A better way to think about: "it's not the right time”

I get it, you're a busy working parent, and getting on top of your health is likely at the bottom of your priority list. 

The demands of work are piling on top of you, and then you have to make sure the kids are fed, dressed, cleaned, and the house is in order. You're trying to push through your day, trying to ignore the fatigue and brain fog and niggling aches and pains and headaches that keep creeping up on you. 

However, if you stop to think about it, if you’re really honest with yourself, you know that you should do something about your health (as well as your hectic life!). Yet, as always, you likely brush the intruding thought away, justifying to yourself that “it's not the right time.” 

This common justification - “it’s not the right time” - is really just a form of procrastination. In research settings, people who procrastinate have higher levels of stress and lower well-being. Data also shows that procrastinators often have low self-compassion, which is also a major source of stress among adult procrastinators. 

This is interesting, right? Because, really, putting your health at the back of your to-do list, is really putting YOU at the back of your to-do list. As the saying goes, your health is your best asset. Because without your health, you cannot create wealth, nor can you show up to be the type of professional AND (more importantly) parent, that you want to be.

We had a beautiful client come to seek our help, a few years ago. She had been struggling with debilitating headaches, insomnia and fatigue for 30 years. 30 YEARS OF HER LIFE! She had put off her health for so long, because it was never "the right time." There were four kids to take care of. Work was always consuming. Then there were the holidays, and the celebrations that came round month after month. How was she ever going to be able to do the things she *might* need to do to get on top of her health (i.e. like reducing her chocolate intake!). 30 years passed and she became a grandma, and she had new things to take care of. Always, always she put her health aside, because it was never the right time. When she finally sought our help, literally 2-months later, after working holistically with her on her adrenal stress hormones, she started sleeping again, and a month or two later the anxiety and headaches calmed right down. She was happier, more patient and more loving with her husband, her kids, and her grandkids, then she had been in a long time. 

A few months it took to turn around 30 YEARS OF SUFFERING!

If you're someone who has been holding back with the common self-limiting belief - “it’s not the right time” - here are 3 steps you can start doing right now to turn your procrastination into action-taking.

• Step 1 - Go with your goals, not with how you feel. Set some goals. Where would you like to be in 1 year's time? What would you like your life to look like? What does your health look like? What do your relationships look like? Write down some goals. Next, lean into your goals - and not with how you feel. If you've been putting your wellbeing off for this long, it's highly likely you have some pretty intense feelings for doing so. Like maybe you're feeling overwhelmed because you think it will be too hard, or you're confused about where to start so you haven't started at all, or you're scared of change, or you're just feeling down and a bit depressed, with little motivation to take action. These feelings too often stop us from acting. Shake away those feelings, and lean into your goals. You’ll notice your energy and focus shift dramatically when you do this!

• Step 2. If this is hard to do, and you're not moving forward, ask yourself: how important are your goals? From a scale of 1-10 (1 being not that important, to 10 very important), rate your goals on importance. If your goals are high in importance, focus on those goals as your highest priority. Write these goals and post them in prominent places in your home or at work. This will help to shake off any self-doubt or general procrastination, and keep you focussed on moving forwards. If your goals aren’t very important to you, then you’ll likely never change. Find something that absolutely lights you up - that you’ve been wanting all your life!

• Step 3. If you're struggling to make change because you lack the know-how, the direction, or accountability, hire a practitioner or coach to help you create an individualised game plan, and guide you through the steps to get from where you are now, to where you want to be.

If you're someone who is putting of your wellbeing because it's “not the right time”, consider this: where will you be in 1 years time if you don't do anything about your situation? You'll likely stay the same - stuck on this never-ending hamster wheel of doing-doing-doing. Stuck with your burnout symptoms. Tired, crabby, inflamed. Your productivity at work remains sub-par, and you continue living a disconnected and dissatisfied life, both professionally and with your family. Or worse - if you don't do anything to change, things could get worse. You could literally burn your body out, so you have to drop down hours at work, or stop working altogether, which will leave you with financial stress and fear, and potentially a family that falls apart. 

On the other hand, if you decide - TODAY I AM GOING TO LEAN IN - and you actually act, and start doing the things you need to do to turn your health and your life around, in one year's time, it is highly likely you will see improvements in your health, in your work-life balance, in your productivity, and most importantly, in your relationships with your family. 

Is it worth wasting 30 years living like you are now?

If you answered no. Go back up to the three recommended steps above, and start implementing. 

As a summary, putting your health and your family life off because "it's not the right time" is a form of procrastination, and has also been shown to be linked to higher stress and lower wellbeing. There is a common saying: "If you wait until you're ready, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life." If you think hard enough, there will always be a ton of reasons why now is not the right time. A better way to live is to lean into your goals, and to that which is most important, rather then continually getting stuck in self-limiting thoughts and beliefs. The more time you waste, the more pain you will endure.

Instead, lean in, make small changes, make small movements, and watch yourself move forward to becoming a Power Parent: more present, loving and connected. A better work-life balance, more love for your own body, more energy and vitality, and a happier, healthier family. 

If you'd like help moving in the right direction, we'd love to offer you a Free Discovery Call. This is no-strings-attached, so if it turns out you're not the right fit for our practice, we can give you some more practical tips (or referrals) to continue moving forward in the right direction to your elevated version of yourself! Go to this link to book in for a Free Discovery Call. It's super easy, you just need to add your details, and any notes about your current situation, and we'll give you a call at your scheduled time.

Author: Filipa Bellette, Functional Medicine Practitioner & Clinical Nutritionist. Filipa is the Co-Founder of health & wellness practice, Chris & Filly Functional Medicine, which is best known for healing the body and mind of burned-out working mums & dads, so that they can become a Power Parent: more present, loving & connected. With her husband, Chris Bellette, she has worked with over 2,000+ burned-out clients in the last 10 years, with her own passion for Mummy burnout coming from her own personal experience of anxiety and body-breakdown after she had her first baby. She is also a PhD thought-leader, author and award-winner writer in Human Rights. 

If you would like more information about our functional medicine body + mind practices and to see if this is something that could help you, click this link to Apply For Free Discovery Call.