cream or whatever. So I like, I can do that, I can do that and I can still be healthy. Yet the dysfunctional thing to me was that I had a lot of shame and guilt and I was like, literally hiding.
00:17:35:07 - 00:17:58:10
Filly
I was so embarrassed about what I was eating when I ate unhealthy. And so then I went through a different journey. I'm like, no, I'm going to stop doing that. And I just like when 100% eating healthy. But it was out of for lack. It was just like that energy again, like I didn't have a very good identity to base my healthy eating on and my ability to try and heal my body.
00:17:59:13 - 00:18:20:10
Filly
And yeah, journey. So then, like, I don't know, I was probably like three, 4 or 5 years ago came out of that space to like, okay, I know what my body likes. I choose foods that nourish and support my body. I don't eat perfectly, I eat sorbet sometimes, and I don't know what else is something that's maybe not like super healthy rice crackers.
00:18:20:10 - 00:18:45:11
Filly
That's not bad. But anyway, I got to a point where I just. I really enjoyed the food that I was eating. I had no what I thought was no kind of like, guilt or shame around what I was eating and my body was responding well to it. Okay. Now, more recently, what I realised was there were some still some behavioural habits and this is me being like 90% like symptom free.
00:18:45:11 - 00:19:12:12
Filly
So like feeling really good physically in my health. Yet there were some things that were still happening, and I think I've spoken to a few people about this that like heartburn was something that was still happening and it flared up with Covid and never really disappeared. And so, anyway, there was I've gone through a journey where I'm like, okay, I'm going to like, take out the fact that food is causing this.
00:19:12:14 - 00:19:40:03
Filly
You know, how you know how you like when you break up with someone? It's like, it's not it's not me now. It's not you, it's me. Well, I was doing the opposite with food. I'm like, it's not me, it's you. Food until I'm like, okay, let's dig into this. And so I, have been on like, really like a journey of establishing a new identity and one that is, we'll talk about rapport and self alignment and all that sort of stuff in a second.
00:19:40:05 - 00:19:58:21
Filly
But when I was able to do that, I was able to clearly see nuances around what I was eating. And even though I said I was healthy and whole, there were little thoughts, like little thoughts that will pop up, a little actions that I would do that actually showed that I wasn't trusting my body to digest food properly.
00:19:59:17 - 00:20:23:15
Filly
Like little things like, even kind of like still a bit of shame and guilt. So a good example the other day was we were eating a porters when we went to Canberra, like nasty kind of takeaway. And I bought it and it was like, I'm like, yep, no, that's what I feel like. It's not the best food, but you know, there's not a lot available in the airport.
00:20:24:10 - 00:20:27:14
Chris
We had the best choice that we possibly could like. It was, well.
00:20:27:15 - 00:20:28:21
Filly
I could have had grass.
00:20:28:23 - 00:20:32:06
Chris
Chips, chicken and chips, chicken and those.
00:20:32:08 - 00:20:32:20
Filly
Terrible.
00:20:32:22 - 00:20:37:13
Chris
Hydrogenated oils and probably.
00:20:37:15 - 00:21:01:04
Filly
Fat. Anyway, this whole chicken we found this quiet spot in the airport I started was about to open up my supporters, and who would walk past, but a couple that live just down the road from us. And in my head this is the first thing. This is even after doing a lot of work around this. But the first thought that I that popped up in my head was, oh crap, why did I have to walk past?
00:21:01:04 - 00:21:20:14
Filly
As I'm about to tuck into like, chicken and chips? They're. And I think I'm so unhealthy. And then I kind of like, disregarded the thought. They chatted and they kept talking about the dinner. Oh, enjoy your dinner. And in my head I'm like, shut up about the dinner. Stop talking about my dinner. Stop it, stop it. Just go, go, go.
00:21:20:16 - 00:21:47:11
Filly
And the craziest thing was that. So three days earlier being in Canberra, eating lots of food, still making good choices that like I was eating chips, I was eating sorbet. Like there were foods that usually would have caused issues. We were in a beautiful space of being at a retreat, basically on personal development. No heartburn issues at all the whole time when foods would have been causing so many gut issues.
00:21:47:13 - 00:22:13:00
Filly
But after the photos and after these little things that were popping up in my head, it was like heartburn, mega like for six hours until I apologise to myself. And, the heartburn disappeared. It was crazy. And so, so the point of that story is, and we're going to talk about all of this stuff that kind of like is intermingled in that story.
00:22:13:05 - 00:22:39:05
Filly
But when you can establish an identity for yourself that it allows healing and health and wholeness. And if you can stay in alignment with yourself and trust your body and be happy with who you are and not worry about what other people are saying or thinking about you, that was kind of my example. Like your body will respond to that.
