How To Train Your Inner Dragon Mum

It seems that losing it at times is part of motherhood. But when you're crabby, snappy, and irritable ALL THE TIME, you can't help but wonder - what's wrong with me?

It's a scenario you may know too well. You're running late, trying to get the kids (and yourself) out the door. The clock is stressing you out, yet no one cares to listen to you. By the time your children have refused once again to put their shoes on, rage takes over, and you SNAP. What comes after that is a car ride to school in pure silence, with you holding back tears, ashamed of what you've done. It's official; you've become a dragon mum. 

I used to feel like that, too, lashing out at my daughters for the smallest things. It deeply scared me because this was not who I was, nor the type of mother I envisioned to be. Deep down, I wanted to be the loving and nurturing mother my daughters deserved. But some days, it was like I was overshadowed with a dragon-like anger, from a place that was unknown. 

History has shown that losing your cool is part of being a parent. After all, it was common practice to yell and smack children back in the days. But today, the simple fact of raising your voice comes with taboo and shame. Why? Because we feel it stems from an inability to control our emotions...But this isn’t always necessarily the case!

Imbalances Awakening Your Inner Dragon Mum

The reality is that there might be imbalances happening in your body and mind. It can force your dragon mum to rear its angry head way more than it should. For example:

Gut Infections

• An infection of the gut could cause your rage. Think of h.pylori, giardia or candida, which are damaging your gut-brain connection with inflammation. Several studies have observed that gut inflammation affects mental health conditions such as mood imbalances, anxiety, and depression. 

Neurotransmitter Depletion

• A depletion of neurotransmitters could be another cause. It relates to an imbalance in your brain chemicals, dopamine or serotonin, triggering your impatience and snappiness, and even irrational anger, as seen in this study. When I tested my neurotransmitters, it wasn't a surprise to see how low my dopamine was. 

Toxin Overload

• Your dragon mum can also awaken because of toxin overload. When your body struggles to detox and cleanse, it affects your brain's healthy functions, triggering more anxiety and depression. Again, there are studies to show the real effects of heavy metal toxicity on mental health. 

Balancing and Taming Your Inner Dragon Mum

Thankfully, your inner dragon mum can be balanced, tamed, and trained with a holistic step-by-step approach. 

Get Tested

• Get tested for any potential imbalances in your body systems - think your brain, gut, hormones, and detox pathways. Testing can be done through specialised functional medicine tests.

Eat Balancing & Anti-Inflammatory Foods

• Be mindful of your nutrition. While it can be a struggle for time-poor working mums, prioritising a balanced diet will help you avoid blood sugar imbalances which can affect mood swings and energy crashes, as well as gut inflammation if you’re eating inflammatory foods.

Get Sleep

• Make sure you rest. Your body and mind repair themselves while you sleep. A lack of it can lead you to feel sluggish and burned-out, so don't overlook your sleep.

Break the Snap-Guilt Cycle

• Break your dragon mum circle. Snapping often comes with a sense of shame and guilt, which snowballs into comfort habits, such as emotional eating or escaping on Netflix or the like. And the more you engage with these habits, the further you drive yourself from balance. To reprogram this behavioural cycle, start with awareness. Notice the emotions, environment, and patterns attached to your habits. 

I know it's not easy to tackle all the above on your own. Having support to calm your body down and do the inner work needed can make a huge difference. Seeking a coach or functional medicine practitioner will help you become the mum you want to be—a Power Parent, someone who is present, calm, loving, and connected. 

A year after working on my inner dragon, I was at the beach with my daughter. At some point, she came to me and said: 

"Mummy, you're so happy now. You're always smiling. You used to be an angry Mummy, but now you're so kind and fun."

My heart exploded! It made all my hard work worth it. And the reality is that life is full of magic that way. My daughter - who is obsessed with dragons - taught me that dragons are not always mean and scary. They can also be incredibly strong, kind, and majestic. It made me realise that while my inner dragon mum will always be part of me, I can train it to only rear its head when it really needs to. And you have this ability too!

Author: Filipa Bellette, Functional Medicine Practitioner & Clinical Nutritionist. Filipa is the Co-Founder of health & wellness practice, Chris & Filly Functional Medicine, which is best known for turning high-performance Mums & Dads into a present, healthy & connected Power Parent...without pepping up on caffeine! With her husband, Chris Bellette, she has worked with over 2,000+ burned-out clients in the last 10 years, with her own passion for Mummy burnout coming from her own personal experience of anxiety and body-breakdown after she had her first baby. She is also a PhD thought-leader, author and award-winner writer in Human Rights. 

If you would like to find out if/how we can help turn you into a present, healthy & connected Power Parent, click this link to Apply For Free Discovery Call.