00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
So get ready to heal your body, get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:10 - 00:00:56:04
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:56:06 - 00:01:25:15
Filly
Hello! Welcome to the podcast. Today we have the wonderful Doctor Amy Behimer, who is joining us for a super practical conversation on how we can break through old beliefs and patterns that keep us stuck and feeling overwhelmed and out of control, and how we can chunk healing and healthy habits while creating those healing and healthy habits into bite sized, achievable goals that we can actually implement.
00:01:25:17 - 00:02:01:12
Filly
Because knowledge isn't power. My friends, learning more and more and more is not going to heal you. Implementing and embodying will. So I know that you're going to get so many little bite sized gems in this episode that you can start implementing in your life today. So a bit about Doctor Amy Behimer. She is a pharmacist turned board certified health and wellness coach who helps people with autoimmune disease build a better health after diagnosis than before.
00:02:01:14 - 00:02:30:13
Filly
As the host of the Autoimmune Health Secrets podcast and founder of Club Habit Hub, she blends science and strategy to turn overwhelm into simple, sustainable habits that restore energy resilience and control. Amy's speciality isn't giving more information, it's teaching people how to actually follow through. Let's dive into today's podcast episode.
00:02:30:15 - 00:02:41:14
Chris
Hey guys, welcome to this episode of The Ending Body Burnout. Charlotte Finley and I have a guest from across the pond. We say in Australia, across the across the drink, across the ocean.
00:02:41:18 - 00:02:43:13
Filly
At the pond. I've never heard that before.
00:02:43:13 - 00:02:55:08
Chris
You've never heard that before? It's probably sporty. Anyway, so with us today, we have Amy behind. Thank you so much for joining us all the way over in Atlanta.
00:02:55:09 - 00:03:00:04
Dr Amy
Thank you so much for having me. Yes, we've already bonded over sports before we hit record. And so.
00:03:00:07 - 00:03:01:00
Chris
Amy, off.
00:03:01:00 - 00:03:01:15
Dr Amy
To a good start.
00:03:01:16 - 00:03:03:20
Filly
You and Christine, I don't know much about chilli.
00:03:03:20 - 00:03:05:03
Chris
Had no idea.
00:03:05:05 - 00:03:05:11
Dr Amy
I had.
00:03:05:11 - 00:03:08:11
Filly
No idea. Or any of the people you were talking about. Yeah.
00:03:08:12 - 00:03:13:06
Chris
I was very, very impressed. Very excited.
00:03:13:08 - 00:03:14:07
Filly
Thank you so much. That's what.
00:03:14:07 - 00:03:18:22
Dr Amy
Sports do. That's what sports do to connect you, for sure. Very.
00:03:19:00 - 00:03:48:11
Filly
Very community based. Thank you so much, Doctor Amy, for coming on to the podcast. We always, especially for those who are practitioners, therapists, coaches, you come on to our podcast. There is usually a background story as to why you do what you do. And you had you have a really interesting story in terms of your own, what we would call body burnout for autoimmune conditions, multiple sclerosis, plus more.
00:03:48:13 - 00:03:58:03
Filly
Can you tell us, can we go back in time and and look at what that look like for you, the health struggles you had, what was happening in your life around then?
00:03:58:05 - 00:04:25:05
Dr Amy
Absolutely. The first time I ever heard the word autoimmune, I was 17 and I was diagnosed with a skin condition that gave me white patches on my skin. And at that point, you know, it doesn't do to much damage that they know of. It's just, okay, you have this thing you keep on going. So I then started pharmacy school in my early 20s, and I started learning about what could go right in this body of ours.
00:04:25:05 - 00:04:54:14
Dr Amy
And I started learning a lot about what could go wrong. And again, this autoimmune word came up, and I'm hearing about how vast and varied they are and how they tend to cluster. If you get diagnosed with one, there could be another one coming. And I started to have this sense of, oh goodness, like what is coming for me in the future, but not a big enough, shake up at that point to really look at what you would call how I was burning out my body in various ways.
00:04:54:15 - 00:05:34:05
Dr Amy
The next diagnosis came around 25. It was a thyroid diagnosis called graves disease. And I still knew that there was something else coming. You know, that that sense that you get that there's something going on. And at 27, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, which is also called Ms.. And that was the scream that I needed from my body to really take a look at what role I had in it and really got curious as to what are the things I could be doing that could shift this and could change this and prevent yet another diagnosis and ultimately affect the prognosis of the ones I already had.
00:05:34:07 - 00:05:35:06
Dr Amy
00:05:35:08 - 00:05:48:22
Filly
When you say there were things like looking back in hindsight, there were things that you were doing that were burning your body out. What did that look like that were contributing to that autoimmune conditions.
00:05:49:00 - 00:06:09:07
Dr Amy
You know, it's things that you look back and it's not even that I necessarily want to make myself wrong for doing them. But, you know, when you're starting your career, you you go hard. You know, you, I very much was a perfectionist. I wasn't studying in school to get C's. I was studying to get hundreds, you know?
00:06:09:07 - 00:06:34:16
Dr Amy
So you look at the pressure you put on yourself. And that's very common in autoimmune disease with women as well, is, you know, this this drive in us, and we kind of carry the weight of what's going on. The other, you know, piece that in retrospect, was something I wish I had learned a little bit sooner was no matter how much I focussed on what I call the outer habits.
00:06:34:16 - 00:07:01:06
Dr Amy
So how I was eating, how I was moving, you know, the, the do do do for health. I was neglecting the rest. I was neglecting the inner habits of how am I thinking and feeling throughout the day as I do these things. And once I became hip to it, as we say, and once I became aware of those missing pieces, that's when I could take a deep breath.