00:22:39:06 - 00:22:48:21
Chris
Call, let's read some stuff. This, hopefully you guys can can read this. But it says, I realised.
00:22:48:21 - 00:22:54:10
Filly
Jim Carrey. Carrey, by the way, actor in case someone, anyone doesn't know.
00:22:54:10 - 00:23:21:09
Chris
Who Jim Carrey is, right? Anyway, I realised I could lose myself with the character in a character. Sorry, I could live in a character. It was a choice. Spelling error. Yeah. And and when I finished with that, it took a month to remember who I was. What do I believe? What am I, politics? What do I like and dislike it took me a while and I was depressed going back into my concerns and my politics.
00:23:21:11 - 00:23:45:21
Chris
But there was a shift that had already happened, and the shift was, wait a second, if I can put Jim Carrey aside for four months, who is Jim Carrey? Who the hell is that? I know, I know now he does not really exist. He's ideas. Jim Carrey was an idea my parents gave me. Irish, Scottish, French was an idea I was given.
00:23:45:23 - 00:24:10:09
Chris
Canadian was an idea that I was given. I had a hockey team and a religion and all of these things that cobbled together into this kind of Frankenstein monster, this representation. It's like an avatar. These are all the things I am. You know, you are not an actor or a lawyer. No one is a lawyer. There are lawyers, lawyers, practice, but no one is a lawyer.
00:24:10:11 - 00:24:44:18
Chris
There is no one. In fact, there. So long, long story short, your your identity is not fixed. It can. It's it's, it's impermanent. A word non-permanent. It's non-permanent. You can you can scrub it out. You can rub it out, you can tweak it. You can alter it. Your your identity, it shapes and moulds your your behaviours and your beliefs.
00:24:44:20 - 00:25:12:01
Chris
All right. So underneath all of that, sorry, on top of all of your, your beliefs and, your, your values is your identity. Let's do some chatting. Let's let's, let's catch up. Where are you guys at? How how are you going with with this concept on identity? How you picking out what we're putting down or you feel kind of lost?
00:25:12:01 - 00:25:15:02
Filly
And do you see how it links to ending body burn out?
00:25:15:03 - 00:25:17:20
Chris
Yeah. So. And be be.
00:25:17:21 - 00:25:20:23
Filly
I'll be honest. If it's just like clarity please.
00:25:20:23 - 00:25:34:02
Chris
Yeah. Because we think we think we've done an okay job of explaining for everybody. But, if we haven't, just please let us know.
00:25:34:03 - 00:26:08:15
Chris
So we're going to wait on like a why? Why for yes or an end for no or punching a question like if you get it then you get it. So if you pop that in all right. Places. Yes. Coco. Cool. Demis. Yep. Awesome. Groovy. All right, let's punch on. Congruence. What is congruence? So by definition congruence is let's go dictionary first.
00:26:08:15 - 00:26:39:12
Chris
So dictionary is agreement or harmony or compatibility okay. Stick with me here Carl Rogers a humanist psychologist. He said the the complete congruence is the compliance between ideal self and the actual self. But then I'm a I'm a bit of a etymology nut. I love, I love etymology. It's him. It's him online. I think it's called the website I always go to.
00:26:39:14 - 00:27:11:03
Chris
So anyway, you break congruence down and, con means together or, or with you can write in, in language, you can write con or you can write com or come here, come together. You know, those two prefixes mean the same thing. But then the last part of it grew it or grew up, or rather means fall or rush.
00:27:11:05 - 00:27:52:12
Chris
Here's something cool. So. If you think about it, Ruah in Hebrew. In Hebrew, ruah means, air. It means breath, right? It means spirit. And and if you if you're familiar with, like the Bible, for example, at the very beginning, God breathed into into Adam. And so the Hebrew word that's used in that is ruah. So literally congruent means as I live and breathe, as I live and breathe.
00:27:52:16 - 00:28:27:18
Chris
So if you, if you think about living congruent, Lee, you are living and breathing. You're alive, doing and thinking the things that that are in complete harmony to to your, your goals and who you actually want to be, your ideal self. You're living and breathing like you believe your ideal self should, right? That's what congruence means.
00:28:28:06 - 00:28:53:16
Chris
And, is that the same as being your authentic self? I reckon it's, it's it's yeah, they're you could probably break the words down and, and all that sort of stuff, which I do and I love doing that, but I reckon you're exactly right. Your authentic self doing, doing the things that just, in, authentically genuine, and there's a spirit inside of all of us.
