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Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Body Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
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Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal.
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Filly
And it's a major contributor.
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Filly
To health issues.
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Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
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Filly
So get ready to heal your body.
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Filly
Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
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Chris
Let's dive in.
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Chris
Everybody, welcome to this episode of the Anybody burnout show Filly. Yes, we are going to do a little show and tell today.
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Filly
Oh yeah.
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Chris
Kind of debrief slash, explore a bit of Q and A. Yeah, B maybe more A rather than Q yeah.
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Filly
And anyone who's listening a like, what are we having an explore about careers? So it would have been last month I had one of our past clients, Melissa marsden, on our podcast to one share her Indie Body Band out journey, but also from the overflow of the work that she's done with us and others. She then put on the most beautiful retreat.
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Filly
It was called exhale. For women in business who want.
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Filly
To pause.
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Filly
And reset and go in woods and anyway, I said yes because I'm like, I just love Mel first and foremost. Plus, everything that she does is just so beautiful. So I knew I didn't really even know many of the details around what the retreat was about, but I knew that whatever I was about to experience is going to be amazing.
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Filly
So anyway, last night she spoke about the retreat and last week, or it's probably been a week and a half now. At the time of this recording, I went to the retreat, so I thought.
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Filly
I would.
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Filly
Share my experience. Like first and foremost, I actually find the podcast a really nice way for me to journal.
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Filly
So sometimes when.
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Filly
I've gone through stuff and I feel like it might be helpful for you to hear as well. Personally, for me, it's a beautiful integration of what I've experienced because I have to think a little bit more. That's the word. Like structurally, that's not even necessarily the word, but I'm just bringing everything to the surface to share what I've experienced.
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Filly
So I feel like this podcast, it's going to be like sitting around a campfire with Chris and I as we share some stories. And hopefully true, it might just open up your awareness, your mind, your unconscious mind, the deeper part of you that wants the best for you. And it might even give you some little gold nuggets to start connecting back with yourself, to connect to yourself in a deeper way.
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Filly
As you're listening to the story. Okay. Sorry. So yeah, I said yes to Mel. Pretty soon after she started selling tickets and at that point I said yes because I'm like, yeah, I want more retreats in my life. I want more experiences. And I really want to, support this beautiful woman. And I know that whatever she puts on is going to be amazing.
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Filly
So when I booked in, I didn't really have any, like, major pain around what I might want to break through in the retreat. But a few months leading up to the retreat, it was interesting how the universe just, you know, is working in your favour. Knowing that I had this retreat booked in, I started feeling some. I call it low grade apathy.
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Filly
It wasn't like I was in deep despair or depression, but I just felt quite apathetic around a lot of things, like in all areas of my life. If I'm being really honest, business, family, relationships. And again, it wasn't because on the outside there was anything wrong that was going on. It was more that I had this feeling, I was feeling a bit blah, and I'd been trying to work through it.
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Filly
Even before the retreat. And I was still really confused around what this apathy was about. And so so I went in with an intention. And I think that this, you know, if you're going to take a little learning from this episode, is setting an intention when you embark on a journey is so important. So that might be an intention for a retreat.
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Filly
It might be for a program that you sign up to. Like the ending whatever head out method it might be for a single coaching session, come in with a question and intention of trying to move the needle or get more clarity. It might be when you enter a practice, whether it's a meditation or practice or a breathwork practice or, you know, within our program we have a weekly group, workshops.
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Filly
So especially for clients who are listening, I would always come into a transformational space, even if it's in for an hour with an intention, because it really helps you to get clear on what you want to either.
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Filly
Learn.
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Filly
More about. And that might be a pattern that you're playing out. So for me, it was kind of like, what's this emotion that I'm experiencing? What's this apathy? I'm still really confused about it. So I wanted to gain clarity around it. And I also was hopeful that I would get a shift, if not a major breakthrough, so that I came out of the retreat feeling excited and passionate and vibrant about life again.
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Filly
And so having that intention is, really important. I think otherwise you can kind of just like move into whether it's a coaching session or a trade or a program where it's kind of like, oh, well, I don't feel great. So hopefully I feel good at the end of this. But when you can be really clear on the intention, you're seeding that into your unconscious mind.
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Filly
You're planting seeds subconsciously so that your conscious captain, your conscious mind can help you know who's really where it needs to take you in order to create that deeper shift at a subconscious, unconscious level. Do you have anything to add there, like in terms of your personal experiences with intention?
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Chris
Yeah, yeah. So I, I, I think that any sort of transformation, especially big transformation, is a fluke if there's no intention, you know, and so if you want to, if you want something to not be a fluke, fluke and you want to bring some certainty to it rather than, closing your eyes, you know, I hope I better.
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Chris
And rolling it, rolling the dice. Yeah. You know, this sort of stuff. So to me, it screams a little bit victim mentality and almost.
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Filly
Like, fix me.
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Chris
Is.
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Filly
Fix me experience. Fix me practitioner fix me program first me retreat.
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Chris
Open yourself up to jumping from thing to thing to thing and, never, never quite, allowing the thing that you've, you've immerse yourself into to, to, to to land and settle in you also, when you are intentional, sometimes, sometimes things don't work out the way you expect or what you want. And that's okay.
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Chris
That is, there's no fail. Yep. There's just feedback, you know, and I think without you being intentional, I feel like that frame of feedback can't be received because you haven't been intentional in the first place.
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Filly
That's a such a good thing. It just reminded me when I set the intention, I was holding it both tightly and loosely at the same time. So by holding it tightly, it's like, yep, I'd really love some clarity around this. I'd really love a breakthrough. But then holding it loosely at the same time was just allowing myself to surrendering to it, however long it needs to take for me to be able to break through this apathy.
