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Speaker 1
Hello and welcome to the ending Body Burnout Show, where your hosts, Chris and Philly co-founders of multi award winning Functional Medicine Practice, serving busy people with energy mood and got issues.
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Speaker 2
Well, busyness, overworking, addictive doing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
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Speaker 1
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root, root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements, hoping something might stick.
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Speaker 2
So get ready to heal your body, get your spot back deeply, connect with yourself and step into the life of your dreams. Let's dive in.
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Speaker 1
Okay. Welcome, everybody, to the podcast. I've got the lovely Sienna on here with us today. I'm actually really excited, too, to have a chat and get to know Sienna a little bit more. She's been working with Philly for quite a while and actually we've never quite crossed paths yet, so it's going to be awesome getting to know you, Sienna, and finding out a little bit more about what's going on for you.
00;01;22;23 - 00;01;46;14
Speaker 1
See if we can help you. Just take some steps towards getting where you want to get to. That sounds a little bit broad at the moment, but we'll see if we can over the course of our time together today. Meeting that up, tidy the edges, cross the T's, dot the I's, get specific, some real well-formed outcome about it, and and we'll go go from there.
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Speaker 1
But, Sienna, thank you so much for coming on. Super excited to have you.
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Speaker 3
Thank you, Chris. Happy to be here.
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Speaker 1
Legend Hey so what we might start with is what got you what got you coming to see Philly in the first place? Like when was that and what, what got you coming in to see her? Mm.
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Speaker 3
Wow. I think that was about three years ago. Yeah. Now that I came across Philly, she was recommended to us from a friend. So it wasn't doctors at the time. I was going around and talking to a lot of different doctors about my Crohn's disease, so I've had that for three years now and I wasn't getting any results that I needed from doctors.
00;02;50;01 - 00;03;19;10
Speaker 3
Yeah, so I didn't really have much hope when I came to Philly and yeah, I was, I was very nervous when I got there and she actually, as well as just being there for me and listening to what pain and suffering was, she was holding a space for me to be able to feel safe being around her. And she loved by her in the room.
00;03;19;10 - 00;03;31;17
Speaker 3
And I was just like stunned, like I could feel her energy and why This is the fact I want to be with you with so good. So yeah.
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Speaker 1
Awesome.
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Speaker 3
And yeah, I was.
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Speaker 1
To tell me more like what? What did you guys work on and what was what was the process?
00;03;46;25 - 00;04;27;22
Speaker 3
Yeah. So I think in the beginning we were just focusing around that help. So I mean, I can't say any of the fancy words that she said, meaning like all the different parts in the body this small, small, medium size, every area which I was suffering right now, she had helped me with a beautiful medicine. And then from there, as I grew stronger, I was then focusing more like from my brain, like my head down.
00;04;27;25 - 00;04;46;27
Speaker 3
And she was just helping me with mental health and just feeling good and more positive for things in life. That was huge for me. Mm hmm. Yeah, a slow process, but definitely the best decision I've made working with her.
00;04;46;29 - 00;05;20;11
Speaker 1
Cool. That's that's awesome to hear. I'm I'm curious from from a symptomatic point of view, what do you think was the biggest symptoms that that were showing up for you for Crohn's because it's different for for a lot of different people, right. What was what was the main types for you?
00;05;20;14 - 00;06;13;05
Speaker 3
Yeah, I think the biggest pain for me is always extreme, like intense throbbing pains around my stomach. Mm. Like so that, that struggle for me to, to walk around to do daily things because of the pain. And then that pain brought feeling nauseous and dizzy and you know what else am I? I went through a lot of vomiting as well.
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Speaker 3
I think with my Crohn's disease, I had extreme pain. And usually when you feel to that point, you just need to be sick. But there's a lot of times that it's just that's not how it works for me. I would just have to sit through that pain for days and days and days and yeah, it was so bad when I started.
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Speaker 3
I took about four months off of school, which is the last month of my schooling years use grade ten.
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Speaker 1
Yeah, Yeah. And I can I can imagine that sort of those pains, those that, that nausea, dizziness, vomiting and even the pain of of missing out on school and and that sort of thing. What sort of impact did that have on, on your on your life and and things like what was at stake there. Why was it I hope this doesn't sound like why was that so bad?
00;07;23;08 - 00;07;39;01
Speaker 1
Do you know what? Do you know what I mean? I do because it sounds really it sounds like if I went through that those experiences, I would find it hard and I could rattle off a few reasons. So what were some of the the impacts that that would have?
00;07;39;03 - 00;08;19;15
Speaker 3
And I, I had so many impacts. The biggest one at that time I was 17 and it was that I've lost all of my friends because and it wasn't my my decision, but because they didn't understand my pain and what I was going through, they had no idea how to support me. So it was easy for them just to stop talking to me and and that was very, very painful for me because I didn't have friends and supporters.
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Speaker 3
It was just my family. Then at the time, even even if they felt like loving me that much on the day, you know? MM Well, so that was really hard. And I remember after taking four months off, I, I went back to school for the celebration of the time that I spent in high school, and I went with my old friend and it was just really, really hard being in that room with everybody.