00:28:53:16 - 00:29:02:03
Chris
There's, there's such regardless of your, your you might call this something different. So, so.
00:29:02:05 - 00:29:02:18
Filly
Energy.
00:29:02:19 - 00:29:06:02
Chris
Pure energy, warm and fuzzy.
00:29:06:02 - 00:29:07:10
Filly
Connected to the universe.
00:29:07:13 - 00:29:32:15
Chris
Yeah. It connected to a higher source or a higher higher power. Could. You might even call it your conscience or your intuition. You might you might have a different name for it. But, you know, I call it the spirit. And, and we, we believe that we've all got one. And, and it's just the thing that's not your, your skin and muscle and bones and all that sort of stuff.
00:29:32:15 - 00:29:35:11
Chris
It's that little bit inside of you that's not that.
00:29:35:13 - 00:29:53:16
Filly
It's the thing that makes you and like, give me a nod if you felt this, but it's the thing that it's just like, oh, I feel so good. It's like the goosebumps and the the you feel like the light and the love and, you know, it's usually shows up when you're feeling like, really happy or really at peace.
00:29:53:18 - 00:29:58:21
Filly
So it has anyone else felt that cold? Yes. No.
00:29:58:23 - 00:30:26:01
Chris
The other one is it's like your inner voice that that's, we just watched the recently. We just watched Pinocchio again and, it's like you, you little Jiminy Cricket, that thing that says you, your conscience. Pinocchio lost his conscience. He he misplaced it. And sometimes we don't listen to our inner voice. Sometimes we don't listen to our conscience as well.
00:30:26:01 - 00:30:28:18
Chris
We're kind of like Pinocchio.
00:30:28:19 - 00:30:47:19
Filly
Inner voice too, I would I think about the subconscious state sending you, like. And we've talked about that a lot in other workshops that the subconscious state sending you little messages up to your conscious mind. So it's kind of like, oh, that's a weird thing that's popping or like a weed memory or like, oh, why? Why do I keep thinking this thing over and over?
00:30:47:19 - 00:30:53:20
Filly
That's kind of like this, unlocking this inner voice.
00:30:53:21 - 00:31:03:15
Chris
See, when you were born, you're born with, full potential. That's really when you were born. You were born with full, pure, pure potential.
00:31:03:16 - 00:31:08:15
Filly
There was nothing wrong with you. You were a perfect little piece of meat and bones and spirit.
00:31:08:18 - 00:31:09:22
Chris
Yeah. You just. Do you.
00:31:09:22 - 00:31:10:21
Filly
Agree?
00:31:10:23 - 00:31:15:01
Chris
The world's the world's your oyster. You could do whatever you just like.
00:31:15:01 - 00:31:18:17
Filly
So cute and chubby. And even when you cried, everyone loves you.
00:31:18:19 - 00:31:41:10
Chris
You might. Yeah, you. That everyone's probably got an opinion on this, but, you might not have chosen how you came into the world, but. But ever since you've been able to make decisions, you've been made, you've been making decisions, as kind of like an avalanche rolling down the mountain. I've never seen an avalanche rolling down the mountain.
00:31:41:15 - 00:32:12:06
Chris
But on TV, I have. And on Looney Tunes, on cartoons I have. And, and, you know, it starts with something small, and it just kind of builds into this avalanche, usually like some sort of cartoon character rolling down the mountain with, like, snowballs attached to him. Anyway, you are born with pure potential, and and, I feel like sometimes, sometimes we we might lose track of where we want to go.
00:32:12:11 - 00:32:44:08
Chris
Sometimes we get completely on the right. On the right. Mindset in the right direction. We might know who we want to be and what we want to do. And then sometimes we we forget or we get lost. So what we want to do, we've talked about where you want to go, your desired state in the past couple of workshops and now so so basically, even if you've forgotten now, you remembered, now it's there.
00:32:44:10 - 00:32:54:14
Chris
And so let's get you living and breathing according to your true purest potential.
00:32:54:16 - 00:33:21:22
Filly
That and I know this sounds really abstract and vague, but I'll go back to the heartburn story. And so it's like my old my old Filly program. So the broken machine that was spitting out the box that had no side like the deepest thing was around, like I was weak and incapable. And then that drove, like, addictive doing and overachieving and, you know, even, like thinking that my body wasn't capable enough to to heal itself and to be whole on its own.
00:33:22:00 - 00:33:46:08
Filly
So when the hot. So then so then the heartburn happened and I'm just like, oh, okay, break and talk about that in a second. But I just like, there was it wasn't even just the heartburn. It was the this just yucky feeling like this incongruent feeling where I'm just like, I know that something's wrong and something's off, and I don't think it's just a physical heartburn irritating me.