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Filly
So even when I was setting the intention, I'm like, you know what? Even if it's a stepping stone closer to having a breakthrough, I will be happy with that. Even if I leave the retreat and I'm still confused, I know that everything that I, wholeheartedly lean into is getting me closer to where I want to be.
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Filly
So thanks for sharing that.
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Chris
Yeah, I actually really like that. Because that that is a really nice intention to have because that there are things that are outside of our capacity and capability to think and to control. Yeah, we have, we have a limited amount of things to, actually literally control. We can influence. Sure. But, you know.
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Filly
Yeah, yeah. And that loosely entirely true. So sometimes people get really fixated on fixated on the outcome. So if I was fixated on I need to have a breakthrough by the end of this retreat, then I'm fixating on the outcome rather than than leaning into even enjoying the process to get it. Yeah. So that's the holding onto it loosely is like, yeah, like this.
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Filly
And steps in place. I'll lean into it. Whatever happens, happens. But by the way, conscious unconscious mind, I'm just guiding you towards. This is the thing I want to break through.
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Chris
It sounds weird.
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Filly
So it's not like you're not, like you're surrendering all control. You're still setting where you want to go, but with less, perfectionism.
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Chris
It's and it's it's victime.
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Filly
Less.
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Filly
All or nothing thinking. Yeah.
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Chris
Like it's victim. It's the victim mentality is have to be if I can have this outcome then I'll be able to do the thing that I want to and then I'll be okay. Yeah. You know that's that's a victim mentality. Yeah. And and it's, it's it's found in high performance circles all the time in sport. In my experience in military, in business, personal development, healing.
00:10:15:23 - 00:10:31:17
Chris
And it just like, finds its way in there. And it's a nice. It's not a like you. You suck. See, loser. No, it's not like that at all. It's like, hey, just found this growing point for you right here. You have to begin,
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Filly
Now, in saying that, like, I'll get to some experiences because I had some experiences where I was, engaging in a beautiful practice and I'm like, I'm not feeling anything. So I'm going to come back to that because this is also like, it's not about perfection. It's really just about maturity and growing and evolution and noticing if, like little patterns are yo yoing you back and then returning back to surrendering.
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Filly
Okay, so a little bit about the retreat. If you didn't hear the first, podcast that I did with Mal, as she talked about it, that it was up near the Gold Coast, so it was in Tweed Valley, hinterlands, I think.
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Filly
That's what it's called.
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Chris
The Gold Coast hinterland.
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Filly
The Gold Coast hinterland Tweed. Sorry. Beautiful. Like my drive there. I was crying in my on my drive there, like I just already knew in my soul that things were already shifting even before I got there, because I'd already been working below the surface on this apathy thing and just the magnificence of the mountains and the rocks. Like it really felt like it was a really spiritual place.
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Filly
No idea what has happened there. But even before I went straight to the retreat, I actually flew up to the Gold Coast a day before, which I'm really grateful that I did that, because it enabled me to have some alone time before going to the retreat in peopling. So that was kind of just like a bit of a grounding, a resetting in and of itself.
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Filly
I spent most of the day at the beach and at my favourite cafe, the Cardamon Pod. If you are in the go coast, you must go there. It's so nice. And then I drove down to Silla, Sella Valley, which was the retreat place that it was held in. So it is nestled little cabins, nestled inside small mountains, and there was a beautiful creek running through the valley, beautiful landscape there were, highland.
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Filly
Castles.
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Filly
With those big fluffy. What are those Scottish Scotland castles?
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Filly
Is it.
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Chris
Is it is it these, these ones? Where am I? Yeah, there I am those, those bad boys.
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Filly
Yeah, yeah. Like the, the Bighorns. And they all had ducks and chickens and.
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Filly
Bulls.
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Filly
And butterflies and the most stunning dragonflies. It was just so beautiful. And again, I cried. I remember my little cabin was on the top of the hill, and I had to walk down a hill to get to the main pavilion, where we did a lot of the activities. And after I got settled into my cabin and I was walking down, I'm just looking at these magnificent small mountains and I just I couldn't help it cry.
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Filly
I was just like.
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Filly
This is this. It just felt I felt really grateful for being there. But I also knew it was a really aligned decision that I'd made. So I thanked my past self for saying yes.
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Filly
Even though there were a whole.
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Filly
Heap of reasons and excuses why I could have said no. So so that was lovely. No hiding private chefs who used out a drain or diet to craft the most beautiful and nourishing whole foods, and we were just so well fed throughout the whole retreat, which was so lovely, because then my physical body felt very nourished.
00:13:49:20 - 00:14:13:09
Filly
And then we did a lot of different, things. So we did a lot of meditation, we did breathwork, we did town healing. That was free time to walking nature. There was a lot of journaling. We had a beautiful practitioner coming, a Chinese medicine doctor coming in to talk about cycles and life seasons. There were fire, fire ceremonies, yoga practices.
00:14:13:14 - 00:14:33:07
Filly
It was just beautiful. And the whole curation of each activity building on top of each other. I spoke to Mal about this later, and I said it really felt like I jumped into a train and every thing, every experience that we that I experienced over the four days led me to the transformation that I had by the end.
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Filly
I can't even.
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Filly
Explain it logically, rationally, but it just for me, it just shamelessly took me on the most beautiful journey. So I'm actually going to read some things from my journal, because when I was prepping for this podcast, I'm like, I don't know, there's so much that came off and there's so many like different threads and different tangents that I could go on.
00:14:53:04 - 00:14:55:10
Filly
So I thought I'd just like go on a tangent.
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Filly
So that sounds good. Chris. Sounds good.
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Filly
And actually, I mean, we had, a longish conversation on the phone while I was at the retreat, but I feel like since I've been home, we've hardly had any time.
00:15:09:12 - 00:15:10:15
Chris
Crossed paths yet.