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Speaker 3
I felt like my body. Nobody even asked if I was okay or, you know, what was happening. My mom had to haggle a little bit with the principal as to why I should even be there. Like not being in this stood is the worst. Um, and not being accepted. I've always struggled with that.
00;09;20;16 - 00;09;42;15
Speaker 1
You've always struggled with that. So in, in addition to this experience has, if you think about it, do you think there's been other times in your life where being accepted has shown up for you not being accepted? Like, is that a pattern of.
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Speaker 3
Yeah, I've definitely felt that way throughout my whole childhood. Um, that it's just been almost impossible for me to fit in with everybody. I've always felt like that. I've been different, like I'm unique and I have a lot of love and kindness to offer to the world. I've always known that which makes me light up, but it doesn't and it doesn't resonate with the other kids that never really connected as well with people my age.
00;10;20;15 - 00;11;01;07
Speaker 1
Yeah. How is that a problem for you? Like what? What makes that an issue? Because I, I reckon it sounds like it probably is for other people who would be listening, they might be nodding their heads going, Yeah, I feel that what if you could speak to that for a bit? Why is that a problem for you to fit in, to struggle.
00;11;01;09 - 00;11;56;27
Speaker 3
Just thinking back to that time and just remembering the amount of pain that I've felt and and the stress and sadness because, yeah, being pushed away from the grips of being told that, you know, you're not locked, you're not welcome around them. It was really hard because I, I just wanted to be able to be myself and give all I am to others and not change who I am just for somebody else, for their liking and for them to be able to be happy and, yeah, live a good life.
00;11;56;27 - 00;12;25;18
Speaker 3
I didn't want to do that. It was it was a problem for me to change. Like it's yeah, I just don't want to be like everybody else. And there are so many emotions coming up right now.
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Speaker 1
Mm I'm, I'm wondering if you could just sit with that for a bit and just feel those emotions and without suppressing and pushing them away or trying to cut them off to sit with that for a second to a anger. There you go. I wonder what will happen if you just relax those shoulders just a bit, Just fall into it.
00;14;00;16 - 00;14;30;18
Speaker 1
You're such a unique person, Sienna. I've got this beautiful love and kindness inside of you. It. It comes through Zoom right now and. And hitting me. I feel it. You probably got some things coming up right now.
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Speaker 3
I Yeah.
00;14;38;05 - 00;14;51;19
Speaker 1
What's going on? What's happening inside? Do you remembering or thinking?
00;14;51;21 - 00;15;38;14
Speaker 3
I think definitely what's hitting me the most right now is, um, how you have just broken you. Truth is that I am, um, loving. And so. And I. I have so much to do. Um, to others, which it definitely hits me. It's when I hear that from somebody else, just cry and cry because it's the relief that I can.
00;15;38;17 - 00;16;10;11
Speaker 3
I can be that person. I don't have to live up to other people's expectations and. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, and knowing that I can feel these things that I can be me and.
00;16;10;14 - 00;16;50;16
Speaker 1
You can, you can be that person, you don't have to live up to other people's expectations. You can be, you. I'm wondering what's stopping you and why aren't you being you. Why do you feel like you're not being you.
00;16;50;18 - 00;17;42;10
Speaker 3
I think this takes me back to my childhood and growing up with my parents, how they brought me up. I feel when I am myself and I do speak my truth and I give my love. It's not enough for them. And I say that almost confidently because they have said that to me. I feel like if I can't be myself around them, then I can't just love the way that I do around them.
00;17;42;10 - 00;18;02;12
Speaker 3
Then I'm not going to be accepted by anybody because my own parents don't accept me right? They've got deep.
00;18;02;14 - 00;18;05;11
Speaker 1
We just took a bomb dive off the edge of the jetty.
00;18;05;13 - 00;18;12;27
Speaker 3
Just like let's do it deliberately.
00;18;13;00 - 00;18;45;09
Speaker 1
As we splashed down into the jetty in the cold water hit our skin, we noticed that we are in a deep current and we're being taken somewhere washing up onto the shore of this island and we're like, Whoa oh, I'm in self doubt land. You said something that was really interesting. It was kind of like a rule, and it sounded like when you were a little girl, you started forming this rule.
00;18;45;11 - 00;19;15;06
Speaker 1
And then as you're not a little girl anymore, you're a big girl. You this rule is become rolls off your tongue without us gif of a bait, which means it's pretty well practised and probably means maybe you might have said this to yourself or thought about this. Maybe not consciously. You might not be staring in the mirror repeating this like I'm not good enough.
00;19;15;08 - 00;19;42;02
Speaker 1
Yeah. Look into your eyes. See that person? You know, you might not have done that. Maybe, But there's been a part of you that's been saying these this sort of language in the in the past, and it's just been kind of like an iceberg. There's like a lot of ice underneath the surface and there's that bit that sits on the top.