00:07:01:06 - 00:07:31:11
Dr Amy
That's when I really started to feel the difference day to day. On what it's like to be able to create better health. You know, with a diagnosis that has labels like this, you know, disabling, chronic, neurodegenerative, progressive, these are big, scary words, but they're not the whole story. And so again, bringing in these different pieces to what helps us not burnout and what helps us really, rest and relax is huge.
00:07:31:13 - 00:07:34:09
Dr Amy
00:07:36:06 - 00:08:08:21
Filly
Yeah, I resonate with all of that. And we say that in our practice a lot as well, especially what you said with doing protocols. It's like someone could be doing all the things and have so much knowledge around what you need to do to heal and to be healthy and to support your body. But if it's coming from a place of what led to the burnout in the first place, like perfectionism, like you're trying to do the protocols perfectly, then it's just ringing massive alarm bells in the amygdala, the nervous system.
00:08:08:23 - 00:08:20:00
Filly
And did you notice that, like, did you notice that things weren't budging or things were improving, that you were kind of like relapsing when you were trying to do the things from that place?
00:08:20:02 - 00:08:43:10
Dr Amy
Absolutely. The way I you know what, it's hard for me to un think how I think about it now, but these six key areas of lifestyle that make up what I call the habit hub for autoimmune health, it's a hub for a reason because of the balance. And so what I would notice is, okay, I was getting my food, quote unquote perfect by not eating inflammatory oils.
00:08:43:10 - 00:09:03:23
Dr Amy
Let's say if that was the the thing that I was working on at the time, but then I'm missing connection because I'm not eating out at a restaurant with friends and laughing and enjoying it, or I'm getting up early to make sure I get my miles in or get the exercise that I want in. But then I'm robbing myself of the sleep that I may need.
00:09:04:05 - 00:09:30:15
Dr Amy
So it's, you know, it was kind of a hyper focus again on those things. And now I can see it that we need all those parts. We need the, the softer skills kind of in and the ones that, that feel more obvious, like the food and the exercise. It really we all go to the food, we exercise first because that's the most, it feels like the most controllable or the most tangible, and it feels like it can make the biggest difference.
00:09:30:15 - 00:09:52:05
Dr Amy
And it does make a huge difference. Those parts are huge, but exactly what you said, the thoughts and feelings that are driving it are going to change how our body perceives it and how it helps us, you know, heal and and function anyway. So the quicker we can recognise that and get the brain on board and the heart on board, the better off we're going to be.
00:09:52:07 - 00:10:00:04
Filly
We want to dive into the habits that you mentioned in a moment, but is it okay if I just go a little bit deeper with your healing journey?
00:10:00:05 - 00:10:02:16
Dr Amy
She goes deep as you want. Yeah. Okay.
00:10:02:16 - 00:10:15:22
Filly
Like as a practitioner, I'm sure you to got to the root cause and causes of the autoimmune conditions. What what did that look like for you? I guess like in terms of the deepest root cause and other root cause contributors.
00:10:16:00 - 00:10:35:12
Dr Amy
You know, I did a couple full workups because I went when I went back to school, I was like, I want to dive into functional medicine, right? And I went back to really learn it. And I was looking at, do I want to become a practitioner of functional medicine? And I'm like, oh no, I want to, I want to learn about the coaching.
00:10:35:12 - 00:10:53:22
Dr Amy
How do we actually take what everybody knows we should be doing? But why aren't we doing it? What's that gap between everybody having atomic habits on their shelf, but so few people actually getting to follow through on it? And so yeah, part of that for me was also as a patient going in and saying, what am I missing?
00:10:54:00 - 00:11:18:07
Dr Amy
And so many people, we feel like we're missing something. And I have to say, after many, many thousands and thousands of dollars and visits and tests and urine and I never we never really found a big smoking gun. We never found toxins, we never found infections. We never found something that seemed to point to where this was coming from.
00:11:18:09 - 00:11:46:09
Dr Amy
And so, yeah, and so some of that was almost again coming back to how I was thinking about it of, you know, maybe it's not one big thing, it's just a million little things. You know, it's not this, I don't have the gift of something to fix. Instead, I have an opportunity to see what are these tiny levers I can pull while getting really good at paying attention to what happens when I do pull them.
00:11:46:11 - 00:12:09:07
Dr Amy
And so I really have to say, at the root cause of mine was a single belief that my life would always be a little bit worse. I would always be a little bit more unhealthy if I didn't have this diagnosis. That belief was really crippling. It was really heavy, and it kind of kept me stuck. And in fear for quite a bit.
00:12:09:07 - 00:12:24:19
Dr Amy
And so it was the first time that it's one of the reasons I'm a coach and why I love coaching, and that a coach was able to, from the outside, look at my brain and say, you know, you're thinking this, but you'll create that. If you do think that. But it's possible your life doesn't have to be worse because of it.
00:12:24:19 - 00:12:51:13
Dr Amy
And so just that possibility of, you know, maybe my life doesn't need to be worse. That tapped me into a state of curiosity where then I started taking these different steps. Okay, what about this? What about that? And slowly that curiosity created more and more of this, multi-pronged approach of I'm not going to find a one answer that I get to fix.
00:12:51:13 - 00:13:07:04
Dr Amy
So instead I'm going to go looking for all these moments throughout my day, throughout my weeks, throughout my years, and how I can live, you know, a good life in the face of something that, you know, it's good to try to get in the way for sure.
00:13:07:06 - 00:13:22:02
Filly
I love all that. I mean it's a holistic approach as well, rather than saying it was all the mould or you know even even then if that was someone's story, I'm like this is going to be more than just mould going on. Like in terms.