00:33:46:10 - 00:34:05:00
Filly
And then it wasn't until I was able to listen into the inner voice and it's like, all right, well, really, it was self-awareness, which is the inner voice. It's like, okay, what happened there? Oh, yeah. Okay. So if I it wasn't just the the gross chips that I ate, it was literally the fact that I broke a promise to myself that I am awesome.
00:34:05:00 - 00:34:22:10
Filly
Like, I don't, I don't have to worry about what other people eat. If I occasionally eat chips. And like, I am a good practitioner and you know, I'm not perfect and all that sort of stuff. And so I broke a little agreement with myself. My inner voice told me that because it just kept coming back to this conversation that we had.
00:34:22:10 - 00:34:46:20
Filly
And so I just had to dissect it. And then and then the pure potential, like, I could feel that when I said sorry to myself and like, reminded myself that, yes, I am strong and capable and my body can do this and my body's great at digesting and it doesn't matter what I eat, you know, in terms of like what other people think about me and how I ate.
00:34:46:20 - 00:35:06:23
Filly
And then and then when you're in, when you have that congruence and maybe you might have felt this, sometimes it's just like you just feel alignment with yourself. You feel good about yourself, you feel peaceful, you feel light and love. Does this. Like, does anyone felt this or am I just like, weird?
00:35:07:10 - 00:35:09:00
Chris
Nikki's Nottingham.
00:35:09:02 - 00:35:28:20
Filly
Great. Okay, so that's what we're talking about, this feeling. And if you haven't felt it before. Oh my goodness. I'm so excited for you to experience this because you would just like, it would just light up your world and your body. Like, even as I'm talking, I'm feeling healing within my physical body. Like this is the this is the connection between body, mind and spirit.
00:35:28:20 - 00:35:37:07
Filly
When everything's connected and in alignment with each other, like your body can heal.
00:35:37:08 - 00:35:44:22
Chris
Yeah. Cool. Jay says the inner voice is getting louder recently. Awesome I love it.
00:35:45:00 - 00:36:04:10
Filly
And that's probably because you're listening to it are more aware like yeah it's the practice as well. It's like if you meet someone and you're like struggling to communicate with them. Well, I mean, you could give up or you could just work on communicating better and, like, that's exactly what it's like when you're communicating to yourself.
00:36:04:12 - 00:36:38:18
Chris
So rapport with self when you when you feeling like you're in rapport with yourself. This is what we mean by that. It's a close and harmonious relationship in which one is able to understand the communication of the body, mind and spirit. So when you when you really feel like you can understand what your body and your mind and your spirit is, is telling you, and maybe even an external source or God or, Holy Spirit or inspiration, whatever you want to call it, right?
00:36:38:18 - 00:37:08:13
Chris
That that extent external to you thing. That, that you feel or that you are aware of all of those things, you can be in rapport. And specifically, we want to talk about you like being in rapport with you. Okay. And, and so when you are just in harmony, if you and I were to sing and we're trying to, like, harmonise, because I'm such an awesome singer and she's terrible.
00:37:08:15 - 00:37:34:11
Chris
I'm just kidding. It's the opposite. I would I would be pitchy and all over the place, and, and everybody would, were listening. Would be like, Chris in Filly. Cannot say, but it's totally just me because I'm not in harmony with the duet. Amanda says, Chris is such an awesome singer. I love listening to Chris. I'm just, that's amazing.
00:37:34:11 - 00:37:41:03
Chris
When I found out recently, my body was freaking out and my mind didn't know why. It was truly a disconnection. I love it.
00:37:41:04 - 00:37:58:23
Filly
Yeah, and oh man, next, next week. Oh, we are going to go deep into like the pain and the signals that your body gives you. I'm so excited. But we need to do this one, which I also love. But we need to do this on so you can understand that because like what's what's the. Okay. So everyone's had like health South.
00:37:58:23 - 00:38:28:02
Filly
Yeah. Like in order for your body in order for you your like conscious mind to get some sort of like shake up. Looks like there's something going on and I'm not happy with something inside you, whether that's physical or emotional or mental, like what is the easiest? What is the thing that grabs your attention the most? And like maybe you actually have something like for me, it was the heartburn and the chest tightness.
00:38:30:17 - 00:38:35:19
Filly
For other people it might be other things like Chris gets a really sore hip.
00:38:36:10 - 00:39:02:12
Chris
And, and also, so on the good side, when I feel like I'm purely aligned, when I feel like I'm on the right track, I had goosebumps and I get a little warm fuzzies and I feel just like, you know, teary, but like, happy teary, motivated, teary, that sort of thing. And eyes kind of get, wet.