00;19;42;05 - 00;20;09;01
Speaker 1
You notice the crones, you notice the the throbbing in the stomach, you notice the vomiting, you notice the nausea, dizziness, you notice the the phone call of your mom to the prince of all to to haggle, to get you to even turn up to that celebration. Right. You notice you're conscious, you're aware of all these things that are kind of self affirming.
00;20;09;04 - 00;20;30;27
Speaker 1
It's like when you notice them happening. You are? Yes. See, I told you. There you go again. Exactly. Not this again. We just predicted this and we this is going to happen again. If it happened yesterday, it's going to happen today. And there it goes.
00;20;30;29 - 00;20;31;27
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;20;32;00 - 00;20;56;11
Speaker 1
And starts to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. See, I didn't write down the exact words that you say as I listen to the reply, it'll come to me. But you said something like, If I am not, accept it. See if you can say this in your words. If I am not accepted by my parents, it How? What? What did you say that?
00;20;56;11 - 00;20;58;03
Speaker 1
Can you remember that?
00;20;58;06 - 00;21;14;27
Speaker 3
It's How could I then accept myself. Mm. Yeah. If I'm not accepted by my own parents, how can I accept who I am?
00;21;14;29 - 00;21;56;22
Speaker 1
We call that our limiting belief. Yeah, that's like and that's a good one. I'll, I'll like to not take these things so seriously that they're, um, they have serious result, serious impact. Um, I'm a fan of Dad's jokes, and they're terrible. The the worse ones make you laugh the most. Um, what's a scary fast? What's that? What's the scariest thing in the forest?
00;21;56;24 - 00;22;04;13
Speaker 3
Uh huh. Well, I think for me, it was always the noise of the wind.
00;22;04;16 - 00;22;11;27
Speaker 1
Close. It's bamboo.
00;22;12;00 - 00;22;14;14
Speaker 3
Oh, I got to see.
00;22;14;14 - 00;22;44;20
Speaker 1
The worst ones are always the funniest. So. So sometimes I, I this is my style. And. And I've had this style in the same way that you're. You're such a kind and giving soul. I've grown up using humour and terrible puns and jokes as a way to lighten the mood and and to connect and, and that sort of stuff.
00;22;44;20 - 00;23;15;04
Speaker 1
The shadow side of that is I sometimes get in trouble. A lot of times got in trouble for my teachers and my wife. My kids. But but I think if I can apply that I have a purpose. If I'm not accepted by my parents, how can I accept myself and who I am? That's it's this limiting belief is that true?
00;23;15;06 - 00;23;30;20
Speaker 1
Do you believe that that's true? Like that statement, Is there some cracks in there? This a bad dad joke?
00;23;30;23 - 00;23;56;18
Speaker 3
I yeah, I want to say yes, but there's cracks in there that always voices within me that pulls me back and says, Well, no, because you've done this for yourself and you've shown that you can be this, you know, beautiful person and do these good things and still not need that acceptance. From that you've done that, you've got evidence of that.
00;23;56;25 - 00;23;58;20
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;23;58;22 - 00;24;03;19
Speaker 3
So why do you need to say yes? Yeah. That's what's happening within right now.
00;24;03;21 - 00;24;54;10
Speaker 1
Uh, if you think about the body, the body is full of intelligence, It's full of wisdom and knowledge and insight and inspiration. You're you and I are having this conversation with each other right now. We're using air coming out of our lungs and vibrations of our of our throat and, like, coordinated movements of our teeth and tongue and all this sort of stuff to create sounds that have meaning.
00;24;54;12 - 00;25;26;14
Speaker 1
So our conscious mind is communicating, but our unconscious mind is also sneaking in there through our language that we speak in the words and all that sort of stuff. But your body does exactly the same thing it communicates with. It doesn't use hot air and neck vibrations, tongue and teeth movements. It it does something different. It communicates with signs and symptoms and sensations and states.
00;25;26;16 - 00;26;16;17
Speaker 1
And you've got this vomiting, this ringing up of something that's inside of you. You've got this throbbing pain in your gut, and there's something that's bubbling in in you. There's this is throbbing deep within you. You've got this gut feeling, you've got this fear, this worry of not being good enough. And then that starts to come up just like your vomit did, and disoriented and worried and confused, just like your body was.
00;26;16;19 - 00;27;21;23
Speaker 1
And these are sometimes the say sometimes, but it's just to cover all my bases. But it's pretty much every time your body is speaking to you, it's saying something to you. When someone has a chronic issue like Crohn's, the label of Crohn's, and then you look at the symptoms underneath like nausea and throbbing stomach pain, vomiting, what do you think your body is trying to tell you about yourself?
00;27;21;26 - 00;28;04;24
Speaker 3
You know, I've never really even imagined it that way because like, it makes so much sense that my body is trying to speak something to me and tell me that I am worthy. I'm good enough. I'm love, you know, I can feel I don't need to be in pain. I can choose to run off at night. Wow. Yeah.