00:13:22:02 - 00:13:24:03
Dr Amy
Of yeah, because what's the next mould?
00:13:24:05 - 00:13:36:10
Filly
Yeah. Exactly, exactly. And and again, like the work that we doing with clients that we work with it, it always comes back to a deep unconscious core belief that's driving the show. Yeah.
00:13:36:12 - 00:13:38:13
Dr Amy
Yeah it really does.
00:13:38:15 - 00:14:05:14
Filly
And for your story too like 17 was 17 years old is a very young impressionable age to get your first autoimmune diagnosis where although every, it wasn't like a scary one in terms of, well, you can still function, you've just got some white spots on your skin, but still, it's kind of like then you got into pharmacy and you're learning more about all this stuff and it's like, oh my gosh, this is what my life is going to be like.
00:14:05:16 - 00:14:10:10
Filly
Yeah, it's just going to keep accumulating more and more autoimmune conditions.
00:14:10:12 - 00:14:36:23
Dr Amy
Well, and fast forward to another core belief that was causing me, you know, more recently a lot of, angst and a lot of, I would say a decreased quality of life was this core belief that I need to keep up or that speed is important. And with a diagnosis like multiple sclerosis, you know, I am still able to get everywhere.
00:14:36:23 - 00:14:55:06
Dr Amy
I want to get. I am able to, you know, be in my life in the ways I want to be, but I'm a little bit slower sometimes I, I take a little bit of time. And so again, back to what are these beliefs that sometimes can really impact the rest? I'm like, I'm believing that I need to keep up and that faster is better.
00:14:55:06 - 00:15:21:05
Dr Amy
And so for a couple of years I've been really working on this deconditioning that speed is the point. And so it's really practising and coming back to how could slow not only be okay, but how could it be better than fast. And when you go looking for where that is possible, I am, you know, a year and a half into this, this work of finding it and I'm finding it everywhere.
00:15:21:05 - 00:15:31:20
Dr Amy
I'm finding that I'm enjoying this slowness and again, it's a slowness that I would not have found without maybe a reason to go finding it.
00:15:31:22 - 00:15:38:12
Filly
I had a mantra when I was unravelling and busy patterns. It's safe to be slow. Safe to be.
00:15:38:17 - 00:15:57:21
Dr Amy
Oh, I love that. I started with slow as fast. And then I have a friend who's in the military and their strategy. They are trained that slow is smooth and smooth as fast. I was like, oh, that's even better, but it's safe to be slow. I might borrow that one and add it to my mix.
00:15:57:23 - 00:16:15:03
Filly
Yeah, that one was powerful for me because when I looked underneath the the like go, go, go do all the things go 110%. It was coming from a place of fear. It was kind of like the world's going to come crashing down in some way, shape or form. If I don't get this done, I'm going to get.
00:16:15:03 - 00:16:16:23
Dr Amy
Or I'm going to get left behind.
00:16:16:23 - 00:16:28:07
Filly
Yeah, I'm going to get left behind. I'm going to get judged. People are going to finally see how flawed I am. So I have to go fast.
00:16:28:09 - 00:16:51:16
Dr Amy
Yeah, yeah. And it's really interesting. If you're ever doing like an exercise, you know, when you slow down, like a lunge or holding a pose or, you know, I'm always, you know, stretching this body that's so stiff, like going slower is actually so much harder, right? Because when you're going fast, you can cover up a lot of stuff in a lot of, form and things.
00:16:51:16 - 00:17:05:10
Dr Amy
And so finding all these ways that slow is safe from the skill that I love, it is so safe, especially for me, because when I'm going back, they're more likely to trip and fall. So we're talking about literal safety too. Yeah.
00:17:05:10 - 00:17:47:22
Filly
Literal safety. One of my somatic teachers in the past, we were doing a practice where like the intention was to slow down the movements even, like, like so micro slow. And she used the word there's power in the pause. And that really resonated with me. I'm like, yeah, there's power in the pause, because that's often where things start to consolidate thing, you know, essentially you can embody and integrate things in that pose as opposed to if you're going to do, do, do, do, or even if it's doing yoga or in a work or the things that, you know, we want to integrate at a more subconscious level.
00:17:48:00 - 00:17:56:11
Filly
Yeah. It's not going to the jigsaw pieces aren't going to come together unless it's out that pause in that breathing space. So I love that.
00:17:56:13 - 00:18:23:04
Dr Amy
Well, and I think that that's why I latched on and attached so hard to habits, because we've set a lot of like, really beautiful beliefs and mantras and things that have us going, oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. But I really wanted a way to step by step say, well, how do I actually get that to become my normal?
00:18:23:04 - 00:19:00:02
Dr Amy
How do I get to actually believe it and have it be the habitual thought? And so learning what we can learn from habit, signs of repetition and strategies to change it. What I started doing was applying those same things to our inner habits, which is those ways that we are thinking and feeling habitually. And so in the same way that getting repetitions for a bicep curl, you know, practising these, you know, slow as smooth and smooth as fast or it's okay to slow down practising it over and over and letting that become the neural default.
00:19:00:02 - 00:19:06:04
Dr Amy
The habit that the thought goes to you is powerful. If we give it the time and space, it needs to really stick.
00:19:06:06 - 00:19:36:19
Filly
Yeah. Okay. So you mentioned earlier, your love for coaching or helping people to implement habits. You know, they're saying knowledge is power. I actually don't agree, I think. So how is implementation an embodiment so someone could know or the things that struggle to really implement and change their habits. So what can we can we dig into that?