00:39:03:12 - 00:39:25:04
Chris
Yeah, I get all that sort of stuff when I, when I know I'm on the right track. And here's the thing. Sometimes, Jay, you said the inner voice is getting louder recently, right? Louder recently? Sometimes. And I like what you said there, because sometimes we just, Courage. Courage is the thing that we need.
00:39:25:04 - 00:39:37:12
Chris
We need courage to. To listen to that inner voice or courage to listen to that, that inspiration. Courage to actually do the thing that's in alignment that that is in the right direction.
00:39:37:14 - 00:40:04:06
Filly
Yeah. It's like the courage of following through as well. So just to continue on with my hot and story, the actual reason around the heartburn was the fact it was about what other people were thinking about me like that was that was the big thing. And especially like as a health practitioner, I felt like I needed to look a certain way and eat a certain way.
00:40:04:06 - 00:40:21:13
Filly
And even though, like in my life, I'm actually completely happy with how I eat and live my life, like, I actually think it's pretty awesome. I'm not perfect, but there is still these little voices that kept saying, oh, everyone's watching you. They're going to think badly of you today. And so one thing was around my skin as well.
00:40:21:13 - 00:40:45:03
Filly
So I was actually taking a, I was using a supplement. Now, guys I know that of are on supplements. And I'm not saying supplements are bad at all. They're part of the healing process. But I was using one for many, many years and I was just too scared to stop it. Like, literally, I was too scared to stop a supplement called Menstrie Care because I thought that, my skin kept really bad.
00:40:45:03 - 00:41:00:10
Filly
If I went off it. And then when I was trying to work out where this heartburn was coming from, because I did all the gut healing that I did five years ago, that fixed it all, and then it came back or seven years ago, and then it came back. And I'm like doing all the same treatments, physical treatments.
00:41:00:10 - 00:41:20:19
Filly
I'm like, this is not getting better. There's something else going on here. The moment I decided I'm going to take out this supplement, I'm going to trust my body that it can do what it's supposed to do. Then I'm going to have lovely hormones. If I happen to get pimples, I'm going to still love myself and think I'm flippin awesome.
00:41:20:21 - 00:41:39:12
Filly
And the moment I took the supplement out, it was like the heartburn stopped. It literally stopped. It's come back a few times when I've broken rapport with myself, when I've thought, oh, if someone's thinking badly of me or, you know, whatever that thing is, it's like heartburn comes back straight away. It's crazy.
00:41:39:14 - 00:41:53:04
Chris
So, let's go. This one. You'll never regret listening to yourself. So, Jamie and General Fraser says this one, you'll never regret it. So that's. That's all along the lines of.
00:41:53:05 - 00:42:14:13
Filly
Yeah, sorry. The reason why I was talking about the men's story is because I was literally scared. I know this sounds completely silly, but I was scared to stop this supplement because of what might have happened if, for example, skin flaring up, which it actually didn't even do, that got a couple of pimples or something. And I was scared.
00:42:14:15 - 00:42:37:10
Filly
I was so scared. And there have been many, many other times too, where I'm like, yeah, you know, things have come to my conscious mind. I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, that's out of an alignment. I need to reconnect and establish rapport with myself. I need to trust my body. And it took like it took courage. But the moment I did it, I never regretted listening to myself.
00:42:37:12 - 00:42:53:04
Filly
So I say, you may be. You might be at the point where you like. I don't even know what I'm listening to. So, like, you know, and that's okay. But when you get to the point where it's like you're getting signals loud and clear that something needs to change or you need to establish rapport with yourself, you need to trust yourself.
00:42:53:06 - 00:43:03:12
Filly
And it might seem scary, like it's your wisdom talking to yourself. So it's always going to end. It's always going to end good.
00:43:03:14 - 00:43:28:16
Chris
So David Hawkins has an awesome book called power Versus force. And in that book he he has a map of consciousness. It's kind of like a scale down the very bottom. I'm gonna power through this, kind of run out of time to dig into this. I'm going to have to do some other videos. Needless to say, shame, guilt and apathy.
00:43:28:16 - 00:43:31:22
Chris
I call it in the red zone. That's criticism. Can.
00:43:31:22 - 00:43:34:05
Filly
You zoom in a bit with what you're looking at?
00:43:34:07 - 00:43:43:19
Chris
Yeah. Okay, so so in the red zone, we've got apathy, guilt and shame.
00:43:43:21 - 00:44:02:08
Chris
And then you've got grace, fear, desire. Then you've got anger and pride. Above that, energetically speaking, is courage. Courage is kind of like the tipping point. It's the tipping point before personal growth. Just goes gangbusters, is just right before everything.