00:15:10:17 - 00:15:14:10
Filly
Because you've gone and done your stuff. After looking after the.
00:15:14:10 - 00:15:14:22
Filly
Keys.
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Chris
I just. Yeah.
00:15:16:04 - 00:15:24:10
Filly
And then I've been busy catching up with all our clients one on one. And so this is probably the first day that we can actually like, I can share some other things.
00:15:24:11 - 00:15:34:14
Chris
That's been pretty cool. Yeah, I won't go too much into it, but like, yeah, my, my life we've been as, as you said ships in the night. You know, passing the last couple of weeks.
00:15:34:16 - 00:15:36:17
Filly
Yep. Okay.
00:15:36:17 - 00:15:40:16
Filly
Sorry we started off. Oh actually it started off on.
00:15:40:16 - 00:15:59:16
Filly
What day was it Thursday night. So we came in in the afternoon and we had a beautiful dinner. And it was pretty casual, kind of just like getting to know each other. I feel like the the deepest stuff started the next day. So mellow did a really beautiful welcome ceremony where we sat on the grass. We looked towards the creek.
00:15:59:16 - 00:16:32:00
Filly
She had she had infusing. Oh, it is Egyptian blue lotus flowers for tea, which apparently actually we were all pretty Zen. So it's this Egyptian blue lotus flower if you steep it. I mean, we did a short stint, but you can stay fit for up to 12 hours and it has the most relaxing calm even, like, very mild psychedelic type, experiences that you can have with this blue lotus leaf flower.
00:16:32:00 - 00:16:53:20
Filly
So that was really nice. And then we did some meditation and what I noticed, oh, what really touched me in that was at the end of the welcome ceremony. Each one of us ladies came up and stood in front of, Mel and she used the, the ceremonial smoking steak and kind of like, you know, waved it over our face and above our head.
00:16:53:20 - 00:17:04:05
Filly
And we brought it in and then sprayed us with beautiful botanic mist. And then she placed her hand on my heart. I'm going to, I probably will stop crying during this.
00:17:04:07 - 00:17:04:21
Filly
And I feel.
00:17:04:21 - 00:17:23:19
Filly
Like the moment that she did that, something inside of me started cracking open. I know what it is now in hindsight, but in the moment I'm just like, this feels really nice to be touched by another woman on my heart. Also a woman that I've had, we've been on an 18 month journey with. In terms of me facilitating her healing.
00:17:23:19 - 00:17:24:19
Filly
And now she's.
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Filly
It's.
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Filly
We've come full circle. So that was really beautiful. And then we sat on, our yoga mats and in a kind of like a woman's circle, actually something really special about where the only where the retreat was held is that, there was a mountain nearby where it was quite a sacred space for the indigenous culture, and it was sacred because a lot of women circles occurred there over many, many like thousands of years.
00:17:57:13 - 00:18:29:18
Filly
And so that was I feel like that really added to the energy of us, being there together in a circle with, bunch of woman women sharing some really deep stuff. So Mel asked the question, where am I sacrificing myself to keep the peace? And this was a question for the group, and I really struggled to kind of think of that, an answer to that question, like a lot of other people were, you know, talking about sacrificing themselves for other people.
00:18:29:18 - 00:18:57:06
Filly
But I'm like, alright, I'm not feeling that. Like, I really don't feel like I'm sacrificing myself. Kind of like from a people pleasing rescuing over doing perspective to keep the peace. But I just sat with the question and the more I sat with it, I realised. And again in the moment I couldn't understand why. But there was a part of me that I was sacrificing to keep the peace in myself.
00:18:57:07 - 00:19:16:11
Filly
And so that was a really beautiful question, because then this question then filtered out through the whole retreat in terms of what I was experiencing. So I was really trying to get in touch with what's the part of me that I've been sacrificing in order to keep peace within myself and by peace? It's kind of more around safety.
00:19:16:11 - 00:19:37:19
Filly
Like, what's the part of being sacrificing to? Because like, if I let that part of me, explode and come to the surface and, like, come in her full power, there was another part of me that felt like that was going to be really dangerous. Something unsafe was going to happen. Okay.
00:19:37:19 - 00:19:40:11
Filly
So what what what what was it?
00:19:40:13 - 00:19:44:19
Chris
Yeah. What was it? Okay, so I was hanging.
00:19:44:21 - 00:19:48:01
Filly
Well, here's the thing. Like, I always feel like.
00:19:48:03 - 00:19:50:10
Chris
Stay tuned. You find out next time.
00:19:50:10 - 00:20:12:23
Filly
Stay tuned. Okay. Well, in that moment. So what I said is this is a question to myself. I said, is this apathy keeping me safe? So this emotional apathy I was feeling keeping me safe from either, scaling or from stepping into my next level of clean, healing energy. That's kind of where I was at at the at that point.
00:20:12:23 - 00:20:25:17
Filly
That is not where I ended up. That was just a question at the time. Okay. And then I was thinking, oh, maybe I'm sacrificing something new because Chris Chris actually came.
00:20:25:17 - 00:20:26:03
Filly
When we.
00:20:26:03 - 00:20:42:22
Filly
Were when I was trying to like, verbalise this with the group and like Mel and the other women were asking me questions like, all of a sudden had a vision of Chris performing on the stage. So Chris is becoming an actor. He is an actor. He is being an actor. And I'm like.
00:20:42:22 - 00:20:44:05
Filly
Oh, because.
00:20:44:07 - 00:21:04:18
Filly
Maybe, maybe I want to be like, Chris. Maybe I want to, like, maybe I'm sacrificing myself to find like a really random hobby that, you know, just like, give me more life, give me more energy, give me more excitement. So that's kind of where I started going. And none of these things, by the way, ended up being what's the word?