00:19:36:19 - 00:19:50:01
Filly
What do you see as a practitioner for people who are, sort of stuck on just researching, learning but struggling to implement? Is that something that you see in the healthy?
00:19:50:04 - 00:20:27:01
Dr Amy
Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, the number one emotion, I would say that people come to me with is feeling overwhelmed. And that has become so habitual. Right. Even though it's uncomfortable it's familiar. And so we think we just need more and more information. Or again there's, there's something I just haven't learned yet. And so a lot of it is getting the trust from somebody to believe me when I say let's tune out about 99% of the information coming in.
00:20:27:03 - 00:20:53:07
Dr Amy
Let's ask yourself, what comes first? What's the first habit? What's the first thing you want to work on? Trust. We will get to the rest. I love the statistics. I don't know in Australia if you guys are is big into New Year's resolutions, but every year it's like 70 plus percent of people want to eat better, 60 plus percent want to exercise more.
00:20:53:09 - 00:21:15:21
Dr Amy
And it's like 20% of people want to learn a new skill. And so back to the implementation. If we all decide for, you know, next year or next year starts this month, we all decide to learn the skill of how to change our habits and how to, you know, learn about ourselves and, you know, figure out how to do things that feel hard.
00:21:15:23 - 00:21:33:07
Dr Amy
Then we can apply that to any habits that we want to make in the future. And so, yes, the the closing, the gap of there's so much I could be doing to this is the one thing I'm going to do next. And then actually following through until that's done is just way more than half the battle.
00:21:33:09 - 00:21:57:10
Filly
Yeah, it is. It can be a really common trauma response for people to go down the rabbit hole of, like, I'm missing something, I need more, I need to know more. I need to know more. And then it also like I see this in practice, and then it prevents them from holding space for themselves to do the implementation because it's like, oh no, there's another thing over here.
00:21:57:12 - 00:22:24:22
Filly
Go to run over here, do the thing. Do it now. I say that way, the food as well. Like there's so much information and also contradictory information around what you should be eating if we talk about so autoimmune for example, I had a client yesterday that was like so I haven't eaten eggs. I can't remember how many years it was, maybe like 7 or 10 years, because I read that when I was doing this diet group.
00:22:24:23 - 00:22:45:16
Filly
Mention any names for you to call it? Yes, a to call. The number one thing you should not eat is eggs. And my question to her is like, how did you feel when you were eating eggs? She's like, I felt fine, but I haven't eaten it for ten years or whatever it is. Which is essentially to like lack of trust.
00:22:45:16 - 00:22:48:23
Filly
I think trust in self and trust in body.
00:22:49:01 - 00:23:22:15
Dr Amy
Yeah, absolutely. And also. Yeah. And you know, science is one piece of it. Like we can get some really good starting points from science. But if we don't add in the self, if we don't trust ourselves, like you said, is being an expert, then we are just always going to be chasing. And so, so many people come to me also, even if they are able to do somebody else's diet or protocol perfectly, they're not feeling or maybe not feeling well or getting the same results as someone else.
00:23:22:17 - 00:23:49:10
Dr Amy
So they're then carrying around this belief that they're doing something wrong. And that belief is heavy. And that belief will, keep us stuck time and time again. And, you know, we are taught when we're young about kind of going back to the implementation part. We're not taught that it's very natural for change to be hard. It's just our brains trying to protect us and keep us alive.
00:23:49:10 - 00:24:07:10
Dr Amy
And so really learning the skill of learning that it's not your fault. I mean, so many of us just need to, really embrace that, that it's not our fault if something feels hard. Getting support is not mean that you're doing anything wrong, but it it could just be a part of the process. Yeah.
00:24:07:12 - 00:24:28:02
Filly
So you mentioned the trust and just focus on the one habit. Can you give some examples of what that looks like in, in real life so that it and examples of how that helps to reduce the overwhelm as opposed to someone trying to force their way to create the thing.
00:24:28:04 - 00:24:50:14
Dr Amy
Yes. So I have a perfect example. Right now I'm running a, month long consistency challenge because, you know, I think a lot of people have this belief. I'm just not consistent. I hear those four little words. I'm just not consistent. And I think that's just not true. I mean, there are so many areas of everybody's life that we are consistent and so first giving us credit for what we are doing.
00:24:50:14 - 00:25:12:03
Dr Amy
But if you have to narrow down for an entire month and just one habit that you want to make, and sticking with it and learning how to make it in a way that feels really, really good. We are 11 days in and oh my gosh, the the joy and the satisfaction that people have from sticking with this thing.
00:25:12:05 - 00:25:36:23
Dr Amy
You know, it's a part of this momentum loop that then makes the next thing that much clearer and that much easier. And so a lot of it is just, again, the trust that it all starts with one thing. It all starts with learning how to set a goal, learning how to stick with it, learning how to follow through, and trusting that you will get to the rest of it.
00:25:37:01 - 00:25:59:23
Dr Amy
That we're not neglecting ourselves because we're not trying to do it all. And you know, a big piece of happiness is getting to feel satisfied. And so when we start with one thing, some of the examples of people in the challenge, you know, drinking a certain number of ounces of water seem so simple. It seems so basic. But common sense does not mean common action.
00:25:59:23 - 00:26:19:08
Dr Amy
Right? So actually sticking with that until you don't even have to have it as a goal because it comes up, becomes a part of who you are. Another person is trying to eat, you know, three different vegetables at each meal. Another person is trying to exercise every day, of course, determining what does that look like? Could it be five minutes one day?