00;28;04;26 - 00;28;51;08
Speaker 3
It's something to think about it that all of these years, all this time. My body's just trying to speak to me because, yeah, every time that I'm feeling a lot of stress or something's happened in the family unit, I like my Crohn's gets aggravated and I go through it again. I go through the pain, vomiting, the feeling nauseous, or maybe, you know, I'll come down with the flu or something extra on top of Crohn's disease, which my body's really trying to say to me.
00;28;51;10 - 00;29;29;14
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's a miracle. It's a miracle. Your body, you, you, you. Our bodies are miraculous in, in how they're put together and and how they they speak to us. I'm constantly amazed and astounded. Sometimes I can say something to Philly or my daughters or my. My dog, for example. And. And we're in sync. It's like we're.
00;29;29;16 - 00;29;30;06
Speaker 3
Working.
00;29;30;08 - 00;29;58;00
Speaker 1
Everything's like communication. Great. Everything works well. I'll be like, Hey, girls, it's Sam. It's time to turn off that TV racket. Let's. Let's go. Let's go do something else. Let's. Let's get off that. Let's go outside of Stump on the Tramp. Let's go throw a ball. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And sometimes it's like, okay, Dad and I bounce out there and we have a good time all the time.
00;29;58;02 - 00;30;36;27
Speaker 1
It's like, Oh, I'm learning. And it's like, Oh, that's interesting. But and and then, you know, there's a conversation that has some emotion behind it. And I think that's what our bodies do. Sometimes it chucks a rock and it's, you know, it raises its voice, it lets us know, okay, this is what I'm trying to say. You're not listening.
00;30;36;29 - 00;30;59;03
Speaker 1
And this is we are worthy. I'm I'm worthy. I'm good enough. I am love. I can feel. I can choose. I can choose. I don't have to have pain. This is your opinion. We can put that aside. Things can be different.
00;30;59;05 - 00;31;08;15
Speaker 3
People have.
00;31;08;17 - 00;31;35;04
Speaker 1
Why? Why do you think your Crohn's gets bad or you feel pain and nausea every time there's a stressful situation?
00;31;35;06 - 00;32;00;18
Speaker 3
In the beginning I was definitely not as connected to my body as I am now. So I had thought that, you know, it's another flare ups coming up and I feel like crap, you know, why is this happening to me? What will I do wrong? You know, how could I make it better? Not always with the one question.
00;32;00;18 - 00;32;44;03
Speaker 3
Why me? Why me? Mm. And I feel even more pain after saying that out loud. Um, whereas now I feel a lot more connected to my body. That I know that when I do have a flare up, I'm feeling a lot of stress. Mm. That's the number one thing that I just link to. But if I go even deeper and I ask myself, okay, well what's stressful right now in my life, you know, is there something going on at home in my work environment and am I feeling a bit shaken or scared of something?
00;32;44;03 - 00;33;03;29
Speaker 3
Coming up, you know what? And checking out what's going on around me, it makes a lot more sense of why I just don't feel good in the body because of what's happening around me and the way I connect and feel about it.
00;33;04;02 - 00;33;25;00
Speaker 1
MM That's super, super interesting. What is can, can I pose a philosophical question to you? Not that I haven't been already, Right.
00;33;25;03 - 00;33;26;03
Speaker 3
Yes.
00;33;26;05 - 00;34;03;25
Speaker 1
But what if stress is an opinion issue? What if, what if the things that you're stress most about are What if it boils down to your opinion, your because it's stress is largely internal and it's largely a perspective thing for, for example, I used to say I've said this a bit, but I used to hate the swimming in the ocean.
00;34;03;27 - 00;34;26;25
Speaker 1
I used to say those words, hate. I can't be bothered, you know, real low vibe words. And I got to a point, I'm going through this this experience of life right now, coaching people, and then I go to all of a sudden it's like I looked in the mirror and noticed the zit on my nose and I'm like, Whoa, that's a big one right there.
00;34;26;25 - 00;34;50;04
Speaker 1
That's pretty low vibe. Chris You hate it, do you? Is that true? Are you sure it's true? What does that mean about you? If true? And and then I thought, Why do I hate the ocean? And. And I started thinking about it. I'm like, all because I get itchy all the time. You get all the time. You get itchy all the time.
00;34;50;04 - 00;35;11;21
Speaker 1
Do you like all the time? You could dip your toe in there and you'd get itchy. Oh, well, no, not just my toe. I'd have to get all the way in. Okay, so it's not. It's not just your toes. If you dip your toe in, you're not going to get itchy. So, A, you hate something because you know your toe you can't even dip your toe in.
00;35;11;23 - 00;35;35;15
Speaker 1
And then cracks started to appear. I became a dad joke cameos laughable. I thought, man, why can Philly just absolutely just enjoy and thrive? And I look at my girls and they're just splashing around, just having a great time in the water. And here I am, sad sack with a book. You know, it's not arguably reading a book that's not negative, but why was I running away from something?
00;35;35;15 - 00;35;55;06
Speaker 1
And it was such a change. My mind jumped in the water. I started tracking over the last couple of years how many times I get itchy when I go in. The water has been less. I could count the number of times on my hand. Actually, I can't because I forget. But. But it's like there's there's hardly any time.