00:21:04:20 - 00:21:31:02
Filly
Ended up being wrong, but it was kind of like, these are just the little seeds that I was starting to become consciously aware of. Okay. And so then we, had a, women's health conversation with Carey, who is a Chinese medicine practitioner. I really loved, like, I mean, she talked a lot about things that we talk about from a body systems point of view.
00:21:31:04 - 00:21:51:00
Filly
Also holistically looking at the body and mind and the connection. But she had a lot of, some different language from a Chinese medicine perspective that really resonated with me. And one was talking about the the mind, the heart and the womb. So as I was thinking about, like unpacking this apathy and what am I sacrificing inside of myself?
00:21:51:00 - 00:22:14:15
Filly
I'm like, yeah, well, I definitely know. Like I'm very heavy with the mind. The mind often chooses what next? What are we doing now? Even when I'm, trying to uncover something deep within me, it's kind of like the mind that comes on first. Very. I'm very data. I'm very science. I'm very, what's the next step type brain.
00:22:14:17 - 00:22:20:19
Filly
And so I realised that my heart and my womb space were being squashed a bit.
00:22:20:21 - 00:22:21:17
Filly
00:22:21:19 - 00:22:48:21
Filly
And so when I started asking, what does my heart want? What my heart wants wanted freedom and spaciousness and fun and play. And from this I can step into living my high purpose of light and love and influence, and that can ripple out from who I am. And the womb space was really interesting to me because when I think about the womb, that's like like mother energy, feminine energy, but also like groundedness.
00:22:48:21 - 00:23:05:14
Filly
And, and there is a, there is a toughness to the womb as well. It's kind of like the mother bear comes out and it is the protective part as well. So there was something in that that I was like, ooh, okay, there's some things coming up to the surface.
00:23:05:16 - 00:23:30:12
Chris
Yeah. I mean, what is what is the womb? The womb is a container of creation and growth. You know, it doesn't it doesn't. It's not the, the, the formation of the seed. And that would be the, the ovaries. Right. So but that but this is, this is the container where the growth happens. So anyway, I think about this all the time to sort of metaphors.
00:23:30:13 - 00:23:32:05
Chris
Yeah. But
00:23:32:07 - 00:23:36:00
Filly
Yeah, it's like a creation as well. It's the creative space.
00:23:36:00 - 00:23:36:10
Chris
Yeah.
00:23:36:11 - 00:23:37:02
Filly
Place.
00:23:37:04 - 00:24:01:14
Chris
Yeah. And fruit freedom. I like how you're talking about freedom. Freedom is an interesting concept to to study. I just finished reading was this book. It was Fahrenheit 451. In all my commutes down to, to Hobart. I listened to Fahrenheit 451, which is dystopian, freedom constricted society. And there's another one where they they burned all the books.
00:24:01:14 - 00:24:22:18
Chris
And another one is called Brave New World by Alice Huxley talks about cloning and other stuff like that Segway. But anyway, it talks about freedom largely. And, you know, if we if we don't have freedom, we just become animals. This is one of our greatest human, human blessings I love it. Yeah.
00:24:22:20 - 00:24:48:08
Filly
Yeah. So again, like if I use that question, what where are you sacrificing yourself in order to keep the peace? I mean, there it's definitely a part of that where it's like, well, I'm sacrificing the part of me that wants to, like, just be free and be on a stage like Chris and, actually one of the things that came off, it's like, oh my gosh, I think I need to be in a theatre production like a musical production.
00:24:48:09 - 00:24:49:06
Filly
Do you?
00:24:49:08 - 00:24:56:08
Filly
Oh, and I and I need to join a choir. These aren't needs, by the way. These are ones. This is like the heart was like, oh.
00:24:56:10 - 00:24:59:04
Filly
I want to start singing and dancing and.
00:24:59:07 - 00:25:00:11
Chris
And what do they do for me?
00:25:00:14 - 00:25:01:20
Filly
Just for fun.
00:25:01:20 - 00:25:06:02
Filly
Like, not not to make money, not to put food on the table.
00:25:06:07 - 00:25:21:23
Filly
But then the part of me that was squashing that was like, no, no, no, no, no, you got to be you got to be serious. Yeah, yeah. You know, if you do all of that, then you won't be able to have time to put into your business. And the house is going to, like, go to poop and then the kids aren't going to be fed healthy food.
00:25:21:23 - 00:25:25:23
Filly
So it was kind of like I was sacrificing the part of me that was just.
00:25:25:23 - 00:25:29:19
Filly
Like wanting to sing, dance and come alive.
00:25:29:21 - 00:25:51:16
Chris
Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes people get lost in the point. Hey, like the point isn't the, the doing of the doings. It's it's, you know, just be you can be free to, to be on a stage. You can be free to, to, to have these options and take the options or with that same side of that same stick, if I'm not sure.
00:25:51:16 - 00:26:03:20
Chris
That's right. Anyway, you know, you can you can choose to not do that, but but to have the freedom to accept that you have the freedom to stand on the stage and perform and say.
00:26:03:20 - 00:26:10:23
Filly
Yeah, like I can choose, I can. I'm the queen, I'm the king, the castle, I'm an adult. Now I get to choose how I live my life.
00:26:11:00 - 00:26:11:19
Chris
Go for it. And you.
00:26:11:20 - 00:26:12:21
Filly
Thank you babe.
00:26:13:00 - 00:26:14:20
Filly
Like you want to come join the.
00:26:14:20 - 00:26:15:08
Filly
Davenport.
00:26:15:08 - 00:26:16:15
Filly
Choral Society with me?
00:26:16:21 - 00:26:21:00
Chris
Yeah, I, I I don't think anybody wants to hear me sing, but you can act.
00:26:21:00 - 00:26:22:00
Filly
You don't have to sing.