00:26:19:08 - 00:26:44:22
Dr Amy
Could it be, you know, a 30 minute exercise, another day? There are all these different areas and likely if you ask yourself, where do you want to start? You know, where you want to start? I also created a quiz for this reason because there is some, you know, low hanging fruit. There is a likely a place in these areas of our habits that we are likely to get our biggest bang for our energy buck.
00:26:45:00 - 00:26:57:13
Dr Amy
And so it's seven questions in less than three minutes, and it lands you in one of these places to say, oh, this is the place I'm going to start. I'm going to learn this skill and again, allow some of the overwhelm to calm down.
00:26:57:15 - 00:27:05:14
Filly
Yeah. And that's the, the next thing I need to do to reduce inflammation. Quiz. Is that right? Have you given us a link for that?
00:27:05:19 - 00:27:34:04
Dr Amy
Yes. And. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's a, energy inflammation. You know, it all goes hand in hand, right. The, the next habit that is likely to again bolster that sense of, I can do this and start getting some traction and making some progress in one area because often, like we said, when we start implementing, things get a whole lot clearer, you know, things start to feel easier when we can actually start to see some progress behind us.
00:27:34:06 - 00:27:48:16
Filly
Yeah, I love that. I'll make sure the link is in the show notes for people to do that. Quiz. You mentioned as well, did you say there were 6 or 7 habits in your habit hub framework? Are you?
00:27:48:16 - 00:27:49:04
Dr Amy
Yes.
00:27:49:04 - 00:27:50:21
Filly
There's three. Those.
00:27:50:23 - 00:28:14:20
Dr Amy
Sure, sure. And the good news is none of these will be ones that you guys haven't talked about. I mean, these are the the ones that we know are good for human bodies. And it's six key areas. And so there may be a million different habits in these different areas. But it's nice like we talked about having something holistic to be able to file and keep track of all these different things and see how it all fits together.
00:28:14:23 - 00:28:39:19
Dr Amy
It can be such a benefit. So the first one is mindset. You know, this is the, what I call the inner habits. How are we thinking and feeling that is driving the rest and mindset is its own spoke of the habit hub, but it also is used in all the rest. So again, we've talked a lot about beliefs and it really can be such a powerful driver for, habit change in better health.
00:28:39:19 - 00:29:05:19
Dr Amy
So mindset one food is number two, movement is number three. Number four is rest and relaxation. You know, how do we look at burnout? How do we look at chronic stress. And instead of trying to get rid of stress, how do we add in more of those restful, habits that help crowd out the stress? Number five is connection or relationships.
00:29:05:21 - 00:29:17:02
Dr Amy
And then number six is the flip side. It's good stress, it's challenges. We take on because we know when we do, we are actually able to come out on the other side a little bit stronger.
00:29:17:04 - 00:29:21:10
Filly
Expanding the window of time tolerance.
00:29:21:12 - 00:29:25:02
Dr Amy
Yes. Yes I like that. Yeah.
00:29:25:04 - 00:29:39:10
Filly
And is that prescriptive like or is it sort of individual in terms of what that looks like for each person. Like that's part of the journey is becoming in tune with what you need in order to thrive at your best. And it's going to be.
00:29:39:10 - 00:29:40:02
Dr Amy
Absolute.
00:29:40:07 - 00:29:42:04
Filly
Person to person.
00:29:42:06 - 00:30:06:12
Dr Amy
So different. Yeah, we we, we often talk about how, you know, what's restful for you may not be restful for me. And so, you know, sometimes people are doing things because, oh, this is supposed to be restful. But again, if you're not feeling rested, you know, nobody told your body to to disarm and to actually relax. So I love a good TV show, you know, to to rest too.
00:30:06:12 - 00:30:33:20
Dr Amy
And I leave feeling rested. So some of them are a little bit intense. But, you know, I have some clients that they can't stand TV that, you know, they feel nervous afterwards. And so yeah, that's that part where following anybody else's protocol is, setting you up to potentially miss out on the one that you can create and find that really helps you, you know, feel rested, feel healthy.
00:30:33:20 - 00:30:59:20
Dr Amy
You know, everybody has a different emotion that they are going to like. I love to feel content. I don't know, some people love to feel happy, whatever that emotion is, or maybe a handful of them that you'd like to visit more throughout the day. Those can become habit goals. Those can be, actually what we set our sights on to, find the thinking or the actions that help get us there.
00:30:59:22 - 00:31:10:06
Filly
Yeah, I love that. I like a good TV show as well. I find that quite relaxing. After the kids go to bed like mummy.
00:31:10:08 - 00:31:14:01
Dr Amy
What? What are you watching right now?
00:31:14:03 - 00:31:19:07
Filly
Oh, I just finished, young Sherlock. That was I loved it. Oh, yeah.
00:31:19:12 - 00:31:22:04
Dr Amy
I bet I would like that. I haven't seen it, but I bet I would like it.
00:31:22:08 - 00:31:46:10
Filly
Yeah, it was so good. And as you were talking to again, like, this is I've had many conversations with people who who have thought that what the habit or their morning ritual should look like is the 5:00 pm club, which, you know, there's a book about it and some people thrive on it. There's also other people, especially chronotype, people who need a lot more sleep in the morning, who it burns them out.
00:31:46:10 - 00:32:05:10
Filly
And also depending on where your body systems are and how much capacity you have. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like all the information out there is useful, but I think the most useful thing is just becoming in tune with what do you need to thrive in this season?
00:32:05:12 - 00:32:33:23
Dr Amy
I like that, yeah. And similarly there's good data in it's been years of the snooze button causing something called, sleep inertia. Where at that nine minutes it potentially wakes you up and interrupts a cycle, and then you have a couple hours of grogginess. And so you see that everywhere where the snooze button is bad, right? Well, then just last year, they came out with the flip side of it where some people get really good sleep with the snooze button.