00;35;55;13 - 00;36;22;14
Speaker 1
And the times that I did notice, I was like, Oh, wow, I am actually itchy. My back is, Oh, you know what? There was so much seaweed this morning and there were bugs everywhere. I wonder if I actually just got bitten by a bug. And some time in the past, as a little boy growing up, I got bitten by a bug, got itchy and thought, you know what?
00;36;22;17 - 00;36;55;05
Speaker 1
It's the ocean's fault. It's a bad place. It's not safe. Danger, danger. Chris Blair, don't go in the ocean. Always makes you itchy. And when it does see self-fulfilling prophecy told you bad place. You'll see guys you'll get itchy to was an opinion issue changed my mindset changed my mind started to see things differently and now it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
00;36;55;07 - 00;37;50;26
Speaker 1
Every time this seaweed and bugs or let's just if the tones that I seems to be working for me now, but for you, every time there's a stressful situation, it's like an equation, stressful situation equals feel pain, nausea, Crohn's gets bad, throbbing stomach pain, struggle to do daily things. So what's the stress? So if we dig back, what what are those things that you're choosing to be stressed out about?
00;37;50;29 - 00;38;34;21
Speaker 3
I think what comes to mind instantly is that I was chosen my whole life to feel stressed and anxious of what the day brings, especially if I know I'm going to be around people. Oh, people that do things without like having any control over their their actions. You know, how scary? Oh, definitely. Yeah, definitely. It's always bugged me of not being in control of other people's actions and the way that they communicate and connect to me.
00;38;34;23 - 00;39;23;12
Speaker 3
And so if someone chooses to lash out on me or get angry or maybe they choose not to show up except when they've planned to hang out together or something like that, I've put that on me and I've then carried that extra weight on my shoulders. Well, you know, I just feel a lot of negative emotions of that because something I have to deal with, like the wording I use that I have to deal with this now because they're that way and I haven't been able to accept it.
00;39;23;14 - 00;39;25;25
Speaker 1
Is that word again?
00;39;25;27 - 00;39;32;08
Speaker 3
Yeah. Hmm.
00;39;32;11 - 00;40;08;17
Speaker 1
Oh, So. So if we had to you probably do a better job of this than I would, I reckon. What's the what's the link here. What's, what's your gut feeling about this stress. What, what do you, what do you think's boiling in there beneath the surface. What's the wisdom? What's the learning?
00;40;08;19 - 00;40;09;18
Speaker 3
Oh, learning.
00;40;09;20 - 00;40;37;07
Speaker 1
Yeah. Like, what's this is stressing you out. Struggling for acceptance. What's your gut say about that? What? What inside are you getting? Right? Yeah, Yeah.
00;40;37;10 - 00;41;00;09
Speaker 3
I'm struggling. I'm struggling for acceptance. I'm just wanting to be heard, to be seen. Mm.
00;41;00;11 - 00;41;04;19
Speaker 1
And that all just comes up. But like a vomit.
00;41;04;21 - 00;41;09;25
Speaker 3
You know? Yeah. Every time.
00;41;09;27 - 00;41;17;02
Speaker 1
Every time.
00;41;17;04 - 00;41;56;20
Speaker 3
Yeah. And the word it just keeps coming back up to me. It's not in control. It's. I feel so much rage and stress within me because I know I can't treat anything except the way I feel. The only thing I can control is my feelings, my emotions. Mm hmm. But, yes, I keep pushing that down. I don't. I don't allow myself to.
00;41;56;23 - 00;42;03;15
Speaker 3
Yeah. What is that? Oh, oh, oh.
00;42;03;17 - 00;42;06;27
Speaker 1
What is that?
00;42;06;29 - 00;42;08;14
Speaker 3
What am I doing?
00;42;08;16 - 00;42;10;06
Speaker 1
What am I doing.
00;42;10;09 - 00;42;13;23
Speaker 3
In.
00;42;13;25 - 00;42;35;26
Speaker 1
Crikey? Mm. What do you really want for yourself. What do you really want? What's at the heart of this?
00;42;35;29 - 00;43;18;01
Speaker 3
What I've really wanted is for you now, is to just give myself the love I deserve. Mm. And that looks to be in so many ways. I know, because I've. I've practised by experimenting different things. And, you know, when maybe I've just been in an argument with family or they've said those words that I'm not good enough. So I'll go back into my personal space and I'll sit down and do some mirror work and talk to myself and say, You know what, I actually am good enough and I'm going to tell you why.
00;43;18;03 - 00;43;50;06
Speaker 3
And I stand up for myself. And that just it really shakes me. It's like, wow, Like I'm capable of being this person. It's it's she's there. She's just waiting for you to tap into and connect with her daily. So do it. You know, don't lean back just because your parents don't think you can. You know what happens if you do everything in life based off what your parents think you can't do?
00;43;50;09 - 00;43;52;12
Speaker 1
Right?