00:26:22:02 - 00:26:26:21
Chris
I can, I can lift things off my shelves. I am one of the best.
00:26:27:02 - 00:26:51:13
Filly
Something else that came from that. The Chinese medicine, conversation, too, is seasons and cycles. So, you know, I'm. I know all about the female hormone cycle. But then Carrie was also talking about, well, there's also a seven year cycle. And, you know, every seven years we go into this season. So personally, for me, I'm almost 42.
00:26:51:13 - 00:27:14:20
Filly
I'm 42 next year. So I'm actually coming to the end of a seven year cycle. And usually what happens at the end of a cycle, just like, you know, when you're about to start bleeding in your period, if you are a woman that has a cycle that's still cycling, it's kind of like you're almost this, this shedding and it can feel like apathy.
00:27:14:20 - 00:27:41:03
Filly
It's kind of like things are coming to an end. Things are dying off. Things can feel a bit blah. But then when the seven year cycle starts again, it's like new growth, new life, new things. And so that actually gave me a new language as well around the apathy. And also for me to kind of just like be okay with how I had been feeling.
00:27:41:05 - 00:27:57:11
Filly
It's like, oh, that makes a lot of sense, because there's nothing outside in my external world that has caused me to feel this. I think that this is just a cycle thing. This is something that like, I'm coming down and I'm about to be reborn in 2026.
00:27:57:13 - 00:28:18:02
Filly
And then that night we had a sound, healing, experience, which was beautiful. But this is where my my little brain started. My mind started picking up. So during this sound healing, I'm like, yeah, this is nice. This is lovely. But like, I'm like, my brain's thinking about like a bunch of other stuff. I'm not being present.
00:28:18:04 - 00:28:41:14
Filly
Why am I not having a shift or a breakthrough? And that's where that's like what I meant in terms of the intention that I held. And just surrendering to whatever unfolds, unfolds. And this is where a part of me was kind of like, nope, we need the outcome now. We need to break through this apathy now. We thought that this sound healing was going to be, like so magical, and by the end of it, I was going to be born reborn again.
00:28:41:16 - 00:29:04:16
Filly
And so throughout this 90 minutes, things didn't really shift. And then the moment that I realised this part of me showing off and kind of like being a bit antsy, I just like leant into the NC ness. I'm kind of like I just surrendered into it, just allowed it to be there, and then it dissolved and it disappeared because there was no danger anymore.
00:29:04:18 - 00:29:26:16
Filly
And then right at the end, the lady sang over me and then she touched. I think it was my feet on my shoulders. But the moment that she physically touched me and sung over me, I burst out crying like a little baby. And the words came. The words mother love came to me and I felt it in my womb space.
00:29:26:18 - 00:29:55:04
Filly
And I was like, oh, I don't know how or why this happened, but this is really pivotal. And there's something around this touch and this feeling of mother love that was just like vibrating throughout my whole body. That is really important to this thing I had been struggling with. So stay tuned for more. Okay. Then the next day, we had a breathwork session.
00:29:55:04 - 00:30:14:14
Filly
We talked about the nervous system. Oh, there's like so much I can say about the nervous system, but I don't think I'll include it in this podcast. But the breathwork session was really beautiful. I love a good kind of like rebirthing a tropic breathwork session.
00:30:14:16 - 00:30:16:07
Filly
And.
00:30:16:09 - 00:30:45:23
Filly
I relaxed into that really deeply. So it was un unlike the, the healing session, which kind of like I wasn't really feeling much. It's like the moment that I closed my eyes and I started breathing, I was, I was just into this. That's like, this is lovely. Whatever happens, happens. It's going to be amazing. But as I was, doing the breathwork session, some things kept like some reoccurring things kept popping up.
00:30:45:23 - 00:31:01:03
Filly
So it was very tactile. The breathwork session, there were two practitioners that came and like touched us to move out, moved our bodies and like supported our diaphragm and energetically like held space for us physically as well. And every time I.
00:31:01:03 - 00:31:07:21
Filly
Got touched, I just started crying again. Hi, this is so beautiful.
00:31:07:23 - 00:31:10:16
Filly
And then I'm starting to think, like if I've been starved of.
00:31:10:16 - 00:31:16:05
Filly
Touch is this what the apathy is about? I just need more physical touch in my life.
00:31:16:07 - 00:31:17:17
Filly
But then the same when.
00:31:17:17 - 00:31:20:01
Chris
I'm off of this.
00:31:20:03 - 00:31:20:11
Filly
Then the.
00:31:20:11 - 00:31:45:11
Filly
Same words keep coming, keep kept coming to my whole body. Not just my mind, but like I felt it in my heart, in my womb. And every cell in my body was like mother love. And so. And then I probably about halfway through into that breathwork. So we did more intensive breathing and then halfway through we stopped and we just like, slowed down our breathing.
00:31:45:11 - 00:32:13:18
Filly
And it was deep relaxation. And during this deep relaxation, I mean, I've never had psychedelic mushrooms before, but I imagined that this is what it would feel like. So I couldn't even keep my eyes closed anymore because my whole body was vibrating with light and with love and with passion and with excitement. And like my whole system wanted to burst in a really beautiful way that I'm like, I can't keep my eyes.
00:32:13:18 - 00:32:15:11
Filly
Closed any longer.
00:32:15:13 - 00:32:26:08
Filly
And so I just like I opened up my eyes as I continued the breathwork and the white roof was kind of like moving, as if I was like on tracks.
00:32:26:10 - 00:32:29:15
Filly
I know that this is sounding really weird, but I just.
00:32:29:15 - 00:32:54:00
Filly
Felt like I was having the most beautiful spiritual, enlightened experience and I was lit up by my own happy juice. I was lit up by me, and at the end of the breathwork session, I had like this new insight dropped in and it's like I've returned back home. Like I've I've returned back home to me.