00:44:02:08 - 00:44:04:22
Filly
Just healing. Even like physical healing.
00:44:05:00 - 00:44:05:12
Chris
Yeah.
00:44:05:17 - 00:44:06:21
Filly
Not healing shame.
00:44:06:21 - 00:44:22:02
Chris
Yeah. Pop pop that into that bucket too. So when you are feeling shame or guilt or apathy, it's really heavy. Who said that about, Nikki out of alignment is heavy. In alignment is like.
00:44:22:02 - 00:44:22:14
Filly
Yeah, that's.
00:44:22:14 - 00:44:52:11
Chris
Cool. So when you're when you're feeling guilt and shame, apathy like those real dense feelings, you are heavy. You you feel heavy. You probably literally have heavy on you. As in weight, you probably have more weight. You probably have more emotional baggage as well. The same I still at. Okay. I didn't notice until you said it.
00:44:52:13 - 00:44:56:12
Filly
Now, now you can move to acceptance. Yes, in the blue range.
00:44:56:14 - 00:45:28:16
Chris
So anyway, the last thing I'll say about this is courage gets you. It's it's the thing that gets you moving towards your. Yeah. Who you want to be. Okay, so now let's choose your character. Has anyone seen, dungeons, applied dungeons and Dragons or watched, what's Stranger things? Anyone seen Stranger Things so straight? Cool.
00:45:28:18 - 00:45:54:16
Chris
Yes. So in Stranger Things, the boys love playing Dungeons Dragons. I love playing Dungeons and Dragons. I was a kid. Where you get to choose your own character. So when you're when you're a, when you get started, you choose your character. And you, you give your character attributes and a name, and, Oh, I can't remember what I was, but I used to be.
00:45:54:16 - 00:46:20:23
Chris
I used to make ridiculous characters, like, just stupid, stupid ones with my my, my magic skill would be jumping on heads like, that would be my thing, but it would cause damage anyway. The cool thing is, you could be really creative with your character who you want to be like. There's no rules. You can have special powers, you can have special habits.
00:46:21:00 - 00:46:41:23
Chris
You can literally choose who you want to be. Sometimes you might need to get a role model, like finding somebody that you look up to in and are inspired by could be silly. It could be me. It could be one of you guys. It could be somebody else, or it might not be one person. It might be many people.
00:46:42:11 - 00:47:09:05
Chris
You might be someone that you met or that, you know, it might be somebody that you've never met. It might be somebody that you've just invented. But having somebody that you can, aspire to be, like, not from, like a guilt or shame thing, but from an inspiring, courageous that they can do things or know how to do things that that maybe you don't.
00:47:09:07 - 00:47:36:22
Filly
Yeah. It's also so the reason why we're talking about characters is because we're talking about identity and redefining your identity so you can get more of what you want, which is more health and everything else that you want as well in your life. And so, so, so we like to use character because like going back to Jim Carrey every time you did a new video, new movie, new character, and then he kind of like forgot who he was and then he had to create his own, like, new Jim Carrey version.
00:47:36:22 - 00:47:55:04
Filly
So the character is kind of a good and even playful way of sometime, like, I don't know, maybe some people have been trying to create a new identity and try to be who you need or want to be in order to heal and get healthy, and maybe it hasn't been working very well at the moment. Maybe it has.
00:47:55:04 - 00:48:26:17
Filly
Like if it hasn't, it's working cool. Keep doing what you're doing. And maybe these can just be little like add ons. But if you kind of really struggling to shift who you are so that you can actually heal and be healthy, adopting a character is a great way to do it and like a role model too. So I'll give you before we jump into like we're going to do some chat box and some workshopping around this, but just for me, again, like I was just like really back in the day when I was physically healing, I was just like, I really was just physically healing.
00:48:26:17 - 00:48:45:18
Filly
And I didn't understand or even know the power of looking at body, mind and spirit. More recently, when I'm like, I don't really want to get on top of these heartburn. And just like other stuff in my life, I full on like characterised that I did it in a way that I found a few people, some people I knew.
00:48:45:20 - 00:49:13:04
Filly
So Chris has this amazing biceps. Okay, so my old character was very again like driven out of fear and force because I'm like, I'm, I'm weak. I've got to do more, do more, do more. So like, I had this really negative pattern of overdoing and working too hard and not being able to switch off, even when I was relaxing or having self-care or spending time with the family, I was very out of alignment because I just like, I couldn't relax.