00;43;52;15 - 00;44;07;00
Speaker 3
Right. Yeah, I won't. I be doing anything. I'll be like, man, fear based, right? I won't take any leaps. Mm mm.
00;44;07;03 - 00;44;15;11
Speaker 1
What if you were good enough? What's the standard that you could.
00;44;15;11 - 00;44;42;17
Speaker 3
No, but yes, I'm capable of anything. I can. Yeah, I'm capable of achieving anything. I want because I have that self-belief, self-worth. There's nothing weighing me down because. Yeah, I'm going to go for it. Mm.
00;44;42;19 - 00;45;09;01
Speaker 1
So to be the devil's advocate there, if I use that as a rule, I'm good enough because I'm capable, I'm achieving and I've got self-worth. So if you don't achieve, if you aren't capable, you don't have self-worth. Is that right? Is that what do you think right now?
00;45;09;01 - 00;45;10;02
Speaker 3
Yes.
00;45;10;04 - 00;45;48;22
Speaker 1
Interesting. Is that really true? Is there a part of you that thinks, yeah, that's a dead joke or is there a part of you? Is there no part of you that thinks that you're just like, no 100% Sky Sun's going to come up tomorrow. Like, I feel this. Put my hand up. I swear that unless I achieve. And unless I do, and unless I tick off things like not take off as and get angry or maybe unless I get things done, unless I do those.
00;45;48;24 - 00;46;09;04
Speaker 1
Unless I do do do do do do. I'm not worthy. I'm not enough. So help me am and right. Is that true?
00;46;09;07 - 00;46;11;09
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;46;11;12 - 00;46;23;28
Speaker 1
100%. Like really, really. Are you sure? Are you sure there's not a part of you that well? So all true? He sure.
00;46;24;00 - 00;46;26;28
Speaker 3
There probably is some just trying to push her away.
00;46;27;00 - 00;46;32;26
Speaker 1
Yeah, there she is. Just trying to push her away.
00;46;32;29 - 00;46;37;01
Speaker 3
Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing.
00;46;37;04 - 00;47;24;05
Speaker 1
I'm just like a her getting stuck inside of you, like constipation and causing so much bloating and distension and pushing out from inside of you. Kind of like a gut issue that just won't go away and starts to bubble and boil and create issues. It constipated you we get these these parts of us that that we hold in we don't let out just this crap that we don't want to let go of metaphorically and then then all of a sudden it turns into dizziness and nausea and we get confused and disoriented.
00;47;24;05 - 00;47;28;16
Speaker 1
I don't even know where I am. I don't know what I want anymore.
00;47;28;19 - 00;47;29;05
Speaker 3
But me.
00;47;29;11 - 00;47;41;07
Speaker 1
Yeah. My life is dizzy. My life is spinning around me and I've got no control. I'm just falling over. It's like everything I do. I can't take a step forward. Just makes me sick.
00;47;41;09 - 00;47;41;28
Speaker 3
Mm.
00;47;42;01 - 00;48;09;08
Speaker 1
And then all of a sudden, next minute, you blur, you just vomit it all out as a self. A show of love, a show of letting yourself out, freeing yourself, being a free spirit, sharing love with everybody that just comes out as vomit. You are yesterday's breakfast.
00;48;09;10 - 00;48;16;04
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.
00;48;16;07 - 00;48;22;23
Speaker 1
Dad's joke. It's just a joke, Ciara, isn't it?
00;48;22;25 - 00;48;28;28
Speaker 3
It is. It's. It's ridiculous that you're doing too much, so.
00;48;29;01 - 00;49;00;06
Speaker 1
Yeah. Now you got to know you got an opportunity right now. You got an opportunity just like that. Just pops up. You can either keep going, keep going, believing that the ocean is bad and that it always makes you is itchy and that anyone who doesn't believe you is going to find out one day, you know, or you can just tiptoe in and just start testing it.
00;49;00;06 - 00;49;17;24
Speaker 1
Testing the waters and and realise just get bored with counting because it just never actually happens anymore. What are you are you willing to dip your toe into a new way of thinking, a new way of being.
00;49;17;27 - 00;49;19;05
Speaker 3
100%?
00;49;19;07 - 00;49;37;05
Speaker 1
I like it. So, So that rule that you wrote for yourself keeps you safe. If I do, then I'll be enough. If I can achieve, then I'll be enough. That got you out of trouble. Probably, I reckon.
00;49;37;07 - 00;49;39;28
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah.
00;49;40;01 - 00;50;20;07
Speaker 1
And it sounds like you're finding opportunities to reaffirm this in your life. Your dad, your mom, your parents, friends, principal. If you do right, your mum had to haggle with the principal to let you come to the celebration because you hadn't done enough yet. So all these themes, these patterns of not doing equals not being enough.
00;50;20;09 - 00;50;27;22
Speaker 3
Yeah. So aligning up.
00;50;27;24 - 00;50;42;24
Speaker 1
I listeners you can't see, but Sienna is Sienna's face just look like you know that emoji where it's got like the brain is like.
00;50;42;26 - 00;50;45;13
Speaker 3
Oh it's just.