00:32:33:23 - 00:33:02:18
Dr Amy
And so again, we have to take the science with a grain of salt as a starting point to really begin our experimentation. Because, you know, we are so unique and even me today and you today versus us in a week or in a year, we're going to be different people. We're going to have different things happening. And so, again, having the skill to be able to tune in and adjust to that is going to be something that serves as the rest of our lives.
00:33:02:21 - 00:33:29:02
Filly
Yeah, 100%. We're not fixed. So people who, think in body burn out. So that would be you know, they've experienced a lot of chronic stress, very low capacity, often showing up as fatigue, low or anxious mood, inflammation. What are some key habits. And again, like this is always like we were just talking about well it's going to be really individual.
00:33:29:02 - 00:33:37:04
Filly
But do you see a theme of like some really key habits for people to start with if they are feeling very burnt out?
00:33:37:06 - 00:34:01:16
Dr Amy
I think, you know, one place to start is just the word burnout or just the word stress. That can be a big umbrella, right? That can be a big can feel like a big problem to solve, because burnout or stress can be happening in so many different areas of our life. And so even starting with, you know, a really good question of what areas when am I feeling burnout?
00:34:01:16 - 00:34:24:07
Dr Amy
When am I feeling stress and really trying to narrow in on maybe pillars of your life, you know, is it work? Is it family? Is it, your own personal state? Is it friendships? Is it something different? Because all of a sudden, if we have a tighter grip on the problem we're trying to solve, we're going to be better at coming up with solutions.
00:34:24:09 - 00:35:01:20
Dr Amy
And so sometimes starting there is good. I call it, you know, kind of doing an audit and getting specific, you know, our body when it says I'm stressed, stressed is a very, big emotion that takes a lot of energy to feel. And so maybe we're not feeling stressed, but we're feeling perturbed or annoyed, or when a mind that sometimes I'll label stress, but it's really just overcommitted when I recognise that, oh, I just jammed three things together, or I gave myself 15 minutes to get somewhere that takes 15 minutes with no traffic.
00:35:01:22 - 00:35:30:22
Dr Amy
Of course that's going to cause stress because I've over committed. But but seeing over committed all of a sudden that's kind of a little clearer as to a step I could do to get out of it. Right. Oh, give me some white space between places. And so instead of, instead of trying to boil the ocean, instead of trying to solve it all at once, getting more specific is one thing that can definitely help everybody start to see clearer, can take it one thing at a time.
00:35:31:00 - 00:35:55:23
Dr Amy
And then another, you know, helpful habit is similar to food. Sometimes, if we're trying to think of things we can't eat, it's tough. But what can we add in that helps crowd out the bad? Same thing with mindset. It's not, you know, just stop thinking that. It's like instead, oh what? What are some positive or more neutralising thoughts I can add in to help.
00:35:56:01 - 00:36:22:12
Dr Amy
And so similar with stress. What restful habits could I bake into my day, you know, as non-negotiables that can tend to counteract the stress that, would otherwise be in their place? And again, starting with one, you know, for me, all those years ago, it was waking up and moving my body and having just this protected space of the world hasn't made its way in yet.
00:36:22:14 - 00:36:44:10
Dr Amy
You know, I use it for, movement. I use it for, you know, again, slowing down with movement, being just present with myself. It tends to, you know, a lot of people, whatever you want to put in it. But in that protected space in the morning, letting it ebb and flow based on what you need can sometimes set the tone for the day.
00:36:44:12 - 00:36:51:02
Dr Amy
That gives us a little buffer for the cortisol inducing things that are going to come flying at us.
00:36:51:04 - 00:37:17:04
Filly
I love all that. When you were talking about stress and getting specific on why am I stressed? Or if I could call that a different word based on what's going on far out, that would have changed. That would have sped up my healing. If I think about my own healthy, past health issues, I remember my GP was kind of like, oh, you're a young mom and like, you're working.
00:37:17:04 - 00:37:39:13
Filly
And so it's pretty normal to feel like this, all your blood to find blah, blah, blah, blah live. And I didn't feel fine. But something that she said and other people said to me, including natural practitioners, was like, stop stressing so much, lower your stress. But it was almost like, I'm like, that's not helpful, because how do I do that?
00:37:39:15 - 00:37:53:05
Filly
Like, yeah. So I think that that's like, that's really profound. It's like I'm, I, my body is having a stress response if I'm using our example, but actually I'm just overcommitted and squished.
00:37:53:05 - 00:37:54:22
Dr Amy
Yeah. Shitty specific.
00:37:54:22 - 00:38:07:15
Filly
And so then it's like that is actually really tangible and I can do something with that. Yeah. I'm trying to work some things, like I used to have a lot of email feel.
00:38:07:17 - 00:38:09:14
Dr Amy
Oh yeah, a lot of people do.
00:38:09:16 - 00:38:13:03
Filly
My emails. A.
00:38:13:03 - 00:38:14:23
Dr Amy
Lot of people do. Yeah.
00:38:15:00 - 00:38:35:01
Filly
But it wasn't like if I. And so I would used to say like, oh, my emails are so stressful. I hate them. But if I look at the what the source of of it was, was I was just like really scared that I'd get an unkind email. So I don't know how I would, reframe that. I'll say that in one word.
00:38:35:04 - 00:38:47:21
Filly
It's not like it is judgement of others, but it's kind of like contention. Maybe it was contention. It's like contention is stressful. And then it's like, why is contention stressful? What can I do about that?