00:49:13:04 - 00:49:31:21
Filly
And so one of my character, Charles, or role models was Chris, not to give him a big head. In fact, I didn't I didn't even tell him for a while because I'm like, because some of the things that really used to piss me off about Chris were things that I was missing that I actually kind of needed. So I didn't tell him that's like anything.
00:49:32:00 - 00:49:34:11
Chris
Really, isn't it? Like sometimes a.
00:49:34:11 - 00:49:54:22
Filly
Frustration with yourself, with someone else is usually a frustration with your own self. Actually, that's like 100% like always the case. So Chris, like, has this awesome tendency where he just likes to live in the moment and he like, he's whole like one of your highest values is to have comfort and pleasure and fun. And so I'm like, I need a little bit more of that.
00:49:54:22 - 00:50:21:18
Filly
And so anyway, I was just literally watching him how he did that, and I tried to model and copy it. So that was like one way. Another way was I found a few podcasts, like just people that I admired never met in my life, hadn't even worked with them. And I just, I like binged on their podcast, just like analysing what they said and how they're like, even like, especially around how they talk to themself and like the strategies they used in their life.
00:50:22:15 - 00:50:40:15
Filly
And then also got an awesome coach as well who really helped in like real time, both with strategies. But also I was kind of modelling how he worked on his like self-limiting beliefs and insecurities so that I could then play that in my life and it made sense.
00:50:40:17 - 00:50:50:07
Chris
All right, let's let's party. Let's do this. Let's, let's make some characters. So who do you want to be like?
00:50:50:09 - 00:50:51:00
Filly
Oh, and I didn't.
00:50:51:00 - 00:51:12:04
Chris
Have a do you have a oh hang on one second. Yeah, yeah. Do you, do you have a person that you want to be like is that, you know, if you're writing a script or a movie script for your future life and you are you are writing down yourself and explanation about yourself as the, the the main character, right?
00:51:12:06 - 00:51:53:05
Chris
The hero, the victor, the winner. What attributes would you have? What what would that character do? What do they believe? What are they? What do they value? Tell me, tell me, is there is there somebody that you want to model or be like, let's let's make a make a flurry in the chat box and just pop in lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of things about who you want to be and, and will write the things that you punch into the chat box onto the, onto the screen and fill if you've got something you wanted to say.
00:51:53:06 - 00:52:04:01
Filly
Oh, no, no, no. It was just like, it doesn't necessarily have to be a person. It could be attributes. And there are some things I don't want to model off create. So it wasn't like I want to be like, Chris, I want to be this portion of Chris.
00:52:04:01 - 00:52:06:15
Chris
She doesn't want to pay standing up.
00:52:06:17 - 00:52:07:04
Filly
Oh.
00:52:07:06 - 00:52:10:01
Chris
She doesn't want to do lots of things.
00:52:10:03 - 00:52:11:22
Filly
Mrs.. Love and compassion.
00:52:11:22 - 00:52:16:02
Chris
Love and compassion I love it. There we go.
00:52:16:04 - 00:52:27:11
Filly
Is that like an actual person, Nikki, or is that sort of. You want to be more loving and compassionate? You want to be more or is that. Yeah, I saw thought. Yeah.
00:52:27:17 - 00:52:34:21
Chris
So Mrs. Love and compassion while you're. Why are you popping that into the chat Nikki? Tell us tell us more love.
00:52:34:21 - 00:52:37:18
Filly
I'm going to call you Mrs. Love from now on because you are.
00:52:37:18 - 00:52:48:17
Chris
Here to tell us more about what Mrs. Love and Compassion looks like and what she does and how she lives her life. What some things you can write about.
00:52:48:22 - 00:52:56:14
Filly
And if there's like also if there's someone who it's like, oh yeah, like how they do that, that's kind of mean.
00:52:56:20 - 00:53:10:05
Chris
That's close.
00:53:10:07 - 00:53:28:15
Chris
So yeah, tell us. Who do you want to be? What do you want to what do you want your character to be like? Haircuts. Holly. Podcasts. I can never spell his name.
00:53:28:17 - 00:53:44:19
Filly
Q. Demi. That girl again. Is that, like a person that, like a podcast or something? That girl? Or you want to be that girl who's confident, capable, strong, creative, respected, accomplished, loved.
00:53:44:21 - 00:53:50:23
Chris
I love it, that's awesome. Joyful.
00:53:51:00 - 00:54:11:16
Filly
Someone. Yeah. Joyful. Them. And, someone that listens more than she talks. She is like that. Not pushy with people around. She's encouraging. She's patient, respecting that everyone is on a different journey. She gets curious instead of angry when things don't go her way. She's peaceful and her attitude helps to bring peace in the chaos of life and work.