00;50;45;13 - 00;51;05;02
Speaker 1
A joke. It's just it's not real. Bamboo is not the scariest thing in the forest. What's what is the scariest thing as I don't know, like something.
00;51;05;02 - 00;51;06;14
Speaker 3
Scary. You're in a voice.
00;51;06;21 - 00;51;10;13
Speaker 1
Yeah, probably. Yeah. They go.
00;51;10;16 - 00;51;11;14
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;51;11;16 - 00;51;39;02
Speaker 1
So. Okay, so write it. Write a real role for me. Like what's what's a what's something that you can actually grow? Because it sounds like this is sound like a sound like those people, politicians arguing about policy and maybe even like Middle East or something, something controversial, you know, like there's no agreement that everyone disagrees as and ends up getting nowhere.
00;51;39;02 - 00;51;52;22
Speaker 1
So what's something that you can agree on that you're worth? Is your worth tied up to what you can do? Is that what you want to write on your rule book or you want to write something different?
00;51;52;24 - 00;52;00;17
Speaker 3
Definitely. No, I want to create a new belief.
00;52;00;20 - 00;52;12;29
Speaker 1
CO And imagine if you could, how would things be different if you did create a new belief?
00;52;13;01 - 00;52;54;02
Speaker 3
I created a new belief. I'd be showing up differently within myself every day. You know, I wouldn't be needing to live up to other people's expectations. I don't need to do as others tell me to or expect me to be someone that I'm not. That that weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't I don't need to impress. Mm.
00;52;54;05 - 00;53;10;26
Speaker 1
And remain. That could be hard to do that. But what part isn't hard? How can you make it doable?
00;53;10;28 - 00;53;32;26
Speaker 3
I think I like the analogy that you used of dipping your toes. That part is doable by taking little steps to this new belief. Yes.
00;53;32;28 - 00;54;17;00
Speaker 1
I like it. So what do you what do you really want? What can you see? How how how can this be? How can how can this new belief before like what are you really seeing? What do you really want?
00;54;17;03 - 00;55;06;17
Speaker 3
What I want is to create a life that I'm in love with. For me, everything that I've just talked about it, it comes into a place that of not even just not taking things so seriously like I do. You know, if someone wants to have a belief about me, that's their choice. I've changed that. So make a bit of light out of that and keep coming back myself and sit in front of that again and tell myself my worth because I am worthy.
00;55;06;19 - 00;55;41;11
Speaker 3
There's no doubt about that. The debt that I do have about that now, it's it's going to go very quickly as soon as I keep showing up for myself and telling myself no, I am, I am, I am. That's the part that's missing. Now, I'm not doing that. As soon as I do that and keep showing up for myself in the ways that I love, ways that make me happy and taking a step away from I feel like it's what I call a mess in the background.
00;55;41;12 - 00;55;55;16
Speaker 3
Everyone else's opinions and voices. It doesn't even matter because I'm giving me the love that I deserve. That's what matters.
00;55;55;18 - 00;56;06;27
Speaker 1
Yeah, sounds pretty cool.
00;56;06;29 - 00;56;11;02
Speaker 3
Does having anything possible when that happens?
00;56;11;04 - 00;56;15;13
Speaker 1
Yeah. Hundred percent.
00;56;15;16 - 00;56;16;18
Speaker 3
Hmm.
00;56;16;21 - 00;56;31;21
Speaker 1
So how does that feel to think and saying and and see that.
00;56;31;23 - 00;57;08;01
Speaker 3
I feel so powerful because I know that it's something I can do. I've done it and that's the best part. I've done it before. I have proof of that that I can actually do it. I can't just let other people step in and in my way, if it's something that I really want because I do know how worthy I am of feeling happy and loved and feeling peaceful.
00;57;08;01 - 00;57;29;26
Speaker 3
And the, you know, I can give that to myself. So that feeling that brings so much love within and like this, this whole time just saying and I just can't stop smiling. I just feel I feel happy with knowing this.
00;57;29;29 - 00;57;39;13
Speaker 1
Mm That's awesome. That's awesome.
00;57;39;15 - 00;57;42;04
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;57;42;06 - 00;58;22;17
Speaker 1
Okay. What if you want if you to just close your eyes and just imagine. Imagine this. Imagine you just keep showing up. Keep showing up. Sun comes up tomorrow. Sienna, you keep showing up. You feel so powerful. Imagine creating this life that you're in. You just love. You just love doing. Sometimes it's going to be hard. Sometimes it's going to be challenging.
00;58;22;19 - 00;58;56;26
Speaker 1
Sometimes the sun comes up. We can't see it. This storm clouds. She keeps showing up. Some days you're tired. Keep showing up. You be tired, some days you're happy, some days you're sad. Keep showing up. You do as little as you need to do because at the end of the day, it's not tied to your worth. You could do nothing and you still enough feel so powerful.