00:32:54:00 - 00:32:57:21
Filly
And it was so beautiful.
00:32:57:23 - 00:33:20:02
Filly
So yeah. And it was all like in terms of, yeah, I was just like busting, needing to get out of the retreat so I could go live my life, even though that was still a day and a half left. And I didn't want to leave because it was a beautiful experience. But just that overflow of returning back to me, giving my soul that deep, my love and that deep touch.
00:33:20:04 - 00:33:35:16
Filly
And then it's like, oh, I just want this to ripple out into the world, into my family, into my clients. And just like everyone, because this is amazing and sorry, from that moment, I really felt like I'd broken through the apathy. I'm like, wow, retreat! It's not even done and I'm ready to go. I can go home now.
00:33:35:16 - 00:33:36:07
Filly
My passion.
00:33:36:07 - 00:33:39:13
Filly
Is back. And that's when I called.
00:33:39:13 - 00:33:46:11
Filly
Chris. Do you remember having the conversation? I think you even said something. You said you, sparkly.
00:33:46:15 - 00:33:46:20
Chris
Oh.
00:33:46:20 - 00:33:50:08
Filly
Yeah. No glowing.
00:33:50:10 - 00:34:07:22
Chris
What's cool? I actually took a screenshot. I've got that photo of that exact time. Of when you said that. That's. And I was looking at that the other day, actually, it was very, very funny.
00:34:08:00 - 00:34:13:03
Filly
Just. Oh, yeah. It's a nice photo. Chris is just pulling it off on Facebook, and he's fine now.
00:34:13:05 - 00:34:16:20
Chris
It's, it's a swan. If anyone is.
00:34:16:22 - 00:34:17:10
Filly
Fuzzy, it's a.
00:34:17:10 - 00:34:21:11
Chris
Bit blurry. You can see it. Oh, there we go. There you go.
00:34:21:13 - 00:34:23:11
Filly
We can add it to socials.
00:34:23:13 - 00:34:25:05
Chris
There we go. Look at that blur. Yeah.
00:34:25:05 - 00:34:26:06
Filly
That's not working. That's.
00:34:26:06 - 00:34:32:19
Chris
That wasn't working. Oh, there we go. Hahaha. That wasn't a very good example.
00:34:32:21 - 00:34:35:14
Filly
Okay.
00:34:35:15 - 00:34:58:06
Filly
Yeah. And I think I was just like, had so many business ideas in terms of like how I can integrate all of this into our ending body burnout method and really like, love up and serve up our clients and just connecting back to and and deep soul and deep intuition. So it was so beautiful. I forgot to mention we had a yoga session that morning and same thing happened.
00:34:58:06 - 00:35:21:02
Filly
Like, I was kind of like just moving through the same thing happening with the sound healing. I was moving through the the actions with my body. And, you know, I was like, yeah, this is nice, but I'm not really feeling it. Then lay down on the yoga mat at the end to do savasana. And the yoga lady, Heidi came in and touched me again and I burst out crying again.
00:35:21:02 - 00:35:25:18
Filly
It's like mother love touch. Oh my. So like.
00:35:25:18 - 00:35:28:10
Filly
Physically I'm not just being touched, but my soul is being.
00:35:28:11 - 00:35:29:16
Filly
Touched.
00:35:29:18 - 00:35:32:11
Chris
We'll be right back after this interval.
00:35:32:13 - 00:35:34:21
Filly
Are you? Evening. Sorry.
00:35:34:23 - 00:35:36:08
Filly
Oh, I'm.
00:35:36:12 - 00:35:40:10
Filly
I'm on. Chris. Just smooched me.
00:35:40:12 - 00:35:42:05
Filly
Okay.
00:35:42:07 - 00:36:02:05
Filly
Sorry, sorry. Now, I mentioned the yoga because we did two yoga sessions, so that was the the first yoga session. I had the that same and this is before the breathwork session. But then the next morning we are here again, and this time I was like, fully in flow. I was moving through the yoga movements, I did savasana, Heidi touched me again.
00:36:02:05 - 00:36:20:20
Filly
And this time it's like, oh, that's nice, but I've already given it to myself before you touched me. And that was a really profound moment, because then it's like I was trying to think, how do I integrate this into real life when I go home? Like, do I need to be booked in for a massage and like a body work session every week?
00:36:20:20 - 00:36:32:14
Filly
And I don't know, like have sex every day with my husband? Chris is like, yes, please. But then I'm like, well, I mean, I can get lots of hugs from my, my family.
00:36:32:16 - 00:36:33:16
Chris
My doodle break.
00:36:33:16 - 00:36:37:08
Filly
Off. Oh, shush. I can get lots of hugs.
00:36:37:08 - 00:36:55:16
Filly
From my family. But I think that the important part or the insight for me was giving that deep soul touch to me because I realise and this was part of the sacrificing self in order to keep the peace. Where's that? And this is why the apathy was so confusing. Because other ladies, when I first talked about it, they're like, oh, maybe you just need to delegate more.
00:36:55:16 - 00:37:21:14
Filly
Maybe you need like, maybe you don't have enough time. Maybe you're feeling burnt out. And I'm like, I am not feeling burnt out. This apathy is not burnout. I have so much space in my life like I do lovely things for myself. I care for myself. I have Reiki listeners, I make beautiful food. I go for walks on the beach, I go hiking, I listen to podcasts, I do meditation, I do somatic practices.
00:37:21:16 - 00:37:46:07
Filly
But what I, what I took away from my experience was, yes, I had created a lot of space to do that. And I like hand on heart, enjoy doing what I do for self-care. But there was a missing piece where I wasn't slowing down enough to create a really deep steel point that allowed me to touch my soul or my soul to touch me.
