Hurry & Worry: Why You Lose The Plot At Your Kids (& Burn Yourself Out In The Process)Sep 05, 2022
Hey there! It’s Chris here today. Aren’t kids the best teachers? I had an experience the other week with our youngest, that taught me a lot about myself. If you’re a parent feeling like you’re losing the plot to your kids (and burning yourself out in the process!), I think you’ll relate to this story about cornflakes ;)
HURRY & WORRY
There were three small forkfuls of vegetables on the plate. My 7yr old had not touched a single vegetable. I looked over at her plate as I heard her pouring corn flakes into her bowl and before she had a chance to ask for my help to pour the milk, I snapped.
"Elsie! You haven't eaten your vegetables! Why are you eating cornflakes?"
"Because I'm hungrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!" Cue a pout, puffed cheeks and wet eyes.
"No honey. You're hungry because you haven't eaten your dinner yet! You can't have cornflakes."
"But, I'm hungrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!" Increased amounts of pout, cheek-puffing and eye wetness, with an emphatic spurt of stomping and shrug-thigh-punching. "I want dessert!"
"Dessert? You want cornflakes for dessert?"
"Alright, that sounds awesome...you gotta eat those vegetables first."
Chris was doing ok at this point. But it is clear he had a WORRY about something.
We'll come back to this worry in a second.
"But, I'm hungrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!"
With an increased urgency and clear frustration, I started losing my cool. I took a deep breath and tried really hard to not yell.
But my temper was as lost as my wife gets in a political thriller.
I was losing my cool because I NEEDED to wash the dishes and vacuum the floors and bathe the kids and feed the dog and take the dog out for a pee & a poo and eat my own dinner and wipe the benches and tidy the lounge room and email a client and do a workout and...and...well...I DIDN'T HAVE TIIIIIIIIIME FOR THIS!
Chris was losing it. He had a WORRY about something not happening and he was in a HURRY to get something done.
Let's chat about that soon.
One thing led to another.
It was like argument tennis.
Two strong-willed individuals battling it out, waiting for the other's resolve to crack.
Then, in a swift manoeuvre, Elsie punched me in the nuts!
It was a good one. At any other moment, any other day...I'd be a proud dadda...but it was that one physical stimulus that tipped me over the edge from barely holding on, to fully sent!
I was done.
I escorted her to her room and told her to stay there for a while until she calmed down.
I needed to calm down too.
Ok, so I realised that I was WORRIED about something. Yes, it was something about the vegetables...but what exactly?
I reflected this morning on what I was so afraid of? I had the insight that I WAS AFRAID THAT IF ELSIE DIDN'T EAT HER VEGETABLES AND ATE CORNFLAKES SHE'D BE UNHEALTHY AND WOULD DEVELOP A POOR SET OF DIETARY HABITS....and maybe some other things, but that was the one story that was playing out the clearest for me.
Face palm hehe
Add to that...I was in a HURRY to get things done that I told myself that I NEEEEEEEEEDED to do.
Why did I think that?
Well, Filly was at work and I wanted to be a good husband so I had a list of jobs I wanted to do to make her proud and happy and impressed and relaxed when she got home from a truly massive day.
Said differently, I wanted to be a good dad and husband so I yelled at my youngest daughter, disconnected from them emotionally so I could get a bunch of jobs done around the house before my wife came home...which is funny...because I didn't have the time because I had to deal with a 7yr old having a meltdown and probably with my own internal little boy 7yr old self having a meltdown too.
HURRY & WORRY
When I'm worried about something and in a rush to do something...and THEN I disregulate up the hizzneeezy...it could be a really good opportunity for me to look at the stories playing out at that time.
P.s. If you’re a juggling high-achieving parent, feeling stressed-out, overwhelmed, and quite frankly physically burned-out, you’ll get a lot of value out of our FREE Live Webinar - “The Juggling Working Mum: How To End Your Body Burnout” - that we’re holding as part of the Devonport Council Festival of Learning on Tue 20 Sept, 7pm. (Dads also welcome…I think we blokes need some help too!). Go here to register.
Chris Bellette is Co-Founder of Chris & Filly Functional Medicine. He is a Life Coach and an accredited Master of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner. He has existed in high-performance realms of the sporting (think national athlete) & business industries and knows what it takes to get from struggle-city to thriving. Together with his wife Filipa Bellette, Chris has worked with over 2,000+ busy, burnout clients in the last 10+ years, and specialises in producing healthy, happy Mums & Dads or have the lifestyle they’ve always wanted...or as he calls it, a Power Parent! Chris’s own passion for producing high-performance Power Parents came from his own personal experience of Daddy Burnout, after juggling the demands of business, elite level sport, family, and his own failing health.
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