00:38:47:23 - 00:39:14:21
Dr Amy
Yeah. Or you know, maybe you're, perturbed or for some reason, that word just keeps coming to mind from what someone else is doing, a family member or a co-worker, you know, and that can cause a lot of stress. I mean, it's a very different problem to solve. Oh, do I need to have a conversation with this person, or do I really want to take even more control of it and look at how am I thinking about it?
00:39:14:23 - 00:39:39:09
Dr Amy
And same thing. I think I could go for emails. So if we sit down and we probably go to that habitual thought of, oh my gosh, somebody maybe in this inbox that is going to say something unkind and noticing that and saying, oh, you know what? Nobody can say anything that can hurt me in this inbox. You know, like, almost like this disarming reminder, like paired right, with the the opening of the inbox.
00:39:39:09 - 00:39:46:08
Filly
And also brings some rationality into it because I would say out of a thousand emails, there might be one.
00:39:46:10 - 00:39:50:20
Dr Amy
I guess you said, and you survived it. That's the coolest part of it.
00:39:50:22 - 00:40:14:18
Filly
Yeah. And then there is, you know, money stuff as well. It's like, oh, Bill, how much is this one going to be? So yeah, it was actually that, that were individual. I guess we could use the word like it something that was causing a disturbance or something that was a trigger. Yeah. I think that that's really useful getting to the, the you know what what is the stress actually about.
00:40:14:20 - 00:40:45:03
Dr Amy
And you're in again, your brain's going to want to keep it big and vague because it doesn't want to change. It doesn't want you to really look at a bill and problem solve around it. Right. And so it will just go up. It's all too much. It will bring everything in. Yeah. And so same thing with with our health with we feel like there's so much we could do that is a stressful feeling that is really stressful to feel like there's so much we could do or last time I tried to do it, I didn't do it.
00:40:45:05 - 00:41:14:09
Dr Amy
And so again, an antidote to that will be what's the one thing that I want to do that I want to start with and really allow yourself the juicy, nourishing benefits of setting an achievable goal and marching towards it and celebrating it. And you know, that action and then actually finding evidence of why that was a good thing, that you did it and then celebrating it, that's the momentum loop.
00:41:14:11 - 00:41:26:19
Dr Amy
You celebrate it, you get a little hit of dopamine and it makes you want to do it again. And then it can be just like something could be a vicious spiral down. It could be a really wonderful spiral upward as well. Yeah.
00:41:26:21 - 00:41:41:05
Filly
Yeah, I love that. Okay, so for those who are feeling stuck in their health journey, what's, that lovely wisdom to help them gain back some control?
00:41:41:07 - 00:42:13:21
Dr Amy
Well, the neat thing is, is that there's always something we can control. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but just an exercise. You could grab a pen and paper and force yourself to come up with if something feels out of control, right? Our body doesn't know when we get to tap into control. Right? Let's say I can control picking up this water bottle and drinking it, or I can control, who I call today to wish.
00:42:13:21 - 00:42:54:19
Dr Amy
Well, I can control what I make for dinner. I can control these various things. When we start to tap into that feeling of control our body, all it knows is that we are feeling in control. It doesn't know that. It's just these tiny things. Like, I'm controlling how I smile at you or these various things. And so it's when we feel out of control, potentially working around it and letting ourselves get the nourishing, chemical fingerprint of control that just happening in our body with all these, you know, neurotransmitters, but using the things we can control to get there.
00:42:54:21 - 00:43:29:07
Dr Amy
And again, it gets our body familiar. Oh, wait, I do have some control. And and of course, the part of our brain is going to want to say, yeah, but you can't control this big disease and you can't control this bill coming. But there are things we can control and just reminding ourselves that it's there. And if it's hard to come up with 3 or 4 things you can control, try to come up with 20 because, you know, you really, can stretch your brain and shift into emotions that we can draw up again with, getting creative with how we get there.
00:43:29:09 - 00:43:29:18
Dr Amy
00:43:29:18 - 00:43:57:10
Filly
I love that. That's kind of I mean very similar to I'm sure listeners would have heard about gratitude journaling where it's like, you know what. Like find three things, three things every day. The point of that is it induces those lovely serotonin, oxytocin chemicals where it's like, oh, like my life is good. And I've actually never thought about doing that with my crazy things in terms of what you can control.
00:43:57:10 - 00:44:07:03
Filly
And it still produces the same chemicals and hormones, even if it's literally like, I can pick up my drink bottle, I can control that.
00:44:07:05 - 00:44:33:07
Dr Amy
I can control that. And sometimes, you know, goes with this information overwhelm. Sometimes when things get too mainstream or they get too talked about, like, I feel like everybody's talking about gratitude, right? That sometimes people tune it out, it becomes you become numb to it. Like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about gratitude, but how many of us are really doing it back to knowing versus doing?
00:44:33:07 - 00:44:56:14
Dr Amy
Yes. So, you know, if we are writing something off and saying it didn't work, we have to ask ourselves, did we work it? I mean, did we really work it? Because you're right. Like the research on gratitude is so ironclad. It is so clear that it can't do it. But we have to do it. We can't just say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, you know, we actually need to do it.
00:44:56:16 - 00:45:18:12
Filly
Be it and feel it. And I think that's why people gravitate to doing complex protocols in terms of it's just like, yep, need need to know more, need to know more. Because the simple things that it is, the simple things that can heal us. It doesn't mean that they're easy, but there are also ways that you can move towards doing and being it.
00:45:18:12 - 00:45:42:17
Filly
So it is easier, but it's the simple things that it's like, oh, I already know that. And sometimes I think two part of that is like people aren't getting the dopamine hit because they already know it. And it's talked about a lot, versus ooh, new protocol, new diet coming out, new gadget to use. Oh, they're talking about a new supplement.