00:37:46:09 - 00:38:04:02
Filly
And so that's what I've been practising since being home in terms of that deep soul touch, as well as lots of hugs from my kids and. Last night we cuddled, I should say, last night because again, there hasn't been a lot of time that we've been together.
00:38:04:04 - 00:38:06:10
Chris
Yeah.
00:38:06:12 - 00:38:08:02
Filly
Okay. So that was all awesome.
00:38:08:02 - 00:38:26:19
Filly
And then the rest of the retreat where we shifted a bit more into, like email took us to. Okay. So we've had some great insights. We've had some great breakthroughs. But what do you want when you leave this retreat? How are you going to what are you going to leave behind, and what are you going to take with you and to enter into that?
00:38:26:19 - 00:38:41:10
Filly
She took us on a 25 year into the future meditation, which is really beautiful and basically it was just like, bring to your imagination where you'll be in 25 years time. And you look in the mirror and this is what you look like, and this is where you're living.
00:38:41:13 - 00:38:44:16
Chris
I just read your first line of that. That's cool. That excites me.
00:38:44:17 - 00:38:45:08
Filly
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:38:45:08 - 00:38:45:18
Chris
Keep going.
00:38:45:18 - 00:39:04:15
Filly
So. So mine was like, where it took me was, I'm living in a white house on a cliff near a beach with Chris, and the gals and their families are visiting, as well as my family coming to visit. And I'm fit and I'm healthy, and I'm well in this spunky 60s, 66 year old.
00:39:04:17 - 00:39:05:05
Filly
Lots, lots.
00:39:05:05 - 00:39:32:17
Filly
And lots, lots more. Now, what was interesting that was, I was proud in terms of how I had lived my life and the legacy that I had created with my business and with work. But I was retired by then, which was interesting because when we came back to prison, it's like, okay, cool. So if this is what's important to you in 25 years time, now check in with your priorities and how you're spending your time.
00:39:32:17 - 00:39:55:20
Filly
And so that was a bit of an insight. I was like, okay, I'm going to prioritise more time with my family, less time with work. And when we finished the 25 years from now meditation, we all opened our eyes and we had a little envelope sitting in front of us, and I opened up my envelope and there was a photo inside, and I was a bit kind of confused initially.
00:39:55:20 - 00:40:17:16
Filly
I'm like this little me when I was six years old, it but she's hugging this old lady who is this old lady? And then I realised the old lady was me. In 25 years time, Mel had used A.I. to create like a 66 year old version of me and old me and little me were hugging, and it was the same for all the other women in the circle.
00:40:17:16 - 00:40:25:00
Filly
And we all just like we all burst out crying. It was just like such a beautiful.
00:40:25:02 - 00:40:32:03
Filly
I don't even know why I felt so emotional about it, but it's like, oh my gosh, that's me and that's little me. And I'm here now.
00:40:32:03 - 00:40:35:17
Filly
Present me and like, we're all integrating together.
00:40:35:19 - 00:40:39:23
Filly
I was so beautiful.
00:40:40:01 - 00:40:41:17
Filly
Yeah. And then we did.
00:40:41:19 - 00:40:42:06
Filly
A lot.
00:40:42:06 - 00:40:51:23
Filly
More. Kind of like journaling around our life and our business and where we want to go and the changes that we want to make. And then at the end.
00:40:51:23 - 00:40:52:22
Filly
Of.
00:40:53:01 - 00:41:14:14
Filly
The last night of the retreat, we had a forest fire ceremony. So we had a fire burning in the fire pit, and we threw into the fire the things that we no longer wanted to take with us into the real world. And before that, Mel did it in a child meditation where it's like, is there a part of you that's holding back from throwing this into the fire?
00:41:14:16 - 00:41:17:16
Filly
And what was really interesting at this point in the retreat was, like.
00:41:17:16 - 00:41:25:02
Filly
Not there's no part of me that's not ready to let this go. Check in. In the fire. Whoa.
00:41:25:04 - 00:41:28:18
Filly
It was so good.
00:41:28:19 - 00:41:32:08
Filly
So there kind of like the main things that.
00:41:32:10 - 00:41:33:12
Filly
Showed up for me, and.
00:41:33:12 - 00:41:34:09
Filly
I think.
00:41:34:11 - 00:41:55:10
Filly
So. It was a beautiful experience. I highly recommend I was going to be doing this, same or similar retreat again in 2025. So if you're a woman in business, I would definitely check it out. I'll put in the show notes, a link to her retreat, and there is a white lace so you can put your name down to.
00:41:55:12 - 00:42:14:03
Filly
Express your interest and. Yeah, I guess I didn't know how to really wrap up this conversation, but I think, too, I mean, okay, one thing that came out of it was as well, and I've kind of, like very quickly suggested this to Chris was like, I want to create a cool, interesting experience for our clients.
00:42:14:04 - 00:42:21:05
Chris
So a couple of things have happened since, since that, you got a text message from your sister. We will move on. Are we.
00:42:21:07 - 00:42:21:23
Filly
Ready? Yeah.
00:42:22:01 - 00:42:22:11
Filly
Let's share.
00:42:22:12 - 00:42:23:19
Chris
Okay, well, well.
00:42:23:21 - 00:42:26:21
Filly
Let's share it. Because then, if people are like, yes, Chris.
00:42:26:21 - 00:42:29:12
Filly
And fully put this on for us.
00:42:29:14 - 00:42:47:21
Filly
Like I'm thinking when I say in person, I mean something that might be just like an easy thing that we could put on straight away. It would be like a one day thing, but like a real rich experience thing. When you come in with an intention to get clarity or to have a breakthrough, by the end of it, you leave changed or one step closer.