00;58;56;29 - 00;59;34;10
Speaker 1
You love and approve of yourself. These little steps that you can take to really believe this. You do that every day. You just just keep taking a little step. Sometimes you're not making any progress. Sometimes you are. Sometimes you spiral backwards and you're like, Well, I'm I'm back. But you notice it. You sit down for a little bit and notice what you're doing, and then you get back up and you keep moving forward.
00;59;34;10 - 01;00;11;16
Speaker 1
You keep showing up. And even if you didn't, you still enough. And even if someone says something to you that challenges your belief in yourself, you hear them and you can either say out loud or in your head that she's not to believe that that's your opinion. And I'm grateful you feel comfortable sharing your opinion with me. But I choose not to believe that I've got something else that makes me smile.
01;00;11;18 - 01;00;19;08
Speaker 1
It's powerful. I'm on my way to do that and show up for that.
01;00;19;10 - 01;00;23;08
Speaker 3
Which is scary and risky.
01;00;23;10 - 01;00;35;17
Speaker 1
But fun and liberating and exciting. Can you picture that Sienna.
01;00;35;20 - 01;00;40;23
Speaker 3
Yeah.
01;00;40;25 - 01;01;36;09
Speaker 1
Take a big deep breath. Big, deep breath and really just feel that in your body and on this next breath. Take a big deep breath in and think I love and approve of myself. Just think that as you breathe in and as you breathe out, breathe it down, out, Breathe in and think I'm doing the best I can and breathe out any sort of down and take a deep breath in and feel I am wonderful.
01;01;36;11 - 01;02;22;21
Speaker 1
Breathe out. Any down, breathe in. I am at peace and breathe that any doubt? Just sit with that for a moment. When you feel like you want to come back to now and open your eyes and hey.
01;02;22;24 - 01;02;30;25
Speaker 3
Hey, hey, hey.
01;02;30;28 - 01;02;35;07
Speaker 1
How's that? How do you feel?
01;02;35;09 - 01;02;44;15
Speaker 3
Well, how wanted to be able to breathe a lot lighter. And I think I feel a lot more alive.
01;02;44;18 - 01;03;19;23
Speaker 1
Awesome. That's happy. That's cool. Ha. So cool. Well, I am so grateful that you came on, and I'm grateful to be able to chat to you and. And get to know you a bit more before I. Before we wrap it up, I just kind of want to just check in. What do you think is going to be different for you after our conversation today?
01;03;19;23 - 01;03;30;22
Speaker 1
And how's things going to be different in your health and in your life?
01;03;30;24 - 01;04;03;08
Speaker 3
Things are going to be and look a lot different because. I'm going to prioritise myself every second of every day, even when it's really hard. And when I feel that hurt and that pain. I know even in the past, maybe even that, that's come up for me. I just want it to be easier for someone, my mom or dad, to love me and do the work for me.
01;04;03;11 - 01;04;17;11
Speaker 3
I know that's not how it's done. So yeah, I'm just going to sit with that grace with that, allow that to flow through my body and keep moving forward. Keep showing up.
01;04;17;14 - 01;04;23;17
Speaker 1
Like you have before. Hey. Yeah. You've done that before.
01;04;23;19 - 01;04;24;18
Speaker 3
Yes.
01;04;24;20 - 01;05;07;00
Speaker 1
Yeah, I like it. Cool. Well, that sounds. Sounds awesome. I'm. I'm inspired. I'm just in awe. It's great. I'm grateful that. That we can have this conversation. Just something popped into my mind. Now that you're a caring woman, you care, you love you. You want for other people to be okay. You have this, this, this yearning, this wanting to to nourish and and care for people, right?
01;05;07;02 - 01;05;07;19
Speaker 3
Yeah.
01;05;07;22 - 01;05;46;06
Speaker 1
This is beautiful. There's a double edged sword to that care. It's. You got it. Sometimes you care too much. There's a tipping point. It's like, Oh, I think I care too much about that stuff. I've let that. I've allowed that to be too good of care too much. So how can you just just make sure that that you can't use that care without caring too much.
01;05;46;09 - 01;06;12;19
Speaker 3
And almost overworking myself? Yeah. Mm mm. That's for sure. Something I've never even thought about before, because I know that's who I am and that's what I do. So this is huge to think about the next step.
01;06;12;21 - 01;06;30;07
Speaker 1
I love it. Cool. Well, take that with you. Have a wrap that wrap that up in a little bow and we'll hopefully we get another chance to catch up and chat and have another conversation. All right. That'd be really awesome.
01;06;30;10 - 01;06;34;26
Speaker 3
Yes, me too. Thank you so much for your time, Chris. I really appreciate it.
01;06;35;03 - 01;07;08;25
Speaker 1
My pleasure. All right. Well, thank you so much, everybody, for for joining us for our podcast today. We're very privileged to have Sienna on here with us. I look forward to joining you next time for our next episode. Other than that, take care and see you soon.
01;07;08;27 - 01;07;18;05
Speaker 2
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love. By sharing this episode, you.
01;07;18;05 - 01;07;36;01
Speaker 1
Can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause Contributors by taking out ending body burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about our group one on one ending body burnout programs should just DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