00:45:42:19 - 00:45:48:00
Filly
Which is like, you know, basically the same supplements just rebranded as something else.
00:45:48:02 - 00:45:51:06
Dr Amy
Totally. And we don't even really know what's in it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:45:51:12 - 00:45:51:21
Filly
Yeah.
00:45:52:00 - 00:46:15:17
Dr Amy
Yeah. So I like you even just said you even just said, like in healing. So some people may look at me, you know, I have a diagnosis where I have very real lesions on my brain and my spinal cord with symptoms and kind of redefining healing in a way that it's accessible to me today. So some people may say I'm not healed.
00:46:15:17 - 00:46:40:13
Dr Amy
It depends how you're doing it. But I say, I want to define healing. I want to define health. I want to define these words that I want accessible in a way that's in my control. Right. So, you know, health in the dictionary is defined as the absence of symptoms or disease. Well then I can never be healthy. So so of course I had to throw that out.
00:46:40:18 - 00:47:08:13
Dr Amy
And now I call it autoimmune health because I want to bring in the fact that, yes, I have this autoimmune disease. And I encourage, you know, everybody listening, my clients, we write these definitions and we ensure that they're in our control. And so mine, it's changed and evolved. But for the most part, it's the pride that I feel knowing I'm doing what I can to show up for those that I love and for myself.
00:47:08:15 - 00:47:33:08
Dr Amy
And so every part of that, no matter what day it is, I have access to that. And and same thing with healing, right? I, I do feel like I'm healing, even though my skins may light up like a Christmas tree when they're out, which is something we don't want. But, you know, to not let ourselves have the the benefit of those words, when we're doing all we can, would, you know, really be depriving ourselves of something?
00:47:33:08 - 00:47:59:16
Filly
Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's a conversation. Like I'm thinking of some clients who still have. It's all right. Antibodies, for example, showing up in a blood test. Yet symptom wise, they are feeling really good. Now, if the brain connects on to the blood test to say, well, I'm still sick. You know, that's kind of the stuff that we're working on to redefine that.
00:47:59:18 - 00:48:22:18
Filly
And it's so interesting because I had this idealistic belief that it's like, I know that I will be whole and healed when I, when I have no symptoms. And I, no human being on this planet will know, never have any sensations, because it's the way that our body communicates to us as well when it needs to get our attention.
00:48:22:20 - 00:48:23:23
Filly
So I you're.
00:48:23:23 - 00:48:25:12
Dr Amy
All ageing when we're.
00:48:25:12 - 00:48:47:20
Filly
All ageing, at some point we're going to die. And so yeah, so I used to fixate like, I don't actually have any chronic symptoms anymore. Yet sometimes histamine stuff might show up and there's usually a conversation I need to have with myself about it. I don't attach. Yeah. Like that I'm sick or all of a sudden going backwards.
00:48:47:20 - 00:48:54:03
Filly
If I get a little bit itchy, it's like, oh, hello, you. You're back. Yeah.
00:48:54:05 - 00:48:55:11
Dr Amy
So fluffy. Yeah.
00:48:55:13 - 00:48:57:17
Filly
What do I need to say?
00:48:57:19 - 00:49:04:11
Dr Amy
Yeah, yeah, I imagine, yeah. Imagine you talking to yourself with so much love.
00:49:04:13 - 00:49:26:00
Filly
Thank you so much. This has been is such a good conversation. And I think the big theme too is just like reducing that overwhelm to the simple, small next little steps that we can take to take back control and to feel the best version that we can in this season, which is. So that's such a beautiful message.
00:49:26:02 - 00:49:36:23
Filly
Yes, sir. I'll make sure the link below is in our show notes for the quiz that you mentioned earlier. And how else can people find you?
00:49:37:01 - 00:50:03:02
Dr Amy
Oh, sure. I'm, I'm on Instagram, that Amy Behimer coaching. And I also have a podcast called Autoimmune Health Secrets. So, you know, I, and I like to say habits are the worst kept secret because we all know that they can help us, you know, feel better and function better. But the best kept secret is how to actually do them in a way that works exactly what we talked about the whole time.
00:50:03:04 - 00:50:11:15
Dr Amy
How do we take what we know we want to be doing and actually do it? So, yeah, the podcast is a fun place to hang out as well.
00:50:11:17 - 00:50:12:17
Filly
Thank you so much.
00:50:12:23 - 00:50:13:14
Chris
Thank you.
00:50:13:19 - 00:50:14:14
Dr Amy
Lots of having me.
00:50:14:15 - 00:50:27:07
Chris
Lots of great notes from from conversation today. I didn't really say anything or ask any questions, but but got lots of notes in my in my little book here. So thank you so much for the comments. I should.
00:50:27:09 - 00:50:43:22
Dr Amy
Thank you. Sometimes I feel like this evening our I'm not my sharpest, so hopefully I'm like am a 5 a.m. clever for sure. Not really. Not officially. I just like I'm just a morning person, but but yeah. So hopefully, hopefully it was okay.
00:50:44:00 - 00:50:52:21
Chris
It was amazing. Thank you so much Amy. All right, well, have the best, best sleep ever. And, we'll catch everybody. I will another time.
00:50:52:23 - 00:50:54:16
Dr Amy
Right. We'll see you later. Thank you guys.
00:50:54:17 - 00:51:01:18
Chris
See Amy. Bye.
00:51:01:20 - 00:51:11:22
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:51:12:00 - 00:51:36:05
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Buddy Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending buddy burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
00:51:36:07 - 00:51:36:15
Chris
For.