00:42:48:00 - 00:42:58:00
Chris
We live in a beautiful part of the world, so Tasmania could be a go, but you got a really cool text message from your sister that kind of got the cogs turning in more earnest. Yeah.
00:42:58:01 - 00:43:16:12
Filly
And this is more a retreat. So it was like, far out. Like, what if we did, like, a three, four even, like even week long retreat? Well, basically we take I don't know if it would be taking everyone through our ending body burnout method from start to end in a really condensed period. Or it might even be a different offering.
00:43:16:12 - 00:43:32:00
Filly
Not sure what that would look like, but anyway, they know the parts of me that are just like, you know, the rational, logical part is like, that's going to be really hard. And, you know, would people pay for that? And, like, you know, it's a big risk. And, you know, we would fork out all this money for accommodation.
00:43:32:00 - 00:43:36:19
Filly
And what if we only feel two other spots and then the next day.
00:43:36:21 - 00:43:37:17
Chris
The minute.
00:43:37:19 - 00:43:54:00
Filly
I get a text from my sister and she's like, I have just bought. So she has some investment properties and she's just purchased a new one. She's like, I've just bought the dream beach house in Jarvis Bay. So this is in New South Wales, beautiful part of Australia.
00:43:54:05 - 00:43:55:14
Chris
We went to our honeymoon there.
00:43:55:18 - 00:43:57:23
Filly
Yeah we did. We can okay. Could be really.
00:43:57:23 - 00:43:59:15
Filly
Special then holding retreat back.
00:43:59:16 - 00:44:00:20
Chris
We got sunburnt.
00:44:00:22 - 00:44:04:02
Filly
And oh my gosh.
00:44:04:04 - 00:44:09:22
Filly
I was such a sad injury when we first got married. I'm like, we are not going to pay for a hotel. We're going to go camping.
00:44:09:22 - 00:44:14:12
Chris
On our border. We bought a tent and went on our honeymoon.
00:44:14:14 - 00:44:32:10
Filly
Okay. Anyway, so yeah, so she has this beautiful beach house. It's quite big as well. So it's two, essentially two houses on one property right on the beach. Beautiful landscape. Like I'm looking at the photos. I'm like. And she even said to me even before I thought about the retreat, she's like.
00:44:32:16 - 00:44:33:01
Filly
You need.
00:44:33:01 - 00:44:36:05
Filly
To hold a retreat here. Please hold her retreat.
00:44:36:05 - 00:44:36:22
Filly
I'll help.
00:44:36:22 - 00:44:45:18
Chris
You. And it could work. It might not work better, but. But it'll just to come back down to earth, you know, like it would be. Really. It would be amazing. But it got out. It got us thinking about retreat.
00:44:46:00 - 00:45:03:15
Filly
Yeah, right. And I think it's just, like, I love having an online business because I think that, you know, we can work with anyone in the world. It's also like, personally, for me, I love doing stuff online as a client, too, whether it's business or personal development, because it's just like so convenient.
00:45:03:17 - 00:45:04:03
Filly
Yeah.
00:45:04:06 - 00:45:25:03
Filly
But also there's this beautiful richness of being in the same space physically, energetically, with another personal group of people. And my experience of the retreat was like, far out. I'd love to have more of that personally for myself, but also creating that for our community somehow, somewhere, whether it's in Tasmania or Jarvis Bay.
00:45:25:03 - 00:45:26:14
Filly
Not sure. Yeah, maybe.
00:45:26:14 - 00:45:30:13
Filly
We can go on a road trip and take the retreat all around Australia.
00:45:30:15 - 00:45:43:23
Chris
Tell us what you think, guys. You know, so while you're listening to this, I found something cool out in Spotify. If you're listening to this on Spotify, you can leave a comment down below in our episode, if you want to.
00:45:44:01 - 00:45:44:14
Filly
Yeah.
00:45:44:15 - 00:45:45:08
Chris
Tell us what you want.
00:45:45:09 - 00:46:03:22
Filly
Yeah, that'd be great. All right, well, thanks for coming for our fireside chat. Or, you know, cafe chat, whatever you whatever location you're currently listening this to this and hopefully you got something out of it. And if you didn't, I enjoyed sharing my experience, at least to myself and Chris. Yeah.
00:46:03:23 - 00:46:28:19
Chris
Dare to dream. Dare to dream, baby. Open the the the thing that is hitting me about this is you might not, do the exact thing that we're talking about, or you might not be up for that, and you might not be up for for some of the things you dreamt about, but have the freedom to open you, open your heart and your and your mind to to possibilities.
00:46:28:19 - 00:46:55:22
Chris
And I think that if you shot down ideas and dreams while you're in the middle of dreaming them, you that that is a cancer and it is contagious and it is and it is awful and is really, really, really squashing it suffocates you and might invite to you would be to dare be brave enough to dream. Have these, have these ideas.
00:46:55:22 - 00:47:17:19
Chris
Don't squash them, just let them come up. 999 what am I saying? 999 out of a thousand might not pan out and you might know it, but but open yourself up to allowing to to to explore them. And you don't have to. Just because you think of something doesn't mean you have to do the doing of it.
00:47:17:21 - 00:47:18:17
Filly
Yeah.
00:47:18:19 - 00:47:35:19
Filly
And in order to do that, it's creating the space and the time to be still and listen to what your soul wants in your heart once and exhaling. Just wanted to end on the word exhale because that's the retreat. It was called exhale.
00:47:35:20 - 00:47:48:22
Chris
Love it. Our team. Thank you. Very team. You're in our team. You guys are our team. All right. Thanks for listening and we will talk to you next time.
00:47:49:00 - 00:47:59:02
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:47:59:04 - 00:48:25:02
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
00:48:25:04 - 00:48:25:16
Chris
For.