00:54:12:01 - 00:54:15:23
Filly
Okay. Demi just just main character energy.
00:54:16:01 - 00:54:17:14
Chris
I love it.
00:54:17:16 - 00:54:27:04
Filly
Oh, I like that, Terry. I want to be myself when I was 30, 40 years old. Why not? Like, you know. Yeah, I'm very intimately. I'm sure.
00:54:27:08 - 00:54:51:11
Chris
I'm. What? What is he. What does he do that inspires you so much, Terry? Like what? What does 30 a 40 year old Terry live like? If you think about him and add that version of you, and you close your eyes and you just take a big, deep breath and just feel inspired, like, what comes to mind when you think of that, Terry?
00:54:51:13 - 00:55:04:09
Filly
And maybe also Terry? Like, was there anything kind of missing as well that you can kind of adopt or mould into the 35 year old Terry? Lisa.
00:55:04:11 - 00:55:05:10
Chris
Lisa said.
00:55:05:10 - 00:55:06:02
Filly
Courageous.
00:55:06:02 - 00:55:26:22
Chris
Courageous? Yes. To who? And so who do you know that maybe you could model that is courageous. Or if you don't know anybody that is courageous, where can you go looking for courageous people or courageous stuff?
00:55:27:00 - 00:55:48:07
Chris
Nikki, you've always wanted to be a wise sage. That's cool. I love it. And if you think about being a wise sage, that that person who who is wise and knowledgeable, where could you go looking for, wisdom and sage stuff?
00:55:48:14 - 00:56:02:11
Filly
Another thing for me, and this might just help you get kind of like your brainstorming as well, is I wanted to find someone who did something impossible that I wanted to achieve. And so I.
00:56:02:13 - 00:56:26:22
Filly
Yeah. And so I went searching like, I'm like. And I found this. You can look her up. She's pretty cool. She has a great podcast. Faith Ashton. Anyway, so she was super sick, like she was bedridden. Sick with, hypothyroidism. So graves disease and all sorts of Sibo and everything else to the point where she could no longer work and she was stuck in bed for like ten years, I think it was a five years.
00:56:27:00 - 00:56:49:17
Filly
And she healed herself with functional medicine. But the real magic sources, when she started doing like NLP or like mindset stuff that we had in a work. And I have so another little thing this is kind of like not connected to the, the hot fan, but it kind of is, is that I haven't eaten dairy for a very long time because it caused a lot of issues.
00:56:49:19 - 00:57:13:03
Filly
And I'm like, I want to be able to eat. And I'm talking about traces like tiniest minute amounts of milk solids I could like would still cause inflammation in my body. And I'm like, surely if my body was healthy and strong, I would be able to tolerate some amount of dairy, even like beautiful goat's cheese or sheep's milk, you know, that sort of stuff was still causing issues.
00:57:13:03 - 00:57:33:17
Filly
So I found I found her and she said every time I had dairy, cystic acne, lots of information. I'm like, yes, yes, that's what happened to me. Happens, happens or happened to me too. Anyway, sorry. She was someone that I just like modelled and she had this most vibrant. She's like, I am not sick. This is even when she was chronically sick.
00:57:33:17 - 00:57:55:23
Filly
I'm not sick, I am healthy, I'm whole. I'm just healing. And it was like she just had this nice, motivational belief in her body's ability to heal. And so that's someone that I adopted. And while we were in Canberra, sheep's cheese and goat's cheese and maybe even a bit of dairy and no issues, and I'm like, that is so cool.
00:57:56:01 - 00:58:25:13
Chris
That's awesome. And, so we've got Terri, you said yourself at 30 or 40 was fitter, healthier, more generally content. So good. How do you know now that you could look to for inspiration? Is this who can you remember? What what kind of stuff did did younger Terry do on a daily basis? What did he believe?
00:58:25:15 - 00:58:45:21
Chris
What we what were his values? Where have you ways you kind of diverged in and maybe got distracted or or gone down. So I kind or, you know, gone off track, Lisa, I love that you said your daughter was courageous.
00:58:45:21 - 00:58:46:16
Filly
That's so cool.
00:58:46:16 - 00:59:06:02
Chris
That's awesome. And, Jay, you said future Jay is kind, wise, fulfilled, inspiring people to become a better version of themselves. Brave in facing every fear. Selfless. Be of service to society. Building something great, strong to endure every struggle. I love you guys.
00:59:06:04 - 00:59:19:23
Filly
So good. Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:59:20:01 - 00:59:52:14
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about our group or one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
00:59:52:16 - 00:59:53:00
Chris
For.